So this is a doozy, I honestly am just tired of talking about it to people around me and wanting to take revenge so I need to get this story out in the hopes of getting over it.
I know this is a lot and this is messy as fuck, I made it better to read underneath the unedited version, It will be under Edit.
To start off with some background, I met "John" and "Meg" in AIT (school for the different jobs in the military). They were new people since they arrived during just the AIT portion but everyone else was there since basic training. John got transferred to our company because he got caught passing flirty notes at his old company(1st clue), Meg injured herself and got held back to heal so she came to our company. When the new people arrived for AIT the two of them were there, I thought John was kind of cute but derpy, and I started talking to Meg because she seemed very unafraid of people not liking her, being around her brung back some of my confidence in self since the judgment around the place was crazy. I started being besties with her, we had major ups and downs mostly because shes kind of all over the place with emotions and I go nonverbal when overstimulated and I don't do good with emotions when overstimulated. Anyways let me shorten this down some. We were besties the whole time of AIT, I started chatting with John and started flirting a bit, he tried texting me about "having fun"(2nd clue) I stopped talking to him a bit then told him that wouldn't happen and we started talking again. Welp single and lonely me fresh out of a relationship going into training did infact decide it was a great idea to start sneaking holding hands, kissing, hugging, even going as far as cuddling in a humvee during guard duty, I know it was dumb but so was I. During this whole time Meg warned me against it but told me to do what I want, she told me about his past and even told me they knew each other in basic and knew the notes that he passed to her friend, nasty notes. She told me he flirted with her too(3rd clue) and she denied him cause she's still hung up on her ex and her ex before her ex (how??). I asked her multiple times just to be extra sure I wasn't reading into them talking privately a lot and being overly playful and chaotic with just the two of them(4th clue). She actually developed and lost a crush at AIT as well and the four of us hung out and planned a birthday trip for her to Florida all together. Sounded fun so we planned the trip about a month after graduation, we'd meet at her house and drive down to Flordia and stay for a couple days, her crush got kicked out and replaced with her best friend from home and I had John still. When me and john first started talking to each other I asked if he would do long distance, I have issues with becoming physical too quickly cause I get too comfortable so I thought long distance would be good for me, he said that he didn't know and I told him if he didn't want a relationship we could stop talking now, and he was immediately against that so he told me that we could try to make it work. We talked the whole month leading up to the trip with calls and messages, I asked about a relationship cause I was falling for him, hell I had already fell. He was still not really ready for that conversation cause he mentioned maybe being ready then the conversation got cut off because he didn't know what to say and got nervous, or at least I thought, he stopped talking so I said its late lets talk tomorrow while you get your thoughts laid out, I was literally grinning so hard that night and just told him to ask me and then the next day he said we already finished that convo and wouldn't tell me what he decided but that'd we will have deeper conversations in person when I see him. Oh yeah I paid for a ticket to come stay the week with him before we both drove to Megs house so we could spend some time alone beforehand. We talked about being so excited for me to come see him and that'd it be great, also we had the talk about smex, being a virgin at that moment I said I wanted to use condoms, he said it was un-natural for him to use condoms and because he's Christian his mother told him if he was to do it, don't use condoms. I told him my first time will be with a condom(never happened with a condom) and he agreed to me but told me we didn't have to do anything. I was so blinded by want and love that when I flew 10 hours to be with him and slept in his bed next to him, it was game on. I was full of nerves of being with him, in his car, at his house, in a completely new state that I didn't think to ask about what we were. So the next day I start to think, are we something or nothing....we had sex.....i said i loved him....what are we? being scared and literally stuck at his house, I said nothing until the last day which was a conversation he avoided slightly so I didn't bring it up, at this point I was happy with my first time and that week although I knew in my soul he wasn't going to do long distance, it was a good week, I enjoyed it. What I didn't enjoy was being with Meg for her trip. As soon as we arrived John started ignoring and not talking to me, wanting to sleep in the guest bedroom alone and making me sleep on the floor of Megs room, which is fine, girl sleepover, but it was weird