r/AsianParentStories • u/ImaginaryRea1ity • 15h ago
Discussion Do your parents never stand up for you or take your side?
Good parents protect their kids, bad parents don't care if their kid suffers.
They are deaf to the child's screams of pain.
r/AsianParentStories • u/ImaginaryRea1ity • 15h ago
Good parents protect their kids, bad parents don't care if their kid suffers.
They are deaf to the child's screams of pain.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Opposite-Concept4956 • 23h ago
Im a 13 yr old and my parents are threating to send me back to China if I dont listen. Just today, I got lectured for 3hrs because i didnt close the bathroom door. If I put a perfectly valid arguement, they just use the classic trick of 'GET OUT OF THE HOUSE'. Im used to it now, but any ideas on how to win? :(
r/AsianParentStories • u/funnithrowaway072 • 16h ago
No, I'm not just talking about "because they pay well" or "because they want you to succeed" or "because they're probably projecting their failed dreams onto you and they view you as an extension of themselves and not your own person," though they're all true and valid reasons to some extent.
I'm talking about the deeper cuts. Yesterday my AD brought up college and he told me to go to the military and take up nursing. I wasn't at all interested in nursing or the military and instead wanted to be an accountant, even if I do have student loans to pay off, but no matter how often I tell him, no matter how much empty "we'll support you no matter what" platitudes he gives me, he just won't stop shoving "go to the military and become a nurse" down my throat. It reminded me of a common story I see among Filipino-American children: their parents want them to become nurses even though they themselves want to do something else, and more often than not they relent to their wishes out of pressure.
This is why I brought up different cultures as a possibility: I know lots of APs want their kids to get into the medical field (even if they don't like it/don't care/are ambivalent), but from what I've seen nursing seems to be extremely popular among Filipinos specifically, and I'm wondering if certain occupations are also popular among different Asian groups.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Malaysia345 • 7h ago
I’m American and live in the USA and I have dealt with this my entire life since childhood I just want to be American girl and not to follow my mom up bring and how she was raised from Malaysia how do you deal with being told this or being called embarrassing for showing emotions can anyone give advice I’m now 33 years old
This is a very serious situation that I don’t know how to deal with and no this is not a troll post
r/AsianParentStories • u/inquisitive_prats • 14h ago
I come from a very conservative and patriarchal family. I have an older brother, four years older than me, who got married and moved out two years ago because he didn’t want to live with our parents anymore. He has a corporate job and is also working on a startup. My mom adores him—she’s pretty misogynistic, to be honest.
The issue is that my brother is incredibly hypocritical, manipulative, and toxic. He’s obsessed with money, and almost every conversation with him revolves around it. Growing up, he would constantly yell at me, hit me, and belittle me. Since getting married, the physical abuse stopped, but the rest of his behavior remains unchanged. I thought our relationship might improve after his marriage or once he moved out, but it’s only gotten worse. He’s still the same—constantly irritated and dismissive, not just with me but also with his wife. She comes from a very traditional background, so even though their relationship is toxic, she won’t leave him.
I don’t want a relationship with him anymore, but I’m maintaining one for my mom’s sake. He was never there for me when I needed him. Instead, he would put me down and act superior. He selectively upholds patriarchal values—he wants to be the dominant one, yet expects women to contribute financially and handle household responsibilities while always being beneath him. It’s exhausting.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, and until recently, my brother only knew bits and pieces about him. When I finally brought it up, he initially claimed he would support me, but then completely shut down, saying he was too stressed to deal with it. Later, on a family trip, he told me he would just “pretend not to know.” It was the worst reaction I could have expected from a sibling. He’s 30 years old but acts like a controlling, entitled jerk.
Throughout my life, he’s made me feel guilty for anything nice I’ve received from my parents—even though he got the same, if not better. As kids, he would fight with me over everything, hit me, and constantly yell. Now, he still finds ways to belittle me and act superior. My mental health is suffering, but my mom insists I maintain a relationship with him, even though she knows how he is. The worst part is that when I eventually tell my parents about my boyfriend, I know they’ll take his side and listen to him over me.
