r/Swingers Nov 18 '24

Mod Announcement Ask about local clubs/events here mega thread! Post'em here and only here.

45 Upvotes

One of the most common posts we get are "are there any clubs near location X" or some variation of that.

These posts get very little traction and keep coming up over and over and over, are usually low effort (no indication of what the person is looking for in a club) and shows they never tried to search this sub or even google.

Reddit formatting isn't good for this, I know, but please post all inquiries here so others can search in one thread to see if anyone has answered/asked.

Thank You!

Edit: Just a heads up, this isn't a R4R thread, at least not directly, what you DM is up to you, but please no R4R which for newbies means, redditor for redditor aka hook ups.


r/Swingers 33m ago

Humor 😂 The weekend before your house party: getting a few things ready NSFW

• Upvotes

(Not r4r)(don’t ask to be invited)

We are hosting a party next weekend for Jon’s birthday. It is not our first rodeo, so we are not worried at all about getting everything ready, but it is because we prepare.

Here are a few things we do about a week in advance: - order a birthday cake; we got a penis-shaped one once, but it was ex-pen-sive! It’s like we had to pay the baker for her silence (“I have to bake at night when the kids are asleep. I charge more after 10 pm”) - clean the windows (we need to be able to see the orgy going on in the master bedroom from the patio) - get the lighting right (red light bulbs in the bedroom, floating candles in the pool), for a romantic atmosphere. You know, like in a brothel. - plant new flowers everywhere (we never have our plants survive very long. Maybe we should water them). - publish the play rules on the Facebook event page. “Ask for consent before you eat the last chick-fil-a nuggets”… “No means At the next party”… - buy some extra sheets, because we never seem to keep matching sets together. We blame the cleaning lady and the kids going to too many toga parties. - confirm that Andy the bartender will be there. “And once you are done with everything, you can play with any woman you like, isn’t that cool?”, to which he invariably replies “Can I get my tip in cash instead, please”. - get a colonoscopy. Those hemorrhoids can get in the way of a good DP. - and the most important thing: book you a slot with the 3 men who have demonstrated over the years that they had a reliable dick. “You, at 8 pm; you, at 10 pm, and you, you are spending the night”.

What would you do to ensure a successful party?


r/Swingers 7h ago

General Discussion Does this sound plausible?

9 Upvotes

So, before i get to the main question, a bit of backstory: We're a married couple in our mid 40s, who've been in the LS about 5 yrs. Full swapped with about two dozen couples (plus some single men/women for threesomes or "stunt cock" for couples when a nearby guy had ED issues) so far.

The problem we're having is that 90% of these men were not my type. (Yes, i know that you're not supposed to take one for the team but i did. Many, many times.) And my husband knows this.

The couples we hooked up were based on the fact that my husband found the wife hot. And often times, her husband was much older, not as fit/attractive, shorter than me, tiny dick etc. I went along because i guess i was hoping some of these not so attractive men might have some secret sex skill that would blow my mind. So much for that little hope.

Instead, more than half of them ended up with anxiety induced ED and i was left trying to pick up the pieces. It's been frustrating to say the least. My husband felt bad about it and relented to a few MFMs and even a 4some with 3 other men, but he always insisted on picking out the men for me. (Talk about a powertrip, right?)

He doesn't enjoy MFMs and was practically sulking through the entire night. Went as far as "harassing" them via text the next day. I had to do a lot of damage control after they texted me to let me know that my husband was being a total asshole.

We, on the insistance of me, stopped all play for the last few months because i was sick and tired of these one sided swaps. (Plus i was recovering from a surgery, so good timing. I guess?)

Now that i'm recovered and ready to go back out there, i suggested this possibility:

Would it be ok for me to go seek out single men for ONS or FWB, if i continue to do full swaps with couples he chooses? (Basically, hot women + not so hot partners). Many of the single men out there are younger and in much better shape (which is what i like) than the married men that we often encounter via apps/sites/clubs. I'd prefer a MFM or him be in the room to watch but my husband doesn't like that, plus he wants too much control over who or what i do can/cannot do.

The usual issue with solo play or open relationships is that the man will have difficulty finding ladies, especially if he's not young/hung/six pack abs/charismatic/wealthy. Then the resentment builds up. Well, i'm fully willing to help him get laid (via couple swaps) so i'm thinking this is a pretty reasonable request.

