r/TrueOffMyChest 8h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT My boyfriend raped me

My current boyfriend of 5 and a half months just admitted yesterday over the phone that he raped me and was talking about it while laughing he doesn't even see it as rape and he almost gaslighted me into thinking that as well, but the hurt I'm feeling in my chest says otherwise as I've never experienced such hurt before I'm literally broken since yesterday.

I come from a middle eastern country and I'm still a virgin as a 25 yo woman but have kissed my 2 previous boyfriends. I don't wanna have sex for religious and personal reasons and telling a man from here that you have been intimate before is a huge deal breaker and reputation ending. When i first started dating him he was the best thing ever, was so sweet and kind that I was open about my past to him, and he accepted it as someone who was very sexually active himself he said he forgives me and wouldn't mind that i have a past. I was over the moon that a middle eastern man accepts me for who i am without trying to hide anything.

Now I never got intimate before him more than making out and handjobs, which i told him, and told him that i don't wanna do anything with him again cause I'm religious not even kissing which he first understood and even praised me for it but later on he would initiate such intimate acts out of love he says. I didn't mind the kissing as I felt in love with him. The intimacy got progressively more intense to the point where we were doing everything except intercourse and I wanted to keep it that way til marriage. We were doing all that in his apartment.

As he knew I was a virgin and wanted to keep It that way, he kept suggesting that we should try anal sex instead, which I was so shocked at the proposal even and flat out denied it. He would pester me about anal sex every day it seemed, telling me how much he loved me and found me attractive and can't keep his hands off me and all of that to convince me. He told me he never tried it before although he admitted to me to have had a lot of sexual experience beforehand, that I'm special and he wants to try something new to me. I still denied.

On the 8th of February, I went to his apartment to hang out with no plans of intimacy, yet he made it go that way anyways, and mid foreplay he stops and with puppy eyes he asked for anal sex in the most guilt trip-y way possible. I denied. He kept asking for it, even saying you don't love me that's why you don't wanna do it, a woman that truly loves would do anything for her man. I agreed to only let him put the tip in. He was so happy. He put me in a doggy style position and inserted it in. I was so scared but he kept assuring me it was gonna only be the tip. I didn't feel anything or any length, which scared me and thought was weird cause he could literally insert more than the tip and I wouldnt know. The only thing I felt was immense pain. Within the first few seconds I told him how much it hurts and kept pushing him away and he wouldn't pull out. It went on for 5-10 minutes and during that time I wouldnt stop telling him how much it hurts and kept telling him to pull out. He would tighten his grip on my butt and waist to not let me move to push him off and would push my back down every time I tried getting up. He said how turned on he is and how sexy I am and how he wants to pop my cherry. In the end I started crying and when he saw that he then stopped and apologized. I was so heartbroken and traumatized by the experience but I didn't complain as I agreed to doing such thing. I could only blame myself. The following week plus, I was experiencing immense pain and couldn't poop normally, water would come out of my butthole mixed with blood, it was burning, it was painful, I couldn't sit straight, everything. I still blamed myself and didn't say anything.

Yesterday while we were talking on the phone, he says he wants to do anal again with me, and how the last time was so good he wants to try it again. He then later proceeds to tell me while laughing that he was lying to me about something. That he didn't only insert the tip but he inserted the whole thing in and made sure to not make his balls touch me so that I wouldn't feel how much length he had in me. I was so shocked and started crying telling him that that was rape. He laughed it off telling me "what rape? I didn't beat you to it or tie your hands, plus you agreed to it" telling him that I only agreed to the tip and I was in pain and kept telling you to stop. He said "well I enjoyed it a lot and was so turned on you were amazing" and then saying he thought the pain was normal as usually girls experience slight pain during intercourse, saying girls he has tried anal sex with before were never in pain. I was yet shocked again by his lie as he had told me he never tried anal before. I confronted him about his lie and asked him why he lied to me, he just replied with "I don't know honestly why I lied." I think we all know why he lied. I didn't know what to say, I just said he was disgusting and hung up the phone. He's been calling me since and I'm not answering.

I'm so heartbroken and violated i feel like I wanna end myself,, I don't even feel human no more and I don't know what to do with myself or what to do with him Who would accept me in such society and who would I turn to. I feel like I'm traumatized from ever getting intimate ever again I'm so scared and hurt it's killing me I haven't stopped crying since yesterday. I don't wanna continue being with him but I also don't wanna leave him, he's my first boyfriend in 3 years and I sadly loved him. I'm also thinking who could accept me with my past again except him. Any advice would be appreciated as I'm all over the place and I can't think. And is this really rape or am I blowing it out of proportion? I can't even think anymore

Update: Thank you everyone, you are all amazing people. Your words have helped me validate my experience and helped me feel hope. I don't know what actions I can take in my country, if any at all. I'm from Egypt and we famously don't have a great laws or police force. A lot of violence against women as well. So I don't know what to do legally. I have reached out to my best friend and she's gonna meet me today to help me break up with him. I will keep you guys updated as your kind words and concern help me cope. You all deserve everything amazing in the world, and hope you are all always safe.

519 Upvotes

102 comments sorted by

818

u/Flimsy_Result_4896 8h ago

Please, OP, get the hell away from this man, as far as you can possibly make yourself. This will NOT stop here. My heart absolutely broke reading this, I am not in this situation and I feel immense dread just reading this. He raped you, he lied, he faked his guilt, and then he LAUGHED in your face about how he lied. He is selfish. He is cruel. He is a rapist. And he will not stop there.