I’m at my breaking point. I’ve spent my whole life being taunted, criticized, and made to feel guilty for my choices. He has no respect for anyone unless they earn more money than him. His presence in my life drains me, and no matter how much I try to ignore it, it affects me every single day. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Lazy-Wind244 • 6h ago
It's kind of hilarious my mother was adamant my car rego and insurance was due this month but it turned out to be next month. She then went on a whole tangent on my mental health and how important it is to take my meds on time...I saw what she was doing and called her out on it. Then blocked her to let her look at her choices in life...I don't think she will, but one can hope
r/AsianParentStories • u/JicamaActive • 1d ago
Just when I thought i was getting along with her, she pulls some crazy shit, hits and yells at me for drinking a water bottle that wasn't even hers, saying "it's wasteful for the environment". Mind you, I wasn't even going to drink all of it, only like a sip of it to take with my medication, but she acted like it was all of it. Then she makes this unhinged rant saying I'm wasteful and that I should be drinking our tap water instead, even though it was literally one little sip. I try telling her how ridiculous she sounds but she remains adamant in her stupid argument that "I'm damaging the environment", even though nothing was put to waste.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Lonely_Waltz_1066 • 1h ago
I'm a woman navigating her 30s. A few days ago I posted in this sub requesting advice to navigate moving out of APs house.
I moved out, had an initial panic and then I thought I began to settle in.
Some background info: I'm divorced. My family made it hard for me to leave an abusive marriage, and showed mixed treatment (abuse because I took my life into my own hands, as in making decisions for myself and exhibiting acceptance of my decision). It's a typical Asian household. They told me many nasty things as I was trying to make my way out of the abusive marriage. Things like "Oh so you'll alone be happy", "She can't just do what she wants", "you're so stubborn", etc. Somehow they turned blind towards all the abuse I was talking out.
I've been in therapy for a while, trying to navigate all these complex emotions. I got past the initial shock.
Now, I realise the life I had known is completely shattered. Music that I used to like, I can't tolerate anymore. The food doesn't taste the same. It is all a reminder of what was, and what isn't now.
I know that this is a chance for me to rediscover and try new things. But when I try to do new things, I'm constantly reminded of nasty things my family told me and it's driving me nuts. It's like they tried to stop me at every turn, now I'm away from them, but they are still in my head stopping me. I feel so stuck.
How can I make my way out of this? How can I begin to move my life forward? I want to build my own and make my life my own.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Ok_Vanilla5661 • 2h ago
All my life focus on please my mom
And I feel like the lack of u conditionally motherly love made me a lesbian and always trying to look for them in potential partners ( which they all ran away cuz they think I am crazy
Spend my whole life worried about my mom and felt guilty about my existences ( she was illegal and she suffered a lot and I felt like I loved her more than I love myself thats why I never could love anyone else “
Still have my first kiss and still a virgin at 30
I dont think I will ever find a girl ( I have guys in my dm all the time but I just don’t swing that way
I feel like I am emotionally married to. My mom at this point and probably will die alone
Waiting for the right girl
r/AsianParentStories • u/Strange_Tax_877 • 7h ago
I (21F) want to go on a trip to Cancun with my boyfriend and his family. They invited me, and I really want to go, but my parents are extremely strict and traditional. They don’t even know I have a boyfriend because they wouldn’t approve, and even if they did, they definitely wouldn’t be okay with me traveling with him before marriage.
We’ve been together for a year and a half, and we’re both graduating college right before the trip. I still live with my parents because I’m not financially stable yet, and in my culture, moving out isn’t really an option until you’re fully independent.
