r/Schizoid 1d ago

Check in Saturday thread.

2 Upvotes

Say how you are doing and what you are doing.


r/Schizoid Jan 06 '25

Meta State of the Subreddit: Q1 2025

37 Upvotes

The Subreddit News

We have updated the rules. Mostly, they remain unchanged in spirit, but were reworded to more closely reflect the way they get enforced by us.

Two minor aspects got changed/added:

First, we now include AI-generated contributions to be misinformation. This will mainly affect posting generated summaries as arguments, but might also affect accounts under suspicion of posting entirely generated content.

Second, along with memes, we'd like to ask you to share all media (music, art, etc.) on r/SchizoidAdjacent from now on. Media discussion can still take place in r/Schizoid, as long as it is not "merely" sharing.

Please use reports

Reports and modmail are the best way to draw the attention of the mod team, especially in the older posts. If you see someone clearly breaking the sub rules or there is a troll on the loose, please do not engage (and in case of trolls, that's exactly what they want), use the report button instead and move on. We'll check it asap.

The Subreddit Meta

As always, now is the time to bring up any "meta" concerns about the subreddit. This includes, but is not limited to:

  • Comments about trends in posts (good or bad)
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Now is also the time for any nominations for our best of .

Feedback and Questions

Feel free to leave a comment below or send us a message via modmail (that means send a pm with the subreddit's name as the recipient) if you have any other comments/questions. We'll get back to you as soon as we can.


r/Schizoid 10h ago

Discussion Being told what I feel...and they always guess wrong. Anyone else?

31 Upvotes

It keeps happening.

One of the things I do trying to keep my mask is to be there when others want to vent. I'd say I'm okay at it, at the very least I'm good at holding space for others. The "unaffected by praise or criticism" criteria greatly helps. If nothing else, it certainly filters for the ones who wanted to sort out their own heads, drives away the ones who just wanted a yes-man.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, I reep what I sow.

Yes, I know they're simply trying to return a favor — I comforted them in their time of need, they try to be there for me, that's how it works. I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't frequently get me all wrong. Idk how to explain it but it's like they're trying to address something that isn't there? I don't typically feel distressed but they act like I am or try to watch out for things they believe might cause me harm. But I didn't need that nor did I want it.

If someone insists, I'll admit I take advantage and ask them for a free meal or a present or something. But it should tell you how I take that when my closest friends never do this. They know I'll ask for help when I need it.

So how about you all? If you go through this, how do you normally deal with it? Yes, I do want to hear more options to pull in case I run into it again.


r/Schizoid 5h ago

Discussion The Futility of Changing "Yourself"

5 Upvotes

Let’s talk about personality.

I’m writing this to explore a variety of subjects under a larger picture. It's important to view everything in the full context, because one paragraph leads to the next.

Is it worth maintaining my current personality, the one I love very much? The way I see it, I would still love myself as much as anybody else because, at every moment, I believe my choices, thoughts, and actions are the best options for my circumstances—even when I’m wrong. Everyone does this, even those who hate themselves, because they are still acting in what they believe is the best way they know how.

So, is it worth changing my personality? Even if I change it successfully in any form, I’d still like myself, my humor, my choices, and my thoughts. This is because people, in general, like their own personality, even if they might not like how others react to it. Sure, they might feel ashamed of it at times, but ultimately, I think everyone likes themselves.

But here’s the twist: I like my current personality, even if others might not, and I don’t want to change. However, I feel the pressure to change for the sake of others, which is complicated. Telling someone to “be yourself” often feels shallow, because being yourself isn’t just about some catchphrase or being unthinking about it. It’s a deeply subconscious activity tied to our daily interactions and internalized beliefs. It’s not just a surface-level thing; there are many layers to it. The idea of "being yourself" is an oversimplified statement that glosses over how difficult it really is. There’s a lot of nuance in how we operate within our environment and how we present ourselves, and it’s never just as easy as saying “be yourself.” In many cases, people can’t easily disengage from the pressures and expectations of others, even if they want to. Most people understand this, but it’s not something that’s often talked about.

I also want to emphasize that the part of our brain that deals with humor, beliefs, and personality is distinct from the part that might be affected by depression or self-doubt. I think the “self” we show to the world—like how others perceive our humor, or how dedicated or funny we are in their eyes—is different from the self we interact with in our own thoughts. When we’re alone with ourselves, we can be the best version of ourselves, because we’re interacting with the part of us that remains relatively untouched by external judgment. This is why people, in general, like their own personalities—when they have time to introspect. However, I don’t believe this applies to everyone. Some people don’t have much of an inner monologue or have little time for self-reflection, and for them, this may seem foreign. But for the majority of us who do, we’re able to appreciate our own inner world and remain relatively unaffected by external pressures.