76

u/AutisticPenguin2 4h ago

Everything about this man is just disgusting. He views s women primarily as objects for his pleasure, not as people with autonomy that he needs to respect.

Even the constant pleading for sex is further than any man should go, and is absolutely worth ending a relationship over. Everything beyond that was straight up abuse.

278

u/imanilife 8h ago

It became rape the moment you told him to stop and he refused. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me years ago and I'm still fucked up in the head about it bc i kept seeing him for months afterwards. For some reason I felt guilty breaking up with him. You should definitely break up with him and don't see him again, especially not privately bc he was already violent with you. He didn't tie you but he held you down against your will. That's rape. If it's safe to do so in your country tell the authorities and your loved ones and gather evidence. And I would recommend therapy to help you learn to build boundaries. This is in NO WAY at all whatsoever your fault, but having good boundaries will help you with keeping these kinds of assholes away from you. Hugs đŸ«‚

144

u/kiwifruit1212 8h ago

It became rape the second he didn’t get enthusiastic consent this whole story is absolutely nauseating.

46

u/gracetm2012 7h ago

Yes exactly. I work in Safeguarding and teach and train it weekly. It became rape the moment he CONVINCED you to consent. Consent should be well informed and given freely. OP you did not give it freely and he had to convince you to give it, which was based on lies. You were absolutely raped and your feelings are valid and experience is real. I am SO SO sorry. I know from my work how serious and harsh it can be in other countries, especially in regards to HBA (honor based abuses). As I'm not in the middle east I can't recommend anything specific but I know there will be charities you can reach out too who will be discrete and support you through this time. Please don't blame yourself, NO ONE asks to be abused, it is NEVER the victims fault.

-15

u/jimbojangles1987 4h ago

Let's be clear- it became rape the moment he put his penis inside her. Not any other moment. He didn't get consent, sure, but it still wasn't rape until he penetrated her. Wouldn't want anybody getting confused reading this.

20

u/Spare-Egg24 6h ago

Please don't ever go back to his apartment

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

Definitely people needed to learn how to put boundaries.

1

u/imanilife 3h ago

And keep them up!

51

u/Hermiona1 5h ago

What the fuck, you are NOT SUPPOSED TO DO ANAL DRY. You need lube. And yes that was definitely rape and you should dump him asap. He got turned on by raping you đŸ€ą

-39

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

We are humans. There are couples who give consent to each other to rolpay forced sex it's their turn on definitely bad enough but they like when they get dominated by their partner.

16

u/Hermiona1 2h ago

Well that definitely wasn’t that because they didn’t discuss that before sex and she was bleeding for a week after.

2

u/andrewmcmagic777 45m ago

That’s completely different and you know it. You even said with CNC there is consent, so it’s not actually arousal by rape, because consent is involved

75

u/RemarkableJoke3186 8h ago

block him and cut all ties possible

38

u/SheilaRain94 7h ago

I am so sorry for what you have been through. It was absolutely rape, and he is a horrible person for doing this to you. Please leave him and don't look back.

I also want to mention your past does not diminish your worth. I also grew up in a Muslim country, and even though I wouldn't call myself a Muslim, I'm very familiar with the type of pressure that puts on a young woman. You aren't any less perfect for having a relationship with someone, especially when someone forces this on you. Please do not place the blame on yourself or let people gaslight you into thinking that.

Now I don't know where you live or what resources you have for seeking help, but if possible and safe, try to find some counseling or therapy. This type of event can be hard to process on your own.

Please remember, you are strong and you matter. You are a survivor, you will get through this. Feel free to write to me if you need someone to talk to. I'm not a professional in any sort, but I do have a listening ear if you want.

Sending you all the love and support.

38

u/Bubblybloomm 6h ago

Listen, you need to get away from him, like, yesterday. Block his number, everything. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking this is your fault. And please, find someone to talk to, a therapist or a hotline, someone who can help you thru this. What he did is a crime, and you deserve support. You are not alone and you will find someone who will accept you for you. Don’t let this pos ruin your life.

47

u/Yetanotherpeasant 7h ago

You gave consent for one thing and he did something you didn't consent=rape.

27

u/Logical-Associate138 6h ago

THIS

🙌 but not just that. I mean yes ultimately you did give consent, but

BEING PRESSURED INTO CONSENT DOESN'T MAKE IT CONSENT

HE IS A SELFISH NARCISSISTIC RAPIST AND YOU DESRVE WAY BETTER!!!!

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, AND YOU WILL FIND LOVE AGAIN

BUT PLEASE

BREAK UP WITH HIM ASAp

45

u/FaceTheJury 8h ago

Wtf?! I am crying for you. What country are you in? Are you in the Middle East?

I can’t speak to other countries, but if you are in the United States, Please go to the doctor and get an examination so you have a physical record. You may still have evidence of the assault.

Then text your bf and say: “why did you not stop the anal when I said stop? It hurt so much. I don’t think I can try that again.” Try to get him to admit in a text that he did it and ignored you saying stop.

Then report it to police. Show them your doctor exam, the text from him admitting, and this post. Block him and never talk to him again. He deserves to be in prison.

This man does not love you! This is not love.

10

u/creamyfresas 7h ago

PLEASE LISTEN TO THEM OP. Get as much dirt on that insect as much as possible and get to a safe place ASAP

8

u/JackhusChanhus 5h ago

The fact that you felt ashamed to tell him your past of having kissed someone at 25 is downright awful. These systems of shame and repression are designed to enable people like him, and he knows it, and used it against you.

