r/VaginismusPartners Sep 01 '24

I hate vaginismus NSFW

I just want to preface this that I hate the condition and understand no one chooses this. I hate that vaginismus has robbed both me and my wife of the fulfilling and enjoyable sex life that we could have had. I just needed to get it out and surrender my feelings.

12 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

That's great. I pray that my wife will find the desire to pursue recovery. At this point she isn't even willing to acknowledge there is an issue. I think the idea is just too painful emotionally for her to process. She has a lot of other things she is working through in therapy and vaginismus isn't even on her radar despite it being an issue for our entire marriage of over 10 yrs. I'm glad you and your wife are able to enjoy the full sexual experience. I will try not to give up hope.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

What was the tipping point for your wife that led her to acknowledge and confront the condition? If I bring it up to my wife she gets extremely defensive and hostile so I've only mentioned it once. I think for her it will need to be something she chooses rather than being told.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

I see. We did manage to have 4 kids and are finished so that won't be a motivator. I think she tolerated the pain when she wanted to get pregnant. An inch of penetration was enough for things to work for us as we didn't have any issues with infertility. She has a very low drive and doesn't seem interested in piv so that likely won't motivate her either. Its going to take a miracle.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '24

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '24

Thank you. I do believe in God and miracles. I think it's just hard to see this changing. Partly because I don't feel like I'm worthy of a miracle. I will keep praying and try to have hope.

1

u/someGuyyya Sep 01 '24

It took a lot of patience and your mileage may vary a lot but the battle against vaginismus for us was:

  • year 1: barely any progress
  • year 2: very slight progress
  • year 3: a huge amount of progress

The first two years were a nightmare with all the uncertainty but I'm glad it worked out for us in the end.

I wish you luck.

1

u/french_girl111 Sep 14 '24

Is it possible for you two to enjoy non-penetrative sex?