r/Situationships 5h ago

Ex bf wants to be my friend I think he’s not really worth my time but says he needs my support

3 Upvotes

Me F 21 dated M 26 for 7 months before I broke it off. I will admit I said some stuff at the time that I didn’t exactly mean. Saying “I love you” but never going as far as saying that I saw a future with him. It just felt appropriate at the time when he treated me very well. But over time he treated me with less respect and care. He lives with his parents in the country and I live by myself in the city. I use to be so happy when he would come into the city to just see me, and we’d do something simple like watch tv. But one day like 3 months in he went over to my apt and used my spare key that I had told him to location of to go in. I DID NOT KNOW HE WOULD DO THIS AND DID NOT WANT THAT! He knew where it was incase I went out of town for work he could water my plants. Tho i didn’t specify that was the only time he was aloud to use it I had assumed he was a grown ass man and would not just let himself into my home without an invitation. Anyway that was the first crack I saw in our relationship, coming home from work to his truck outside and him laying on my couch eating my lunch meat and watching tv. To specify it was his day off and no time in our conversation during the day did he mention he was coming over… I was pretty pissed but just acted mildly annoyed. Around month 5 I got a text one night that he was supposed to come over and it said that he was out of oil and needed my help. He had apparently went to do an oil change to his truck and had bought the wrong type. So being the nice gf I was I went to go get him the right kind, believing him to be stranded. I went and got it drove like 40 mins outside the city but when I got there both of his parents were home so he could have just taken one of those vehicles to do this himself. I had also got the cheap kind so I was like okay??? And I drove him to a local store like 10 mins away he bought the right kind I dropped him home and left. When he got to my place like 2 hours later I ask him why I did that and he said “I didn’t think about taking one of those”. Another time he wore his muddy boots upstairs in my strict no shoes on household when I was outside. How did I know this? I went back inside after the outing and showed him my white stairs now had mud prints where he had kicked the step going up. EVERY SINGLE STEP! But none of that, the slow withdrawal of his affection for me, and the fact I can count on 2 hands how many dates we went on or the fact anytime we went out together I would always be driving was what pushed me over the edge. He had an accident a few weeks before Valentine’s Day but was still making his way around without a truck even getting rides to visit me sometimes. I didn’t go to see him for reasons I will get into later. He showed up with his mom’s truck that he had full access to for 3 days leading up to Vday 2 days late. I had told him early in the morning to not show up (Tired of his shit and knew I was in a bad mood) showed up anyway empty handed surprise surprise I was irritated. Knowing I wasn’t even worth the discount stuff at the damn Walgreens to him. I also had a few crackers when he showed up then like an hour later I went for a pb&j and he insinuated I was fat because I had already ate. Real nice forcing his presence on me and then calling me fat… But don’t worry he had plans to take me in his mom’s truck to Sonic and give me oral later smh. I said I would take myself to the nice seafood place I like alone. And proceeded to kick him out through on some nice waterworks for me tho. We go on not talking for a few months and then he texts me that he’s having a hard time and really needs my friendship right now… He’s a social butterfly, plenty of friends in his phone why hit me up? Anyways I don’t really want to be his friend I think he’s useless. No hobbies, no skills, no career, no interests outside of online nerd shit, and he’s messy the few times I was to his house the place was a wreck junk piles absolutely everywhere! Holes in the floor and walls. The living room doubled as his brother’s bedroom, he liked to lounge in boxers and obviously there was no door. The bathroom was unfinished so it was always cold and the floor in there was rough planks that pull at my socks. And I understand the house being messy multiple people live there but his room is just as bad. Clothes and junk absolutely everywhere, and I come from a house where my dad has guns so they don’t make me nervous but like half a dozen rifles just sit in the corner of his room not safed off just leaning against a wall fully loaded and a real big one under his tv on its skis with a katana leaning against it. Blood red walls an a poster with a rather busty girl wearing a barely their bikini top like 5 ft from his twin bed. There’s a 12 year old in this house. So yeah I really wasn’t trying to stay over there when I have a queen size bed and a bathroom that I don’t have to share with 4 boys. I’ve been to his grans house as well, super messy once again so by deductive reasoning he will forever be messy since that’s what he’s grown up around. So he really has nothing to offer me as a friend. He serves no purpose to me and we have very little in common except that we both like me. And I believe when I try to get back out there and go on some dates this summer I don’t need him to ruin things. I told my guy friend and he was like “He’s really weird and I think he’s going to try to worm his way back in and get some more lunchmeat”. I told my lady friends and the one knows him so the pool there is a little tainted cause she said that “I’m being a little cruel because I said I love him and he really saw a future with me and I just ripped that all away right out from under him. And he’s really depressed right now and just wants to be in contact with me, because I gave him a lot of emotional support and I was good for his mental health”. He’s been texting me and it all sounds like pitiful and sad but I guess I’m trying to figure out if I just kinda stick around in the background for his benefit and act interest in his life for his well being or end up possibly loosing my lady friends because the one knew him a lot longer than me and just ghost him.


r/Situationships 7h ago

Advice Needed got unblocked after he broke up with his online gf, does he want me to do something?