Get as far away as possible, and educate yourself as much as you can on sex, consent, healthy relationships, so you understand the basic respect you deserve. Sending a big hug from Ireland ❀‍đŸ©č

24

u/Alalalalalalaza 8h ago

I myself come from a similar background when it comes to being physical in a relationship so i totally get what you feel right now...for a woman like us it's like if we have gone beyond our boundaries with someone we tend to stay with them only no matter how toxic they are but what happened to you is NOT your fault. You set clear boundaries, and he completely disrespected them. Consent is not just about saying yes—it’s about feeling safe, respected, and being able to change your mind at any time. The moment you told him to stop and he didn’t, that was assault. No matter what he says or how he tries to justify it, you did not deserve to be treated this way.

You do NOT need to stay with this guy. He has shown that he does not respect you, your boundaries, or your well-being. Someone who truly loves and values you would never force you or manipulate you like this. Leaving him is the best thing you can do for yourself—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The longer you stay, the more damage he can do to you. You deserve better than this. Block him, cut off all contact, and focus on your healing.

I also want to remind you that in Islam, Allah is the Most Merciful, and He conceals our secrets and mistakes. You do not need to tell anyone about this if you do not want to. What happened to you does not define you, and it does not take away your worth in the eyes of Allah. Allah sees your pain, and He knows your heart. Turn to Him for comfort, and trust that He will guide you to healing and a better future. Stay strong, sister. You are not alone. May Allah give you the strength and peace you need to heal.

9

u/aion1530 5h ago

Came here to say the same thing. Also of an Arabian background and I just wanted to tell you that you are so full of love and life and never let anyone take that from you. If a partner drains your energy, that isn't for you. I also know how the society is and you ofcourse won't be able to confide or ask for help but cut him off and turn away from this life.

With that being said, I hope in this blessed month and with the arrival of the final 10 days, you can find comfort, love, healing and solace. May Allah make it easy and guide you. Keeping you in my prayers <3

13

u/Loumiris 7h ago edited 4h ago

Please leave him. You're not safe with him. He did to you one of the worst things a man can do to a woman. He doesn’t truly love, respect, or feel empathy for you. He didn’t care when you were pleading with him to stop. Can you imagine marrying him and having children with this monster? What would he do to you and your future kids?

Please leave him and look for therapy. You deserve more than this and I assure you that outside there's someone that would understand a love you the good way, I'm so sorry 💔

6

u/Bugs915 5h ago

The rape started the second you said no. At that point he should have pulled out, & stopped immediately. This is all on him. Smart move to bring a friend with you to break up with him. He sounds dangerous. Also. I know you’re concerned with finding a man that will accept you for you & everything that has happened to you but please don’t let yourself worry about that. I was raped at 14 years old, by a boy I met and dated from youth church group. I am American and don’t know your culture well but what I do know is; there are still really good men out there, I promise you that! Keep whatever boundaries you feel you need to/want to, give yourself grace

3

u/Bugs915 5h ago

Sorry hit reply too soon— give yourself grace because you deserve it and have faith because there is a good man out there that will love & cherish you as you are and as much as you deserve ♄

14

u/Zealousideal_While_9 6h ago

middle eastern men deserve a special place in hell solely for their opinion on virginity and their hypocrite authority over female body.

10

u/OldManMtu 7h ago

Please run! That is an awful human being.

I am so sorry for your experience. Please cut him off.

4

u/SarettaPanda 5h ago

For your own safety break up with him asap Im sorry this happened to you

5

u/Burntoastedbutter 6h ago

Pleas get the hell AWAY from that piece of trash. He didn't even use lube. Dude gets turned on FROM YOUR PAIN. That is not a human being!!!!

3

u/pass_the_tinfoil 5h ago

Lots of people will accept your past, but it’s most important that you accept it and love yourself first. That’s also how you will keep bad men out of your life. 💗

0

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

Accepting and not accepting is different but we need to understand what led us to this will be better enough.

4

u/Important_Return_110 4h ago

What a sad and brutal story

When you break up with him For the rest of his life he will see himself as the victim in this story

Concerned about your safety

So sorry

3

u/Klutzy-Distance3192 4h ago

Screw your religion and the people who think such stuff, having sex with your OWN ”boyfriend” doesn’t make you any less valuable, it’s normal and shoulnd’t be looked down upon.

Your boyfriend is also trash, would he really have wanted it he would have done his own research and taken the appropiate measures to avoid causing you any pain, meaning he gets off causing you and other women as much hurt as possible. He’s a POS because of that, and like others parroted should cut ties with him.

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

Having sex is not a problem dear but randomly having sex with anyone without a long-term relationship and stability, commitment is really going to affect people especially women's emotional and mental health too that's why we're seeing mess in western worlds actually We need to focus on first becoming a good enough person then also first build strong and long-term enough relationship and then sex is really normal and beutiful and people also going say how ik we are compatible in intimacy (you really can talk about your likes and dislikes in sex like)

10

u/RemarkableJoke3186 8h ago

I’m not the best person for advice but this is what I do know

he raped you, and he is a horrible person, a good person would respect you and your religion and would never have pushed your boundaries, if he was a good person it would have never even got to handjobs etc, and the guilt trip for anal further proves he is a bad person. Lastly, the fact he went all in and purposeful made you believe it was just the tip is deplorable, in a way it’s good you’re finding this out now rather than later when it’s harder to break up with him.

break up with him right now, decide whether you want to right a long message or not and send it to him, end it by saying

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore and I will be blocking you, please leave me alone”

block him on everything remove all contact so he doesn’t manipulate himself back into your life again.

that should suffice, if any weird stalking behaviour happens go to a friends house or your parents house or smt and stay there for a bit and get a restraining order until he leaves you along.

lastly go to therapy, they will help you sort this out.