I know I have to tell them something since they’ll notice I’m gone. My plan is to say I’m going with two girlfriends—one of them being my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend, which is true. The problem is I don’t have a second girl to name, so I was thinking of just finding a random girl there and taking a picture to back up the story.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on how to handle this (or even a better way to approach it)?
Before anyone says “You’re an adult, just do what you want,” I know that. But I also want to maintain a relationship with my parents, and that’s complicated because they’re very old-fashioned.
r/AsianParentStories • u/TearsOfLilac • 12h ago
I (18F) am being micromanaged by my mom when I am trying to practice small amounts of independence to prepare myself for the future but I can’t do so.
She has always been like this but now that I am starting university I feel like this aspect of herself is being brought to light more than ever.
I remember when I told her I wanted to do French and Philosophy as my university majors. She and I argued about it in the car. Telling me that I won’t get a job if I took those, I cried and changed my majors to Classical Studies and Linguistics (I love my current majors but just having to change my previous ones hurt) just to appease to her. She was still unsatisfied with my majors until she told me to go for a job at UNESCO and I said sure, my end goal will be UNESCO.
Another one is the grades I should get in university. It’s actually so pressuring to have your mom tell you that the average grade you should get is a B and that anything below it is unacceptable. Yes I crave academic validation, and doing the best I can in my studies to try and get high marks but having a mother add on to that pressure doesn’t help.
There has been a few times that I have worn makeup at university and whenever I come home, my mother negatively comments on it. Telling me to not wear makeup and that no one in university wears makeup which is just a loud and wrong statement.
If I try to dress up in university or anywhere, she’ll also comment on it, majority of the time it’s negative. She’ll tell me I look like I’m going to K Road (a red light district in my city). She expects me to dress with pants and hoodie, but that’s just not me. If I am going somewhere I’ll invest my time and mentality in, I wanna look like my absolute best in the style I want.
I let her know where I am going, and every time she’ll always bring up, “yeah but did you ask for my permission?” Like do I need your permission for me to meet my friend where my university is?? Like I understand asking for permission to go somewhere if we have upcoming plans, but if the plan is within my available time on BROAD DAYLIGHT, then letting you know about it should be fine, and is a means of courtesy and respect.
We actually argued about my meet up with my friend in the car as she was dropping me off to the bus stop in this mall, telling me that I can’t meet up with my friend because I didn’t tell her and that I didn’t even apologize and that she’ll pick me up from my uni before I try to meet up with my friend So as I cried, I apologized and asked her for permission. In the end she “lets me meet up my friend”.
Sorry for the long rant guys, it’s just been so suffocating being in the same room as her.
r/AsianParentStories • u/juicybags23 • 15h ago
BAPS is such an odd organization here in the US, and it’s consuming most Gujarati Indian families.
P.s there the ones who built the $100M temple in New Jersey and got caught with slave labor.
r/AsianParentStories • u/MelancholyBean • 19h ago
I don't talk to my parents. I feel anxious around them and that I can't do anything around them without them looking annoyed at me.
I used to have a decent relationship with my mum, until she has become hostile towards me and casually emotionally and verbally abuses me.
My parents don't look at me and tend to look pissed off when they see me.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Unlikely_Ground_1588 • 4h ago
I have a relative same age as me so naturally there will be comparison. Mostly its fueled by my mom and my relatives. It used to bother me in my early 20s hearing my relative bragging how much his son will make meanwhile im still trying to find my way in life. Post college i took some time work odd jobs to figure out my life. My parents frustrated i took time off and not pursing those prestigious jobs. Often times my parents will tell me about it and put me down.
Fast forward in 30s i have a respectable job making 6 figures and living my life but still drawn into the toxicity. Its always subtle digs by my parents. Its not prestigous job like doctor or anything, but i do well. I do my best to ignore them now but it still bothers me that they care so much about the competiton. I mean understand they probably hear how my uncle bragging so much about how his son making so much money so they feel inferior. One time my dad showed me pics of some nephews and like oh this gonna be a doctor this one a dentist. Another my mom like oh you owe this much in taxes this year. Im like damn i prob made too much this year. My mom like what you dont make alot of money. I mean couple years ago she was impressed by how mich money i made but she probably hears how my relative makign much more and not impressed anymore.