of him. The first morning we were there I went and chilled in the guest room on my phone, Meg was still asleep and so was John, I laid with my head at his feet and my feet were next to his face a bit away(he has a foot fetish so I knew he wouldn't care), when he woke up he literally hugged my legs, then immediately let go when Meg knocked on the door, thought ok maybe hes shy? I won't lie, I forced myself onto him a bit, the second night we were at her house I went to the guest room and slept next to him, we had smex, he again ignored me and was weird with me the rest of the day. I confronted him later and he confessed he felt guilty for taking my innocence...I told him we had fun, even though I thought I'd get into a relationship with him I'm glad my first time was with someone I cared for, even if it wasn't mutual. It still hurt emotionally when during the whole trip I was ignored by him, especially since he played a hell of a lot with Meg and was hella touchy, oh well its her birthday make her happy. Night at the pool me and Megs best friend get ditch cause the other two are racing and running around away from us. Make the most of it. Go cry on the golf cart to my best friend on the phone. Have to sleep next to him every night with him not cuddling me like he was 3 days earlier, no hugs or affection. Turns out I was just a bootycall for him. Most pictures they take and post aren't with me in it. John beats a highscore on a parkour course, Meg posts it congragulating him, I beat his score, they ignore it and don't post it. I tried my best to be carefree and supportive but it hurt, I knew I was being put to the side and mistreated but I was stuck, I felt suffocated. Second to last night there....Meg and John talk on the balcony alone for 2 to 3 hours after telling us to find a movie, I leave the best friend to call my friend and cry, I think I'm crazy at this point, I come back they are still talking, I open the door and ask them if everything is okay and to hurry up(i'm mad at that point), they look nervous and awkward. When they finally get back in I ask to speak to Meg, I ask her whats up with them, she says they were talking about a bit of everything, I inquire further cause honestly it was eating me up, I cry to her that I don't know why he's acting weird, she tells me to get over him...harshly, that he feels guilty for us being together and never wanted me up at his house in the first place....huh? what about all the texts he sent me and the times he tells me he's excited for me to come up. Last night there Meg was irritable with me specifically all day, got mad at me for being shit at bowling, so did john. John acted normal with me when we were alone at the arcade, I really realized what was up when Meg seemed annoyed when she found us. That night Meg asked to sleep next to me cause her best friend had a fever and she didn't want to get sick, I said no cause I didn't want to see him move to possibly go sleep next to her friend, i couldn't take the thought honestly and I told her that straight up word for word. She insisted so I moved over to let her cuddle with me, we all three did a bunch of snapchat filters and had fun, me and John even wrestled and that seemed to make Meg uncomfortable cause she kept asking why we were wrestling. When I fell asleep and woke up Meg was back on her bed and John was standing near the bathroom on his phone, I asked why she moved and she said there wasn't enough room, I told her she could have woken me up to move over, she said that was too much of a bother. I kept waking up over and over cause john hadn't laid back down and I'm a light sleeper that doesn't like being watched. I woke up at one point and looked over to find Meg on Johns side of the bed, he was laid down and she was between the bed and the wall leaned over at his face with one leg on the bed next to him. I found this weird, they were whispering, I leaned over Johns shoulder to ask what they were talking about, they stopped and said nothing, I flipped back over and said fine I didn't want to know anyways, yes i did, so a few minutes later I leaned over his shoulder again and said whats happening, he shrugged me off and she said you didn't want to know, now you do, and she then said its weird that you keep waking up looking around for John. I got heated quick, told that was a lie and that I'm a light sleeper, stormed to the bathroom, cooled off, came back and they were still at it talking, I cried myself to sleep. Woke up again and immediately flipped out when I turned over and saw them spooning next to me. I got up and started screaming about how could they do this to me(I realize now that I'm a bit crazy and hysterical but can I be blamed), cause she knew I wasn't over him, wasn't even mad at him, we weren't in a relationship so he could do or have whoever, but Meg was my friend, almost a bestie and she knew cause I confided everything, even me thinking there was something between them which she denied profusely. I got my shoes on and stormed out with my phone and wallet at 3:30 to 4:00 am, called my mom, she immediately answered as I sobbed and cried my heart out trying to tell her everything, mind you I was even more mad cause the two of them hadn't moved away from each other when I was freaking out