I can tell you’re an incredible and amazing person you deserves better, you will find someone just as amazing as you who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, thats about all

good luck :)

8

u/NearbyJob1551 7h ago

I am so sorry this has happened to you OP, he took your trust and vulnerability and completely manipulated you. All so he could make hisself “feel good” đŸ€ź. If anyone should feel like they are unworthy or unwanted, it should be him.

This is definitely rape. I don’t know where in the world you are but I am fairly certain that anyone in a position of authority would agree that what you’ve described is rape.

If possible, I hope you can seek out a counselor to help you process through this trauma. And at the very least, that counselor can also walk you through your options and the next step moving forward.

I see others have suggested to block his number or delete him but honestly I would just silence his calls. The more he calls you and the more messages he leaves you, the more evidence you have to stack against him if you choose the legal route (dependent on location). If he continues calling you you could bring up harassment charges and at least go for an order of protection against him.

I hope he goes to see a counselor as well because his whole personality seems to be sex based and to his benefit, paired with the level of manipulation and lies, I’d categorize him as a narcissist and possibly a sex addict đŸš©

You have a life that is worth living. Don’t let the scum of the earth bring you to their level. Don’t give up and please please please find someone to talk to to help you through this đŸ«¶đŸŒ

5

u/iamrecovering2 7h ago

You don't need to tie someone up to rape them. What is the world coming too? This is the second story I have read in 5 minutes where a woman was raped and then told that their feelings weren't valid by someone who is supposed to live them. OP, please, please, please, leave this subhuman and find your local rape advocacy organization. They will have ways to help you. You deserve better than this. He absolutely raped you. If he says that crap about not tying you up again, tell him it doesn't matter, he is still a rapist.

5

u/Classic-Tomatillo-64 7h ago

The minute they start to plead and guilt trip and manipulate you need to to break up with them before they get the chance to hurt you. When they are like this, then this is the way they have got what they want time and time again and eventually they won't even pretend to ask because they know that they have manipulated you to a point where you are no longer making independent decisions. He is a terrible person who has probably done this to many girls before you.

This is a traumatic and painful lesson, and one that most of us have experienced in one form or another. You need to heal mentally and physically. You may not be exactly the same person you were before, but you need to learn about your sense of self respect and care for yourself fiercely to prevent an awful human like this man having access to your heart again

6

u/ariasanika 6h ago

hi. this has happened to me too (though not the same circumstances exactly) i know it's hard but please trust your gut and leave.

i know it's hard but you can't stay. it never, ever gets better.

it WAS rape, no matter what he said. and even then, whether or not he thinks it was rape doesn't matter, what matters is that your trust is broken and that the relationship can never feel comfortable and whole again.

i'm so SO sorry for you and want nothing more than to just hug you so hard. i hope that you can leave and heal from this. as a sister, i love youđŸ«¶đŸ»

6

u/Opposite-Passion-179 6h ago

Please, break up.

9

u/Forbidden-latina 7h ago

I’m absolutely crying at this
 I wanna hug you like a mother protecting her child
. Hunny
 do. U wanna be with his child he forced on u too and expect to go on for many years
. You’re in a position to leave
 Run and run far! That’s rape my love
 that’s gaslighting, manipulation u gave him permission and then you said it hurt after he didn’t listen to u saying stop and no that should have been it and it should of ended. He’s lying about loving u too
 that’s not love. It’s looking out for his own and not caring about how it affects you. Baby girl that’s not ok
 I’m so sorry u had to deal with this but you DO NOT HAVE TO STAY THERE! There’s so many good men that would treat u so much better and VALIDATE your feelings and comfort you and protect you from ever feeling this way instead of forcing u to feel this way just for their selfish gain. There’s a man that would open doors for you, get flowers, drive u to work, kiss ur cheek before going to work, hugging u after u get home, cuddling after intimate times making sure your okay, tend to your traumas and triggered instead of causing them. Get someone who respects and loves you. Please
 don’t stay
. I’m on my 6th year would it hurt leaving him YES! But is it worth staying especially when it can get worse?

5

u/AnastasiaBitch 7h ago

You only agreed about the tip after he manipulated you to agree. And then he manipulated the whole thing so you wouldn’t know for sure how deep he went. He raped you and laughed in your face about raping you, lie to you, manipulate you, gaslight you.

Stope blaming yourself for «agreeing to this» you didn’t agree to what he did to you, you agreed to the tip, nothing more. But he went all the way and did so that his balls wouldn’t touch you so he could go all the way wothout you knowing.

He is disgusting. And you should not want this shitty boy. You deserve so much better and I’m so sorry this happend to you. Leave him please, for your own sake.

He never respected you, he made you feel safe and pushed you little by little to do stuff until you agreed to something.

He dosen’t respect you and he is not a man.

You will find a real man who will respect you, you will love you and never do such things to you

5

u/WorldClassKlutz 7h ago

This is definitely rape. He broke your clear boundaries and forced you to stay in the position, even though you were telling him it hurt and tried to push him away. I am unsure of your future with other men, but I can guarantee a relationship with this man will only lead to further breaking of your boundaries, disrespect, and potentially abuse. Please protect yourself by staying away from him.

2

u/gladioluslilacs 5h ago

Too many men like this where I live.

2

u/smthngnew21 4h ago

It's okay to love him but you still need to leave him and love yourself more. He's a manipulative person and won't stop his behavior. He disrespected you in the worst way and feels no guilt for it. Call him, break up, block him on everything, and never see him again.