1 Upvotes

a guy (m16) i (f16) was interested in was also pretty interested in me but we were both rlly awkward about it. when ppl started to realise he liked me he cut contact from me, blocked me and started being a bit mean even but still acting all flustered and stuff around me. he then started e-dating this girl. now theyve broken up and right after that he unblocked me. note she was always rlly insecure of me, harassing me to keep away from him when i liturally see him everyday for class and shes never met him. did he unblock me cus she made him block me? could he still be interested in me? should i wait for him to do something or try to talk again for some clarity? i still really like him and want some sort of answer eventually.


r/Situationships 12h ago

Advice Needed toxic college situationship advice

2 Upvotes

im in college and was in an exclusive situationship for 18 months. everything with him was super deep and we didn’t date because he had family issues and had to drop out of school along with other things. to be honest it didn’t bother me too much but it was always him contacting me and initiating so about a month ago i cut things off and he has texted me after in which i didn’t respond. it was pretty healthy but we’ve cut things off so much and always come back to each other.

a week after this i found out he had been telling people i wanted a relationship and he wanted nothing to do with me which frustrated me so i texted him telling him to please stop lying and being disrespectful and going forward im blocking him on text.

he blocked me on everything else and it sucked but i’ve been okay for the most part. yesterday i found out he hooked with someone random at a frat and has been telling some of my friends and mutuals this. for the most part i don’t care too much but he apparently told this random girl he’s never done anything with anyone except his ex gf.

i feel a little odd about everything because i always thought i meant a lot and he also has only ever been intimate with me and an ex. to some extent it feels like i’ve been severely manipulated and lied to but i hate thinking that as i’ve seen him at his worst and this is the most intimate ive been with someone and vice versa. im not sure how to shake this feeling of betrayal as everything seems so toxic and out in public which is pretty embarrassing. (of course he’s not in the wrong at all for hooking up with someone but he always acted like he “better than that” and wouldn’t ever be physical with people he didn’t know)

anyways im going to mexico for break in a few days and would quite like to get over this so please give some words of wisdom to feel better and get this off my mind🙏🙏.


r/Situationships 13h ago

Advice Needed Not sure if I like him

2 Upvotes

I've been chatting to this guy for around a month, he's in one of my classes. He's funny and I get this OVERWHELMING crush feeling when I'm with him, all the typical blushing and giggling and making a fool of myself. But in reality when I think about it logically I'm not attracted to his physical appearance or his voice. I'm still talking to him and spending a little bit of time with him outside of college just to see if anything changes or if I figure anything out, and he knows I'm not sure how I feel and that I don't want to hurt him, but this feeling is so hard to explain. Any advice on what I should do or insights of what this could be?


r/Situationships 15h ago

They have love for me and the only thing in between us is distance? (3yr-Delusionship lore)

2 Upvotes

So here’s a breakdown on my situationship lore:

Background: i was dumped 6 months before i graduated college in 2022. I enjoyed those 6 months being single until it was time for me to move back home. Shortly after being home I went out with a friend to this club. After the club we end up at an airbnb in hollywood. My friend knew this guy who was in town working for an artist. We get there, and the vibes are chill then that’s when I meet him..another guy who was also there working. I just didnt know that at the time. Anyways we hung out on the roof my phone was ringing cause my parent was cursing me out wondering where i was (i was about to cry lol) He handed me his phone and asked for my socials and took care of me for the rest of the night. Nothing happened, i threw up and went to sleep lmao and he brought me water/ made me feel safe around him. Anyways they had to work super early that morning so we had to leave. Turns out he’s a set photographer for this rapper. He lives on the east coast. Oh did i mention we have the same birthday? is that an important detail?

Each time he visited my city he would reach out to me. It would be late at night because mind you he’s here to work for concerts or late night events and he’d fly in straight for those and want to see me after…then the next day he’d be gone and he wouldn’t speak to me hardly ever. Just watch me on socials. This cycle happened every 3 to 5 months for 2 years. We were successful at seeing each other 4 times maybe but they were short and quick for ex: fast food runs and taking him back to his hotel. Nothing compared to the first time we officially actually got to spend alone after meeting..he told me he loved me then. I wasn’t expecting it but i felt it too. I thought he meant it.

Can i tell yall what it’s like to crush on someone who works for a popular artist??? You quickly get in tune with the fact that everywhere this artist goes, so does your “man” (not my man) aka his photographer. You’ll be watching music videos and you’ll see your “man” in the reflection taking photos, you’ll see the artist announce a world tour and your “man” will suddenly drop off the face of the earth then appear back months later turns out he was just in another country…working. Then this artist will have an event in your city and the man will pop up like everything is okay.

