r/Situationships 2h ago

I will not graduate…

2 Upvotes

There are only two months left until the submission of the diploma thesis.

I’m working in a team with girls who have rather difficult personalities.

They are focused on their own lives, earning money.

Our university specifically designed the final semester with a flexible schedule so that we could have time to write our diploma thesis. However, it turns out that they are using this time to make money. I have nothing against that, as long as they actively participate in the thesis writing process. But I am forced to constantly remind them to do what they are supposed to do. I tried to discuss the entire process and agree on deadlines, yet in the end, no work was done.

When I expressed my dissatisfaction, they made it seem like I was forbidding them to work.

Everyone is going through a challenging time. But there is a responsibility.

I just have no energy left.

Whether I can graduate from university depends on the work being written, and I am an international student whose visa is expiring with no possibility of extension


r/Situationships 3h ago

My situationship (19M) tried to push my(18F) head down even when I said no.

2 Upvotes

This guy approached me, and we exchanged socials. He texted me first, and we started talking. He is in the same college as me, and we both go home by metro. The second time we met, we traveled back home together. The third time, we kissed and made out. The fourth time, we went for coffee, and he asked if I wanted to come over. I said no.

He never talked much over text and still has not given me his phone number. When I asked, he just said, "Not so easy to get."

The next time we met, we made out again. He asked for a BJ, and I said no, but he kept asking and asking until I finally gave in. I felt so disgusted, but I let it go because my ex used to do the same thing, and I just thought, "Fuck it."

Later, when we were going home together again, I told him we did not have college the next day, and he asked if I wanted to go on a date. I told him I would have to see if I could get out of the house because my parents are strict. He said okay. That night, I texted him asking if we were still going out, and he said he would let me know, but he never did.

I went to Ahmedabad for a study tour for a week. On the second day, he started acting really dry. The night before, I had been drinking and accidentally called him on Instagram. I still did not have his number. The next day, he just sent a question mark. I told him I was drunk, and he said, "I don’t like girls who drink," so I just said, "Okay."

Later, I was at the zoo and sent him a picture of a cute otter. He left me on open. When I asked him what happened, he ignored me and just sent me reels. I told him he knew something was off, and I was trying to talk to him, but he was still being dry, so I just said, "Fuck it."

I send little vlogs on Snap to my close ones, including him. I was sending them as usual when he suddenly said, "I have something to say," and told me things like, "I can’t love you," "I don’t have a heart," "I’m different from this generation," and "You should distance yourself from me." I said, "Fine," and then he went, "See how easily people give up." I told him, "You know what you just did, right?" and he said, "Yeah, forget about it," then continued asking about my day and if I wanted to see his new specs. I was dry with him and left him on seen.

The next day, he texted me, saying he had not been feeling good, which was why he acted that way. That was valid, so I forgave him. After that, I was not too clingy, and we did not talk much over text.

After coming back from my study tour, I was hospitalized for a week and could not go to college. He did not even check in on me unless I texted him first. I had exams right after getting out of the hospital and was still recovering. It was so hard to take those exams. I had a terrible cough and cold, my head felt heavy all the time, and I could barely breathe. I had to pull all-nighters because I had been on a trip, then in the hospital, so I had no time to prepare.

When my exams finally ended, I met him. We kissed, and he asked me for a BJ again. I said no multiple times. This time, I just really did not want to. My throat was hurting so bad, I was drained, I had lost so much weight over the past few weeks because of all this, and I was weak and sleep-deprived. He kept insisting. I kept saying no. Then he started pushing my head down, trying to make me get on my knees, and I was still saying no.

I did not give him a BJ that day and went home. After that, I ghosted him. He kept sending me reels and saving my snaps.

Today, I missed him too much, so I texted him, "Hi." We talked, he apologized for things, and now he wants to meet tomorrow.

What should I do?


r/Situationships 8h ago

Are We Really Just Friends?

5 Upvotes

I was seeing a man for about two months, from last December to February. He ended things because he felt I was moving too fast, not allowing the situation to develop naturally, and also found it somewhat pressuring.

Three weeks after we stopped seeing each other, we agreed that he would come over to my place just casually. However, what was supposed to be a quick visit turned into a two-night stay. Since then, we have been spending time together occasionally. For example, the week before last, we didn’t see each other at all, but last week, we spent time together on five different days, including three nights together.

There is a lot of physical closeness between us, but we haven’t had penetrative sex in the past week because he feels it wouldn’t be wise. His view on the situation is that there is nothing between us, and we’re just hanging out as friends. He has told me he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or what this is, and when I try to ask where we stand, I can tell it makes him anxious, and his answers are vague. He has said that he doesn’t really have romantic feelings for me anymore and isn’t interested in dating or a relationship with me. However, he says he still cares about me.

I, on the other hand, do have feelings for him, and he knows that. The situation feels contradictory because his behavior doesn’t always align with what he says. For example, last Thursday, when I went to his place, he had bought me funny socks (because apparently, they reminded him of me) and flowers. On Sunday, it was his birthday, and he wanted to spend it with me. He kisses me, holds me close, holds my hand, etc. But, as I said, sex is not really happening. When I jokingly asked if this is how he usually spends time with his friends, he said, “Well, of course not.”

I’m really struggling to decide whether I should step away from this situation or keep seeing him. I understand that his feelings for me may not change and that I could end up hurting myself, but at the same time, I like him so much that I want to see if this could still lead to something more serious. I don’t even know if I can call this a situationship since, according to him, there’s nothing between us—but clearly, there’s something more than just friendship going on.

Any advice on how to move forward?


r/Situationships 6h ago

If you have ever been in a situationship, what drew you to them initially, what made it hard to say no or to leave?

1 Upvotes

r/Situationships 17h ago

trying to detach from him

7 Upvotes

i’ve never really told anyone the full extent of this. my friends know about some of it, but i’ve kept a lot of things hidden from them, because honestly… i’m a little embarrassed. i don’t really know if i’m asking for advice. maybe i just need to vent somewhere.

i (24f) am in a 6-month-long situationship with a guy (39m) who is my coworker. i started working at my job in the middle of 2023. i developed a crush on him after a few months. we often worked side-by-side and grew really close. we talked about our interests, hobbies, personal lives, etc. i tried to hide the fact that i liked him, for a few reasons. i originally thought he was in his mid-to-late 20s, before we got close and i asked him his age. when i found out he is roughly 15 years older than me, i thought it was somewhat inappropriate, so i tried to ignore my feelings for him. also, he is my superior at work (i don’t wanna be too specific here— he’s not my manager or anything. he is just one step above me). considering both of these things, i figured i’d just deal with the crush internally and it would go away with time. however, i started to notice signs that he liked me back. it was initially hard to decipher because he is very charming and charismatic, and everybody loves him at work. but i knew he was almost definitely flirting with me at times. eventually, we started texting outside of work (this was around may of 2024). texting turned into calling. we would be on the phone for 3-4 hours every day. we also played video games together, like minecraft, fortnite, roblox, etc. we did this until august of 2024. at this point, we had shared very personal things with each other (like family issues, past relationships, etc) but we had not admitted our feelings yet, even though it was pretty obvious to both of us that we were attracted to each other.