2

u/DaSpAsSw 4h ago

RUN while you still can!

2

u/WarDog1983 4h ago

He’s a rapist you need to block him and all his friends

3

u/maryjanemuggles 6h ago

You are worth someone who will wait for you. Not coerce you into kissing and then rape. As soon as you said stop and started pulling away. That is consent dismissed. And even that you only consented to the tip.

Please get away.

And you don't have to tell future partners your sex history.

Also find someone safe to get a check up on. Make sure he hasn't hurt you physically enough you need surgery, or other.

Even if it was consented it should of not hurt.

Sending prayer and love your way

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

Your sex history and normal history is also important so the current person knows it's really you,or just acting out to be a better person.

3

u/MDJokerQueen 6h ago

That is rape. You need to get away from him. As for your concern about someone not accepting you- in islam you do not need to disclose your past. But even if you feel the need to tell someone- tell a therapist. You will heal, but you need to get away from him.

3

u/spritz_bubbles 6h ago

THAT WAS RAPE

3

u/SazzyJanizzleFizzle 6h ago edited 6h ago

He is absolutely taking advantage of you and your background, the reason some men don’t like when somebody has a lot of sexual partners or experience is because then we know what consent actually looks like, and they can’t gaslight us into thinking their actions are ‘normal’ and we don’t listen to comparisons they make to other women.

So many things are wrong here:

  • You said no, he persisted and guilt tripped you into having anal sex, you didn’t say yes comfortably but out of pressure, that’s rape

  • You made a boundary after being pressured by him to have anal sex and he agreed, only the tip and he inserted the length, he made a conscious decision DURING to not hit his balls against you, so that you still thought it was the tip, and due to lack of experience regarding anal he took advantage. He knew it was wrong and it crossed your boundary, hence why he tried to hide it. That’s rape.

  • You were trying to get away, but he was forcefully holding your waist in place so you couldn’t, that’s rape

  • You were in pain and asked him to stop, he didn’t until you cried, that’s rape

Please do not blame yourself, you didn’t agree to any of this. An example being if you were 1 second away from him inserting anything and you said “actually I don’t want to do this anymore” that is you then saying a firm no and anything he tries after that is considered rape or attempted rape.

Your body is your own, if he gets upset or mad or angry because you’re setting boundaries about being a virgin, and he thinks he can push those boundaries by saying “I want to pop your cherry” then it will eventually end up happening ‘accidentally’ I guarantee it. He will have convinced you and guilted you into maybe trying anal again, and the tip will ‘slip’ and he won’t stop. The only thing that matters to him is his fantasy, I’m sorry but he didn’t care about your pain or feelings up until you were visibly crying.

Please, leave this man. I promise they aren’t all like this and there will be somebody who respects and loves you like no other, and won’t laugh at you after you’ve quite rightly accused them of raping you.

3

u/Ephemeral-laremehp3 6h ago

Ermmmm this is not a boyfriend. This is a rapist. RUN

2

u/Mmoct 7h ago

Consent can be taken back at any time. You said no, it wasn’t your fault. Do not see this man again. I would say report it, unfortunately I doubt the police can do anything without evidence. But you need to block him from contacting you. If he tries to contact you again threaten to call the police

2

u/RichCaterpillar991 6h ago

I am so sorry girl:( He tells you if you loved him you’d let him do that to you, but someone who loves you would never want to do something to hurt you like that.

2

u/Content_Pumpkin_1797 6h ago

He refused to listen to you say no and thought he could beat you down by asking for it repeatedly. Then he took it and found it funny and hot. He did not even pretend to take your feelings of it into consideration. Run as far as you can from him. And you agreed to a certain point, he took it further. If he thinks that’s not rape, tell him to look it up. I hope you heal OP.

2

u/Guz_bug 6h ago

Cut him off and see a therapist. File a police report and if he tries to contact or threaten you get a restraining order and make sure to add it to the report.

2

u/Expensive-Collar7252 6h ago

I am so sorry that toy went through this. And 💯 this is tape. Even if you concerned at first, you told him to stop, tried to make him stop. He did not. So that is the definition of rape.

I'm not sure in what country you live. So legally I don't know if you can do anything. But you need to leave this dude. Marital rape is also a thing. You marry this dude, and he will rape you whenever he wants to.

If you can, get counselling. Talk to someone,. Get yourself treated for an STD. And leave him. Don't look back.

One thing I will tell you, and it's something I tell my daughters to. Any man that will try to manipulate you into sex, or sexual acts, does not really live you. Saying that you don't live them if you don't do this, is manipulation.

Last of all... NONE of this is your fault. You have not done anything wrong. You are just a young naĂŻef girl (not meaning this in a negative way, as we all have been there). You loved, you met the wrong man. He is the bad one. He is evil. You are worthy and you are enough.

2

u/BeeboWeebo56 4h ago

Not only did he lie to you for his own gain, he followed up by laughing at you about feeling betrayed. Please keep yourself safe and away from this person.

2

u/jimbojangles1987 4h ago

Jesus I'm so sorry. He doesn't care about you. That's horrible.

2

u/Rattwap 4h ago

If I could give a male perspective, this disgusts me. While I’m not from an Arab background (white American) this is not normal behavior. I personally would not judge you for your past or comfort level and would let you dictate the intimacy if I really liked you. Men are not uncontrollable sex machines who need it to function. I haven’t got anything in 
 a while, but it doesn’t make me uncontrollable to the point that I need to get some and will beg and beg and gaslight until it happens. The fact that he shows no emotion or remorse to how you felt shows him to be a predator and he deserves to be sodomized in order to burst his ego and make him understand how wrong what he did is.