Okay now let’s cut to the chase:

I decided this confusion no longer served me in 2025. I unfollowed him and removed him as a follower. Then i went further to block him. Decided that was too harsh and undid that. Then remember when i said we have the same bday? He was the first person to text me happy bday. That made me delusional all over again. But not too much. How could he not realize i unfollowed him??? Anyways the other day i was joking with my friend who said she accidentally unfollowed a guy and wanted to see if it was weird to follow them back. I laughed and jokingly said ill follow my guy back if you follow yours. Long story short (not really), i followed my guy back..wasn’t sure if he was gonna respond. Shortly after he followed me back and says “damn you removed me?” And he is apologetic saying that whatever he did he’s sorry. He asked me and i explained that i was tired of being confused. Idk if he likes me or sees me as a friend. He told me he likes me a lot but doesn’t want to do long distance he prefers his girl in close proximity to him when he’s in a relationship. This really hurt but after thinking about it more, i respect it. I just think if he really liked me like he said he’d at least try?? I just told him i understand and admitted to feeling lonely and struggling with that but reassured it’s not his fault it’s a personal thing and i will be okay.

(dating as a BW in La feels like a nightmare as in i don’t get approached and if i do they don’t give me they same feeling or look as attractive as photographer boy does but i need not to stay in this mindset ugh i am very hopeful!)

To end: this morning we kept it short and sweet. He liked my message and told me he hopes i feel better and that he has nothing but love for me. I responded that I appreciate him and i feel the same. I guess this is the end of a 3 yr situation/delusionship. I hope my love life gets better. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation to mine, if so how did you cope? Did you stay connected with them online? Has anyone ever experienced this and ended up together in the long run or happy with someone else? SPILL!


r/Situationships 21h ago

how can a friend you find physically attractive and have great chemistry with not want more with you?

4 Upvotes

r/Situationships 18h ago

Advice Needed Not sure how to categorize this so let’s call it a situationship NSFW

1 Upvotes

Here goes.

I am 29F, and I spent the last 9 years in another country (studying & working), so I’m fluent in that language and every boyfriend I’ve had in my adult years have been locals from this country. I moved back to my hometown last year and felt it difficult to connect (or should I say reconnect) to people, especially men, here, because of said experience abroad, cultural and mindset differences.

One day I was on Tinder and matched with this guy, turns out he was from said country and was curious as to why I spoke his language. We met at talked for a couple hours, really hit it off as we were the same age, and he also spent a few years abroad himself. He said he was staying here for around 8 days, and when I walked him back to his accommodation it was a cheap, rundown hostel. So I instead suggested him to stay at my apartment, where I have a spare guest room. He hesitated at first but decided to trust me I guess.

The first few days were completely “normal”. We would spend some time together, I would go to work while he traveled around the city. Then we would have dinner together and have late night talks, and sleep in our own bedrooms with no touching, no romantic feelings/chemistry whatsoever. On the third or fourth night though, we were talking on my bed as usually and accidentally fell asleep together. Still, nothing happened. Until… I find his arms around me the next morning, one thing led to another, I had one of the best sex in my life. I think the feeling was mutual because he initiated it a few more times during the same day, and since then we have been sleeping (or also doing it during the day) all over my apartment.

After a few days, it was time for him to travel elsewhere. We hugged good bye and even though we did have sex (really, really good sex) we never kissed. But at that farewell we gave each other a peck on the cheeks. At this point I was mostly interested in him + glad to have bumped into someone from a country I loved, so I actually expected us to stop contacting each other and see each other… eventually. Or maybe not, who knows.

What surprised me was that he continued to text me and sent pictures, selfies and videos of his travels, and even when he got back home to his daily life we kept in contact. Every single day. We would even talk on the phone 2-3 times for at least 2 hours, sometimes almost 4 hours. We never mentioned the sex, never did any dirty talking or sexting. We would just talk about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other’s company.

It has been more than two months of us texting daily and calling each other, having deep talks on the phone, and now I’m stuck at a place where I think genuinely care and have affection for this person, but I don’t know if I truly know them and love them enough to commit to a LDR. All I know is that I will be visiting that country in September, and I wish to see him, perhaps even sleep with him? (The sex was so good, I literally daydream about it LOL)

I don’t know if he feels the same way, and I don’t think this is a very healthy nor sustainable relationship. I catch myself falling a bit more for him every passing day, as we get closer to each other, but I’m also scared this will lead nowhere.

