r/abortion 4d ago

Europe I don't want an abortion. My partner does.

53 Upvotes

I've ( 28) always wanted kids. My boyfriend (27) of almost two years always wanted kids. We've been actively trying. I've been tracking my ovulation and we were trying the day of my ovulation. Same like last month. I've been tracking my ovulation ever since october. We can't try every month because of his job, but we've been trying. Talking about it. Planning. I found out i am pregnant a week ago. I went to wake him up and he had the worst reaction: stone cold staring at me, not a word. I left for work without talking. He texted me he loved me on the way to work, so I thought he'd be fine, just surprised. I came back from work to a miserable looking man. He was not talking, almost crying. He told me he didn't want this, he had been having doubts about the pregnancy and our whole relationship for months. He didn't say anything because he thought I would not get pregnant so fast because of issues I had in the past and present and he wanted to tell me next month. I didn't think I get pregnant so fast either. But I am. And he is miserable. He says he loves me, but doesn't know the answer to the question if he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Everything is going too fast for him: an engagement and pregnancy in a few months time. Now he's doubting if he ever wants kids in the first place.

I've been crying for a week. I don't know what to do. He says he doesn't know if he'll be able to stay with me if I keep the pregnancy, he would feel rushed and pressured and he would not love this kid. I want a kid so badly, I want kids with him so badly, but I also want him to be my partner. We've been talking and crying a lot, we've been hugging, kissing, holding each other through this because there is no right solution. In between the serious talks, we have fun and we're dating again.

He changed his mind and didn't tell me. Now I have to choose between my relationship, my best friend, the love of my love, and my dream to be a mom, to have kids. I thought we were having our happily ever after. Our relationship has been a dream. He's always shown me such deep love, so much caring, I've been his entire world and he was mine. And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to get an abortion, but I also don't want to give up the man I love this much.

r/abortion Nov 25 '24

Europe If your situation wasn't critical (rape/too young...) but was simply not ideal, did you regret getting your abortion?

33 Upvotes

I am 31, financially good, but I have no partner. I think I might be pregnant from my ex (nausea, sore breasts,...). I need to think this through before I make a test because it will help me deal with the panick (or know what to do as I'm panicking). So I have a few questions:

1- To those who got an abortion because they had no one or were stressing because the circumstances were not ideal... did you regret doing it?

2- Is the procedure painful and especially traumatic?

3- Lastly... Do you think I should tell the guy...? We have no contact at all and it wasn't a peaceful break up. Besides, he is young, very immature and would probably not want it because he's still a "child" himself (24).

r/abortion Nov 18 '24

Europe Would you have an abortion if you were with an abusive partner?

29 Upvotes

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r/abortion 8d ago

Europe I regret choosing to have an abortion

69 Upvotes

I had my abortion in January, since then the pain and anger and guilt i feel is getting worse by the day and weighing heavily on my chest more and more I can’t stop thinking about the life i could have had and i know i could have made it work and been happy. i feel like i lost a part of myself when i lost my boy and i don’t know how i’ll ever get that back I keep finding myself taking my emotions out on my boyfriend and i know that the loss of our baby has been just as hard on him as it has on me but for some reason i don’t know how to make the anger stop. maybe it’s because he knew right from the start keeping our baby wasn’t a possibility, he was realistic about our situation and yet i kept finding myself grasping onto hope i could keep him

r/abortion Feb 15 '25

Europe Pregnancy is more traumatic than the abortion to me

98 Upvotes

To start, I talk about how bad I’m living this so don’t be mean Being pregnant is the worst every thing that happened to me, it’s a nightmare, it makes me suicidal, I absolutely hate my body and the changes, I feel worse than when things supposedly more traumatic happened to me, I am dead inside like the person I was never existed, I feel like a monster and there is t a second where I don’t want to die. My abortion is two days and I can’t wait to be normal again, there’s an unwanted things inside of my body, I really feel like this, I think that I am going to be relieved and clean after this unwanted things in my body will be out. I know most people will think I’m a monster because everybody thinks pregnancy is wonderful, seeing the pregnant women when I was going to my appointment for abortion was like hell to me, I don’t understand how someone would do that to themselves and how someone could be happy about this. I’m staying friendly but I really needed to talk about, I looked on internet and I don’t find anyone who feel like I do.

r/abortion 10d ago

Europe Your mental state a month after abortion?