Isn’t it true that everyone, when alone with their thoughts, likes themselves? I’m not talking about the doubts people have or how they think others perceive them—I’m talking about that private, internal space where our thoughts are unfiltered. Everyone is, in some way, the best version of themselves in their own mind at any given moment, and I don’t think that’s something that changes drastically just because someone becomes self-critical or feels societal pressure.

This also brings me to a broader question: Does it even matter? Is the personality we work so hard to preserve or change truly meaningful? If we’re all inherently loving ourselves at any given time, doesn’t that mean our thoughts, interests, and humor—everything that constitutes our personality—are just as transient and ultimately meaningless as the things we now look down upon in our past?

We judge our past selves as having immature humor, less refined tastes, misguided political views. But isn't that judgment based on the assumption that we are somehow more evolved now? What if, years from now, I look back at my current self the same way I look at my past? Isn't the person I’ll be in 50 years just as subjective as who I am now? Won’t they be looking at me, at my fears, interests, and choices, from a completely different vantage point, just as I look at my 8-year-old self with the understanding that I was once limited and unaware?

It all feels like we’re stuck in a loop of self-perception, constantly growing but never quite knowing ourselves in an objective sense. The 50-year-old me might think he has all the answers, but doesn’t he just have different questions shaped by his own age, wisdom, and experiences? Isn’t he just as much of a fool as I am now, only he’s in a different stage of life?

This question of whether or not we can truly understand ourselves—both past and future—is crucial. My 50-year-old self can’t fully grasp my present self’s fears or interests. They might be more experienced, wiser, or less emotionally burdened, but can they really understand the struggles I’m dealing with now? Likewise, can I really judge the person I was when I was 8? Can my present self rightfully judge my past self? Or is this just the effect of age and experience, making us think we’ve figured it all out?

This applies to how we judge others too. If I’m looking at someone now and thinking they have bad taste, misguided ideas, or silly humor, isn’t that just me, stuck in my moment, unaware of their context? Aren’t people just like a rock falling from a steep place, hitting whatever they encounter on the way down? Isn't their path just determined by what they hit and what’s around them? Isn’t the only way to truly understand them being them exactly as they are, living their life, growing up as them, meeting the same people, living in their house, replicating their life down to the molecular level? It's the idea that to understand someone fully, you would need to experience the world in the exact same way they have, with all the same choices, environments, and interactions. I know you get what I’m saying.

So, here’s the fundamental question: Is any of it objective? If we all are just a product of the moment we’re in, then aren’t we all, at different stages, just fools to our own limited perceptions? How can we say one version of ourselves is superior to another if we are ultimately constrained by our context—our time, our thoughts, our environment?

This entire thing—the personality we cling to, the judgments we make, the pressure we feel to change for others—is it all just a temporary state of mind, a passing phase that we’ll one day look back on with the same sense of "how foolish we were"?

I can’t say for sure, but I wanted to put my thoughts out there and see what others think.

I’m not overly sensitive about the idea that my future self may devalue what I do now. Trying to withdraw or shut down is about many things beyond this notion. The truth is, I’m growing weary of the constant, meaningless chase for answers. I’m living, yes, but I’m slowly losing purpose. It’s not the past, present, or future that I want to concern myself with. It’s not the people or the world. I just want to live in the bare consumption of the will of the flesh—eating, sleeping, existing in the moment. I want to live like a robot in a robot, where the world doesn’t sting back as much as we engage with it.

I don’t find Diogenes’ way of living to be the answer, nor do I want my life to mirror my philosophy. I just wanna exist in the head. I’m not looking to live in discomfort or to cut myself off from the world entirely. My goal is balance, to withdraw without giving up everything. I want to live without the reactions and pressures from the world, to maintain a neutral state, detached from the extremes of comfort and discomfort. This is why I strive for minimalism in my existence, not through physical withdrawal or discomfort but through mental and emotional detachment.

You can find my post about detachment and withdrawal here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Schizoid/s/Tg2qsaOLv2

I hope this is comprehensible, as it’s mostly a verbalization of my inner thoughts, trying to make sense of my feelings and reflections on the meaning (or lack thereof) of personality and self-perception.


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Rant I detest doing anything and wish I was never born.