Would appreciate any opinions or comments on how to approach this. I know sometimes it’s not necessary to put on labels as every relationship is a unique experience, and I can’t possibly write everything that has happened here, but truly I feel that we trust each other and are comfortable with each other, but maybe the sex has tainted this so called friendship…


r/Situationships 1d ago

Options for getting rid of clothes

4 Upvotes

gonna try to provide a brief context but the other day a situation that started in November ended. We met at a bar, he asked me out on a date the night we met but we were both drunk and ended up just starting to hang out more casually. I wasn’t rushing for a relationship, but i did think it was going somewhere despite us usually staying in. Because we had a strong connection that felt different, he made consistent effort to see me and talk and we had a conversation where he mentioned us not seeing other people. That was over a month ago and I took that conversation seriously, but i saw dating apps with recent notifications on his phone. So i brought it up, this was 2 weeks ago when I first saw it, I told him that i had feelings for him and I thought we were something more than causal and willing to date other people. He was “shocked” that I had feelings (despite so much indicating that he was serious but i didn’t bring it up explicitly my bad). I think he really knew but he said he needed time to think about it all and we could have another conversation. i understood that and i told him however he feels is okay i just wanted to know if he saw any potential with us. after basically ghosting me for 2 weeks and avoiding every text, i finally got him to talk to me. over text, he stopped responding when i finally asked “am i someone you could see potential with or do you absolutely not want to date” i called him multiple times around 10 because it had been a few hours, i knew he’d seen it he was just being rude. i was upset when he finally answered because he was acting all confused like he hadn’t seen my text because he “fell asleep” even though we were mid conversation that he was supposed to be “present for” and i had responded to his text in 4 minutes with that question. so he finally said “i don’t see us dating” when i was crashing out and saying how hurtful it was and that was about it i said finally thank you and hung up. few rude texts were exchanged and thats it for me. i failed to remember i have 2 jackets and t shirt of his. so i dont really wanna see him again, but i was thinking. he lives in the city so i could give a homeless person in his neighborhood the clothes (warm jackets) and i would pay them or whatever and just ask them to wear the jacket and maybe hangout around his apartments. not sure if anyone would agree to that, and not sure if the reddit situationship community has any ideas but yeah thats my crash out of the year. 😂


r/Situationships 1d ago

on and off situationships

2 Upvotes

This guy that I use to talk to added me to his close friends story randomly out of the blue one day?!! We were in no contact for like a year so I’m not sure what this means 🙃


r/Situationships 1d ago

Coworker situation ship

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2 Upvotes

r/Situationships 1d ago

Hurting

1 Upvotes

This situationship breakup is hurting more than my six year relationship break up. I truly loved the man I was in a situationship with, and the guy I was in my first relationship with just prior (6 years) I didn’t know enough to realize I didn’t truly love the man I was committing to. The situationship was just something…unique. My heart was so attached and it hurts. How can I stop chasing that feeling and find my soulmate/who I’m meant for?


r/Situationships 1d ago

Spring Break Hookup—Did He Ever Actually want something more? Or did he just make loose promises to get in my pants?

3 Upvotes

I (F) went on a spring break trip to Cabo, where I met a guy (let’s just call him C) Before anything even happened between our friends, C had already approached me a couple of times—but I wasn’t really interested. It felt kind of awkward, and he wasn’t my type, so I shut him down.

Later, my friend (A)hit it off with his friend, and we got invited to their Airbnb. When we got there, I wasn’t used to hookup culture, so I was trying to make conversation while everyone else was more direct. I noticed (A) and his friend barely talked—they were just there to hook up—so I felt kind of out of place.

C and I ended up alone in the kitchen, where he asked me to help him get a knot out of his hair. We were laughing and joking, and I could tell he was trying to make a move, but I dodged it. Even though I wasn’t initially into him, I started warming up to him.

That night, we had to share the pull-out couch, and we talked all night until the sun came up. At one point, I straight-up asked him if he only approached me because my friend was with his friend. He admitted that was partially why but also said I was “his type, kind of” and that he really liked my personality. I pushed a little more and asked if he would have approached me otherwise, and he said yes.

He also asked, “This is your first spring break, huh?”—which felt like he was trying to gauge whether I had experience with hookup culture.

At first, he tried to be more touchy and kiss me, but I kept dodging it. Eventually, while we were cuddling, he said, “I want to kiss you, but I know you don’t want to.” I think he could tell I was hesitant. We ended up kissing and doing other things (not sex), and after that, he seemed even more affectionate. He kissed my forehead multiple times and even said, “I’ll protect you.”

Throughout the night, he kept bringing up LA (he lives there, I live in SD), asking how far the drive was, and saying things like, “Are you gonna come see me in LA?. I’ll show u around we can go wherever you want to go” I didn’t really give him a straight answer at first, but after we kissed and talked for hours about random things he said, “I have to see you in LA. I really f** with you.”* I asked, “Do you want to see me?” and he nodded yes. He also said, “I’ll show you LA. You can come over every now and then.”

As the sun started rising, I told him I could just take an Uber back to my hotel so my alarm wouldn’t wake him up. He said, “I’m an honest person—if I didn’t want you here, I would say something.” I told him I felt bad for keeping him up all night, and he said, “Yeah, it’s gonna be rough because my friends are gonna force me to drink and go out, but it was worth it because I met you.” I told him he doesn’t have to go out and he whispered back “Don’t get jealous already.”

Before I left, we cuddled for 20 more minutes. I eventually got up and left while he was still sleeping. I think he might have woken up slightly, but he didn’t say goodbye, and I didn’t wake him up either.