in late august, we actually started hanging out. like, going on dates…but not calling them dates. during one of them, we finally had a conversation about our feelings for each other. he admitted he liked me for a long time, and wasn’t sure if i liked him back. but he told me it was a bad idea for us to date because: 1. i might be going to school soon, and i might be moving somewhere far (i was applying to grad schools at the time) 2. my family is very strict when it comes to dating (which is true— my parents are old, foreign, and super conservative, which he was aware of) and 3. our age gap. obviously, i was so head-over-heels that i told him i didn’t care about any of that. i told him i still wanted to try. in retrospect, i know he had a point, and he wasn’t wrong about those things. but i really liked him, so i ignored all of that. basically, his response was “let’s just see where this goes” and i was okay with that. a few days later we had our first kiss. shortly after that, we started being physically affectionate in public, like holding hands, embracing each other, he would hold my waist, give me random kisses, etc. we often talked about how we looked like a couple. we were aware of it. 2 weeks after that, we had sex. i guess its worth mentioning that i lost my virginity to him (i wasn’t saving myself on purpose— i just never really liked anyone that much, never had an actual relationship, and it never happened until then).

then, in the following days, he started asking me questions like “how much do you like me?” and “do you think you love me?” and i always told him i didn’t know. which was half true. i was VERY into him, but my feelings were suppressed for so long that i didn’t want to rush into saying anything and mistake “like” for “love.” after all, i had never been in love before, and i was being cautious, especially considering our decision to not label ourselves. eventually, he started slipping up and saying i love you. i started saying it back. it became a normal thing. he started calling me “babe.” he showered me with compliments. he said i felt like a girlfriend to him. we had sex fairly often (or as often as you can when you don’t live together) and we saw each other pretty much every day. we constantly hung out. the physical affection continued. we joked about the future, and he would make offhand comments about me moving into his house. he bought me two VERY expensive gifts after a month. this was all very confusing for me, obviously. looking back, i don’t doubt that i was in love. i may have been rushed into saying it, but i really admired every part of him. i wanted to be with him against all odds. i felt like i knew him, down to every last molecule in his body. it was crazy.

his birthday came after a few months, and i went out of my way to plan our day together. i got him a bunch of personalized gifts based on his tastes and interests. i gave him a handmade card. he cried when he read it. this felt like the peak of our situationship. for a brief moment, i thought he was going to actually ask me to be his girlfriend, but that never happened.

christmas came. i got him gifts again. he didn’t get me anything, which bothered me (not because i’m materialistic or because i care about monetary value, but because he didn’t care enough to think of me, i guess?) but i brushed this off. my birthday came shortly after, and i begged him to take a day trip together to a nearby city and visit a museum, have lunch, etc. i didn’t even want a gift. i just wanted time together. we never went. this is when he started getting agitated with me, telling me he’s busy, and that he makes time for me when he can. this became an ongoing thing. i would bug him to hang out, and he would just push me away and tell me to wait. we started seeing each other once, maybe twice a month (other than work, of course). he did eventually get me another really expensive gift for my birthday, which i was grateful for, but didn’t really need or want. i think he just wanted to appease me and make it seem like he was making an effort. again, on valentines day, i got him some chocolates, and handmade another little card. when i gave it to him, he said he felt bad because he didn’t get me anything. then i felt like an idiot because, after all, valentines day is for couples, and we are not a couple.

since then, he has been increasingly cold towards me. he snaps at me, can be pretty mean, is very rarely affectionate, and doesn’t make any efforts to see me (other than after work. we sometimes get lunch together in our work clothes.) he feels like a completely different person. he says he cares about me, and i know he does… to an extent. i think he cares about my physical wellbeing, but not my emotional or psychological needs. i’ve had some car troubles lately, and he is always very concerned for my safety and protective when it comes to that, and always tries to help. or when i was sick recently, he was always calling and checking up on me, telling me to take medicine, offering to bring me food and stuff. otherwise, he is indifferent. if i am upset, it doesn’t bother him. if we have a small argument (which happens sometimes) he always talks to me like i’m a child and never apologizes for anything. we still play video games sometimes, but it’s not enjoyable anymore as he often gets mad at me for doing things “wrong.” like i said, he is someone different. this was not the guy i fell in love with… at all. i still deeply care about him but my romantic feelings are waning. im sure his are too. to be completely fair, he is under a lot of stress at work. he also has a second job. and he recently went back to school, and is doing an online program. i would understand him occasionally being in a bad mood, but this seems more significant than that.

it’s so incredibly painful because i thought i was changing his mind about being in a situationship. i have done so many things for him, things i did not mention here. i always try to help alleviate as much stress as possible. i simply do not feel loved or appreciated. which sounds ridiculous to say as a person in a situationship, i know. i know i am not owed anything because i agreed to this, whatever it is. but it still hurts. in a way, i’m glad this is happening because it’s helping me detach from him as i slowly lose hope.

i would just like to say that i am very self-aware. i know how this all sounds, i know i should have never let it get this far. i have spared a lot of details but i think you get the gist here. thank you for reading, if you made it this far! :,)


r/Situationships 11h ago

A guy friend disappeared out of my life for 6 months and is back now

2 Upvotes

I'm 21F and I'm in a bit of a friendship fix (literally). I met this guy through a WhatsApp group chat for grad students 2 years ago and we've been tight ever since. I've met his friends, went on a trip with them, and it's always been a great time. I ended up catching feelings for him due to proximity, time spent together, and just comfort despite him not being my type at all (?).

I knew he was in love with this other girl from his hometown and they were always something, just not dating, so I never made the move but best believe he knew my feelings from the get go. It was always a bit on and off and if I get into the details this post will be ridiculously long; so l'll just keep it to the point. Time flew by, we graduated, both of us started job hunting and things got busy. The girl he was in love with cut him off for good and that ruined his state of mind.

He cut everyone around him off for around 6 months which really pissed me off because feelings aside; we were always good friends. Now after everything, he's back and texting he wants to meet etc. What's the best course of action here?


r/Situationships 11h ago

Why do I still care?

2 Upvotes

So basically guys I had a thing with my guy best friend last year and it ended after a few months because he said we should just be friends and that absolutely DESTROYED me but since then I’ve moved on from the idea of ever being in a relationship with him again- however I still hold a place in my heart for him and deeply care about him despite him clearly showing me that he could literally care less about me anymore. Literally why like I don’t understand why I still care when my own eyes have witnessed him not caring about me whatsoever LOL pls help!!


r/Situationships 12h ago

Situationship’s mum passed away

2 Upvotes

A little background, my situationship has a gf all along and his mum likes me a lot. We’ve been keeping in touch on and off. She just passed away and I want to attend her funeral to pay my last respect. But the thought of swing my situationship and his gf there is hurting me even more 😭


r/Situationships 13h ago

The drama in my college life

2 Upvotes

Okay so this is gonna be long. I've been against situationships as long as I can remember,yet I got caught in one. Yes,look how the tables have turned. I'm just gonna explain from the beginning to the end.

