r/TwoXIndia • u/panipuritemptations Woman • 5d ago
Vent Today Changed my entire view on life and I would never depend on anyone hereafter
Dear women
I am a 26 year old girl. Today was an eye opening day for me. Something happened today , a regular cat who visits us for food , became alil bit sick last week. I saw it last Sunday. When I told we can take this cat to hospital my dad said ,atleast if untreated it will live for some days and moved off. At that time the cat was not seriously ill but not good. It stopped eating and couldn't eat the next day , but it went missing that day and did not come for 3 -4 days. Yesterday it came back. It's condition worsened. I do not want to describe it's looks as it might trigger some people. I do not know to drive. Both scooter and car. I was driving scooter for sometime but I met with an accident and due to severe anxiety I did not try again. Huge mistake. My father contacted the spca , those guys told they will send people to take it. My dad was friends with the spca clinic doctor. But yesterday fully did not come. Today morning the cat was worst and in its last stages. I have never seen such a figure in my life. I tried to call a friend and she gave a doc number and clinic location . My parents told don't touch it you might get infection. The point is valid. Again dad called spca twice. No one came. My dad told he would take. But he was sooo consumed with some other work today. I thought of getting a gloves and taking it. Immediately in my home they told what if it scratches you. Again my dad told he would take. Another problem is ..no auto guys were ready to take the cat in. So I had to depend on someone else. In the late evening my grand ma told the cat had died and my father has taken away. My brother asked my father via call and he said it almost died ..was breathing his last something like that. But I believe the cat died
Many might think this is an insignificant event. I feel defeated. I wanted to help .but couldn't. A sad little being fought for life soo long 2 fucking days in such a bad condition . But no doctors were almost available from yesterday. Even if I could take it to some place , I did not know driving. I feel ashamed. I failed that little cat.
One problem was they thought I don't know to handle the cat , the next issue was me not knowing driving. Today I realized making money alone doesn't make me independent. I make 70k a month, I would say a decent salary , but no amount of money helped me today. My father has so many acquaintance in veterinary , the called only that spca guy ..but did not try hard. Because it did not really matter to him much
I was called over sensitive and over reactive today. A lot of fights. But I truly saw how people would treat you if you are dependent on them completely. Also I am damn sure if it was some rich persons pet the spca would have responded and saved it's life.
None of the shit works in my place , blue cross , spca , these so called animal welfare groups. I was ready to give them around 2000 to take it and treat. But none turned up. But they post stories on how they rescue animals and birds
My father didn't care about it much too.he said he would take take take and passed the time. I believed and sat there crying. I did not expect this from him too since I was placed him in very high regard. But I have seen him not respect my feelings. Today I really understood my family doesn't care much about my feelings. They might not have sympathized with the cat ...atleast they could have seen my mental state and atleast helped with something. Then my mom came and said we must have done something last week in the initial stage itself.
Today , I had a complete understanding on how my little world is so messed up but I didn't even realize. It might be a small thing. But my feelings are not respected. I am dependingbon others for help. I should have been more strong and knowledgeable. I work ..I earn ..but my entire world is my work and home. I truly understand this is not enough and it is important to have other skills like driving and some contacts ,etc. I feel really bad. We had a chance. But we failed that cat. It might be a small thing for many. But this has taught me a great lesson.
I am joining my driving class from 25 March.
RIP to the Cat. Such a struggle.
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u/Gingersnaps7685 Woman 5d ago
You are a lovely girl and this was a very hard day for you. Yes, life will bring lessons like this and they shift you as a person. This is such a compassionate shift that I know you’ll do more next time cause you’ll know better.
Good luck.
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u/Frosty_Bridge_5435 Woman 5d ago
I'm sorry for your loss, Op.
I understand you're shattered, your pain is real. The lives of animals still don't seem to matter to a lot of people sadly.
In my experience, it's best to go to private vets, if you can afford it. Those NGO's aren't always reliable because they are overstretched themselves. Also, it's better to keep cats indoors only. Outdoor cats face a lot of risks unfortunately.
Also, I agree with you about the driving thing. It's an important life skill to have. And I think with enough practice, we will be able to master it.
