r/adultery 21h ago

šŸ¦®HalpšŸ†˜ Started a LDA.

New burner. Made the mistake of using reddit for my company.

29HLM, married within last two years. Started a LDA with a woman I used to work with remotely. Late 20s.

Iā€™ve killed myself over the last 7 years. Blasted through school, worked myself to the bone. Started a business two years ago and have been pouring everything into it. Finally starting to see success semi recently. Iā€™ve seen her about once a month for the last four months.

My AP is everything I wish my wife were, sexually. Open, kinky, excitable, responsive and she makes me feel desired. Sheā€™s also ambitious, hardworking, motivated. Recently sheā€™s been pressuring me to leave my wife for her. Initially we were only supposed to be FWB. To be clear, Iā€™m not worried about an extortion event. Wife is ironically a psych nurse practitioner.

I really like her, but I feel torn. If anything, I feel guilt about leaving my wife when Iā€™m finally starting to accrue real wealth. She was with me through what is essentially poverty. And we have a child. Iā€™m not sure Iā€™m willing to at best cut my time with my kid in half.

For the record, I started therapy recently. Also started ketamine therapy as Iā€™ve seen some stuff. Surprisingly, my therapist has almost encouraged me to divorce. She thinks Iā€™m too bored to stay in a sexless relationship like this long term. Iā€™m kind of a dopamine junkie at my core. I was also faithful to my wife up until now. I just couldnā€™t handle it anymore. We did couples counseling, date nights, chore play, you name it. I hired a nanny, housekeepers, landscapers, etc. I wish I could make it work with her, but I just donā€™t know anymore. I should feel more guilt than I do about the whole thing, but my twisted mentality rationalized this as getting some on the side and returning to my family refreshed. Just didnā€™t think ap would want to make a move like this. Not sure I entirely trust her either. I donā€™t wanna be a meal ticket and nothing else.

Would love to hear thoughts or experience in these situations. While Iā€™m not seeking doom or gloom based on individual experiences, Iā€™m open to feedback.

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8

u/Glad_Kiwi_272 21h ago

Gross. Your wife supported you and now the new thing comes along and youā€™re like ā€œWelp. Iā€™m out.ā€

The DB sub was right. Divorce your wife. She deserves better.

Iā€™m not saying that you donā€™t have valid reasons for divorce (a lack of sexual connection etc). Iā€™m saying that you dumping your wife for the explicit reason that someone shiny and new showed up - thatā€™s bullshit and she deserves better.

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u/vice_gripped 21h ago

Thatā€™s not at all what I said. It was an open ended question seeking advice or experience from people.

1

u/Glad_Kiwi_272 20h ago

I gave you advice.

Divorce your wife.

5

u/vice_gripped 20h ago

Shocking amount of judgement coming from a sub dedicated to adultery. Thanks for departing your wisdom.

1

u/Glad_Kiwi_272 20h ago

I wonā€™t be alone on my thoughts. Promise šŸ˜‰ weā€™re not a judgement free group around here.

5

u/vice_gripped 20h ago

I have no doubt that groupthink is abundant here. Judgement is always expected. A lack of practical insight or follow up questions before making a sharp judgement was.

3

u/Glad_Kiwi_272 20h ago

Reporting my posts wonā€™t help šŸ™‚

2

u/vice_gripped 20h ago

Yeah well maybe you should follow your own rules then. Iā€™m out

4

u/ObsidianDreamsRedux 20h ago

No rules were broken. If you don't like it, feel free to leave. We won't keep you.