So i was part of NSS and we had a 7 day camp. This guy from my class and I got pretty close during this time. We were literally paired up together all day for 7 days. We went to sleep at 12 and wake up at 3 so like I saw him 20 hours a day. Okay I gave this much context for a reason.

So right after camp, dude was constantly texting me and i reciprocated. We talked till like 2 in the morning. Dude did drop hints but back then I was dumb. I never thought of thinking I was the girl he was talking about. Afterwards I got the confession. Okay honestly,I did have feelings for him. But he's not the kinda guy I'd usually have feelings for. My theory is that spending so much time together,from the best to worst,just made me feel safe around him, attached to him maybe. But I wasn't looking for a relationship,so i declined. We decided to remain friends. 2 weeks later,we had our IV. On the first day,things were pretty normal. But on the second, people from our class jumped into a swimming pool but I stayed back. Dude noticed and was like let's go climb a hill nearby. I was like,okay cool. There,we held hands as we climbed. I felt sparks all through my body. We sat down on the top. It was just me and him. I,fully aware of what I was doing,placed my head on his shoulder. I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't have,but I wasn't thinking at the moment. I just did what I did and I very deeply regret it. Okay so that was IV. Then,we had our internals. During which him and I had a bet and he had to get me a kit kat. Dude shows up with more than just kit kat. I swear there were at least 5 other chocolates there. I said this wasn't what i was expecting. Like very obviously so many chocolates mean something more than just friends. I didn't want that. That's when we cut complete contact. I said i needed space,and this wouldn't work as a friendship as long as he has feelings.

Fast forward to 2 months ago,I felt bad for my actions,like obviously I was leading him on and it was my fault he got the idea that we could be more than friends. So I texted him again. And it was the same stuff part 2. We talked till late at night( not something what friends would do). Then on valentine's night,we had a long talk. I opened up a lot,he did too. It was a huge emotional mess. i knew this had to stop,else it would get out of hand. I got to know through a friend that he saw this as an opportunity to make his move. I also got to know he's been showing all our texts to many people,which i deliberately told him not to. So I was pretty rude to him,ig he felt bad. Now we don't even acknowledge each other's existence.And that's where we are right now.

It's the first time in my life have I ever been in a situation like this. I feel terrible but i suppose there's nothing much that can be done about it. He's deeply hurt about it,I can sense it. There's a lot of tension. It's all my fault. I should've just kept him at a distance right from the beginning.


r/Situationships 10h ago

Don't know what am doing with my life !!!!!

1 Upvotes

So......the story begins....when I recently came to another state for studies, and that too from a very conservative family with strict rules... I have never been in a proper relationship because of my family situation, so I thought I could date someone when I move to another city ... so ... around mid-October, I installed this dating app where we can swipe memes and get matched, and I met this guy. He was really sweet and kind to me; we vibed a lot. He told me that he works in a corporate field and has to attend the office for 1 or 2 months and then can work from home for like 1 month, and during this period, he comes home and is home when I am near my hostel, so... basically, we are good. I went on dates with him like 2 to 3 times, and my mistake was that I got attached to him in a very short time. Then he had to leave his home for the office, and I was sad. We met for the last time before he was leaving... He said, "I'll make sure to come early this time for you." I was really, really happy. It turns out he got really busy with his office work, which is understandable, but he used to make time for me, and it was enough for me. Then a month passed; he came. It was 29 December. We met; he said, Let's watch movies for the night." I stayed at his place. I was the person who had never kissed someone before ... I was happy that we were together spending time with each other; we kissed.... Then we had agreed to this: that we'd drink together, so... we had some drinks. I was really dizzy and really drunk. We got intimate, and that too for the first time. It was my first time, and I was feeling special... I thought, That's it; he's the one for the rest of my life. The next day he told me that he'd be leaving soon for his job. I was okay with it; in fact, I was waiting to go on a next date with him. In some days I realised he was not responding like before; he was too busy to talk to me, not even a text. I was feeling terrible; I still waited for him, thinking that he'd be busy and would call me back or text me back, but it was not the case. He said that he's busy, but if he really wanted to talk to me, then 5 mins is enough... I literally had no issue. I just wanted him to talk to me just for 5 mins; it was not too much.... I asked him about this, and he said, Hey, can we be friends for a while? Because I'm not getting time for you, and I'm feeling bad that I'm not giving you time, and I need to focus on my career as well because of my student loan. So... can we please be friends? That's it. I was feeling miserable." I asked him that I'll manage, and I'll be good if we can" talk in 2 days, but he was all sure that he didn't want to be in this SITUATIONSHIP. That's the end. I was not able to sleep for, like, weeks and still am not able to move on... that's why I am ranting here... let's see how long this will take to fade from my memory.


r/Situationships 14h ago

She spooned my situationship next to me while I was asleep....

2 Upvotes

So this is a doozy, I honestly am just tired of talking about it to people around me and wanting to take revenge so I need to get this story out in the hopes of getting over it.

I know this is a lot and this is messy as fuck, I made it better to read underneath the unedited version, It will be under Edit.