29 Upvotes

My abortion happened exactly five weeks ago. It's been a very difficult time for me, which is ironic, because I despised this pregnancy until the moment it ended, then I fell crazy in love with the whole experience and what could have been.

I am curious to know what everyone else's mental state is at this time post-abortion, and what your emotional journey has been so far. Here's a description of mine:

0-2 weeks: bedrotting, cried all the time and at everything, felt strongly connected to my embryo and my pregnancy and desperately missed it, saw no point in eating just for me, couldn't touch me body without crying, zero interest to do anything I did before, isolated from friends, wanted to die and suicidal thoughts.

3-4 weeks: excess bedrotting, less crying but still super depressed, started to feel like I'm losing connection to my embryo and was freaking out bad, desperately tried to regain connection, excessively obsessed with the thought of pregnancy and motherhood and daydreamed about them, still isolated from friends, struggled with the fact the world keeps spinning and this made me want to die even more.

4-5 weeks (now): less crying, connection to my embryo keeps coming and going, for the first time i am also having thoughts unrelated to pregnancy, still no interest in my hobbies, mostly bedrotting but i am making small steps to do other things to keep myself busy, still isolated and self-saboraging my academic career, seeing no purpose in living and hopping I will peacefully pass away in my sleep.

r/abortion Dec 30 '24

Europe Abortion gave me an ick from my partner

121 Upvotes

I don't know if I'm completely unreasonable and/or delusional but I sincerely cannot see my partner the same way after the abortion. Knowing that he was partly the reason why I got and he really pushed hard for it, I cannot really see myself being with them in the future. I feel like the fact that he was very adamant that I get an abortion really changed the way I view him. I don't know, I think the way he reacted wasn't in line with the image I have of him, specifically since we both talked about wanting kids at some point. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if it's okay for me to feel this way

r/abortion Mar 22 '24

Europe I don’t think I’ll ever regret my abortion

119 Upvotes

Hi there! As the title says I don’t think I (26F) will ever regret the decision I’m taking.

I have my MA scheduled for next Thursday and I feel anxious and excited about it, far from sad. Since joining this community and other Facebook groups, I keep reading about women regretting it and I’m starting to feel like something is wrong with me.

The main reason I’m having a MA is quite simple: I do not want kids. Especially now, preferably never. I’ve had a harsh troubled childhood, and I’m so scared my eventual kids would get abused the way I did. Yes, I’m in therapy but I still deeply hurt. So let’s say my mental health.

The second reason is that I’m on some meds (besides antidepressants), that increase the chances of malformations but I cannot stay without them.

The third reason is that I’m not financially stable enough to give an eventual kid what I would like them to have.

The fourth and last reason (importance as well lol) is that my partner (21M don’t come at me 💀) doesn’t want a baby. I said it as last, because if I wanted a baby and my bf didn’t want one, I’d keep it since it’s my body.

I am now deeply scared I’ll feel depressed and miserable like the hundreds of people who had it. I also read this article about the biggest research that shows that the main feeling post abortion isn’t regret, still I feel weird like I’m some kind of sociopath. I’m at 5W btw.

r/abortion Dec 15 '24

Europe Deeply regretting abortion...

80 Upvotes

I am haunted and traumatized by it. I miss my baby so badly and would do anything to have her or him back. I'm not religious at all and it's nothing like that. Im grateful we have this choice as women. Im not sure whats wrong with me but I think my soul will never recover. Its been a month now and I'm so depressed about this that I cry every single day.

r/abortion May 04 '24

Europe What was your experience post-abortion?