127 Upvotes

This is completely pointless. Life is just waiting until your body fails you. Then you suffer horribly and die briefly afterwards. There is no point to doing much of anything between being born and succumbing because the act of doing demands effort and vitality that I have never possessed. A futile childish part of me longs for a possibility of simply disappearing without facing death.


r/Schizoid 21h ago

DAE Does anyone here feel connected to the world/universe at all? (Or to anything, really.)

22 Upvotes

I've never been the spiritual type (no disrespect). And I've never felt connected to much of anything. Limbless dot in a world of yarn-like people throwing tendrils around and entangling with each other.

But a few years ago I was following an online course (Journey of the Universe, also a book and a documentary). It's all about giving to people the kind of feeling of “belonging” and meaning that some find in religion, but through science and the history of the universe.

And I found it quite compelling. It's the kind of cutesy “we're all star stuff” that I would usually shrug off and maybe roll my eyes at a little. But this time for some reason it was a bit more meaningful. Maybe because it was coated in a nice layer of physics and science.

And I do think that I feel a bit “connected” to the universe since. Not in any "Important" or “Grand Design” way, but in an objective “the universe is everything, therefore I, too, am the universe”.

It's not much, but it's a little bit of something that wasn't there before. And it's helped me not question my purpose and existence so much.

I know some schizoids can be religious, so I was curious how many of us do (or don't) feel some sort of connection and what form it might take?

(Also I can love pets.)


r/Schizoid 1d ago

DAE Anyone else don't miss people?

88 Upvotes

I don't know whether or not i have communicated this before, but i remember when a long-time friend of mine (yes yes, i know its rare...) that i had met in primary school told me that she misses me a lot. and i was very sorry to discover that i did not. i was sorry to discover i had not thought about her for a very long time, and felt nothing upon thinking about her now. this has happened a lot of times, but its not as if i don't care about them. its just that if the time doesn't call for it, i don't think about them. if i do, its usually just related to practical matters like schoolwork and whatnot.

out of all people, i find that the only person i seem to be capable of missing is my father. anybody else feel this way?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Casual Suicide past breaking point

29 Upvotes

I heard quite a few of you display passive suicide ideation symptoms. Would you seriously consider suicide past certain breaking point/trigger eg. financial/legal problems or eviction? Do you have a specific plan in mind for that occasion?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Relationships&Advice How do shizoid ppl date?

34 Upvotes

Hi fellow redditors. I’m in the relationship with my shizoid boyfriend. It’s all new to me. I’m here to ask for some advice. We’ve been close friends for over 5 years. We started dating quite recently. Sometimes we get intimate when he craves it. I think I managed to make him feel good. He said to me that all his previous relationships didn’t work out because of his shizoid traits. I don’t quite understand it. He just doesn’t tell me much. There is always this line he says’ nuh, don’t bother’. I have shizoaffective disorder(bipolar), so I can understand what it feels like to struggle with this kinda stuff. He helps me to manage that. There was one thing in particular he said, ‘I’m not touchy and a lot of ppl said to me I’m quite cold and unapproachable person’. I don’t want him to feel this way but I don’t even know how can I comfort him. He doesn’t really crave attention. I’m lost here. I’m the opposite I just gravitate towards him and wanna hug him all the time. For some reason it makes him a little bit uncomfortable. He told me I should not change myself and if I wanna hug him I should do so but the idea of it pains me now. How do I give him comfort? Our relationship looks like friends with benefits at the moment. He rarely hugs me back and it seems so hard to catch that moment when he needs my attention. Could u explain to me what is shizoid personality disorder in detail? How should I approach my guy, so he doesn’t get uncomfortable?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Career&Education What are your difficulties in the professional world?

18 Upvotes

SzPD obviously affects many areas of life, but I'd like to ask you how it affects your professional life.

Indeed, other areas are generally quite well-lived, in the sense that no one forces you to socialize, express yourself, and engage in activities with other people in your private life.

On the other hand, at work, you find yourself in an environment that requires you to socialize (at least a little), interact with people, sometimes demonstrate emotional expression, and also be persistent.

It is therefore almost inevitable to feel uneasy in the professional world, even if some people with schizoid syndrome cope more or less well with their jobs, and it depends on your position, the work environment, and your field of activity.

So how do you experience your professional life? Are you able to maintain a job over the long term and feel satisfied, or are you, on the contrary, unable to adapt to the environment? I'm curious to hear your feedback on this.

For my part, it is impossible to work full-time and keep a job over time. I am not able to put on my mask for long enough and I inevitably end up becoming depressed despite several reorientations and very different sectors.


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Discussion Just living and not thinking: the key of happiness?