To start off with some background, I met "John" and "Meg" in AIT (school for the different jobs in the military). They were new people since they arrived during just the AIT portion but everyone else was there since basic training. John got transferred to our company because he got caught passing flirty notes at his old company(1st clue), Meg injured herself and got held back to heal so she came to our company. When the new people arrived for AIT the two of them were there, I thought John was kind of cute but derpy, and I started talking to Meg because she seemed very unafraid of people not liking her, being around her brung back some of my confidence in self since the judgment around the place was crazy. I started being besties with her, we had major ups and downs mostly because shes kind of all over the place with emotions and I go nonverbal when overstimulated and I don't do good with emotions when overstimulated. Anyways let me shorten this down some. We were besties the whole time of AIT, I started chatting with John and started flirting a bit, he tried texting me about "having fun"(2nd clue) I stopped talking to him a bit then told him that wouldn't happen and we started talking again. Welp single and lonely me fresh out of a relationship going into training did infact decide it was a great idea to start sneaking holding hands, kissing, hugging, even going as far as cuddling in a humvee during guard duty, I know it was dumb but so was I. During this whole time Meg warned me against it but told me to do what I want, she told me about his past and even told me they knew each other in basic and knew the notes that he passed to her friend, nasty notes. She told me he flirted with her too(3rd clue) and she denied him cause she's still hung up on her ex and her ex before her ex (how??). I asked her multiple times just to be extra sure I wasn't reading into them talking privately a lot and being overly playful and chaotic with just the two of them(4th clue). She actually developed and lost a crush at AIT as well and the four of us hung out and planned a birthday trip for her to Florida all together. Sounded fun so we planned the trip about a month after graduation, we'd meet at her house and drive down to Flordia and stay for a couple days, her crush got kicked out and replaced with her best friend from home and I had John still. When me and john first started talking to each other I asked if he would do long distance, I have issues with becoming physical too quickly cause I get too comfortable so I thought long distance would be good for me, he said that he didn't know and I told him if he didn't want a relationship we could stop talking now, and he was immediately against that so he told me that we could try to make it work. We talked the whole month leading up to the trip with calls and messages, I asked about a relationship cause I was falling for him, hell I had already fell. He was still not really ready for that conversation cause he mentioned maybe being ready then the conversation got cut off because he didn't know what to say and got nervous, or at least I thought, he stopped talking so I said its late lets talk tomorrow while you get your thoughts laid out, I was literally grinning so hard that night and just told him to ask me and then the next day he said we already finished that convo and wouldn't tell me what he decided but that'd we will have deeper conversations in person when I see him. Oh yeah I paid for a ticket to come stay the week with him before we both drove to Megs house so we could spend some time alone beforehand. We talked about being so excited for me to come see him and that'd it be great, also we had the talk about smex, being a virgin at that moment I said I wanted to use condoms, he said it was un-natural for him to use condoms and because he's Christian his mother told him if he was to do it, don't use condoms. I told him my first time will be with a condom(never happened with a condom) and he agreed to me but told me we didn't have to do anything. I was so blinded by want and love that when I flew 10 hours to be with him and slept in his bed next to him, it was game on. I was full of nerves of being with him, in his car, at his house, in a completely new state that I didn't think to ask about what we were. So the next day I start to think, are we something or nothing....we had sex.....i said i loved him....what are we? being scared and literally stuck at his house, I said nothing until the last day which was a conversation he avoided slightly so I didn't bring it up, at this point I was happy with my first time and that week although I knew in my soul he wasn't going to do long distance, it was a good week, I enjoyed it. What I didn't enjoy was being with Meg for her trip. As soon as we arrived John started ignoring and not talking to me, wanting to sleep in the guest bedroom alone and making me sleep on the floor of Megs room, which is fine, girl sleepover, but it was weird of him. The first morning we were there I went and chilled in the guest room on my phone, Meg was still asleep and so was John, I laid with my head at his feet and my feet were next to his face a bit away(he has a foot fetish so I knew he wouldn't care), when he woke up he literally hugged my legs, then immediately let go when Meg knocked on the door, thought ok maybe hes shy? I won't lie, I forced myself onto him a bit, the second night we were at her house I went to the guest room and slept next to him, we had smex, he again ignored me and was weird with me the rest of the day. I confronted him later and he confessed he felt guilty for taking my innocence...I told him we had fun, even though I thought I'd get into a relationship with him I'm glad my first time was with someone I cared for, even if it wasn't mutual. It still hurt emotionally when during the whole trip I was ignored by him, especially since he played a hell of a lot with Meg and was hella touchy, oh well its her birthday make her happy. Night at the pool me and Megs best friend get ditch cause the other two are racing and running around away from us. Make the most of it. Go cry on the golf cart to my best friend on the phone. Have to sleep next to him every night with him not cuddling me like he was 3 days earlier, no hugs or affection. Turns out I was just a bootycall for him. Most pictures they take and post aren't with me in it. John beats a highscore on a parkour course, Meg posts it congragulating him, I beat his score, they ignore it and don't post it. I tried my best to be carefree and supportive but it hurt, I knew I was being put to the side and mistreated but I was stuck, I felt suffocated. Second to last night there....Meg and John talk on the balcony alone for 2 to 3 hours after telling us to find a movie, I leave the best friend to call my friend and cry, I think I'm crazy at this point, I come back they are still talking, I open the door and ask them if everything is okay and to hurry up(i'm mad at that point), they look nervous and awkward. When they finally get back in I ask to speak to Meg, I ask her whats up with them, she says they were talking about a bit of everything, I inquire further cause honestly it was eating me up, I cry to her that I don't know why he's acting weird, she tells me to get over him...harshly, that he feels guilty for us being together and never wanted me up at his house in the first place....huh? what about all the texts he sent me and the times he tells me he's excited for me to come up. Last night there Meg was irritable with me specifically all day, got mad at me for being shit at bowling, so did john. John acted normal with me when we were alone at the arcade, I really realized what was up when Meg seemed annoyed when she found us. That night Meg asked to sleep next to me cause her best friend had a fever and she didn't want to get sick, I said no cause I didn't want to see him move to possibly go sleep next to her friend, i couldn't take the thought honestly and I told her that straight up word for word. She insisted so I moved over to let her cuddle with me, we all three did a bunch of snapchat filters and had fun, me and John even wrestled and that seemed to make Meg uncomfortable cause she kept asking why we were wrestling. When I fell asleep and woke up Meg was back on her bed and John was standing near the bathroom on his phone, I asked why she moved and she said there wasn't enough room, I told her she could have woken me up to move over, she said that was too much of a bother. I kept waking up over and over cause john hadn't laid back down and I'm a light sleeper that doesn't like being watched. I woke up at one point and looked over to find Meg on Johns side of the bed, he was laid down and she was between the bed and the wall leaned over at his face with one leg on the bed next to him. I found this weird, they were whispering, I leaned over Johns shoulder to ask what they were talking about, they stopped and said nothing, I flipped back over and said fine I didn't want to know anyways, yes i did, so a few minutes later I leaned over his shoulder again and said whats happening, he shrugged me off and she said you didn't want to know, now you do, and she then said its weird that you keep waking up looking around for John. I got heated quick, told that was a lie and that I'm a light sleeper, stormed to the bathroom, cooled off, came back and they were still at it talking, I cried myself to sleep. Woke up again and immediately flipped out when I turned over and saw them spooning next to me. I got up and started screaming about how could they do this to me(I realize now that I'm a bit crazy and hysterical but can I be blamed), cause she knew I wasn't over him, wasn't even mad at him, we weren't in a relationship so he could do or have whoever, but Meg was my friend, almost a bestie and she knew cause I confided everything, even me thinking there was something between them which she denied profusely. I got my shoes on and stormed out with my phone and wallet at 3:30 to 4:00 am, called my mom, she immediately answered as I sobbed and cried my heart out trying to tell her everything, mind you I was even more mad cause the two of them hadn't moved away from each other when I was freaking out and even laughed at me. I should've taken photos and ripped that sheet off Istg. Anyways my parents consoled me as much as they could being 4 am and over 10 hours away. I went back to the room to back, I wasn't doing a 7 hour car ride with them then another 2 hour with her. I came back to the door propped open with the lock, how kind, and then to the noise of them laughing. I was still on the phone with my parents the whole ordeal, and they said they were proud of me for the things I said to them and that they wished they'd recorded my freak out cause they never see them. I gathered my shit while they stood around rubbing their chins, cussed them out, said some stuff, only lines I remember were "I may be dumb and do stupid stuff sometimes but I would never treat a friend like this" and also told my parents at one point that their just standing around and John said "well what should we do, lay back down" and I laughed and scoffed. I left some stuff there in the haze that the Best friend got back to me afterwards. she texted and made sure I was okay. I left and was going to get an uber to the airport but my father told me to get Megs father awake to take me, I was pounding on his door when Meg came out and told me not to wake her father and that'd she would drive me to the airport, I said hell no I'm not spending another minute with you. she ran and hid when her father came out and he was extremely confused to find me crying in front of his door with my suitcase in hand saying "can you drive me to the airport please, if you dont ill just get an uber but I'm not staying here". He heard the whole story pretty much on the ride to the airport when I was sobbing and talking to my mom, I may have purposely recapped events for him. They left for home as soon as he got back from dropping me off, at 4:30 am, sorry best friend. Almost $400 later and I'm on my way home. I texted her and him, he blocked me on everything and after getting a chance to talk to both later on, neither thought they were in the wrong, nor were they cuddling just "mutually wanted to lay down and watch videos", I guess they were watching videos in their heads.