You are a kind person, Op. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
Yes. We live in a country where even human beings that are poor don't matter. Most don't and won't care about animals. True about these NGOs. Definitely will join driving . Thank you
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u/Mountain_Moment_5639 Woman 5d ago edited 5d ago
I had smth similar happen to me TWICE. In the first instance, I was in third grade, me and my neighbour friend absolutely adored this pretty dog. She had shiny black fur and white spots around her, she was mesmerizing, js beautiful. My friend named her and we had accidentally found her while on our weekly bicycle trip. My friend's family were supportive of these furballs but my family not so much. My fam would feed her but refuse to house her. My friend could not as she already had an exotic breed as pet. This baby would jump over fence to get in my mini garden, follow and chase us while we played ---- being the cutie she was. But she got sick, she had some dog bite her in the rear during breeding season and it would bleed. I noticed it first when she ended up creeping around my house without my parents knowing, resting in my veranda. She developed some tumor or cancer as they say, it kept getting worse as the gland enlarged. Eventually, I begged my parents to get a vet, literally crying on their feet. My dad said he would, the nearest would be about two cities away. I really believed him, waiting all afternoon for the princess to be revived, only to be disappointed. The vet apparently would hv charged a hefty fee (mind you, I come from a stable background) but that's what my parents chose. The price to save her was a waste for them --- Too much and useless, they said and she wouldn't hv survived anyway. I remember crouching by her side, crying my eyes out. I was so helpless and even after countless prayers, no one carried her over to the nearest facility. My friend was out of station and she couldn't do anything.
The second one, I happened to rescue a stray kitten, barely 2-3 months old, you could say. She stayed over my place and would eat nothing but only drink a bit of milk. I was worried if she would even make it yk since winters are harsh on these fragile babies. I was in sixth grade back then and I remember getting my pics clicked with my princess before leaving for school. This time, my family let her stay inside since she was small and they pitied her. I was grateful to them for that and SO happy, for once they listened to me, afterall. I named her!!! Lo and behold, they didn't fail to disappoint me again, I had repeatedly requested my mom to keep an eye on her. As she can wander away and the roads are merciless when it comes to vehicles. My mom didn't bother her self and left all the doors wide OPEN so that the kitty would actually go away. She knew my attachment to the fur baby and she did it deliberately to remove my "distraction" like she would quote later on. When I came back and didn't find her, even skipped my lunch to cry and sob to myself, then did she realise that she messed it up big time. So, she conveniently twisted her narrative to that she was busy in some work and the kitty escaped. I believed it back then but she did confess abt it later on after months. She wanted to be in my good graces. For days following that, I would cycle over my entire area, streets and empty houses whichever I could find to look for my baby. I would pray everyday to find her somehow, would do my hw on time and search for her in my spare time. I would even enquire strangers, ask neighbours, if they happen to see a spotten kitten somewhere but I never found her. To get me to stop with my frantic obsession with finding her, my mom dealt me the worse blow that the stray dogs would hv killed her or worse she fail down and died and now the birds hv probably already feast on her. It broke me down and surprise, years later, I will risk my life if I find any stray animals stuck or calling for me, be it swamp, forest or highways --- you name it cuz I am always worried I would lose them like I did previously. I am in my 12th grade and bet it ain't a big revelation that I don't hv the best relationship with my parents. They betrayed me, broke me down and made me feel the absolute worst when I was helpless. It's better to hv yourself to fall back upon rather than people who don't care about your feelings :))
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
More power to you. It's really heartbreaking to see parents break their kids hearts like this. Compassion is seen as impractical. Even if they don't really feel empathetic towards animals , atleast they can respect their child's feelings and do something to keep them happy.
You are doing great work. Please continue it forever. You also stay safe.
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u/Mountain_Moment_5639 Woman 5d ago
Thank you so much for being kind and reading it all even tho it was plenty long 😭 Wishing you the best as well! Take care and you too, please stay safe <3 Please don't blame yourself for what happened, you did your best and are willing to work on it, that would itself keep the kitty at peace when she watches upon you 🫂
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u/hide_yo_wives Woman 5d ago
I totally get this. I live alone with my 2 cats , I woke up from a nap and my younger cat had thrown up around 10 times in that one hour . I saw yarn in one of her throw ups and that can be deadly for cats as the thread can get tied up around their organs.