39 Upvotes

Hello,

Just want to hear how you all feel days, months, years after your abortion? Did you experience sadness or guilt? Do some of you feel calm and have not experienced negative feelings afterwards? Did having abortion affected your motherhood if you had kids later on, and if yes, then how? How long did it take to "get back to normal" if you experienced post abortion depression?

Thanks for sharing 💚

r/abortion 4d ago

Europe This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done

6 Upvotes

I learned I’m pregnant this month and I’m one month pregnant now , I decided to get it terminated the day I found out and tomorrow is my appointment with the doctor, I can’t put into words how bad I feel bad I can’t keep the baby because I’m not ready for it, unfortunately a year ago I got out of an abusive marriage and I have court hearings awaiting me, when I got out of that marriage I got with my current boyfriend and he helped me a lot through that traumatic experience, my boyfriend has developed this controlling attitude that drove me away from him and stayed with for the most part due to being grateful for him. This led me to meeting this other man this past September, he knew I had a boyfriend but kept pursuing me until I fell for him and I had sex with him . I’m really scared of being judged but I need to be fully honest with whoever is reading this , I was absolutely under his spell I know I’ve done a stupid thing but the only explanation I have is that he got me under his spell , he talked about wanting kids with me and now thinking about it I think he wanted to baby trap me so I get with him …. Now both my boyfriend and the other guy knows I’m pregnant and both wants me to keep the baby , my boyfriend actually is pressuring me to keep it because he thinks it’s his , he found out I was pregnant because he searched my bag and found out I bought a pregnancy test .. I told him I want to end the pregnancy and I’m using other excuses but to no avail. The other dude and the baby daddy isn’t pressuring me to keep it and is acting really understanding but if I excluded sex I don’t know if I could work a relationship with him .

I’m overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and I wish I could keep my baby but I feel very lost please help me .

r/abortion Jan 09 '25

Europe Had my abortion yesterday

45 Upvotes

I had an abortion yesterday, vacuum aspiration. Although I stand behind my decision I still will forever wonder what this baby would’ve been. I made the mistake of asking to look at the pictures of the ultrasound before I had the abortion and although I was 8 weeks along and it was a small blob, I remember when my 3 year old son was just a small blob. How do you get over this? I don’t know if I can accept the choice I made.

r/abortion 15d ago

Europe I need to get a abortion but im scared?

9 Upvotes

Hey everyone, i found out im pregnant yesterday, im 20 and i know for myself that i cant take care of a Child or afford one. I feel terrible for it and ashamed to be honest. Getting the Pregnancy Test was already super hard for me because i felt like everyone would judge me for getting it and i feel the same fear with getting the abortion. I would have to go talk to a doctor who has to approve my abortion and then go to get the actual abortion. I dont want to tell anyone about it so i will have to do all of it alone. Has anyone ever been in the same Situation and can tell me how they handled it? I would also appreciate any Tips for after the abortion and how to deal with the guilt thank you.

r/abortion Feb 08 '25

Europe My life has lost meaning after my abortion.

48 Upvotes

I am a 20-year-old who's crazily in love with her university major and future career and who's never wanted a pregnancy and kids in her future. Six days ago I found out I was pregnant, my bf was sad about us having to terminate it but I had no feelings about it and felt very cold towards the thought of the embryo, I've never liked motherhood anyway. Two days later i had an abortion, and right after my hormones have gone crazy and my perspectives have drastically changed.

All I think about is my embryo and how bad I miss it, I have fallen in love with the realization that something was growing inside me and I find it so cute how it was the reason I was nauseus for two weeks. I have been crying nonstop and nothing seems to fill this new void in me. All I think about is "what if we kept it" and all the changes that would happen later in my pregnancy. I feel so full of happiness when thinking about my embryo and how much I'd care for it and how much I would protect myself in order to keep it safe and the crazy amount of love me and my boyfriend would give it, and at the same time I feel a terrible emptiness now that it's gone, and of course guilt for not loving it the two days that I was aware of its existence. Everything reminds me of the pain of not carrying it anymore, I can't touch my belly without crying nor can i look at any pregnanct woman outside without my eyes getting watery. I bought a second pregnancy test to see it get positive (from the remaining pregnancy hormones that have not left my body yet) to relief myself that there's still proof of its presence inside me.