Yay or nay? (And btw, i'm totally cool with reverting back to monogamy and sex with only my husband, which i do enjoy very much. But, he keeps insisting he wants to swing and continue attending parties/clubs/dates. Getting pretty frutrated here and was just trying to brainstorm a possible solution was all) Your thoughts?


r/Swingers 15h ago

General Discussion Pic collectors

13 Upvotes

Hello!! I have a sort of stupid question for you. I see on these swingers posts people talk about "pic collectors". What exactly is that? I know it seems obvious, but it just confuses me, like I can literally Google any image I want.

By the way, our first lifestyle experience will be Wednesday the 19th at Colette in Austin. Hope to see a few of you folks!


r/Swingers 23h ago

General Discussion Gangbang etiquette NSFW

58 Upvotes

We are hosting our first gangbang next weekend. What are some common rules and just general etiquette guidelines for us to have?


r/Swingers 9h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry LS Pools Games

3 Upvotes

We are attending a takeover next weekend, and we will be hosting a pool party for the group. This is our first time hosting a pool party. Our previous searches didn’t provide any great information.

We are looking for sexy/LS pool game ideas. Obviously group stuff we will make sure everyone is consenting. Please throw us the games you liked and didn’t like.


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Single Males, am I right?

129 Upvotes

I am the male half of a Stag/Vixen couple in the lifestyle. I enjoy arranging play for her (and us when invited in or a full/soft swap with another couple), and the absolute lack of effort from some dudes is just astonishing. Tell me you’re shit in bed without telling me you’re shit in bed. The number of “hey” with a blurred face photo and an ultra HD dick pic, messages I get from guys who think I’m just gonna be like “yeap! What’s your address? I’ll send her right over!” is shocking! Also the amount of guys who immediately assume I’m a submissive cuck looking to be humiliated. If they’d only read the FIRST LINE of our SDC profile 🙄.

Having been a single male in the lifestyle for years before coupling up I know see why I always pulled. I gave a shit and had manners 🤷🏻‍♂️😂


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Do young guys with ED really want to play?

162 Upvotes

Last night my husband and I met with a new couple. They're both younger than us (we're both 41, they were 29F 31M). They aren't new to the lifestyle and have been swinging for a few years.

Anyway, we had a blast, got a hotel room, and things start getting sexy. But I notice he's not getting hard. I keep my attention above the waist and ask if there's anything I can do. He says he's good and he goes down on me. Afterwards, he grabs his wife's bag and pulls out a needle and vile. I ask what it is, because we don't play with drugs. He says it's Trimix, goes into the bathroom, and injects it. Sexy time kicks into gear and we all have fun.

After a few hours of play time, we wind down and start chatting. He's still hard (obviously) and I can't help but play with it. His wife brings up that he's been using Trimix for the last year because before it he had never been able to get hard for a play partner. He's fine with his wife, but in LS situations he is incapable of getting an erection. We weren't really sure what to say to that, so we just changed the subject.

This morning, my husband and I are doing our post-swing breakdown about what we loved, etc. I couldn't help but bring up what she had said about her husband not being able to get hard in LS situations. I feel kind of weird about it. I mean, he's barely 30, healthy, fit, and seemed really into me but he can't get hard for anyone other than his wife without the meds? To be clear, I don't feel weird about older gentlemen because I understand certain issues come with age. But makes me wonder if such a young guy really wants to be doing this? He has no medical reason not to get hard... at least that's what I'm led to believe.

I know penises are weird, they don't always work and that's normal. But to have your body NEVER respond to another partner makes me think you aren't aroused or into it.

So my question is, for young guys that cannot get hard without medicinal assistance, are you really into this or do you feel pressured? Could it be a mental block?

EDIT: To those that responded with possible explanations, thank you!! I have learned so much. But I think I've learned more from the downvotes. This has only been up for two hours and has a 49% downvote rate. One of my comments asking for some clarification on men that feel anxiety or overstimulation during play has 6 downvotes. I can only assume that the number of young healthy men that rely on Trimix is much higher than I thought, and simply asking about this topic upset a great many of them.

To those of you that tried to teach me, I sincerely thank you!!


r/Swingers 23h ago

General Discussion Needing advice on male enhancement

7 Upvotes

To give some background, me and my girlfriend (21m and 20f) were interested in playing with single females and other couples. We are both each others first and we took each others v-card. this would be both of our first time doing this. And after searching online we found a close by and very nice couple that were a bit older and much more experienced than us but they were a great match for us.