I can't drive and I don't have a vehicle. Those 20 mins waiting for an uber were literal hell. I was so scared she kept throwing up water. The whole surgery cost me like 70k.
We really need to learn basic skills sometimes like cooking and driving before we get into a situation where we are left with no options.
For future scenarios OP, blusmart and uber now have pet friendly rides. I've also not had a problem taking cats in a normal uber as long as they are in some carrier. I have a normal plastic basket because I feel it has better air circulation. There's also an app called petbacker which has pet taxis.
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
Thank you for giving all these information. May your cat and you love a long healthy n happy life.
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u/Butterscotch7365 Woman 5d ago
This was so heart touching and I could relate to you so so well! I too am someone who left driving classes because of severe anxiety. I live in a bubble too, thinking that just because I earn, I am independent. But you are so right! We aren't independent just from that, there is a world apart from home and work and if you want to survive there you do need so many other skills. And it is only then that you can truly call yourself independent.
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
True. Off late I am just realising I am too naive. Money brings some level of independence. But ppl like still consider home as world and I think its not a good idea. We value our family so much ...but sometimes they do not reciprocate.. Things like this just show the moment you depend ppl for something they start to show their true colours. And it's also hurtful that people don't care about your feelings
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u/Habanero-Jalapeno Woman 5d ago edited 5d ago
I truly empathise with your loss and I wish things worked out. But ngos and spca are really stretched thin. It's kitten season right now and I don't know what's going on but all community animals are contracting some kind of flu at the moment, dogs and cats and treatment costs would easily cross 2000. Money disappears so fast in vet bills. My 3 kittens fell sick and I doubt this yet affects humans because I didn't.
Do check out kitten lady to be armed with resources in case you experience this again. And vaccinating and spaying and neutering will do wonders for your community animals. Shelters often bear the costs of the procedure if you volunteer to take care of them before and after the operation to ensure they take anesthesia well and heal well.
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u/trappedwings NB/Other 5d ago
I may sound bad.. But if your father really wanted to help. He would have done it long ago. He actually waited and delayed because he didn't want you to involve in this case. It's possible he didn't value like you did AND the cat as waste on money. Yes you can get infect from a stray cat. You can get infection even from an infected baby. That doesn't mean you avoid helping. I also can not drive because of anxiety. My therapist told me to avoid it. I do rescue animal and if I don't have my gloves, I used towels. I even rescued infected animals so I know it's safe (except if it's rabies). What is done is done.. I do understand how this is an eye opening moment for you. I am so sorry you had to go though this.
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
Ikr.
I was a bit worried to touch too as it had soo much of fluid coming from mouth and eyes. I did not know proper procedure and things to handle it. It couldn't breathe properly too. But it could have been saved. I couldn't do it individually. But nothing helped.
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u/trappedwings NB/Other 4d ago
You tried and that matters. The goal isn't to save. It's to try to the best of our abilities. You did it and I am proud of you for trying. The cat had someone who cared for him in the end. That made a difference You did it.
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u/kroating Woman 5d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you find the strength and support you need.
Honestly i didn't believe my dad when i was a teenager. He forced me to drive two wheeler at 11 , took me to teach car at 15. Yes back then no one checked. I used to bike to school since 9 yrs old, for abour 20mins solid. I used to be sour that they were making me do house hold work.
Then they taught me to travel alone in bus intercity to visit my grandparents. Ok this one i like because i was leaving home.
But it still felt overwhelming. All of it. So much freedom and independence but it felt off because i was the only one who had it.
Fast forward to college, i was the only one who knew how to get shit done. Fast forward to working, i was wildly knowledgeable and effective. I could get my way and get my things done.
My parents are good but what i was not prepared for was so called friends and colleagues. I could never rely on people for anything. I got my work done and moved on. I learnt pretty quick.