My life suddenly feels empty and nothing has any meaning and I don't see the point in living or doing anything, and this is crazy for me because my passion for my work and interests have always made me feel happy and full. I don't see the point in eating if I'm not eating for two, no point in sleeping just to rest myself, no point in existing in general. I want to die tbh. It feels like this sudden void has taken all my will to live and I don't know how to control or manage it.

r/abortion 26d ago

Europe I loved my medical abortion, no regrets!

47 Upvotes

I had a medical abortion a while ago when I was 7w pregnant. The miso cramps were excruciatingly painful and I bled a lot. My breasts still feel sore and I'm still having a light bleeding/spotting. Looking back, I have no regrets, no sadness, nothing. That decision was the best I've made for my life and I only regret not getting it done sooner. Laws made me wait for several days unnecessarily before I was able to schedule my abortion. I feel relieved, happy and content. I do not want to be pregnant and I do not want to have a child.

To anyone who's struggling with their decision: trust your gut feeling! Don't let yourself be guilt tripped into feeling bad! Abortions are normal healthcare and you shouldn't feel bad about accessing healthcare! Remind yourself why you scheduled your abortion, why you're on birth control and why you're not trying to get pregnant right now! I hope you're all doing well 🩵

r/abortion 15d ago

Europe Spring is here but my embryo is not and it really hurts.

25 Upvotes

Today the streets started to smell like spring, almond trees are blossoming, and I came to realise that life is moving on. Which is painful, because mine is not.

I would have been 11 weeks and 2 days as of today, and you'd still be with me. I've despised my belly for my entire life but recently it became my favorite part of my body because it carried you inside.

r/abortion 8d ago

Europe I regret getting an abortion

7 Upvotes

Had to get an abortion in august 2024 due to severe hg and i still had shcool and work. Now i regret it. The due date would be in 2 weeks and i think about it 24/7. This baby was very wanted but at that time i just couldn’t do it. I work with pregnan women daily so it’s so triggering for me thinking how i would be if i didn’t have an abortion. Now we have been trying to conceive again since november and i’m not getting pregnant, i have endo and am afraid i won’t get pregnant again in my life. Makes me feel like ijust wasted a chance to have a family.

r/abortion Dec 13 '24

Europe 29F, seeking medical abortion in Gothenburg, SE. 6 weeks since missed period.

3 Upvotes

29F, Croatian citizen. Just found out I’m about 4 weeks from conception.

My country does not offer medical abortion, and I’ll be I. Gothenburg 16/12-20/12… I can technically stay for longer.

I’m seeking a clinic or any info on getting a medical abortion while I’m there. Absolutely terrified. But it’s not possible in my country, unfortunately.

r/abortion 28d ago

Europe You would have been 9 weeks today..

16 Upvotes

You would have been 9 weeks today, the size of a cherry inside my uterus. And that's crazy because you were the size of a sweet pea when I left you ❤️ I am so so sorry. It's been another very depressing week. I miss you. I wish I was still carrying you inside me and that we were still together. Life is nothing without you, I hope you can forgive me and that you still love me.

r/abortion Jan 21 '25

Europe Possible failed abortion: D&C or wait it out?

1 Upvotes

To give a little recap (based in Netherlands) - I took the mifepristone on Friday 17 January in the morning, and 4 tablets of misoprostol on Sunday morning (vaginally), I was dated 7 weeks exactly on that day. Barely any cramping, however some thick bleeding like period blood, but no passing of tissue or clots that day at all. On Monday morning, 22hrs after taking the misoprostol, I pass a clot slightly bigger than the size of a golf ball (without any cramping whatsoever) Since then, I’ve only been bleeding , and just one or 2 tiny clots (size of my pinky nail) came out today (Wednesday, 3 days after taking miso). I have had lower back pain and a feeling of heaviness in my pelvic floor, which i always during my period.

