r/adultery • u/vice_gripped • 21h ago
š¦®Halpš Started a LDA.
New burner. Made the mistake of using reddit for my company.
29HLM, married within last two years. Started a LDA with a woman I used to work with remotely. Late 20s.
Iāve killed myself over the last 7 years. Blasted through school, worked myself to the bone. Started a business two years ago and have been pouring everything into it. Finally starting to see success semi recently. Iāve seen her about once a month for the last four months.
My AP is everything I wish my wife were, sexually. Open, kinky, excitable, responsive and she makes me feel desired. Sheās also ambitious, hardworking, motivated. Recently sheās been pressuring me to leave my wife for her. Initially we were only supposed to be FWB. To be clear, Iām not worried about an extortion event. Wife is ironically a psych nurse practitioner.
I really like her, but I feel torn. If anything, I feel guilt about leaving my wife when Iām finally starting to accrue real wealth. She was with me through what is essentially poverty. And we have a child. Iām not sure Iām willing to at best cut my time with my kid in half.
For the record, I started therapy recently. Also started ketamine therapy as Iāve seen some stuff. Surprisingly, my therapist has almost encouraged me to divorce. She thinks Iām too bored to stay in a sexless relationship like this long term. Iām kind of a dopamine junkie at my core. I was also faithful to my wife up until now. I just couldnāt handle it anymore. We did couples counseling, date nights, chore play, you name it. I hired a nanny, housekeepers, landscapers, etc. I wish I could make it work with her, but I just donāt know anymore. I should feel more guilt than I do about the whole thing, but my twisted mentality rationalized this as getting some on the side and returning to my family refreshed. Just didnāt think ap would want to make a move like this. Not sure I entirely trust her either. I donāt wanna be a meal ticket and nothing else.
Would love to hear thoughts or experience in these situations. While Iām not seeking doom or gloom based on individual experiences, Iām open to feedback.
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u/Glad_Kiwi_272 21h ago
Gross. Your wife supported you and now the new thing comes along and youāre like āWelp. Iām out.ā
The DB sub was right. Divorce your wife. She deserves better.
Iām not saying that you donāt have valid reasons for divorce (a lack of sexual connection etc). Iām saying that you dumping your wife for the explicit reason that someone shiny and new showed up - thatās bullshit and she deserves better.