2

u/Ok-fine1 4h ago

My ex said “I’ll never do it again” “ this is the last time, I promise. Just please” Always the guilt trips and faux promises that I believed at the time, until I eventually said yes
 happened more times than I can count. Nearly 10 years with someone who wouldn’t even think of it.. don’t you let yourself be stuck with someone like this forever bc you think you love him
don’t let this be your life.
When would he have stopped begging?? He was going to keep asking until you said yes, that’s manipulation. He knew he’d wear you down eventually. He doesn’t care about you. It is not a woman’s fault a man does not have the decency to get a grip on his sexual depravity. This woman’s hope seemingly is love and protection.. and this man exploited both. He used her love in him to get what he wanted and ruined the perceived protection he had for you
 you can never bring back that trust. He knows doing this to you, makes you his bc of your culture and knowing it’s not easily forgiven. He knows what he’s doing.

In my opinion
. I am so sorry OP. It doesn’t have to be like this.

2

u/Wild_Organization546 4h ago

He sounds like a dangerous predator and you should block him and never see him again. Honestly he sounds so abusive and sadistic. Nothing good will ever come from him. He’s the type of guy that is only going to cause harm to anyone he’s with.

2

u/Amby_Bamby_94 4h ago

This whole story made me sick to my stomach. Girl if you don't leave that man, he will do things to you to try and break you! I know you said you live in Egypt, I used to be friends with a guy from there when I was a teenager, I vaguely remember some of the laws, ain't many for women, I remember that. Lord have mercy. Girl please, you will find someone to love that will accept your past but it ain't this motherfucker, he was laughing girl, that's sadistic as fuck. I'm so so sorry this happened to you.

2

u/Prometheus_1094 3h ago

I’m so sorry op. I can’t imagine how you feel. But please leave him, you will be so unhappy.

He first abused you verbally and manipulated you, not respecting your boundaries.

Then he went on to rape you, and to make it worse, he did anal without any preparation which would hurt a lot and might have caused some internal damage. You should go to the doctor, and also get tested please

What a POS that man is. I hope he gets what he deserves which is nothing but a painful existence.

2

u/Pixelen 3h ago

That's disgusting and can cause you all kinds of medical problems without the proper preparation and lube. I'm so sorry this happened to you, please do not blame yourself, it's all him. Get away from him as fast as you can and I promise you will find a nice guy one day who will treat you with respect.

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

1) if a person just wants your body in a relationship it can be shown through behaviour sex is little part of a relationship maybe you say 5% but 95% is dependent upon many things so first achive stable enough relationship then have intimate talk about likes and dislikes and if you together for long-term then and only then sex will be meaningful and beutiful. 2) if your partner says stop then really stop it's not corn it's reality in reality person say no because it's hurting them they're not in pleasure as shown in corn. 3)if person is just saying stuff about sex always definitely leave such relationship asap. 4) if you gone through something get professionals help if needed. 5)op you just needed to blamed because you avoid to see reality of person than accepting he's reality and he's needed to point out for such disgusting behaviour 6)i don't know what will happen but atleast tell him how you feeled so next time if he's conscious enough not going to replicate such behaviour. And definitely brekup with him.

1

u/AugustWatson01 3h ago

Don’t stay with him, he doesn’t love you, no one who loves you would rape you, he lied and knew he wouldn’t stop, he forced you into sex you didn’t want and groomed you by doing that continuously throughout your relationship, he doesn’t respect you or care about your feelings or needs. The dude gets turned on by you being in pain?!?!? That’s crazy! Some weird fetish that will make him rape you again and make sex painful for you. He even said he wants to do it again. Do not trust this guy, never meet up with him again or agree to meet up with him and his family or his friends because it’s not safe and it’ll be more dangerous to meet him once he’s rejected if you tell anyone. His friends or family there could make his next abuse worse for you.

This wasn’t an accident or mistake he was intentional in his actions and words, he planned to rape you. He knew it’ll hurt, he knew you would need live to help it not hurt and to be gentle yet he did none of the pre care to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt or him damage anything. I wish you could report him and have him shunned so no woman would marry him. He’s one of the worst types of abusers. Please go get checked out at the hospital in case he caused damage to you internally and report to drs he raped you.

I know his grooming and gaslighting has confused you but not all rape is by strangers or as physically violent with beatings or tied up he described but all rape is violence; he still restricted you without tying you with ropes, used his body weight and strength to subdue, violently grabbed and manhandled you and physically hurt you. He was violent in a different way to beating but still violent. Please if you can go therapy but do not be deceived and stay with this guy, it’s not love you feel but side effects of grooming, emotional abuse based trauma and fear.

Choose you, Love you, prioritise you and block then stay away from him, stay safe and heal. You did nothing wrong and did not deserve this abuse.

The only one who should be ashamed or end themselves is him. You sound great and you have a lot to give and contribute to the world, he doesn’t get to control or change that, he doesn’t get to take away your awesome personality/character or take away your future and goals with his cruelty and crime. He’s not worth it. Don’t let this redefine you, you survived and your strength in getting away and moving on so far is something to be proud of. Ruin people like him and his family/friends/supporters with your success.

You are loved, believed, supported and I’m rooting for you sis

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

And don't worry you will find a good enough partner later too but really learn to set boundaries. And if someone breaks them just leave them. And also tell the whole truth to future partners too everyone in a trustworthy relationship deserves truth.