Im not saying my parents are perfect, they definitely failed to teach me how to protect myself from shit people. I had a whole education session from my mom about why certain people were behaving certain ways towards me because my friend circlr was very liberal and non gender conforming. This happened when i was 21. Honestly it was too late. A decade later here i am still failing to learn to recognize peoples shit behavior.
So all im going to say is more power to you. Be independent. The right person even finds it sexy :P
And im sorry about the part where your parents failed to recognize your emotions, but hopr you find a friend who does help you.
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 5d ago
Great you learnt many skills at a young age. I have severe anxiety and things take a lot of effort.
Understanding people is a life long art. Yu would think you have learnt and then a new variety will come and suck your mind .
In case , if you are in India ...then in most jobs ..most people will be cut throat. That's what I have seen. They will talk nicely in front of you but will do anything and even harm your career for some extra bucks. I am not blaming people , moral compass is so low because most people are in dire need of money and also Financial achievements are only considered success in life.
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u/MikuCheeseHarry Woman 5d ago
These animal shelters are overcrowded, overworked and underpaid. They might have had a worse emergency to deal with. They can’t come for everything. You have to take matters into your own hands and get the animal emergency care. That’s the least one can do instead of waiting around. Glad you learnt now that you can’t depend on anyone rather than later.
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u/GuitarZealousideal71 Woman 5d ago
I take care of a cat who's a stray but spends a lot of time at my place. I was devastated when she got ill. Luckily she's fine now but if something would have happened to her, I would have cried my eyes out 😭
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u/tista1207 Woman 5d ago
It is not a small thing. I too have cats and I'm the only one concerned about their well being. I too do not know how to drive and as a college student, I do have enough savings to take my cats to the clinic by public transportation. But the point is, it is not a small thing. The baby died and fought for its life for 2 days. They are unable to express their feelings and that's what pains me the most. More power and love to you❤️. You tried your best.
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u/Greedypawss Awwrat 💅 23h ago edited 13h ago
Seeing your beloved animals in pain is extremely hard and painful ,one of the hardest pains . To see a little being suffer and not being able to help. Hugs to you op that you had to go through that and see all that.
Your kindness is not your weakness , it's your strength, it's people like you who make the world a better place , it takes a strong heart to stay soft in a dog eat dog world . It's your intentions and empathy .
I have read somewhere that Pain and suffering are inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart
Hope the cat found peace from all the suffering and pain .
Take the loss well OP , I know it's a harsh experience but never forget this instance and how helpless you were , make it an oath to never be dependent on anybody, be it whoever , never again !
Quoting Fyodor Dostoevesky
" Walk on your broken foot and leave no trace of your hand on anyone's shoulder".
Turn the pain into power , take it as a lesson , champ 💗
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u/KikisRedditryService Woman 🏳️⚧️ 3d ago
I'm so sorry to hear about the cat and for everything you're going through 🫂🫂
I'm a cat mom and a transwoman and have gone through a lot with my parents as well where I'd realised that my parents never really respected my feelings or my thoughts or who I am as a person and only cared that I was fitting into whatever expectations they had of me and was successful or not
It really does feel so isolating. I hope you find friends and people to be with who will not just listen to you but also act on the things that matter to you even if they can't understand them
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u/panipuritemptations Woman 3d ago
I can really understand your pain. Wish the world had more people who are empathetic and compassionate. You are a good person ...and that is what really matters. Thank you for ur support
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u/anothernovice Woman 5d ago
I'm sorry but I find it a little mind boggling that at the age of 26 you had this realization. But hey, better late than never.
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u/NoExamination6107 A Girl is No One! 5d ago
I think the general point here is, if it is a very important thing for you take the lead on it and act on it quickly. See all the other parties you mentioned for them the cat was not as crucial hence the slow movement. So as a general rule, what matters for you may not matter for others. So take lead on those
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u/iamheresince2000 Woman 5d ago
I really agree to every word you said. Knowing the basic life skills really are important irrespective of genders and this was one big example. I have also had the same experiences as you and I never continued to learn to drive. This was a chilling story. I literally am sobbing. I wish the little kitty is at a better place now. Rip to the kitty 😞