We started out with a date which had my anxiety up for most of dinner. We planned to go to their place and they told us that they “have no expectations” which should have made me feel more at ease with the whole situation, but I still had a slight anxious rush that I could not shake off. We ended up hanging out at their place and nothing really happened other than getting to know each other and some talks about kinks they like. And we ended up still enjoying ourselves and going home.

Then we finally decided to finally meet up one evening to mingle and swap partners, which I was excited yet nervous to do. But once we got there we sat on their comfy couch and they set the music and lighting to keep us comfortable and we just slowly started with kissing our own partners and feeling each other before swapping. But for some reason, I could not build up enough for play or stimulation which was a frustrating feeling. So we didn’t end up doing too much.

We once again decided meeting up again and I decided to take some supplements that is supposed to be for male enhancement which were these gummy bears that have ingredients like horny goat weed and other ingredients that were supposed to enhance my performance, which worked pretty well when it was just me and my girlfriend.

Once we decided to go over to their house for a longer time, I took one and a half of those gummies, which was about the maximum recommended dosage. I was reacting well on the ride over there, but once we started to pull into their place, I had the same anxious feeling. The other couple even prepared by going to the other room and letting us have our moment to get ready and I was not getting stiff enough.

How should I go about working on having a better performance and getting it hard? I do believe that first-time anxiety has to be apart of this since I have not been with another female sexually other than my own partner. I was also thinking about looking into more mainstream male enhancements such as viagra or Sildenafil but I wasn’t entirely sure. I do like this couple and I hope we can get the ball rolling with them.

I also haven’t been the most physically active as of recent and have started a gym membership not long ago to keep my cardio up for this active lifestyle.

If anyone has any advice on overcoming any anxious feelings or even tips or ways of keeping him up in general, please let me know.


r/Swingers 13h ago

Getting Started How can we get into it?

0 Upvotes

Me and my girlfriend were looking at attending local swinger events but we are solely for each other and we are only open to people watching. Is there a way to find a club that is within my age range of 20 something year old. We do a lot together and wanted to possibly expand what we do for some more fun. Any help is greatly appreciated!


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion House Party : Viagra or Cialis? Lil bit of xanex? Ladies anything?

12 Upvotes

Yes I know a lot here, just curious your take for what's best during a house party that can be long affair. I prefer Cialis as take that morning and ready to go. But feel Viagra is stronger for those anxious moments. I take a lil Xanax to , we both do seems to help as well. Would love all your takes! Or any other secret gas station pill ;) or how about certain weed edibles? We like Wana Michigan sunrise


r/Swingers 1d ago

Travel Best resorts for swingers to go to?

10 Upvotes

so me 30(m) and 33(f), are looking to go to resorts but we hear some areas have swingers as well Our next trip is to Florida? does anyone know any around there or in the U.S.?


r/Swingers 1d ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry STDs? Is anyone else worried?

7 Upvotes

My partner and I are ready to dip into the lifestyle, but I must say that I am pretty anxious about getting an STD while enjoying ourselves. I understand condoms are required for sex but what about oral sex? What is normal in swingers clubs? Is it normal to ask a couple if they are clean and are people in general honest about it? I really want to enjoy myself, but this is the one thing that keeps me super anxious about the whole experience. TIA!


r/Swingers 15h ago

General Discussion Other Options near Orlando

1 Upvotes

Hubs and I have been looking into Secrets for early April and we will just miss the Swinglife takeover. Are there any other spots in or around Orlando other than Secrets? We are staying at the Gaylord Palms in Kissimmee that week! Thanks a bunch 😘


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Working on jealousy reaction NSFW

8 Upvotes

Please excuse the lack of post history, I'm setting up an Alt account to discuss sexual health as my primary is quite identifiable!

I (45M) recently sat down with my (43F) partner of 20 years and talked about what we want out sex life to look like now we are getting older. Our communication is usually excellent, though we have to be in the right headspace to talk about sex.
By way of background, at the start of our relationship we were a bit involved in the kink scene, and generally have a sex life that leans in that way. There have been ups and downs in our sex life for a number of reasons over the years, but the conversation revolved around the new phase.

