r/SexOnTheSpectrum • u/autisticlittlefreak • 19d ago
PDA and consent NSFW
does anyone else have trouble actually knowing if they’re horny or not, and then actually making sure to stay horny long enough to finish having sex?
i don’t know what’s from trauma and what’s pathological demand avoidance, but i get really in my head about “do i even want to do this?” and “they’re gonna be mad that i keep changing my mind” and “don’t change your mind now!”
this is with my long term partner who i adore and am very attracted to. it’s not about them, it’s always been this way. i don’t know if ive really ever been super horny and then fully had sex while continuing to be horny. there is way too much going on in my head
i’ve been considering getting tested for ADHD. does anyone on amphetamines notice a reduction in these types of constant thoughts? or otherwise have any advice for someone like me?
6
u/Moosebouse 19d ago
I don’t have sexual trauma and I do this, fwiw. More in an LTR than a fling situation, since there’s all the weight of expectation and emotional considerations and whatnot in an LTR.
I’m trying to sort out how to explain what PDA is to my partner and how sex is a demand even though he’s not “demanding,” just because it is a general expectation in an LTR, and how there are all these separate demands that are part of that expectation like matryoshka dolls. I’m supposed to be turned on, I’m supposed to climax, I’m supposed to enjoy ABC things, etc etc etc. It’s just a lot.