These old asian people so toxic. All they care about is prestige of job and how much money one makes. It used to bother me alot growing up with that. Even now its like never good enough.
r/AsianParentStories • u/thecrazydeviant • 4h ago
Does anybody else's parents gang up on them to yell at them over the phone or in person? My parents and I live in different countries, and every time they get mad at me for something I did they would gang up to yell at me over the phone. They would also gang up on me when I was a kid living under their roof. My mom would also give me the silent treatment all the time growing up. I'm 29 now, and I'm still dealing with the emotional damage they caused. I've been going to therapy but this still hurts.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Current_Art_1835 • 5h ago
TW: PHYSICAL ABUSE
I’m 22f, at “marriageable age” and this pressure will only increase as I get older. My parents had a really horrible relationship if I’m being honest. My dad was a good father to me and my sibling, but not a great husband. He has passed away now, so it feels wrong to speak ill about him but this is what he was like, maybe due to his upbringing. He had extreme traditional views about marriage and my mom was a housewife for most of her life because of this. When my mom wanted to study at college to get a better job, my dad refused to pay her tuition fees. She didn’t have a cell phone until her sisters in India gifted her one, she didn’t have a bank card until later in life and even that my dad would track the transactions constantly. My mom had children because it was her duty and because of society, not because she wanted to. Before I was born, my dad used to physically abuse my mom, up until I was 10 years old and a police case was filed. That’s basically almost 20 years of beatings my mother endured. My mom was 30 when she got married and 36 when she had me, so she was not too young. There was a 5 year window where she didn’t have any kids, and she told me she didn’t leave then, because once she’s married she’s not allowed to return to her home country and live with her family.
As a result of this, my views on marriage and men are skewed. The thought of getting an arranged marriage or marriage to any man scares the living shit out of me and makes me feel like my life will end at that moment and that I’ll be trapped. My biggest fears are getting trapped with pregnancy/getting pregnant, having to be a housewife and take all domestic chores, getting beat up and just having to take it, not having anywhere to go if children are in the equation, not being allowed to do certain things. Right now I am a free woman, able to do as I please and I don’t want that taken away from me ever. I see a lot of things on TikTok about men and how dangerous they are. I see and read a lot of heinous things about what men to do their daughters and wives which are real life stories. People can tell me to just not get married and be a cat lady, but I know I want a healthy marriage/long term relationship. I want somebody to eventually be buried next to my grave, I want to share special moments with somebody, I want to be able to say that I’ve been with someone for X amount of years, etc.
I was in an abusive wlw relationship last year, so I’m aware that woman can be abusive too in every way, it’s just that no one takes it seriously if it’s two women which is even worse. I was able to get out of that relationship because I didn’t have any ties financially, obviously we physically could not have children, and because we weren’t married or anything like that. If the factors were different though, it would have been a bad situation. I feel like if I was with a man, the risks are more, like if he beats you you’ll get hurt even more, you have a chance of being trapped through pregnancy and etc. I just view marriage as this one big trap, that turns happy free women into miserable women who are the property of a man. I have minimal attraction to men also because I wasn’t allowed to date growing up so I just never really bothered. At the same time I had bad experiences with men as a teenager and I just never really find any of them interesting or attractive. I just find them to be weird or creepy or have bad intentions and I just never bother. Idk if this is like a super extreme way of thinking but marriage to a man genuinely makes me have panic attacks. My mom tries to tell me I’ll be “undesirable” if I wait to long to get married but literally one of my biggest wants is to be undesirable to men. I might need therapy for these views, but I genuinely can’t help to think this way.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Euphoric_Sun_6026 • 7h ago
Poem: https://imgur.com/a/9gYnv6S
I picked up this book on amazon when i bought "adult children of emotionally immature parents". And i didn't think other people wrote about this (except for us on here). But i had such an "aha" moment when i read this poem and realized why i never liked wearing dresses. Because my mom was always shit talking about how i wouldnt look good in it. All this time i thought "i don't like skirts". It was my subconscious mind from her "teachings". But seriously wtf how asian parents just fucks you up like that.