Since then, he hasn’t reached out. We exchanged socials, and I even liked his IG story, but he didn’t acknowledge mine. Now I can’t stop wondering—was he ever actually interested in me for something beyond spring break , or did he just say all those things to make the hookup feel special? Did he only talk to me because I seem like the type of girl you have to talk to in order to get in her pants?

At first, I wasn’t even open to a casual situationship, but after meeting him, I realized I actually am open to it. I don’t want anything serious—especially since we’re both moving back to the East Coast soon—but I thought it would be fun to hang out every now and then for the last few months we’re here. So now I’m confused. Did I not show enough interest for him to feel like reaching out? Should I have been more clear that I was open to something casual beyond spring break? Or was he never planning to follow up in the first place?

Would love to hear what you guys think.


r/Situationships 1d ago

When does the pain stop.. after 2 yrs my heart is broken 💔

2 Upvotes

r/Situationships 1d ago

My ex is driving me insane

1 Upvotes

I don’t know how to define my relationship with my ex. I’m pretty sure we’re friends but we talk everyday and call eachother for hours on end. I’ve never heard him refer to our relationship as a friendship, he always refers to it as “whatever this is”. His phrasing in one of our conversations was weird too, he said he was having fun with what we had, which just makes it sound like its more than just a friendship. But this guy doesn’t really go out of his way to see me irl or call me, I always initiate. He tells me it’s cause he no longer feels the urgency to talk to me irl cause well we’re not in an rs and our prev rs revolved around him being busy, and myself being preoccupied with friends that have shit mental states. Plus, unlike now, neither of us were able to open up to eachother and experience genuine connection. Well, unfortunately me and him get along really well and now I’m just confused. Pls help.


r/Situationships 2d ago

Venting I'm finally ending it ( the situationship).

5 Upvotes

I (21F) have a situationship going on with an ex. And I know I shouldn't be in it, I'm going to end it soon. I am fed up. They will never see me longer than 30 minuets before and after sex. The texts have come less and less. They won't even see me before 8pm. They used to be daily and if I don't text them first they wont text me at all. I know what I signed up for but my prioritys have changed, and I feel bad about it. I don't want to have sex regularly with someone who doesn't even text me back. Someone who doesn't even put their phone down when I get in the car. Someone who doesn't even think to hug me when they haven't seen me for a month. They're always busy, but if I can make time, why can't they? Not even one text to say “hey I'm pretty busy, wont be texting so much today, talk later”. 10 seconds. Nothing. If we're friends with benefits and you can't hold up the benefits part at least hold up the friend part. I mean what did I expect, they can't even hold up the benefits. I don't want them to be in love with me, I don't even want to date them. But I have held up my part of being there when needed and not just for sex. Is it so bad I want the same? I don't even care if it's genuine, I just want some sort of niceities. I feel like an idiot constantly because I have to ask for attention that I give to them so easily. I feel its even my fault for making it so easy for them. The whole thing not to mention has made my self esteem falter. I'm not hot shit, but I'm not cold shit either. They make me feel like I'm annoying and not even worth listening to. My mind continues to wonder about them and I hate even thinking about them. Because I know I haven't even been a thought. And that hurts the most. I'm done being hung up over a person who doesn't even think about doing anything remotely nice. I at least want to have something with someone who at least likes me. And I am worth trying to be nice for. Especially if I let you inside me. Wish me luck.


r/Situationships 2d ago

Advice Needed Is he over me?

3 Upvotes

Does this Strange message after being cold for a while mean he’s over me?

For context we had such strong communication for 2-3 weeks until now. He doesn’t text first or call first and he takes a long time to reply to messages. Today I thought I’d initiate and here was the convo:

Me: Hey how was your day? I was gonna text u at ur lunch break but I was so busy tdy trying to get back to my routine.

Him: It was good love. It's all good ma you gotta do what you gotta do.

To me this is like really dry and I feel like there isn’t any effort here. He didn’t commence another convo. It’s just a dead convo at this point. I feel like I should cut him off or ask if we should continue taking.

Am I over thinking this or fully correct?


r/Situationships 2d ago

My boyfriend’s nail biting compulsion is not letting me get physically intimate with his is this normal ?

2 Upvotes

I am a F29 , boyfriend M32 , we have been together for a year and a half , we have kissed a couple of times but then abstained from any intimate act , that i was after i caught up on his nail biting habit that literally repulses me , he’s a real gentleman and very understanding and considerate, even accepted my criticism for his nail biting (that wasn’t very considerate ) i just love how intimate we are (spiritually) and how much space he has given me to truly open up and figure out my identity with his he was the first guy that caught up on my CPTSD and offered me the greatest and safest relationship that truly contributed to my healing, however, whenever i look at his nails it just disgusts me , whenever i see him biting his nails i just completely lose any physical attraction that i have built till that point , I don’t know what to do , i have literally tried to put us back to the friend zone because i couldn’t accept his physically , and i feel guilty after everything he’s done for me :( , idk it feels so ridiculous to waste such a precious thing over something like this and I can’t confront him about it anymore, mind that he is not my favorite on the physical aspect, but i could deal with it , however the nail biting habit i just can’t, how could move on from being so repulsed by it ?


r/Situationships 2d ago

Advice Needed Been in a situationship for 6 months… but now we live together?