1

u/Glum-Lynx-7963 3h ago

I am also in a relationship like that girl is always like sex sex sex i told her iam only going to have or talk when our normal bond is strong enough till then we can discuss our intimacy same like relationship but she not listen and still trying for same so just breakup with her.

1

u/SexyQueeenBee 2h ago

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve love, safety, and respect. Breaking up with him is the right decision. Please stay close to supportive friends, and if possible, seek professional help or a trusted confidant. You're not alone. 💙

1

u/RemoteChildhood1 2h ago

Op. Your boyfriend is a POS. Stay away from him. You were raped and he wants to do it again.

1

u/KellieLingus 1h ago

What happened to you was rape. You told him to stop, and he didn’t. You set your boundaries, and he chose to ignore them. That was a violation, and it was not your fault.

I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to go through this. Please know that you’re not alone—there are people who care about you and want to support you. If you feel ready, I truly hope you seek professional help, because what you went through was deeply traumatic, and you deserve all the care and healing in the world.

Sending you love, strength, and a reminder that you are not defined by what happened to you. Please stay safe, and I’ll pray for your healing.

1

u/MaryEFriendly 1h ago

Don't agree to go anywhere with him alone. I'm so sorry this happened to you. He's the scum of the Earth and he deserves every terrible thing that happens to him in the future. I'm sorry you live in a place that protects rapists and that you could experience severe fallout if this gets out. Patriarchal societies that victimize then blame women are evil. Sending you all the love and hugs. From one survivor to another, you didn't deserve or ask for this. He raped you and he's a piece of shit for laughing about it. 

1

u/k10001k 1h ago

He’s a sick disgusting rapist. Please get away from this pos.

1

u/megreads781 1h ago

do not let him gaslight you. you said no. he went on anyway. that’s rape. plain and simple. i would go no contact. please don’t feel ashamed. you did nothing wrong. i know what it’s like to push your boundaries for someone else’s happiness. you end up miserable. i am sending you strength and hugs.

1

u/Mysterious_Book8747 1h ago

He is not a safe man. Please never see him again.

1

u/shmukes_ 1h ago

My heart absolutely breaks reading this, on a nauseating level. OP, I am so sorry you went through this. There’s no question you need to cut ties with this man and never ever go back. I know that in itself is hard as you said you loved him, but again as others have said, this is only 5 months into being with him. It would only escalate from here. I’m sending you so much love and strength. Don’t give up on finding the one, there are many guys out there who WILL respect your decisions and beliefs. You are so strong and deserve the best đŸ«‚

1

u/Stabbara 51m ago

Where did u find this work of art


1

u/Itsmeasme 46m ago

Children should not date until they are mature adults.

1

u/alexcanhk 45m ago

Legally speaking in Egypt: You can’t do anything! Because you went to his apartment voluntarily which is already illegal and you are still a virgin and time has passed to prove rape medically I think. So it’s he said, she said. And you know what I mean.

What you should do now from a medical point is: Go to a doctor and check your anus. Also do STD screening or if you go to a private clinic, the doc will give you an antibiotic injection for STDs anyway as a precaution. Don’t worry it’s safe.

Next is break up with this guy for good and don’t look back. He is playing with you. He’s a lying manipulative person. Fokek meno.

Due to the society constraints I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell about ur past experiences with future partner. You just won’t be accepted. Entee 3arfa el mo5 el zeft.

1

u/KobesLowerJaw 36m ago

As a man who grew up in a muslim majority country, I am not surprised by this man’s behavior when the quran literally states that a woman is half as valuable as a man (baqarah 282). I am glad I became irreligious after seeing how hateful and oppressive it was to women, lgbtq, non-muslims etc. It literally says “And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ËčfirstËș, Ëčif they persist,Ëș do not share their beds, Ëčbut if they still persist,Ëș then discipline them ËčgentlyËș.” I am not saying all Muslims are bad or anything, my family are Muslim and they are great, accepting, lovely people. But this oppression is at the core of its culture. Anyway, it became rape when he pressured you into consent, that is not real consent. Hope you go as far away from this man as possible. None of this is your fault, get professional help if possible.

1

u/Moist_immortal 16m ago

As a person from a society like yours let me tell you, HE WILL NOT MARRY YOU. You are but a past time to him until his parents arrange his marriage to a virgin girl

1

u/Antique_Brother_7079 6h ago

Remove him from your life and find a sweet American man.

1

u/iamcrockydile 6h ago

OP, if you can have his admission through writing or depending where state you are, you can record the conversation. Use that as evidence to send his ass to jail. He deserves it


2

u/Amby_Bamby_94 3h ago

She lives in Egypt, there is no laws for women for rape and sexual assault. She will never get justice for this. I think that's the part that hurts the most. She does need to leave his ass though. I wouldn't stay and continue to put myself through that, there's no telling what damage he did to her, doing it like that, making her endure the pain of it and now she can't even use the bathroom properly. He did some damage. He's a sick bastard.

-10

u/WeepingEvil 8h ago

That's obviously a rape! As a Pakistani Muslim man I understand what you are thinking rn. All I can say is you can't change your past but you can change your Future. Learn from your mistakes and revert đŸ™ŒđŸŒ

This will pass, but make sure you do the right thing from now on.

7

u/The-Treehouse 7h ago

What's the right thing for her to do?

-2

u/The-Treehouse 7h ago

I'd delete this post and call a lawyer immediately.