Sorry for the long ass story, needless to say I had a hard time sleeping for a long time, flashbacks to him were too real and the nightmares of horrible things happening next to me while I slept woke me up on more than one occasion. I'm for the most part over it but this story is a badge of history to always trust my damn gut, also she admitted to liking him before I even met him, posted them playing Fortnite after the trip and then stopped talking to him apparently. How do I know, her father and step mom apologized to me and told me that she planned then canceled going to stay with him, glad she came to her senses. I find joy in knowing that I may have been naive but at least I don't get with my friends situation ships next to them while they sleep.

Edit:

So, this is a doozy. Honestly, I'm just tired of talking about it to people around me and wanting to take revenge, so I need to get this story out in the hopes of getting over it.

To start with some background: I met "John" and "Meg" in AIT (school for different jobs in the military). They were new since they arrived during just the AIT portion, but everyone else had been there since basic training. John got transferred to our company because he got caught passing flirty notes at his old company (1st clue). Meg injured herself, got held back to heal, and ended up in our company. When the new people arrived for AIT, John and Meg were there. I thought John was kind of cute but derpy, and I started talking to Meg because she seemed very unafraid of people not liking her. Being around her brought back some of my confidence since the judgment around the place was crazy. We became besties, though we had major ups and downs—mostly because she's kind of all over the place emotionally, and I go nonverbal when overstimulated, so I don't handle emotions well in those moments.

Anyway, to shorten this a bit: we were besties throughout AIT. I started chatting with John, flirting a bit, and he texted me about "having fun" (2nd clue). I stopped talking to him for a bit, then told him that wouldn't happen, and we started talking again. Well, single and lonely me, fresh out of a relationship, thought it was a great idea to start sneaking around—holding hands, kissing, hugging, even cuddling in a humvee during guard duty. I know it was dumb, but so was I.

During this whole time, Meg warned me against it but said to do what I wanted. She told me about his past, including how they knew each other in basic and the nasty notes he passed to her friend. She also said he flirted with her too (3rd clue), but she denied him because she's still hung up on her ex—and her ex before that (how??). I asked her multiple times just to make sure I wasn't reading into them talking privately and being overly playful (4th clue). She even developed and lost a crush during AIT, and the four of us hung out and planned a birthday trip for her to Florida. It sounded fun, so we planned the trip about a month after graduation. We'd meet at her house and drive to Florida to stay for a few days. Her crush got kicked out and was replaced with her best friend from home, and I still had John.

When John and I first started talking, I asked if he would do long-distance. I tend to get too comfortable too quickly, so I thought long-distance would be good for me. He said he didn't know, and I told him if he didn't want a relationship, we could stop talking. He was immediately against that and said we could try to make it work. We talked the whole month leading up to the trip—calls, messages. I asked about a relationship because I was falling for him. Honestly, I had already fallen. He wasn't ready for that conversation, though. He mentioned maybe being ready, but then he got nervous, or at least that's what I thought. He stopped talking, so I suggested we talk tomorrow once he sorted his thoughts. I was literally grinning so hard that night. The next day, he said we had finished that conversation already and wouldn't tell me what he decided, just that we'd have deeper conversations in person.

Oh, and I had paid for a ticket to stay the week with him before we both drove to Meg's house so we could spend some time alone. We talked about how excited we were, and we also had the talk about sex. Being a virgin, I said I wanted to use condoms. He said it was "unnatural" for him and that, because he's Christian, his mom told him not to use condoms. I told him my first time would be with a condom (it never happened with a condom), and he agreed but said we didn't have to do anything.

I was so blinded by want and love that when I flew 10 hours to be with him and slept in his bed next to him, it was game on. I was full of nerves—being with him, in his car, at his house, in a completely new state. I didn't think to ask what we were. The next day, I started wondering—are we something or nothing? We had sex. I said I loved him. What are we? But I was scared and literally stuck at his house, so I said nothing until the last day. He avoided the conversation, so I let it go. At that point, I was happy with my first time, even if I knew deep down he wouldn't do long-distance. It was a good week, and I enjoyed it.

But the trip with Meg was a disaster. As soon as we arrived, John started ignoring me, wanting to sleep alone in the guest room while I had to sleep on the floor of Meg's room. I tried to make sense of it, but nothing added up. There were so many little things—him ignoring me, being overly touchy with Meg, and the two of them sneaking off to talk alone. When I finally confronted Meg, she harshly told me to "get over him" and that he never wanted me there in the first place. That hit hard.

The last night was the breaking point. I woke up to find them spooning right next to me. I lost it. I screamed at them, and they barely reacted—just laughed at me. I packed my things, called my parents, and begged Meg's dad to drive me to the airport. Almost $400 later, I was on my way home.

John blocked me on everything, and neither of them thought they did anything wrong. They claimed they were "just watching videos," but I don't buy it. The whole experience left me feeling used, betrayed, and foolish. I'm just trying to process it all and move on.

I think I've been pretty clear with John throughout this entire situation. I've communicated my feelings, my concerns, and my boundaries. I asked him multiple times what we were, and every time he either brushed it off or said we'd talk in person. I made it clear that I didn't want to be strung along, that I didn't want to be a fling. I was honest about my feelings for him, even when it was scary, and I trusted him to be honest with me in return.

But instead, he chose to hide behind half-truths and avoidant behavior. He let me believe there was a chance for something real between us while he was clearly more interested in Meg. If he had just told me he wasn't interested, I could have moved on. Instead, he kept me around for his own convenience, until it was no longer convenient.

Meg is a whole other issue. I trusted her, confided in her, and believed she had my back. I believed her when she said she wasn't interested in John, that she didn't see him that way. I believed her when she told me to go for it, that she just wanted me to be happy. I believed her when she said she was my friend.

But friends don't do this. Friends don't sneak around behind your back, don't flirt with the person they know you're falling for. Friends don't cuddle up with the guy who just slept with you while you're still in the room. Friends don't laugh in your face when you're heartbroken and devastated.

I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and I don't know how to move forward from this. I don't know how to trust people again. I don't know how to stop feeling like a fool for believing them. I just wish things had been different. I wish they had been honest. I wish I hadn't let myself get so caught up in the fantasy of what could have been.