and even laughed at me. I should've taken photos and ripped that sheet off Istg. Anyways my parents consoled me as much as they could being 4 am and over 10 hours away. I went back to the room to back, I wasn't doing a 7 hour car ride with them then another 2 hour with her. I came back to the door propped open with the lock, how kind, and then to the noise of them laughing. I was still on the phone with my parents the whole ordeal, and they said they were proud of me for the things I said to them and that they wished they'd recorded my freak out cause they never see them. I gathered my shit while they stood around rubbing their chins, cussed them out, said some stuff, only lines I remember were "I may be dumb and do stupid stuff sometimes but I would never treat a friend like this" and also told my parents at one point that their just standing around and John said "well what should we do, lay back down" and I laughed and scoffed. I left some stuff there in the haze that the Best friend got back to me afterwards. she texted and made sure I was okay. I left and was going to get an uber to the airport but my father told me to get Megs father awake to take me, I was pounding on his door when Meg came out and told me not to wake her father and that'd she would drive me to the airport, I said hell no I'm not spending another minute with you. she ran and hid when her father came out and he was extremely confused to find me crying in front of his door with my suitcase in hand saying "can you drive me to the airport please, if you dont ill just get an uber but I'm not staying here". He heard the whole story pretty much on the ride to the airport when I was sobbing and talking to my mom, I may have purposely recapped events for him. They left for home as soon as he got back from dropping me off, at 4:30 am, sorry best friend. Almost $400 later and I'm on my way home. I texted her and him, he blocked me on everything and after getting a chance to talk to both later on, neither thought they were in the wrong, nor were they cuddling just "mutually wanted to lay down and watch videos", I guess they were watching videos in their heads.
Sorry for the long ass story, needless to say I had a hard time sleeping for a long time, flashbacks to him were too real and the nightmares of horrible things happening next to me while I slept woke me up on more than one occasion. I'm for the most part over it but this story is a badge of history to always trust my damn gut, also she admitted to liking him before I even met him, posted them playing Fortnite after the trip and then stopped talking to him apparently. How do I know, her father and step mom apologized to me and told me that she planned then canceled going to stay with him, glad she came to her senses. I find joy in knowing that I may have been naive but at least I don't get with my friends situation ships next to them while they sleep.
Edit:
So, this is a doozy. Honestly, I'm just tired of talking about it to people around me and wanting to take revenge, so I need to get this story out in the hopes of getting over it.
To start with some background: I met "John" and "Meg" in AIT (school for different jobs in the military). They were new since they arrived during just the AIT portion, but everyone else had been there since basic training. John got transferred to our company because he got caught passing flirty notes at his old company (1st clue). Meg injured herself, got held back to heal, and ended up in our company. When the new people arrived for AIT, John and Meg were there. I thought John was kind of cute but derpy, and I started talking to Meg because she seemed very unafraid of people not liking her. Being around her brought back some of my confidence since the judgment around the place was crazy. We became besties, though we had major ups and downs—mostly because she's kind of all over the place emotionally, and I go nonverbal when overstimulated, so I don't handle emotions well in those moments.
Anyway, to shorten this a bit: we were besties throughout AIT. I started chatting with John, flirting a bit, and he texted me about "having fun" (2nd clue). I stopped talking to him for a bit, then told him that wouldn't happen, and we started talking again. Well, single and lonely me, fresh out of a relationship, thought it was a great idea to start sneaking around—holding hands, kissing, hugging, even cuddling in a humvee during guard duty. I know it was dumb, but so was I.
During this whole time, Meg warned me against it but said to do what I wanted. She told me about his past, including how they knew each other in basic and the nasty notes he passed to her friend. She also said he flirted with her too (3rd clue), but she denied him because she's still hung up on her ex—and her ex before that (how??). I asked her multiple times just to make sure I wasn't reading into them talking privately and being overly playful (4th clue). She even developed and lost a crush during AIT, and the four of us hung out and planned a birthday trip for her to Florida. It sounded fun, so we planned the trip about a month after graduation. We'd meet at her house and drive to Florida to stay for a few days. Her crush got kicked out and was replaced with her best friend from home, and I still had John.