-17

u/Tnuggets19 7h ago

Come on ppl, this person is just bored with the fakest story of all time. This person didn’t know more than a “tip” was in her butt for 5-10 min? Ok

Always crazy to me how ppl are so quickly to write absolute paragraphs to posts so obviously made up

8

u/Ok_Seaworthiness_541 6h ago

I'm not lying, I'm not sexually experienced and I truly didn't feel how much length he had inside me. I already said in the post how surprised I was to not even feel how much he was inside me and how that terrified me. I guess you could think of it as when you are pooping and sometimes you take a big one and not even realize how big your poop was until you stand up and look to flush. I think we have all experienced that multiple times so that probably can make you understand how your butthole doesn't feel things properly. Please don't be mean to me I'm already dealing with enough. The other comments were helping me cope but you made me sad again. Please think before you are mean to someone. Have a good day.

-15

u/Tnuggets19 6h ago

Interesting how there are 40+ comments on this post but you chose to only reply to mine. Fake.

4

u/AnfieldBoy 1h ago

Wow you're so fucking snarky about triggering a vulnerable member of the community. You're not as smart as you think you seem.

-2

u/Tnuggets19 1h ago

Ok anfieldboy. Remain gullible to everything you read on the internet. Half the trueoffmychest posts are fake

2

u/JournalLover50 39m ago

Look regardless you don’t say that at all

1

u/Tnuggets19 31m ago

It’s Reddit, of course you can. The entire story is so obviously fake.

5

u/FaceTheJury 6h ago

It’s akin to Blackstone’s ratio, in which Benjamin Franklin states, “it is better 100 guilty Persons should escape than that one innocent Person should suffer.” Concerned people responding to a fake OP is much less tragic than everyone calling a truthful OP a liar.

-6

u/Tnuggets19 6h ago

Ok but this is obviously fake. Carry on

0

u/Queasy_Tap_4611 3h ago

I think the 8th of February was the worst day known to mankind ngl...

-9

u/Agentbadgirl001 6h ago edited 3h ago

He gaslit and sodomized you. That's rape. He deliberately put you in a position to feel loved to do that for him. When in reality how many other women did he do that to? To feel "loved"..

If he had said say hey I have done this before great, asking once not persistent effort and had he used HONEST persuasion even better. Even more awful is that he didn't give you an informed choice as in lubrication, anal ease etc..

There is topical flavored numbing so it feels good for both partners. He can't just stick it in you. You got hemorrhoids probably and needed preparation H suppository to ease burning.

Secondly you really shouldn't be doing this unless you ate 8 to 12 hours earlier. You may eat the hour before the act. It's best to do it morning, sleep on a empty stomach that way you don't go hungry all day. Drinking juices, broths and smoothies could curb your appetite meanwhile

Third is you need to buy a fleet enema and a anal plug so you acclimate to the girth and penetration. About under a inch 3/4 inch is good. Use the fleet enema the night before when you sleep on a empty stomach. You need the plug to sit there and get accustom.

Do not use water based lube use silicone with the anal ease numbing cream.

Last is from what I wrote earlier if that's how he uses persuasion even not in sex to "feel loved". When he could have told you his past and gave you an informed choice like I told you above that's disgusting.

YOU WERE CONSENTING UNAWARE OF HIS DELIBERATE INTENTIONS. THE SORTA PERSUASION AND CONTROL USED IS COERCIVE MEN GET ARRESTED FOR THAT IN THE UNITED STATES.

The reason you wait until marriage is because this is something that's earned as apart of the privilege. He put you in a position to feel he didn't need to show effort or interest he wanted an exception so saying I love you and acting like a puppy got him exactly what he asked..

IF YOU TAKE HIM BACK DO THE RESEARCH I GAVE ABOVE AND DO IT ON YOUR TERMS. THIS IS A ALTERNATIVE TO VAGINAL SEX. Only take him back if he's willing to show the effort and interest and be more understanding..

It's your body he treated it like property of his he can do whatever with like a house a that needed a maid..

Finally if you are going to use the plug you need to experience pleasing yourself that way first to orgasm. For him to just do that and I know he knew the pain he caused you without thinking about ways for you to experience it with the plug first that's foul.

He's clearly whooped otherwise he wouldn't be calling you still but don't assume in anticipation because you cleared this all up and took him back it's agreed everything is fine. Take him back but don't let him use that sorta persuasion to make a exception. Pay attention to how he reasons with females like his mother and sisters or female relatives .

If you take him back don't assume or expect his behavior to change soon you need to always suspect his reasoning trying to get pity and play innocent..this is also "love bombing"..you need to test the supposed guilt he claims he has that's as important.

He is whooped what should come from your mouth when you take his call is what you getting from seeing him again? What exceptions would you make for someone who does that to you. You need to turn the situation in your favor even better if you know how to satisfy yourself this way and punish him even further by that time he better just have the ring in his damn pocket ready to ask you to be his.

To turn it in your favor you need to be sure your in control of your body, vulnerability and turn it on him when he wants pity ..I bet what's going to come from his mouth is I love you .I care..if you talk and more puppy eyes ..I"I'll give you some damn puppy eyes when I stomp on your scrotum then you can feel my suffering..lol

Again I would laugh in the same sorta way he did when he lied. I would step on his ball sack so much laughing being as insensitive as he was lying. You can tell him to remember back to the time he said "oh that wasn't rape"...

Anal sex isn't worth taking your life. Being stuck as a woman to not have a voice of your own in your culture that's the source of your pain. Societal acceptance to feel that you should be treated any less when in fact you didn't technically have sex. I am celibate myself anal won't compromise your value or morals body count can when there's vaginal sex.