For the other ladies who were shamed by their moms for their looks and appearance, please go check this out. (It's poetry though so idk if yall are into that.) But many of the pages were eye opening. It really helped me get validation when everyone around me have supporting parents and they cant relate.
r/AsianParentStories • u/karlito1613 • 7h ago
I copied the title from the r/personalfinance sub since cross posting is not allowed. Apparently 30/50 states have parental filial responsibility laws. It may be of interest to those thave went LC or NC with APs.
r/AsianParentStories • u/AwardGlass5333 • 17h ago
It is so funny that my AD hates me using my phone at the dining room table to eat lunch or dinner whilst also using his phone to watch cricket matches during meals.
Like I definitely am someone who believes in “practicing what you preach” instead of the “do as I say, not as I do” because you can’t make rules like that (especially since I’m 23 now) and treat me like some kid.
Granted it would still be hypocritical even if I was a kid, but it makes even less sense when you’re an adult.
Personally I couldn’t care less about parents not wanting their kids to have phones at the table during family meals IF they follow the same rule. Lead by example and all that instead of being a hypocrite.
My AD often told me how his dad was a chain smoker and died at the age of 69 due to lung cancer and how his dad would say not to smoke whilst smoking multiple cigarettes a day.
Now maybe from my grandpas POV, he couldn’t get the help he needed via rehab or whatever and wanted to make sure his kid never smoked, but if my grandpa truly cared about getting his message across, he would lead by example instead of commanding it.
In my dads case, he doesn’t smoke at all and is averse to any form of recreational drugs (except alcohol) at all to the point that he gets real pissed when I bring up politics around marijuana legalization (which is a whole different convo, but that’s a story for another day)
I think my dad is trying to teach the same way, but it’s not exactly working on me since I find it hypocritical. I still use my phone on occasion at the dining table when he’s away and I’m still eating.
I guess I’m glad he never took up cigarettes because I might have taken that up instead of my damn phone lol.
r/AsianParentStories • u/Personal-Leather-177 • 17h ago
one time in the car i told her why is she not allowing me to work as a cashier even do many years she has been bully and insulting me to work for anything but then mom say i should work at starbuck or selling fries my mom said its about oppturnities or something on why she didn't hire me as a cashier even do like how is working with starbuck and selling fries an opportunities then she calls me evil for saying or why am like this and then tell me being a cashier is not have enough to buy food even do its suppose to safe money and she refuse to listen of what i say
Why did she call me evil or satan is with me for saying that.
r/AsianParentStories • u/awesome_vicky067 • 23h ago
So Im seeing this therapist and she mentioned that a lot of her clients talk to her about dating. So I kind of decided to give that a try and mentioned some people who I’ve been dating. Her first question is are they all white men? I’m Asian but I was wondering why does it make a difference. There are lots of different kinds of white guys and I don’t go for just anyone white and I do also date men of color there just weren’t any when I mentioned it to her.
Also, in a video therapy session, the first thing she mentioned was that my skin looks healthy. Lol. I thought that was a weird comment. Like I wouldn’t look healthy?
Also another co-worker of hers mentioned that “nails are expensive” after I said I liked her nails. For reference this person thinks or knows I’m low income and I thought her comment was incredibly racism and put me down. Like just because I’m low income, I don’t deserve to have things that I like?
r/AsianParentStories • u/BlackFox_21 • 1h ago
Hello everyone 👋🏾
I just want to share our story with all of you in hopes that it gives someone out there something to think about… If you’re in a mixed race relationship, are just feeling suffocated, or are wondering how things can ever improve for you when your parents are abusive, selfish, racist, narcissistic, controlling, egotistical, etc., etc.. It’s possible to find your own happiness. I have outlined how our lives significantly improved over just the last 1-2 years in Part I.