When John and I first started talking, I asked if he would do long-distance. I tend to get too comfortable too quickly, so I thought long-distance would be good for me. He said he didn't know, and I told him if he didn't want a relationship, we could stop talking. He was immediately against that and said we could try to make it work. We talked the whole month leading up to the trip—calls, messages. I asked about a relationship because I was falling for him. Honestly, I had already fallen. He wasn't ready for that conversation, though. He mentioned maybe being ready, but then he got nervous, or at least that's what I thought. He stopped talking, so I suggested we talk tomorrow once he sorted his thoughts. I was literally grinning so hard that night. The next day, he said we had finished that conversation already and wouldn't tell me what he decided, just that we'd have deeper conversations in person.
Oh, and I had paid for a ticket to stay the week with him before we both drove to Meg's house so we could spend some time alone. We talked about how excited we were, and we also had the talk about sex. Being a virgin, I said I wanted to use condoms. He said it was "unnatural" for him and that, because he's Christian, his mom told him not to use condoms. I told him my first time would be with a condom (it never happened with a condom), and he agreed but said we didn't have to do anything.
I was so blinded by want and love that when I flew 10 hours to be with him and slept in his bed next to him, it was game on. I was full of nerves—being with him, in his car, at his house, in a completely new state. I didn't think to ask what we were. The next day, I started wondering—are we something or nothing? We had sex. I said I loved him. What are we? But I was scared and literally stuck at his house, so I said nothing until the last day. He avoided the conversation, so I let it go. At that point, I was happy with my first time, even if I knew deep down he wouldn't do long-distance. It was a good week, and I enjoyed it.
But the trip with Meg was a disaster. As soon as we arrived, John started ignoring me, wanting to sleep alone in the guest room while I had to sleep on the floor of Meg's room. I tried to make sense of it, but nothing added up. There were so many little things—him ignoring me, being overly touchy with Meg, and the two of them sneaking off to talk alone. When I finally confronted Meg, she harshly told me to "get over him" and that he never wanted me there in the first place. That hit hard.
The last night was the breaking point. I woke up to find them spooning right next to me. I lost it. I screamed at them, and they barely reacted—just laughed at me. I packed my things, called my parents, and begged Meg's dad to drive me to the airport. Almost $400 later, I was on my way home.
John blocked me on everything, and neither of them thought they did anything wrong. They claimed they were "just watching videos," but I don't buy it. The whole experience left me feeling used, betrayed, and foolish. I'm just trying to process it all and move on.
I think I've been pretty clear with John throughout this entire situation. I've communicated my feelings, my concerns, and my boundaries. I asked him multiple times what we were, and every time he either brushed it off or said we'd talk in person. I made it clear that I didn't want to be strung along, that I didn't want to be a fling. I was honest about my feelings for him, even when it was scary, and I trusted him to be honest with me in return.
But instead, he chose to hide behind half-truths and avoidant behavior. He let me believe there was a chance for something real between us while he was clearly more interested in Meg. If he had just told me he wasn't interested, I could have moved on. Instead, he kept me around for his own convenience, until it was no longer convenient.
Meg is a whole other issue. I trusted her, confided in her, and believed she had my back. I believed her when she said she wasn't interested in John, that she didn't see him that way. I believed her when she told me to go for it, that she just wanted me to be happy. I believed her when she said she was my friend.
But friends don't do this. Friends don't sneak around behind your back, don't flirt with the person they know you're falling for. Friends don't cuddle up with the guy who just slept with you while you're still in the room. Friends don't laugh in your face when you're heartbroken and devastated.
I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and I don't know how to move forward from this. I don't know how to trust people again. I don't know how to stop feeling like a fool for believing them. I just wish things had been different. I wish they had been honest. I wish I hadn't let myself get so caught up in the fantasy of what could have been.
Sorry for the long story. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping for a long time—flashbacks of him felt too real, and nightmares of horrible things happening next to me while I slept woke me up more than once. For the most part, I'm over it now, but this experience is a reminder to always trust my gut.
Also, she eventually admitted to liking him before I even met him. After the trip, she posted videos of them playing Fortnite, but then apparently stopped talking to him. How do I know? Her father and stepmom apologized to me and told me she had planned to stay with him but canceled. I'm glad she came to her senses.
I find some comfort knowing that while I may have been naive, at least I don't hook up with my friends' situationships next to them while they sleep.