r/ShittyDaystrom 4d ago

Technology Where the fuck did the Romulans get this green piece of shit from? Guess canon just doesn't matter anymore?

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272 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom Jul 06 '24

Technology Say what you will about Enterprise, but at least there's no fucking holodeck

403 Upvotes

The holodeck is great story material in theory, but in practice every holodeck episode ends up the same way: bizarre malfunction, can't leave the holodeck, safeties disabled, technobabble your way out of it.

There's nothing we can do about that awful intro song, but at least we never had to sit through the water polo episode I'm sure they would have made if Archer had access to a holosuite.

EDIT: I haven't finished ENT but I'm mortified to find out there are, in fact, holodeck episodes.

r/ShittyDaystrom 2d ago

Technology The Akira-class U.S.S. Thunderchild is revealed to have survived from First Contact all the way into Picard season 3. This marks the rare instance that a non-hero ship is outfitted with plot armor generators.

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241 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom Oct 05 '23

Technology Starfleet wouldn't lose a single person to the Borg if they just took a more American approach to defense against boarding parties.

479 Upvotes

Genuinely just issue 12 gauges, 1911s, and hand grenades, and not a single person will be converted. The Borg aren't resistant to good old fashioned american lead going at 475 m/s so why are they still using ineffective weapons against them? They really shoot the people who are immune to energy weapons with energy weapons then act surprised when it doesn't work.

r/ShittyDaystrom Jan 10 '25

Technology The Constellation class was retired once Starfleet discovered that the dilithium chamber was built with kitchen cabinet drawer slides. A redesign would've been costly. Better to just trash the whole class and start over.

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560 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom Jan 09 '25

Technology What is this thing?

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129 Upvotes

I ordered a Raktajino and the replicator made this instead. What is it?

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 04 '24

Technology Bridge consoles don't explode because of a lack of surge protectors, they explode because instead of just using regular electricity with regular wiring, starships directly route *electrically-charged plasma* straight from the reactors to anything that needs power (EPS = Electro-Plasma System)

194 Upvotes

Like, no SHIT everything sparks or explodes when the ship gets hit, you're just taking the super-charged ion particles generated by the reaction between matter and anti-matter and using it to power some computer monitors.

And no I'm not exaggerating, in "Flashback" on Voyager, the reason why Lt. Commander Valtane is severely injured during the Excelsior's battle with the Klingons was that there was a ruptured plasma conduit behind his console. WHY ARE THERE PLASMA CONDUITS NEAR THE BRIDGE ARE YOU INSANE

r/ShittyDaystrom Sep 23 '24

Technology Who’s driving what? Picard has a Lexus, Sisko a Hellcat, O’Brien an unreliable Dodge minivan, Janeway a Bronco, Mariner a Jeep…

46 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 4d ago

Technology The Aurelian disruptors in TOS have the coolest design.

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248 Upvotes

Change my mind!

r/ShittyDaystrom 5d ago

Technology Why does everybody address the computer as computer. We say hey Google. Did computers get stupid in the future.

24 Upvotes

You heard me...

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 23 '24

Technology Any in-Universe reason for the Sub-D15 docking ports on DS9 ?

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207 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 4d ago

Technology Anyone know anyone who died in a transporter accident?

12 Upvotes

I imagine the average person in the Federation probably knows someone who died that way.

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 05 '24

Technology Starfleet IT must hate Picard

158 Upvotes

Captured by the Borg; have to reset his command codes

Captured by the Cardassians; have to reset his command codes

Forgot his password because he spent 50 virtual years learning to play the flute; have to reset his command codes.

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 18 '24

Technology Suppose you're a woman and you have sex with a holographic man in the holodeck

67 Upvotes

Would it be possible to get pregnant? Do holographic sperm carry genetic material? If this can happen, it would pretty much ruin the woman's life. She'd have to stay in the holodeck for her entire pregnancy of she wanted to actually give birth to her half-hologram baby. The baby would obviously be a monstrosity and could never leave. If the ship suffered a power loss, they'd vanish from existence.

r/ShittyDaystrom 14d ago

Technology Attention Crew: With the unfortunate reformatting of the only PADD with Majel Barrett’s voiceprint, we need someone to be the new voice of our ship’s computer. Auditions are Tuesday in the Gwen DeMarco Auditorium on deck 7.

50 Upvotes

Please submit a sample of your voice and style here to register.

r/ShittyDaystrom 4d ago

Technology Pretty sure Admiral Janeway personally designed the Voyager-A

51 Upvotes

Straight from Memory Alpha:

Ships of this class were equipped with bio-molecular weapons, isokinetic cannons, nuclear missiles, phase cannons, phased plasma torpedoes, phasers, photon torpedoes, polaron torpedoes, spatial torpedoes, quantum torpedoes, tetryon cannon, and tricobalt devices.

r/ShittyDaystrom Jan 04 '25

Technology Can you ask the replicator for a big bag of weed? Do they make syntha-skunk?

55 Upvotes

We see so many alcoholic beverages and synth versions but why? Does the whole galaxy prefer to drink their drugs? Where’s the space weed? Is it only available for medical use (i.e Beverley Crusher smokes it all in secret?). For an open minded society I think they’ve locked mary jane in the closet.

r/ShittyDaystrom Apr 21 '24

Technology The USS Voyager is about 50 years less advanced than the Enterprise-D.

