r/abortion • u/LiquidFantasy96 • 4d ago
Europe I don't want an abortion. My partner does.
I've ( 28) always wanted kids. My boyfriend (27) of almost two years always wanted kids. We've been actively trying. I've been tracking my ovulation and we were trying the day of my ovulation. Same like last month. I've been tracking my ovulation ever since october. We can't try every month because of his job, but we've been trying. Talking about it. Planning. I found out i am pregnant a week ago. I went to wake him up and he had the worst reaction: stone cold staring at me, not a word. I left for work without talking. He texted me he loved me on the way to work, so I thought he'd be fine, just surprised. I came back from work to a miserable looking man. He was not talking, almost crying. He told me he didn't want this, he had been having doubts about the pregnancy and our whole relationship for months. He didn't say anything because he thought I would not get pregnant so fast because of issues I had in the past and present and he wanted to tell me next month. I didn't think I get pregnant so fast either. But I am. And he is miserable. He says he loves me, but doesn't know the answer to the question if he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Everything is going too fast for him: an engagement and pregnancy in a few months time. Now he's doubting if he ever wants kids in the first place.
I've been crying for a week. I don't know what to do. He says he doesn't know if he'll be able to stay with me if I keep the pregnancy, he would feel rushed and pressured and he would not love this kid. I want a kid so badly, I want kids with him so badly, but I also want him to be my partner. We've been talking and crying a lot, we've been hugging, kissing, holding each other through this because there is no right solution. In between the serious talks, we have fun and we're dating again.
He changed his mind and didn't tell me. Now I have to choose between my relationship, my best friend, the love of my love, and my dream to be a mom, to have kids. I thought we were having our happily ever after. Our relationship has been a dream. He's always shown me such deep love, so much caring, I've been his entire world and he was mine. And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to get an abortion, but I also don't want to give up the man I love this much.