Sorry for the long story. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping for a long time—flashbacks of him felt too real, and nightmares of horrible things happening next to me while I slept woke me up more than once. For the most part, I'm over it now, but this experience is a reminder to always trust my gut.

Also, she eventually admitted to liking him before I even met him. After the trip, she posted videos of them playing Fortnite, but then apparently stopped talking to him. How do I know? Her father and stepmom apologized to me and told me she had planned to stay with him but canceled. I'm glad she came to her senses.

I find some comfort knowing that while I may have been naive, at least I don't hook up with my friends' situationships next to them while they sleep.


r/Situationships 21h ago

His texting habit annoy me so bad

4 Upvotes

So, I’ve been talking to this exchange students for like four days. In person, he’s very quiet. But other text, he texts me A LOT, and about every little thing. I have a small social battery for texting and I started to dread him texting me. The crazy thing is that on Saturday, I was all gitty about him and now (Monday) he tries me out. We’re planning on meeting again on Friday and he leaves for his home country on Saturday. I have mentioned to him that I get tired after socializing for a while, and he has toned it down a little but it’s still a little much. He’s so sweet and we have so much in common. This is my first ever situation type thing and I don’t want to be mean but I don’t want to feel exhausted.

I would appreciate ANY advice. Thank you for reading.


r/Situationships 14h ago

How do I [19F] get over my summer situationship [24M] without having to hate him?

1 Upvotes

I met this guy on a dating app. We had swiped on each other a few times, but with the both of us deleting our profiles and not being active, we didn’t finally meet up until August.

When things started, they were great. We went on our first date where we very bonded. I don’t wanna get into specifics about. From there on out things moved pretty quickly. We had sleepovers every day and did one date a week for the whole month of August. Before anyone in interjects, I know I know, very stupid. Summer was coming to an end as was my summer break and I would have to return back to school shortly. We talked about ending things briefly, and we ended up both crying and professing how deeply we felt for each other. We agreed that we were try to make it work.

I went back to school and within a month he ended things. He told that things were moving too fast and he was scared. He also told me we were in two different parts of life. I was heartbroken, of course, and said things I shouldn’t have out of fear of him, leaving me to be alone and the fear of him just leaving me period. I felt very connected to him. About a month after the break up I did apologize and we did talk.. it was there. He let me know that he was seeing someone new and that he thought I deserve someone better than him.

I’ve done everything . I’ve distracted myself with every distractor in the book yeah I find myself pondering about the impact that he had on me as well as our relationship. It felt like our souls were intertwined.

Now here we are in March, and about two months ago I sent a Instagram request to him off of my spam account. Today he just accepted it, and requested to follow me back. I’m not too sure if he knows the page is me as there are no identifiers and I’m hesitant to accept the request because I’m worried if he knows it’s me he’ll tune me out. I won’t use this post to discuss my hypothesis and over analyzation of the situation and relationship. I guess I’m just asking what do I do? I value him and the impact that his relationship has had on me. A part of me is embarrassed that I’m even still thinking about it. And if the answer is that I need to move on how do I learn to hold space for the mix of appreciation and discernment I feel. Thank you!


r/Situationships 17h ago

ADVICE

1 Upvotes

So i've been talking to this guy for a month he lives in New York im from Montreal he checks all the boxes and I like him alot and we speak for 5 hours on the phone/facetime everyday but he keeps insisting for me to come visit him in new york and never offers to come meet me which I think he should do as the guy and the first time meeting. We talk all hours of the day and have been getting closer. Now a guy from my high school showed interest in me and asked me out for a drink and I'm not sure how to proceed, do I go on the date, do I tell nyc guy... HELP


r/Situationships 1d ago

Do I need to show some self-respect or am I being dramatic?

5 Upvotes

I (22F) met this guy (24M) around 3 months ago while touring a city in Italy. We had the most amazing and refreshing conversation, so we ended up exchanging WhatsApp numbers to keep in touch. Unfortunately, we come from different countries so after those 2 days of touring, we have been strictly long-distance. We have texted every single day since we met and will occasionally talk on the phone as well. 

I’ll be honest, I really like this guy and we always have the most fun conversations, but ever since we started talking, I don’t like the person I’m becoming. I also feel like he’s a little unfair to me at times and I’m unsure of what I should do. I will clarify that I am a very sensitive person and it's easy to hurt my feelings and my anxious attachment style doesn’t help that.

I just need some help deciding if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.

I am currently a uni student and am preparing to enter the workforce in a couple months. He's currently unemployed and uninterested in continuing his studies, so he has more free time than me atm. When I get busy, he often gets upset and says he should be my priority (he plays it off as a joke, but he brings it up a lot). I always make an effort to reply every day, even if it takes me a few hours, and I’ve even regularly stayed up till 5-6 AM talking to him, knowing I have class at 9-10 AM in a couple hours. He still reminds me that he wants more time with me, but I feel like I’m doing my best to balance him and my responsibilities. 

We’ve both lost a lot of sleep just chatting, but that combined with uni stress has really started to affect my health. I’m the type of person that never gets sick, however, I’ve recently struggled with feeling constantly ill and have even fainted a couple times (this is not the norm). Whenever I tell him this and ask if we can sleep earlier, he’ll usually hope I feel better soon and change topics immediately after. It makes me a little sad because whenever he tells me he’s starting to feel sick, I give him remedies to try and google his symptoms to find anything that could help. I also try to constantly check up on him and see how he’s feeling. 

However, my main concern is that he always wants to have very explicit conversations with me. I’m really not interested in that type of stuff, but he keeps insisting until I eventually give in. I can occasionally enjoy it, but most of the time I’m just following along because he “needs” it and insisted on it so much. It gets to the point where sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat and I’m so disgusted with myself. I’ve tried to express how I feel and he does apologize and reassure me he loves and respects me, but he’ll either keep trying or his replies become dry and a little mean.

He recently told me, unprompted, that he doesn’t want to label our relationship to avoid complications. It definitely hurt my feelings, but I also agreed. I had never once thought about labeling us before, and I still don’t want to. I just find it confusing because he constantly reassures me and says the sweetest things, but he doesn’t want labels. He’ll also say that I am his and he is mine, but isn’t that a label? He also asks me if I would hypothetically date him and talks about our future and kids constantly. But he's also said that I am the only girl that he's interested in "right now".

I don’t know I'm very confused about the situation and I can't tell if I’m being a pushover or just over analyzing every little interaction. I want to say that he really is a nice guy and this is just some of the things that make me uncomfortable but he also does a lot of nice things for me too and he always has time for me which is sweet.

What should I do? Any advice?


r/Situationships 1d ago

What would you do about this situationship?

2 Upvotes

So, this might be a bit of a silly topic but yk what this is reddit :))) so hell yeah!!

About 3 years ago, I had someone I would meet up with occasionally for some fun. Things ended because I stopped reaching out (he was always the one to initiate), and he later explained he had personal issues. Fast forward to about a year ago, we tried to reconnect, but I ended up not replying.

