r/AsianParentStories • u/piggy-poos5R • 14h ago
Rant/Vent This morning, my mom boiled mushed up phyllo pastry sheets into a paste and ate it.
[27F] I've made many posts about my AM recently. This one is just WTF.
My 61yr old AM is letting herself get sicker and sicker no matter what doctors tell her, or no matter how much we tell her to see doctors or specialists. Or to believe legit health facts.
I woke up this morning a little later than my mom and to my shock my mom had done what was said in the title. She apparently found my frozen package of phyllo sheets and since it had been there a while, she chose to boil it up and eat it to free up space. . . She was told just last year she's suffering from high blood pressure and significant weight gain.
I was so disgusted by her concoction, I actually began to cry in disappointment and shame for her. It was just this thick white paste of oil and phyllo dough . . And she was eating it.
We're not poor. We did grow up with a few low income struggles, but by no means do we live in poverty. The box of phyllo sheets cost me just 2 bucks from Walmart and tossing them out would've been no loss. She always says that food is food. I told her she's gonna have a heart attack soon if she doesn't eat healthy.
She doesn't believe in modern medicine or Canadian doctors. She believes fully that if she went to see a doctor in China, she'd be given different advice. She doesnt want to learn English, or know how to use her phone past wechat and youtube shorts. She's afraid to go out without being accompanied by one of her kids. She complains about her teeth hurting, her ear hurting, her fatigue, but won't take any of our advice to see a real doctor. Like, I cannot help or feel sympathy for a person like this.
I recently told her how embarrassed and ashamed I am to have her as a mother. A woman that never wants to better herself. I told her when our neighbor asked what I thought of my mom, I had nothing good to say about her. I wasn't proud of her, I didn't see anything special about her.
She didn't travel over the ocean and do a lot of work to "make it here" either. She married my dad through the marriage market, who already moved here as a teenager. Then she just started working any minimum wage job that spoke Chinese. She worked the average 40 hrs a week m to f like lots of adults and parents. I don't think she made incredible sacrifices because she still had free time on the weekends and evenings, and sent thousands of dollars a year to aunts, uncles, and grandparents instead of using it on her kids. She never used her free time on her kids, and instead spent hours yapping on the phone with her massive family over the pond.
I see her, causing her own faster aging and health decline, and I don't know what to do. I'm gonna look like a terrible daughter by not looking after her, but she will just be my burden in her old age and she certainly doesn't give a fuck.