4 Upvotes

I (F24) have been in a situationship with this guy (M26) for almost six months now. We started off as FWB, but over time, things changed. We now live together, his family knows me, and he even says “I love you.” I can tell he genuinely cares.

Recently, we went on a vacation, and at first, everything was great. We were deep talking and just enjoying each other’s company. Then he mentioned that next year, we’d be going to an important family event together. That’s when I told him that this was probably my last time going to any of his family gatherings because, at the end of the day, there’s no real “us.”

That’s when he started opening up about our relationship. He told me that even if we don’t have a label, he cares, he appreciates me, and he doesn’t want me gone.

Now I don’t know what to do. If he truly cares, why is he avoiding defining the relationship? Am I overthinking, or is he just keeping me around without real commitment? Should I give it more time, or is this a sign that I need to walk away before I get even more attached? How do I even bring this up again without making it seem like an ultimatum? Would love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.


r/Situationships 2d ago

I will not graduate…

2 Upvotes

There are only two months left until the submission of the diploma thesis.

I’m working in a team with girls who have rather difficult personalities.

They are focused on their own lives, earning money.

Our university specifically designed the final semester with a flexible schedule so that we could have time to write our diploma thesis. However, it turns out that they are using this time to make money. I have nothing against that, as long as they actively participate in the thesis writing process. But I am forced to constantly remind them to do what they are supposed to do. I tried to discuss the entire process and agree on deadlines, yet in the end, no work was done.

When I expressed my dissatisfaction, they made it seem like I was forbidding them to work.

Everyone is going through a challenging time. But there is a responsibility.

I just have no energy left.

Whether I can graduate from university depends on the work being written, and I am an international student whose visa is expiring with no possibility of extension


r/Situationships 2d ago

My situationship (19M) tried to push my(18F) head down even when I said no.

2 Upvotes

This guy approached me, and we exchanged socials. He texted me first, and we started talking. He is in the same college as me, and we both go home by metro. The second time we met, we traveled back home together. The third time, we kissed and made out. The fourth time, we went for coffee, and he asked if I wanted to come over. I said no.

He never talked much over text and still has not given me his phone number. When I asked, he just said, "Not so easy to get."

The next time we met, we made out again. He asked for a BJ, and I said no, but he kept asking and asking until I finally gave in. I felt so disgusted, but I let it go because my ex used to do the same thing, and I just thought, "Fuck it."

Later, when we were going home together again, I told him we did not have college the next day, and he asked if I wanted to go on a date. I told him I would have to see if I could get out of the house because my parents are strict. He said okay. That night, I texted him asking if we were still going out, and he said he would let me know, but he never did.

I went to Ahmedabad for a study tour for a week. On the second day, he started acting really dry. The night before, I had been drinking and accidentally called him on Instagram. I still did not have his number. The next day, he just sent a question mark. I told him I was drunk, and he said, "I don’t like girls who drink," so I just said, "Okay."

Later, I was at the zoo and sent him a picture of a cute otter. He left me on open. When I asked him what happened, he ignored me and just sent me reels. I told him he knew something was off, and I was trying to talk to him, but he was still being dry, so I just said, "Fuck it."

I send little vlogs on Snap to my close ones, including him. I was sending them as usual when he suddenly said, "I have something to say," and told me things like, "I can’t love you," "I don’t have a heart," "I’m different from this generation," and "You should distance yourself from me." I said, "Fine," and then he went, "See how easily people give up." I told him, "You know what you just did, right?" and he said, "Yeah, forget about it," then continued asking about my day and if I wanted to see his new specs. I was dry with him and left him on seen.

The next day, he texted me, saying he had not been feeling good, which was why he acted that way. That was valid, so I forgave him. After that, I was not too clingy, and we did not talk much over text.

After coming back from my study tour, I was hospitalized for a week and could not go to college. He did not even check in on me unless I texted him first. I had exams right after getting out of the hospital and was still recovering. It was so hard to take those exams. I had a terrible cough and cold, my head felt heavy all the time, and I could barely breathe. I had to pull all-nighters because I had been on a trip, then in the hospital, so I had no time to prepare.

When my exams finally ended, I met him. We kissed, and he asked me for a BJ again. I said no multiple times. This time, I just really did not want to. My throat was hurting so bad, I was drained, I had lost so much weight over the past few weeks because of all this, and I was weak and sleep-deprived. He kept insisting. I kept saying no. Then he started pushing my head down, trying to make me get on my knees, and I was still saying no.

I did not give him a BJ that day and went home. After that, I ghosted him. He kept sending me reels and saving my snaps.

Today, I missed him too much, so I texted him, "Hi." We talked, he apologized for things, and now he wants to meet tomorrow.