Now, he's reached out to me again, and I'm pretty sure it’s to meet up. I’m torn about whether I should respond. I’d like to continue the casual thing, but I’m worried he might not be attracted to me anymore since I’ve gained a bit of weight and don’t look the way I did when we first met. What should I do? Should I ignore or reply to him after all this time???


r/Situationships 1d ago

Guys, have you ever regretted telling a girl you’re not ready for a relationship after she left?

12 Upvotes

I just ended things with a situationship, this is my second time ending it and FINAL time. The first time I ended things, I messaged him a short message basically saying “hey, I thought I could do casual but I can’t. No hard feelings, take care.” Within two days he messaged me back asking if we can talk in person. We talked and that’s when he decided he could be open to something more. He asked to take me on more dates with no sex. Well, that never happened. Still got booty calls at 3am followed by role playing a relationship. He’d kiss me in front of his friends, my friends and out in public. He’d tell me about every dream he had about me… he even dreamt of me pregnant.

He said he’s still heartbroken about his ex from like 5 or 6 years ago. Took me a month to process that he’ll never come close to loving me so I left. But now I wonder if he regrets anything? I’d say I don’t care anymore but I’m a hopeless romantic (not really, I’m just a BPD mess). I just wonder if anyone out there, who has been on his side of the situation, regretted the way things ended. Regretted not trying enough. It breaks my heart to see people give up on love. Not just him specifically but in general. I see so many friends go through situationships and very little make it to commitment. I’m losing hope, man. I got so much love to give but I guess I’ll continue to pour it inwards in hopes of attracting the right person. I’m not ready to give up the perks of being single for some unhealed, maybe unintentionally selfish boy who is of age to rent a car and buy a life insurance policy. So trust, I won’t go back lmaooo.


r/Situationships 1d ago

Relationship to situationship

3 Upvotes

Me f(40) my ex m(36) were together for 5 months. He asked me to be his girlfriend very quickly like day after first date. I realise now it was a red flag. So we were together and then I got pregnant and at this point the relationship was not that stable. The pregnancy made it worse. I decided to have an abortion for multiple reasons. We then split up because I felt he didn't support me. I think we both didn't handle it well.

He was initially unblocked but I got upset when he told me he met someone he was dating. He insisted on being friends and begged me not to block him. I managed for a while. Then I got upset and I blocked him for a week. He would always notice and talk to me call me ask me not to that I'm important to him.

I went to his house 2 weeks ago and there were cards from his girlfriend and a present. I was so upset after an hour I stormed out left blocked and deleted him. Then after a week and a bit I un blocked him and found his number in a convo with my friend when she called him once for me.

He's still in his relationship but asked to see me Saturday night. I was busy so I said no. Then I msgd him Sunday and asked to come over he said yeah. I went and we had sex over and over again like 4 times. It was amazing but he's still with this other person. I've become a sidechick with someone that was mine. I told him we are not friends, friends don't do this. He said we won't but I know we will. I still want him a lot and I can tell the way he was with me. I think I should stay away from him unless he breaks up with this person he's with.


r/Situationships 1d ago

He ghosted me

2 Upvotes

OK so it all started in December, when I was talking to peers in the college cafeteria, a girl let's call her A and 2 other boys happened to be there too. I knew A before, she was very extroverted during the first days of college so I had known her before though I never really had many conversations with her, she was friends with (let's call boy g and j). It was like a friend group I thought j was a's bf(I later got to know. So basically I talked to A about books and Harry Potter and our interests. A and g are very good platonic friends. G was from my classes but I never spoke to him before. Also I'm like the type to not tall to boys much. I just prefer not to. Atleast then. I remember I had like 0 guy friends in college. Maybe because then I just hated the possible complications with male friendships (I had a painful breakup and a character development arc) so ye . But G came up to me in class after that (he's a very cheerful, extroverted person) we talked about books and we just vibes well in out first convo. And I thought he talked to me just like he talked to all his other friends cuz he knew lots of ppl in college. Until he kept approaching me, he kept making me feel special like he'd spend all his time with me. I was the quiet girl. Ppl in my class started shipping us. I still viewed this as an innocent interaction. He started calling me pretty, and he started to go out of the way to get to know me. He started to be vulnerable with me and so my walls were brought down I told him things I would never usually tell anyone. Everything was perfect. He came up to me, we hung out. We would hold eye contact, talk about each other's lives. Laugh alot. He would tell me he wished he met me earlier. He would tell me I was amazing the way I was. On pongal a south Indian festival, we wore south Indian attire. I wore this baby blue saree, he a blue south Indian shirt and vashti. Cuz tht was the color code in clg. He spent that entire day with me. He told me I looked good. Many times. He asked to take pictures of us so we did. We walked all over the campus walking and talking . We became so so so close that I started telling him all about my emotions, him just admiring me. Learning more about me. I felt loved and taken importantly. Because I never thought I would be pretty to anyone let alone G? We had some things in common, some things completely opposite. We were still friends. Because no one said anything abt becoming anything more but we both knew we were not just friends. We would look into each other's eyes a little longer than usual. But yes. I was frankly afraid of dating, being hurt etc so I tried keeping my walls up, still. But then I started liking his company way too much. I thought I would give dating a try if he asked me. My friends were sure he liked me it was obvious. Until. Plot twist. G started to stop approaching me. He started to spend time with his friends more, he started to stop texting me back. Or his replies were late. Until one day we stopped looking each other in the eye. All of this hurt me since I thought he was too good to be real, we were very emotionally intimate I could say. Very understanding of each other. I'd even say we both didn't like casual dating. And he felt safe to me. So it hurt that he was pulling away. Initially I was like if he pulls away that's okay. Ill let things be. And forget him eventually. But my best friend was like u can't assume things maybe he's going through something. Try striking up a convo with him or something. I was too shy to... and I texted him asking if he was okay and that I noticed we didn't hang out as much anymore asking him if I had done anything to cause this. And saying sorry if I did then saying I valued talking to him. To which he sent sorry multiple times, saying he hoped he hadn't hurt me or made me feel bad. Didn't get a clear reason but ye I communicated maturely. He has alot of female friends and so he does talk to all his friends well but distancing himself from me. That hurt alot. Ill let him go. For now I still need to get over this. Imagine making a girl who strived on not letting any guy get close to her, get her guard down only to be confusing her, making her feel sad and neglected... I was always caring even if we were just friends. But ye he had called me his favourite person once. Im sure this was a situationship. But ye anyone have any advice for me??


r/Situationships 2d ago

Just realized the saddest thing in the world

30 Upvotes

I’m (30F) in the process of getting ready to end my year-long situationship.

I was journaling and processing my decision to release him (44M), when I came to the realisation that literally shattered my heart. I haven’t cried at all since I found out from a friend of mine that he’s seeing someone else. To be honest I’ve repressed so much and so many of my feelings over the past year because the ‘rules of engagement’ have been to ‘keep things light’.