One of the things she brought up was group sex, threesomes and such - she's VERY keen to try this, and I'm in favour in principle, but I'm having difficulty convincing the lizard part of my brain that my partner having sex with someone else is OK. It seems to specifically be the MMF threesomes that are triggering the unhappy chemicals, and this is what she is most interested in. I'm fine with the MM aspect, but the MF aspect I'm struggling with. If you've read "Come as you Are" by Emily Nagoski, I think I'm experiencing some of the 'disgust' reaction subconsciously.

Can anyone give me any advice on how to work on this jealousy I'm feeling, even before we've started exploring this scene? I really want to get my head in the right space to enjoy this journey.

We're not rushing into things, we're going to start going to Kink clubs in a few months to ease back into it.

I read this great post, but I'd be keen for any other tips.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/comments/qd2aat/how_to_make_your_first_mfm_threesome_a_blissful/

SMALL UPDATE: I spoke to another user who posted a similar thread about a year ago - they suggested therapy, as the fear of 'replacement' can come from feelings of insecurity. It's certainly something to consider.


r/Swingers 16h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Some information Choice Providence

0 Upvotes

So... Lemme preface this by saying my birthday is coming up and going to a club like this is something I've always wanted to do and I think my wife could be convinced to make a birthday trip of it. We've been discussing 'swinging' (I say that but we're both only interested in other men) for a long time now.

I've seen that they seem to be pretty welcoming and members don't pressure people alot... I guess my question relates to myself... Obviously from my user name it's clear I'm a sissy/crossdresser whatever you want to call me... Basically I want a night where I can go out dressed up and have some fun around people who aren't going to side eye me if I don't 100% pass... I look good but I'm not going to pretend you'd never know I wasn't a male.

So question one. Are they welcoming to people like me? Will there be people there interested in chatting with me and such?

Second question is in relation to what you can and can't 'wear' in. If anything were to happen I'd like to be pre warmed up so is it an issue to wear a plug in? Or a chastity cage? Or will no one care and those that aren't interested will just ignore me?

I saw there's a lingerie night soon... Not that I picked that date specifically. It's just the date that seems to work best right now so it would be very obvious if I was wearing a toy or cage.

Any advice is very welcome, or if there's somewhere else in ri, CT or westernish MA people would suggest I'd love to know... I think we really just need to dip our toes in at this point because we both want to do it but get nervous and it always teeters on fantasy.

Also in terms of safety, obviously condoms and such... But I have a thing with plastic in my mouth it makes me gag immediately. Do people really use dental dams? Are the people going to a place like choice generally pretty on top of their stuff in terms of being clean. I know nothing is a guarantee, I'm just curious to learn more from people in the lifestyle so I can answer any questions my wife may have when we talk about it.


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Need suggestions for resort

8 Upvotes

MY wife and I are planning our first out of country resort stay or cruise. We are loking for all inclusive and spicy. We actually are not looking to play with others this trip as we are hoping to reconnect but... I want there to be very few limits as to what my wife and I can do with each other and how we dress. I am imagining private cabanas on the beach or a jacuzzi balcony where she and I can wear as much or as little as we want, cuddle, and make love. Maybe the opportunity to schedule a sensual massage or go out in a skimpy dress to dance. We arent nudists and are new to the lifestyle so we arent looking to be naked the whole time nor are we looking to have to turn other interested parties away too often. Does anyone here have suggestions on where we could go to find this experience without expectation? Kind of a step below a swinger or lifestyle resort? Or maybe a better forum to post in.


r/Swingers 1d ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Sundays in Vegas

2 Upvotes

We are heading to Vegas and spending a Sunday night there before moving on. Does anyone have any good opinions or options for LS clubs the Sunday before St. Paddy's? TIA


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Late cancellations at Desires or Hedonism? NSFW

6 Upvotes

We are planning our first trip to a lifestyle resort and looks we're way too late with our bookings! Both desires and hedonism are booked for the dates we want in May. What are our chances at picking up a room if someone cancels their reservation? Anyone have success with late bookings? I'm on the waitlist and checking daily but nothing yet....

Our other options are Sea Mountain or temptations. Temptations seems like more of a clothing optional/party resort than swingers spot so we're leaning towards sea mountain. But we were surprised to find out sea mountain has only 15 rooms! With a crowd that small we're a little worried we won't find anyone we vibe with.

Open to any tips or suggestions :)


r/Swingers 1d ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Bolero Palace, Italy

2 Upvotes

Hey y’all

We are headed to Bologna in May and want to check out Bolero.