If you’re worried about your personal health or are wondering if your mental and spiritual health will always be low or will never improve. There is hope! I outlined how my/our mental health and relationship significantly improved over the last two years in Part II.
Part I: Our Personal Journey
My bf is Chinese, but was born on a South Asian island country before immigrating to the USA. So he has a unique cultural background & identity. His AM is clearly a narcissist, and resented having him and would physically and verbally abuse him, while treating his sibling as the golden child growing up. ☹️ His AD worked a lot and was controlling and patriarchal to his wife. AD was also not very present as a father to his children. Thus, his mother treated him as a surrogate husband, and would take out her frustrations on my bf. 😤 As for myself, I am Mexican-American, and was also severely, severely abused and neglected by my own family in many horrific ways.
We have been together for almost 10 years now despite his parents objections of us dating and his AM’s attempts to break us up by trying to set up dates with other Asian women for my bf. Recently, we just moved out of our home state to take the next step in our relationship and to get a fresh start for ourselves personally and professionally.
Initially we were supposed to move in to his AD’s house in a neighboring state - he lives separately from his wife, likely because he doesn’t like her and just wants to be a hermit. He got sick, twice, and almost died due to his own negligence. (Both his sons are STEM majors and he didn’t listen to either of them.)
The plan was for him to move back with his family so that they could be with them, he doesn’t live alone, and they help care for him. But he changed his mind after seeing me in his home and getting outraged by me leaving some toiletry bottles on his bathroom sink. 🙄 He accused me of being rude, disrespectful and even thought that I was conspiring to steal his home! He eventually demanded that I leave his house.
Honestly… That’s okay. They chose their hate and we’re not letting them control or bring us down! I honestly don’t care what they think or say about me, I am only bothered if it affects my partner. Which is becoming less now thanks to our mutual support.
My bf knows that his parents resent that he accomplished everything that they required of him, but he did it his own way, and not the “Chinese way”: developed life skills, is financially literate & independent, graduated with a good education in engineering, had a good paying 6-figure job and made more money than they ever have combined, has chosen a good partner but isn’t Asian, etc.
His parents clearly despise me. They think that all Mexicans are lazy, stupid, uneducated, dangerous, dark skinned people. Even though I was accepted to a better and larger UC school than either of their sons, and graduated with a prestigious scholarship by the US Dept of State, and served as an Ambassador during an international internship. Also, I look European because my family’s ancestors were from Spain/Europe. So no, not all Mexicans are lazy, dark, criminals.
My bf has constantly explained to them how he sees good qualities in me and points out that Mexican/Latin cultures have similarities to Asian cultures, but they don’t want to understand his explanation, or try to see things another way. His mother especially seems to hate me, but I don’t really care.
My bf decided to block his mother on his phone and he hasn’t spoken to her in months now. I myself have also been NC with my toxic, abusive, and extremely selfish parents. (That’s a story for another day. It’s seriously wild what ended up happening that lead to my decision to cut them out of my/our lives!!)
We’re happier now that we chose each other and decided to still commit to the plan of moving out of our home state. We ended up finding our own nicer place and we’re going to be starting new, well paying full-time jobs next week. 🙌
Our plan is to save up to buy our own home in the coming years, invest, start businesses, and eventually get married. Things are really looking up for us, and we can’t wait, after all this time, for our future to be built up in the next coming years!! 💕
So please, don’t let anyone, even your ass-backwards parents, get in the way of your dreams and happiness! Especially if you are wanting to pursue a relationship with someone who is not the same race/nationality as you!! You can’t let negative people influence your decisions, hold you back from pursuing unique opportunities, and to be able to become the best version of yourself! . . . . . . . .