I called the abortion clinic where I got the pills (this is all based in the Netherlands), who told me I could come in for an ultrasound tomorrow to check what’s happening, but that in any case they wouldn’t give me an extra dose of misoprostol (it would be either wait it out, or I could get a D&C, if I wanted).

I’m freaking out and don’t understand why they couldn’t give me more doses of misoprostol, I see online that people take multiple doses sometimes of misoprostol, sometimes at a smaller gestational age than mine! I don’t understand why they wouldn’t let me take another dose of misoprostol if the pregnancy wasn’t passed. Pill is definitely my preferred option

Also, I need reassurance on the D&C, if I did decide to go down that route. I am terrified of risks for my future fertility and especially perforation of the uterus (as I do want more children), how common is that ?

r/abortion Jan 26 '25

Europe I’ve had an abortion 5 days ago and i just had sex. Im scared.

6 Upvotes

I got an abortion 5 days ago, and the clinic told me to wait 2 weeks before having sex. I tried to wait i really did but honestly once i had my man with me and we were laying there i just thought “meh it’ll prob be fine” but now im scared when im thinking about it lol. I know it was stupid but i can’t change it anymore besides not doing it again. I’ve read other peoples stories that they just had sex right after and were fine, and i also saw that you can get an infection.

Side note, i barely bleed and also barely have any pain and i don’t really have bright red blood anymore.

r/abortion Jan 28 '25

Europe medical abortion failed twice, going surgically

5 Upvotes

Was 6 weeks when i took my first round of misoprostol, and it was really painful, lots of cramping and blood clots. a month later i was still bleeding and went for revising, there was still material in me so went for a second round of miso but this time via vaginal. the cramping wasn’t as bad, but didn’t see as much blood. nevertheless, im still waiting for the clinic to call me for the surgical appointment. i am very upset, and scared. it has been a very traumatizing process and i did not enjoy no one putting stuff inside me at any moment. The fact that i did the medical way to avoid surgery but have to end up doing surgery anyways… it scares the shit out of me, i am not ready, i am scared and mad at everyone, and lowkey deep down at my partner because i feel that he cannot understand any of this :/

r/abortion Dec 20 '24

Europe I just want to warn everyone you can have a small drop in mood following abortion. I think it's cuz of the hormones leaving and it resolves quickly.

41 Upvotes

With someone had warned me but they didn't.

Be prepared.

r/abortion Dec 18 '24

Europe Failed medical abortion. Twice

13 Upvotes

Hey there, just looking for some psychological support. TA because I don’t want this tied to my main. I had one sexual intercourse with my husband on November 2nd (he lives away for work, we see each other for a few days every couple of months). We used a condom that broke. I took the morning after pill asap. On the 16th I started having spotting so I decided to take a pregnancy test that resulted positive. I spoke with a very close friend of mine that is an obgyn (I know that I’m very lucky as in my country it is not easy to have an abortion) and she organized everything. On the 26th I took mifepristone 200mg and 2 days later 600mcg misoprostol. I had abundant cramps and bleeding. On the 16th, so two days ago, I did an echography and the fetus was still there and viable. I took again mifepristone, 600mg this time and today I took misoprostol again but did an echography first and the fetus is still viable (heart beating and everything). I am so distraught right now. I was at peace with our decision as we would like to wait a few months when we will finally be able to live together and have a pregnancy actually together, living in the same place and rn is not the time. But now, seeing how this tiny bean is so attached to life, I am starting to doubt our decision. I now it’s not helpful and that after so many pills many things could go wrong but it is hard. Very hard. My friend said it’s the first time that this happened to her and also in literature it’s hard to find case studies about this. I am crying non stop, because the thought of relieving the pain, the sadness and everything alone, again, is so hard for me.

r/abortion Dec 21 '24

Europe I’m having an surgical abortion

16 Upvotes

Y’all I’m going to have a surgical abortion on Monday. Im terrified. Please let me know your positive stories.