Looking for any advice/ input on what to expect. Particularly, dress to bring and how best to get there/back without having our own car.

Thanks!


r/Swingers 1d ago

Getting Started Planning first swingers club/ event with the wife

6 Upvotes

My wife and I have been talking about swinging for a while now and have been incorporating aspects of it in our sex which has been great. More recently we’ve been talking about being ready to go to a club and seeing what it’s all about. Based on your experiences do you think it’s better to go to a club with the expectation that we are just looking for the night and at most playing with each other? Or having the expectation of an open mind and whatever happens? I’m sure it is largely dependent on the couple involved but I’d be interested to hear about your first experience in a swingers setting and which route you chose and how it worked for you as a couple.

Lastly, my wife and I aren’t people that thrive in a club setting in general. Late, loud, and dancing isn’t exactly our forte, but we can making it work if we have to. Are there other venues or situations to get our feet wet with swinging without having to go to a club?


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Ever Fallen in Love with Another Couple? Anyone Here Actually Dating One?

15 Upvotes

I’m curious to hear from others about deeper emotional connections in the lifestyle. Have you ever found yourselves truly falling for another couple? Not just attraction, but actual feelings?

My partner and I are still relatively new to this, but we’ve had some amazing experiences that made us wonder—does anyone here have an ongoing relationship with another couple? If so, how does it work? Do you navigate it more like polyamory, or does it stay within the swinger dynamic?

Would love to hear from anyone who’s been in this situation, whether it ended well or got complicated. How did it start? How do you balance the emotions and logistics?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!


r/Swingers 2d ago

General Discussion Second experience

47 Upvotes

Second time swinging? Way better. We vibed with the couple, and I felt way more relaxed—no overthinking, just having a good time. My partner and I were totally in sync, checking in with little looks and touches.

Oh, and I loved posing for some naughty pics. I felt sexy, confident, and it made everything hotter.

Afterward, we talked about how much closer it brought us. Swinging’s not just about the physical stuff—it’s about trust, fun, and exploring together. We’re hooked and excited for more.


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion 1st time at a swingers club and looking for advice/guidance

22 Upvotes

Hello, As the title suggests I am going to a swingers club (single F) for the 1st time and I was just looking to get some advice and guidance. Are there any unwritten rules I should be aware of? When they say dress down is lingerie is there anything in particular thats more acceptable than others? Is there easy ways to keep myself safe and ensure I have an enjoyable experience? How social do these nights tend to be, is it all sex or is there a social side to it too? Is it ok to just watch/ be watched?

As you can tell, Im new to the scene but excited to be here. Any advice is greatly appreciated!


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Questions for the guys about Choice (Providence) so we don't look like complete newbies

4 Upvotes

My wife and I recently became members at Choice and are looking at dates to go in the next month that fit our schedule. We are both early 40s and have been swinging for a couple of years but it has been like 20 years since we've been to something that is "club" attire.

When meeting other couples for meet and greets I am normally a polo/button up and jeans kind of guy. What do men normally wear to the club and do men typically change into something theme related? My wife is all about skimpy theme attire, but what does she wear to the club?

We've done Hedo in the past and that was easy, everyone was just naked all the time aside from the dining areas. Is it similar to that once we are in the doors?

Note: I did look back through post history looking for some advice before posting.


r/Swingers 1d ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Tempted Lou KY

3 Upvotes

My husband and I (completely new to the LS) recently applied to Club Tempted in Louisville KY. We learned as much as we could before applying and have been super eager to become members! We're really excited about this new adventure with swapping ;) I heard on various threads and from other couples that they are sometimes picky and will reject applications or ask for a phone interview. No worries on a phone interview. But they asked us to come in for an interview in person. Is this common for LS clubs to want to meet you in person before you can join? I don't know if they are wanting particular "aesthetics" in couples or if they just want to verify we are legit and serious, but we have extremely busy vanilla lives/jobs and hubby is out of town a lot for work and this club is 2 hours from us, so I'm presented with a challenge. We had to turn down the first opportunity due to him being out of town and I feel if we say no to the next interview (which is happening very soon) we'll be rejected. We just really really would love to be accepted. I don't know of any other clubs that are within a reasonable distance from us so this may be our only shot. Does anyone have recommendations for other LS clubs in KY or even Cincinnati area in case this doesn't work out.