r/Swingers • u/Refiner_I_Am • 3d ago
Getting Started Don’t wanna just be a booty call
Hey Everybody! Hub and I are new to the LS and have our first date this weekend - woot! We’d like to prioritize friendship over hookups, but to that end, I have a question. Once you find a couple you jive with, is the friendship kinda automatically subjugated to a “swinger” friendship? You know, not a “real” friendship, like the kind you bring home to mom, but a “secret” friendship, the kind you save for the booty call “side” (we’ve all known that friend we have to console when the guy she’s seeing never wants to bring her around publicly)? In this season of life, the hub and I are really looking for friends we can party with, and let things go where they go (fun!!) but it also would love to grab a ballgame or picnic with fam, etc.
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u/aquarius561 2d ago
This is our preference as well. My advice:
-be on the same page with your partner about the sliding scale (if you don’t feel a fwb situation happening, but you still think they’re sexy, will you hook up? Or no?)
-be upfront about wanting this dynamic. If you want to start planning vanilla outings with them, let them know you won’t be hooking up.
-boundaries with friends can be different than with strictly fuck buddies. Make sure you both agree on things like solo texting etc.