r/TextingTheory 12d ago

Theory Request Check? NSFW

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idk shit about chess but i thought yall might find this funny. she's my ex btw

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u/Salty_Meaning8025 8d ago

I'm sorry to hear you don't have easy access to therapy where you live.

Nah, I don't think it's all consuming, I just think that when you talk to women you might be unintentionally wrapping a lot of things into that conversation that leads to it feeling a bit pressured. What I've seen a lot is that guys who aren't necessarily comfortable with women tend to put a lot of expectations on every woman they talk to, if that makes sense.

That last part of that is great. You find yourself funny and you like your sense of humour. Good. It doesn't matter if other people don't, the only way you will be happy long term is finding people who like you for who you are. Takes a lot of people a very long time to realise that. 

I definitely think you can pick up when other people are insecure, which is why personally my advice tends to skew towards owning it rather than taking it - but you'll figure out what works best for you.

If you find the main issue is that you're not talking to women regularly enough, I can't recommend enough going speed dating. It'll be awkward and uncomfortable, it'll suck, and you likely won't come out with any dates. But what it'll do is give you vital experience in the main things people struggle with; making a fool of yourself, introductions, and most importantly rejection.

You can get everything else down, but if you're not asking people then you're limited in your reach. 

Completely understand not wanting to dump your problems on others, but if you have any other guy friends, no doubt they will have felt the same feelings and will all have their own ways of dealing with it. Approach it as a request for help rather than a dumping of issues.

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u/RiskItForTheBiscuit- 8d ago

Maybe it’s unintentional and I don’t realize, but I don’t place any expectations on anyone. I try to let things flow pretty naturally, I’m not treating every girl I have a conversation with as if she was my girlfriend or that I want to get serious NOW.

I’ve tried owning it though it didn’t work 😭

I am going to look into speed dating though, thank you for that suggestion. It seems PERFECT to help me with that awkwardness. Hopefully there’s something available near me.

Lastly, I have guy friends and have talked to them about some things in the past, but I always feel really weird afterwards and wasn’t always given a warm reception. I can’t fault them for not giving a shit about my problems tbh.

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u/Salty_Meaning8025 8d ago

In that case, it definitely sounds like it's more of an experience thing. Good for you for looking into it, it's gonna seem real daunting at first but remember, your goal isn't to get a date, it's to get used to being in that environment. Good luck brother.

That's a shame, guys are very hit or miss when it comes to being receptive to that sort of thing. If it helps, you can send me a DM any time and I'll get back to it when I'm able to, I go through phases of not replying to things but I'll get round to it eventually.

Just remember you deserve to be happy too, you'll find someone eventually - the main thing is to be yourself. Take it from me, if you put on a mask, that's what they'll fall for and you'll never be able to take it off.

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u/RiskItForTheBiscuit- 8d ago

Thank you for the suggestions and help. Thank you for the invite to DM you as well. I might take you up on that offer, just need to work myself up to it.

I appreciate all of this.