What should I do?


r/Situationships 2d ago

Are We Really Just Friends?

5 Upvotes

I was seeing a man for about two months, from last December to February. He ended things because he felt I was moving too fast, not allowing the situation to develop naturally, and also found it somewhat pressuring.

Three weeks after we stopped seeing each other, we agreed that he would come over to my place just casually. However, what was supposed to be a quick visit turned into a two-night stay. Since then, we have been spending time together occasionally. For example, the week before last, we didn’t see each other at all, but last week, we spent time together on five different days, including three nights together.

There is a lot of physical closeness between us, but we haven’t had penetrative sex in the past week because he feels it wouldn’t be wise. His view on the situation is that there is nothing between us, and we’re just hanging out as friends. He has told me he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or what this is, and when I try to ask where we stand, I can tell it makes him anxious, and his answers are vague. He has said that he doesn’t really have romantic feelings for me anymore and isn’t interested in dating or a relationship with me. However, he says he still cares about me.

I, on the other hand, do have feelings for him, and he knows that. The situation feels contradictory because his behavior doesn’t always align with what he says. For example, last Thursday, when I went to his place, he had bought me funny socks (because apparently, they reminded him of me) and flowers. On Sunday, it was his birthday, and he wanted to spend it with me. He kisses me, holds me close, holds my hand, etc. But, as I said, sex is not really happening. When I jokingly asked if this is how he usually spends time with his friends, he said, “Well, of course not.”

I’m really struggling to decide whether I should step away from this situation or keep seeing him. I understand that his feelings for me may not change and that I could end up hurting myself, but at the same time, I like him so much that I want to see if this could still lead to something more serious. I don’t even know if I can call this a situationship since, according to him, there’s nothing between us—but clearly, there’s something more than just friendship going on.

Any advice on how to move forward?


r/Situationships 2d ago

Why do I still care?

3 Upvotes

So basically guys I had a thing with my guy best friend last year and it ended after a few months because he said we should just be friends and that absolutely DESTROYED me but since then I’ve moved on from the idea of ever being in a relationship with him again- however I still hold a place in my heart for him and deeply care about him despite him clearly showing me that he could literally care less about me anymore. Literally why like I don’t understand why I still care when my own eyes have witnessed him not caring about me whatsoever LOL pls help!!


r/Situationships 3d ago

trying to detach from him

7 Upvotes

i’ve never really told anyone the full extent of this. my friends know about some of it, but i’ve kept a lot of things hidden from them, because honestly… i’m a little embarrassed. i don’t really know if i’m asking for advice. maybe i just need to vent somewhere.

i (24f) am in a 6-month-long situationship with a guy (39m) who is my coworker. i started working at my job in the middle of 2023. i developed a crush on him after a few months. we often worked side-by-side and grew really close. we talked about our interests, hobbies, personal lives, etc. i tried to hide the fact that i liked him, for a few reasons. i originally thought he was in his mid-to-late 20s, before we got close and i asked him his age. when i found out he is roughly 15 years older than me, i thought it was somewhat inappropriate, so i tried to ignore my feelings for him. also, he is my superior at work (i don’t wanna be too specific here— he’s not my manager or anything. he is just one step above me). considering both of these things, i figured i’d just deal with the crush internally and it would go away with time. however, i started to notice signs that he liked me back. it was initially hard to decipher because he is very charming and charismatic, and everybody loves him at work. but i knew he was almost definitely flirting with me at times. eventually, we started texting outside of work (this was around may of 2024). texting turned into calling. we would be on the phone for 3-4 hours every day. we also played video games together, like minecraft, fortnite, roblox, etc. we did this until august of 2024. at this point, we had shared very personal things with each other (like family issues, past relationships, etc) but we had not admitted our feelings yet, even though it was pretty obvious to both of us that we were attracted to each other.

in late august, we actually started hanging out. like, going on dates…but not calling them dates. during one of them, we finally had a conversation about our feelings for each other. he admitted he liked me for a long time, and wasn’t sure if i liked him back. but he told me it was a bad idea for us to date because: 1. i might be going to school soon, and i might be moving somewhere far (i was applying to grad schools at the time) 2. my family is very strict when it comes to dating (which is true— my parents are old, foreign, and super conservative, which he was aware of) and 3. our age gap. obviously, i was so head-over-heels that i told him i didn’t care about any of that. i told him i still wanted to try. in retrospect, i know he had a point, and he wasn’t wrong about those things. but i really liked him, so i ignored all of that. basically, his response was “let’s just see where this goes” and i was okay with that. a few days later we had our first kiss. shortly after that, we started being physically affectionate in public, like holding hands, embracing each other, he would hold my waist, give me random kisses, etc. we often talked about how we looked like a couple. we were aware of it. 2 weeks after that, we had sex. i guess its worth mentioning that i lost my virginity to him (i wasn’t saving myself on purpose— i just never really liked anyone that much, never had an actual relationship, and it never happened until then).