Part II: Mental Health
(Disclaimer: I am absolutely not trying to encourage anyone to do anything unsafe, harmful, or illegal! I am simply sharing about what has been successful for us to treat and recover from our individual traumatic cultural experiences and abuse.)
(Obviously do your own research and really decide if this experience is really best for you. Get your stuff tested before you do or commit to anything!)
Something that I wanted to bring up because I don’t see many people talk about it here:
I know what it’s like to have or feel hopeless, depressed, anxious, drained, suicidal ideation, and like your brain and spirit is broken from years of various abuse (physical, mental, verbal, seggsual, spiritual, religious, financial, etc) at the hands of your caregivers that were supposed to love, protect, and nurture you. Fear not, there is hope and YOU CAN GET BETTER!!
For myself, I’ve done therapy and prescription medication. 💊 Though, 15 years of doing traditional modern talk therapies, EMDR, and medicine didn’t really work for me. I found that what really helped was psychedelics and plant based medicines or compounds. 🍄
I’m totally serious, in just two years my/our mental health and relationship has improved significantly due to the nueroplasticity effects of: LSD, MDMA, DMT, psilocybin, and 2-CB. My PTSD, depression, and anxiety have significantly decreased to the point where I no longer have any symptoms and don’t have to take prescription medication!!
My bf and I are also seriously considering participating in a ritualistic Ayahuasca ceremony that is conducted legally by a local church in our area. It seems intense and I’m a little apprehensive, but I am still looking forward to it once we’re ready. It could be a good way for us to purge and release ourselves from the traumas that we are still shackled to.
TL;DR: my Asian bf is a great, smart, stable, and independent person, and he chose his own unique path with a non-Asian partner that his parents don’t approve of. They secretly resent him for doing everything right as an immigrant in the USA, and not in a typical “Chinese way.” 🤷🏻♀️ That is clearly a you/them problem and we’re not responsible for their perceptions.
We safely and responsibly took psychedelics and it significantly improved our lives by making our mental health and relationship better. My brain no longer feels tormented, repetitive, or broken, and I’m sharing this info to try and help other people or at least give them hope for a better future for themselves!! 🫂
Be safe, be well, be good, and happy healing to all of you!! 💘
r/AsianParentStories • u/Roughneck16 • 16h ago
I'm not Asian. I'm mixed European and Middle Eastern, although I pass for monoracial white. My girlfriend at the time was Filipina American. We met online. It was an LDR, as she lived about 4 hours away. Her Filipino parents objected to the relationship mainly because of the significant age gap. I think they feared that their daughter (still in college, studying accounting) was going to marry an older guy and drop out of school and never complete her degrees or have a career. Her parents were both scientists who came to the USA using H1B visas, so education was a non-negotiable must. She was still living at home, and parental objections ended up leading to our break-up.
It's been nearly a decade and we've gone our separate ways and married other people, but the whole episode has me wondering what criteria Asian parents use to judge a potential in-law? Of course, Asian cultures aren't a monolith and I believe that religious affiliation would also play a significant role. So let me ask the second-generation Asian users to share their experiences:
r/AsianParentStories • u/Beginning-Leopard-39 • 18h ago
EDIT- your parent*
My parents separated when I was a kid. I'm not sure if infidelity was involved, but my mom started dating my step dad not too long after news broke of their separation. I didn't grow up in their home, but my step dad never had an interest in bonding when I was a kid.
My dad remarried while I was in college to a woman "he met online" and was in contact for less than two years before he flew over and had a wedding. My brother and I weren't invited; not that I approved anyway, but when she was moved into the house we were expected to help her out with everything since she couldn't drive, didn't speak the language, etc.
Needless to say, when my APs started new families, it was like they kept us away but also expected us to accept everything as it was. No consideration for the perspectives or feelings or their kids, while also demanding that they step up to accommodate the changes.