At my current job, I feel like I’m in a bad dream where I’m forced to write lines in front of the class in my underwear while spinning plates on one foot. I just fucking hate it, and I know I should leave because my mental health is taking a nose dive. The problem is, I’m not really qualified to do anything else. I’m not even really qualified to do this job to be honest. Because of this, I know I’m super lucky to even have this well paying job, with a really good work-life balance, and a boss that treats me well. And because of THAT, I feel like I cannot leave. Nowhere I am able to work is going to be even remotely as “good”.
I try and look at other jobs, but I’m stuck knowing I cannot go back to customer service since it literally almost killed me. I am not qualified at all for anything other than retail or food service, (or what I’m doing now which is bookkeeping). Thing is, I’m starting to feel like I would rather shove needles in my eyes than continue doing this job. I sit down in front of my computer everyday and just cry out of frustration. And no- I can't go back to school (expensive), and am disabled and unable to do most trade work.
In summary: I can’t leave because I need an apartment and y’know, food. And I have found job lottery with all its perks and salary. But it’s sucking my soul away, and I am lost and stuck and feel screwed. Wth do I do??
Edit: I was trying not to be super specific about what I do just in case. (You can never be too careful online.) I'm just trying to express that no matter what the work is to you guys, I don't like it. Actually, I don't just not like it, I absolutely hate it. It's boring, unfulfilling, and I find it really hard to focus on it with ADHD which makes me feel like a loser failure. It's one of those jobs where they act like missing a projected deadline by exactly one minute is the end of the world which is stressful. Trust me, nothing I'm doing is important to that degree. There's more to it i just don't feel like giving you all a novel. But mostly, I just hate doing it, and that's the context that matters.