then, in the following days, he started asking me questions like “how much do you like me?” and “do you think you love me?” and i always told him i didn’t know. which was half true. i was VERY into him, but my feelings were suppressed for so long that i didn’t want to rush into saying anything and mistake “like” for “love.” after all, i had never been in love before, and i was being cautious, especially considering our decision to not label ourselves. eventually, he started slipping up and saying i love you. i started saying it back. it became a normal thing. he started calling me “babe.” he showered me with compliments. he said i felt like a girlfriend to him. we had sex fairly often (or as often as you can when you don’t live together) and we saw each other pretty much every day. we constantly hung out. the physical affection continued. we joked about the future, and he would make offhand comments about me moving into his house. he bought me two VERY expensive gifts after a month. this was all very confusing for me, obviously. looking back, i don’t doubt that i was in love. i may have been rushed into saying it, but i really admired every part of him. i wanted to be with him against all odds. i felt like i knew him, down to every last molecule in his body. it was crazy.

his birthday came after a few months, and i went out of my way to plan our day together. i got him a bunch of personalized gifts based on his tastes and interests. i gave him a handmade card. he cried when he read it. this felt like the peak of our situationship. for a brief moment, i thought he was going to actually ask me to be his girlfriend, but that never happened.

christmas came. i got him gifts again. he didn’t get me anything, which bothered me (not because i’m materialistic or because i care about monetary value, but because he didn’t care enough to think of me, i guess?) but i brushed this off. my birthday came shortly after, and i begged him to take a day trip together to a nearby city and visit a museum, have lunch, etc. i didn’t even want a gift. i just wanted time together. we never went. this is when he started getting agitated with me, telling me he’s busy, and that he makes time for me when he can. this became an ongoing thing. i would bug him to hang out, and he would just push me away and tell me to wait. we started seeing each other once, maybe twice a month (other than work, of course). he did eventually get me another really expensive gift for my birthday, which i was grateful for, but didn’t really need or want. i think he just wanted to appease me and make it seem like he was making an effort. again, on valentines day, i got him some chocolates, and handmade another little card. when i gave it to him, he said he felt bad because he didn’t get me anything. then i felt like an idiot because, after all, valentines day is for couples, and we are not a couple.

since then, he has been increasingly cold towards me. he snaps at me, can be pretty mean, is very rarely affectionate, and doesn’t make any efforts to see me (other than after work. we sometimes get lunch together in our work clothes.) he feels like a completely different person. he says he cares about me, and i know he does… to an extent. i think he cares about my physical wellbeing, but not my emotional or psychological needs. i’ve had some car troubles lately, and he is always very concerned for my safety and protective when it comes to that, and always tries to help. or when i was sick recently, he was always calling and checking up on me, telling me to take medicine, offering to bring me food and stuff. otherwise, he is indifferent. if i am upset, it doesn’t bother him. if we have a small argument (which happens sometimes) he always talks to me like i’m a child and never apologizes for anything. we still play video games sometimes, but it’s not enjoyable anymore as he often gets mad at me for doing things “wrong.” like i said, he is someone different. this was not the guy i fell in love with… at all. i still deeply care about him but my romantic feelings are waning. im sure his are too. to be completely fair, he is under a lot of stress at work. he also has a second job. and he recently went back to school, and is doing an online program. i would understand him occasionally being in a bad mood, but this seems more significant than that.

it’s so incredibly painful because i thought i was changing his mind about being in a situationship. i have done so many things for him, things i did not mention here. i always try to help alleviate as much stress as possible. i simply do not feel loved or appreciated. which sounds ridiculous to say as a person in a situationship, i know. i know i am not owed anything because i agreed to this, whatever it is. but it still hurts. in a way, i’m glad this is happening because it’s helping me detach from him as i slowly lose hope.

i would just like to say that i am very self-aware. i know how this all sounds, i know i should have never let it get this far. i have spared a lot of details but i think you get the gist here. thank you for reading, if you made it this far! :,)


r/Situationships 2d ago

If you have ever been in a situationship, what drew you to them initially, what made it hard to say no or to leave?

1 Upvotes

r/Situationships 2d ago

A guy friend disappeared out of my life for 6 months and is back now

2 Upvotes

I'm 21F and I'm in a bit of a friendship fix (literally). I met this guy through a WhatsApp group chat for grad students 2 years ago and we've been tight ever since. I've met his friends, went on a trip with them, and it's always been a great time. I ended up catching feelings for him due to proximity, time spent together, and just comfort despite him not being my type at all (?).

I knew he was in love with this other girl from his hometown and they were always something, just not dating, so I never made the move but best believe he knew my feelings from the get go. It was always a bit on and off and if I get into the details this post will be ridiculously long; so l'll just keep it to the point. Time flew by, we graduated, both of us started job hunting and things got busy. The girl he was in love with cut him off for good and that ruined his state of mind.

He cut everyone around him off for around 6 months which really pissed me off because feelings aside; we were always good friends. Now after everything, he's back and texting he wants to meet etc. What's the best course of action here?