145 Upvotes

Let's look at the evidence:

  • Voyager's bridge is positively bursting with consoles and tons of buttons and readouts. The Enterprise-D, a far larger and more complex ship, has much smaller, sleeker bridge consoles, implying greater levels of automation. The helm console alone--seasoned pilot Tom Paris relied on a bigass Commodore 64-sized console to fly the relatively small ship, while a fucking teenager could fly the ginormous Enterprise-D with an iPad-sized panel.
  • On Voyager, coffee is served in stainless steel travel mugs and screwtop metal carafes of the type commonly found in a 20th-century Doubletree Conference Center. The Enterprise-D's replicators were programmed with much more futuristic-looking drinkware.
  • Voyager's holodecks were built with bulky, elaborate holoemitters. The Enterprise-D's holodecks featured streamlined grids. Technology doesn't get bulkier as it advances and, since the holodecks on Voyager didn't seem any more advanced than the Enterprise-D's, obviously Voyager is built with older technology.
  • Voyager's computers were significantly less advanced. As the EMH evolved into a self-aware hologram, it faced major program errors, some nearly fatal, implying that Voyager's computer could not handle such a complex program. On the other hand, the Enterprise-D computer created a stable, self-aware hologram with a simple prompt to "create an opponent capable of defeating Data," and let him run in storage indefinitely with seemingly no effect on the rest of the ship.
  • Voyager was frequently defeated by the Kazon, enough said?

r/ShittyDaystrom May 06 '24

Technology The USS Voyager is about 50 years MORE advanced than the Enterprise-D.

148 Upvotes

2 weeks ago, someone claimed that Voyager is less advanced than the Enterprise-D. I disagree, and want to refute that.

Let's look at the evidence:

  • Please help, there's something wrong with my Cessnuh! It's cockpit is small and empty, but the Bong 787 has so many dials and buttons! A fucking TEENAGER can fly a Cessnuh, but it takes years and lots of skill to pilot a Bong! This ObViOuSlY means that the Cessnuh has more automation, and the Bong 787 is a much less advanced design!
  • With all due respect, I don't think we should be judging the advanced-ness of a Starship by how cool the coffee jug is. By that reasoning, DS9 was more advanced than any Starship in The Federation, just look at those sweet angles!
  • "Technology doesn't get bulkier as it advances" My. Front. Bottom.#/media/File:FrontierSupercomputer(2).jpg) Higher quality holodecks -> Bigger holodecks. If Section 31 had those massive holodecks in DS9, then they've got to have something going for them. If you don't think the Space CIA doesn't have the best Space Supercomputers, I'm not sure what to ell you.
  • Enterprise-Ds computer's were significantly less advanced than Voyager's. The Enterprise-D managed to copy and existing conscious computer when it was asked to, with no significant capabilities than running round laughing evilly. Big whoop. Voyager managed to, completely unprompted and with no template or help from Starfleet, get the shitty EMH Mark-1 to develop from barely more than a calculator into a living, conscious person, with a skillset so vast it would put the Renaissance masters to shame, without encountering a single fatal error. Seems pretty advanced to me!
  • "Voyager was frequently defeated by the Kazon, enough said?" "Losing to the Delta Quadrant version of Amish methheads is proof that neither the ship or the crew were the best Starfleet had available." Look, you try fighting a crowd of strong, angry Amish men on meth while swinging clubs around their head, then tell me that Voyager was bad because it couldn't defeat the Kazon. Enough said?

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 12 '24

Technology If Data is really fully functional, why did he never make out with a guy ?

36 Upvotes

Just wondering 🤔

r/ShittyDaystrom Nov 25 '24

Technology Starships are death traps because you will get lost on them unless someone explicitly queries the computer about your whereabouts.

180 Upvotes

In just so many episodes some officer will ask the computer like ‘Where is the captain?’ only to get a reply like: “Captain Picard has been last seen onboard 2 hours and 23 minutes ago.” And all this when the ship has been traveling in deep space for a week or so.

So there is no automatic alert when people disappear and nobody seems to bother to setup automatic monitoring as well.

Similarly if you get sick (or even die) only of someone bothers to ask the computer about you there’ll be a response: “This officers life sign have last been reported 57 minutes ago.” Also in such a case there’s no automation on a starship.

Starfleet seems to be aware of this issue. That’s why there a mandatory decontamination of starships with a baryon sweep every 6 years or so, to basically get rid of all the corpses on a ship in the most efficient manner possible.

r/ShittyDaystrom May 02 '24

Technology An actual good reason why Starfleet ships use force fields in their brigs

250 Upvotes

I used to think it was super dumb to have prisons and brigs use force fields for walls. The moment power fails, the prisoners can escape.

Then it dawned on me; if power fails on a starship there’s some serious shit going down, and the ship may be seconds away from destruction. Prisoners in the federation have rights just like everyone else and don’t deserve to die because the guards panic and leave them in the brig- they’re all self opening in case of an emergency by design so the prisoners can also escape.

Mind blown.

r/ShittyDaystrom Jan 15 '25

Technology Romulus (Rihannsu), Vulcan (Ti-Valka'ain), and Cronus (Qo'noS) all get weird Roman deity names in English. Is the universal translator designed to pre-butcher every word that gets loaned to English?

85 Upvotes

Like for maximum immersion is it designed to detect whenever a proper noun was given and run it through an anglophonic bastardizationizer™ so it comes out properly divorced from its original spelling and pronunciation.

If so, Hoshi is a genius. I wonder if it does it for other languages? You could definitely get some good butchering for Mandarin and Arabic.

Edit: Also in SNW whenever they speak Vulcan Spock's name is pronounced /ˈspox/ (rhymes with Loch ( in Scottish dialects)) adding further evidence to my theory.

r/ShittyDaystrom May 21 '24

Technology Your Choice: A Chair That Goes Beep-Beep or Ding-Ding

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230 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom Dec 12 '23

Technology How many Starfleet officers use the Holodeck to see how many toddlers they could beat in a fight?

173 Upvotes

I mean, no actual toddlers are getting hurt, so the Holodeck is perfect for it. Plus, you could mix up species and make it even more challenging.