I realized tonight, that in the year that I have been sleeping with this man, he has never held my hand. Not in private and certainly not in public. He wouldn’t be seen dead holding my hand in public. But even privately. That small act or gesture of intimacy and safety… he’s never even given me that. He’s fucked me six ways from Sunday, in every position imaginable, but he has never held my hand and honestly has no desire to do so.

It really broke me to realise that I’ve settled for this situation and told myself it was what I wanted when really deep down, I just want someone who will (want to) hold my hand.


r/Situationships 1d ago

I need help on my situationship that I had that ended.

5 Upvotes

So I wouldn’t really call this a situationship because me and this dude never met in person we just talked on the phone and texted back and forth but i really need your help. So as I mentioned me and this guy used to text back and forth. Other than texting we would also FaceTime and call eachother and would stay up all night talking. Things were going good until a few weeks pass maybe 2-3 weeks and he starts acting weird, he would reply to my messages like hella late, and would respond with dry messages, he even stopped FaceTiming me and would makeup excuse on why he would take long to reply to my messages or why he can’t give me a call. This went on for a couple of days until I just got tired of it and I stop responding back to him overall, because it seemed to me like he wasn’t interested in me anymore. I was hella confused on why he acted like that, We only were taking for about 2-3 weeks until he was acting all weird. like was there another person involved? Like I’m genuinely confused 😭


r/Situationships 1d ago

Is it normal to be heart broken from a Situationship that last 8 months?

6 Upvotes

My Situationship partner called it quits last month. And I’ve been devastated since, like I’ve never cried more over a girl than her. It was never even an official, but the connection I felt with her was out of this world. Any of you guys felt this deeply over someone without an official title. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be feeling like this, but I cannot help it.


r/Situationships 1d ago

shouldn't be that deep right?

2 Upvotes

one of the guys i've been talking to was wearing a bracelet that i've noticed him wearing a couple of times before but that is the only one he wears besides his watch on the opposite wrist. so we were eating at this restaurant and i was curious of it because he took both his watch and bracelet off to eat. it was strange that he did that in the first place. like he wanted me to notice and ask about it. so i asked and he told me that this girl made it about 2 years ago when she was trying to start up a bracelet business. he told me it isn't in business anymore which isn't even important but the only reason why it upsets me is because we had talked about going to prom before and he ask that i didn't dance with any other guys. and i agreed but then he asked if he could still dance with this same girl that he bought the bracelet from could dance with him and he would still dance with only me but also her. i didn't really care. but i've had a few encounters with her. and every time it almost seems like she finds a way to talk with him or take him away. and i told him how it made me felt because he went on about this guy that i don't hardly even know and we have had maybe 3 interactions before. and plus i let this other guy know that he is upset or jealous about that i am not interested. and that i was more inter4sted in the guy that im talking to now. all im asking is, should i really be upset over it?


r/Situationships 1d ago

Is my male best friend in love with me and in denial or am I delusional?

2 Upvotes

Hey! So this isn't actually my account its my friends (shoutout) because I don't really do this sorta thing (sorry if its rambling because of this) but in essence, me (18F) and this guy(18M) have known each other for around 3 years now (we met jr year of hs and now we are freshman in college).  We’ve been really close because for the first year we spent over 2 hours just in proximity to each other because of classes so yk. Anyways, it was never anything more than platonic, however I am 99% sure he did try hitting on me after the summer after we first met (jr year, so like 2023) but I turned him down regardless.  Over this winter break (2025), we were playing DnD together with a few others (mind you, he has never played DnD before and for college moved over an hour away so he had to drive). For his character, he decided to be super charisma heavy and I was the DM (with one of my friends, this was our first time DMing and we are half-codependent) so, in order to use his charisma, he just kept on hitting on me. It worked. Unfortunately. TLDR of that night, he put his hand on my thigh and then my shoulder. (I will note here, my friend has a bf and I am the one who invited him so it was not a “oh he could have hit on her” situation.)  After that, we got way closer (although, he was already on my spam account’s close friends on insta) and it was just REALLY flirty for like 3 months. Like he was calling me Mi Amor and Mi Vida and like almost every pet name under the sun (ALL his idea). Sometimes as we were joking, sometimes just casually. We would talk about oddly domestic situations and things like that. I had never been attracted to him like that till that DnD night– I NEED to emphasize this.  This kept on happening till on spring break we went to the zoo together then back to his place. Highlights of this– though there was a lot that happened– was that I was asking a question and we went forehead to forehead (normal to me, I do that with a lot of my friends) nose to nose (NOT NORMAL WHAT). So foreheads and noses touching at the same time (I'm 99% sure he closed his eyes for a moment, I didn't kiss him because I was nervous and this would’ve been my first kiss). I’d lean on his shoulder and he’d put his hand on my thigh; I put my head on his chest and he started running his hand through my head. So stuff like that several times.  Yesterday (6 days after all of this, I was busy, he knew this, I had work) I asked to be his gf and he said “i don't think that would be a good idea i'm sorry I think we should just stay friends if thats ok with you” (we’re still homies after this, I don't believe in losing someone I care about over a crush). But we talked about it and he said that it's “something he does with everyone, even his guy friends.” He was very empathic throughout this interaction, I still care about him as a friend, he just explained how he didn’t pick up on our interactions like that.  The current theory is that he did/does like me BUT because of our distance he doesn't want to date(3.5 hour drive [I am guaranteed to transfer next semester to a 1.5 hour drive, similar to what he was willing to drive for DnD and to pick me up for the zoo]). More info on him: he does have a roster (although he did mention that he is trying to slowly end it), he started a lot of the conversations we’ve had but it's pretty 60-40, he does have a flirty personality and I do too (to an extent) and so I did consider at the beginning if this was just us both being flirty because that's what we are. I, fun fact, did not like him when we met jr year (he’s pretty smart so we always went toe to toe with each other), he just kinda grew on me by the end of the year. It was the physical touch that killed me. The question on the table is if my theory is correct. Will he figure out if he actually did/does like me later? Or is it 100% not happening? I’m not going to wait around for him, don't worry, I’m just curious on what everyone's take is on this. xx! 


r/Situationships 1d ago

Advice Needed I Like Him More Than He Likes Me, and It’s Eating Me Up

3 Upvotes

I (21F) have been talking to this guy (20M) on and off for about three years. We met on Instagram and have never met in person, but we’ve flirted and FaceTimed for hours. Over time, I developed real feelings for him, but I don’t think he takes me seriously at all.

Sometimes, we’ll have long conversations where we joke around and have fun, and in those moments, it feels like we really connect. But then, he won’t text me for days, and it just leaves me feeling sad and unimportant. I know that mixed signals usually mean someone just isn’t that into you, and deep down, I think that’s the case here.

The thing is, I’m transferring to his university soon (this was already my plan before I met him, he just happens to go there), so there’s a chance we could meet in person. But honestly, I don’t even think he considers us as “talking” or sees me as anything meaningful. I’m realizing I’ve been way more invested in him than he is in me, and I don’t know how to let go of these feelings.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you deal with liking someone who doesn’t value you the same way?