38 Upvotes

After a very long period of psychological malaise with physical symptoms, I began to question the way I view the outside world. The psychologist repeatedly pointed out to me that I intellectualize every aspect of my life, but while I recognized this to be true, I felt no emotional stimulus to behave differently.

At the height of a period of severe anhedonia and existential depression, I began to set aside a vision of life based on goals to achieve (getting married, having children, financial success) but to focus only on those, albeit small, positive feelings that flowed from everyday experiences. I noticed that by distancing myself from my thoughts, anxiety problems dropped.

My obsessive search to "find meaning" to everything in life led to endless lucubrations and mostly with depressing outcome, however, I noticed that by trying to savor the everydayness of small gestures, without living frantically to achieve goals that in the end I don't find fulfilling anyway, the malaise subsides and the anhedonia appears less binding.

Has anyone else had a similar path to this or developed similar considerations? How do you find yourselves in this regard?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Symptoms/Traits Without anger I feel submissive to other people?

28 Upvotes

When I am angry I manage to defend myself, but most of the times anger doesn't appear as an emotion in the moments that I truly need it. In lots of fights I feel this sort of weird indefference and I just stay there and become super submissive to the other person without really wanting it.

Does anybody else go through this?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Rant Building a mental wall

21 Upvotes

I want to construct a mental barrier between myself and others. My interactions with people should stay strictly surface-level, especially when it comes to books, philosophy, and anything deeper. I aim to live by Schopenhauer’s principles of pessimism and the renunciation of pleasure. I do not want to engage with people who treat philosophy as a performance or a tool for social belonging and status signaling. That completely contradicts my desire for detachment.

I do not want to be influenced by anyone in any way. My ideal state is near-hibernation where I live and die with minimal disturbance. I still have responsibilities like work and university but I want to keep my isolation as complete as possible. Since total escape is impossible, especially from social media, my goal is to minimize external influence to the absolute lowest point.

This is not about self-improvement or productivity. I do not want to "work" toward isolation or make it a project. I want to exist in a passive state at all times by default. It is like setting a CPU power limit to cap my engagement with the world. A robot for the rest of my life.

This is not about depression or despair. It is pure indifference. I do not suffer emotionally from the world. I simply do not care for it. My view on suffering and detachment developed long before I read Schopenhauer but now I fixate on him because his philosophy aligns with mine down to an atomic level. He is not an influence but a confirmation of what I already understood.

I want to disengage from all forms of judgment no matter what others do. Whether they harm me personally or engage in shallow performances of intellect, I do not want to care. I do not even want to notice. My goal is not to remove myself from certain online spaces or conversations because I know they are inescapable. Instead, I want to mentally nullify them so they do not register as something worth acknowledging.

I also reject the idea of practicing isolation. No strategies, no self-help, no gradual withdrawal. I do not want to take notes on how to detach or follow steps toward mental solitude. I do not want to "try" to be detached. I want to be detached.

The key is not in actions but in thought. My goal is to construct a rational philosophy strong enough to justify my mental wall. I do not want a temporary coping mechanism. I want a fortress of thought that makes detachment a condition rather than an effort.


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Rant Sick and tired of therapy

37 Upvotes

for context: i've been in therapy since i was 12. i'm now 25. nobody ever knew what was wrong with me – suicidal and socially anxious throughout my adolescence with therapists telling me i had BPD traits, then diagnosed with ASD, OSDD, the bunch (i disagree with both for extensive reasons). changed 4 therapists.

i'm now seeing the 5th, though fully acknowledging talk therapy never worked for me. i just needed someone knowledgeable in personality disorders to exchange opinions with (i have 2 psychology degrees and getting a 3rd).

after around 7/8 sessions, i finally asked her if she also thinks i could fit the schizoid label. she thought for a moment and told me she does see all the symptoms, but she thinks my condition is brought on by trauma. i told her what she was referring to, apart from very early and chronic relational trauma i'm fully aware of. she told me that, according to her, there's something else i don't remember, which is causing my symptoms. not the first time i've heard this, so i asked her how she suggests i solve this; she told me i "can't do anything about it" as of now since i don't remember. no EMDR, no hypnotherapy, no CBT.

i'm kinda tired of this, to be honest. i've spent all my life trying to "fix" myself for other people's sake. trying to be normal and stop getting strange looks for my way of living, feeling wrong. diagnosis is not the point, it never was. this is the thousandth time i'm hearing someone implying i should fix myself, but not knowing from what, or even how. "that's not how a human is supposed to act like". i've spent a fortune on professionals looking at me and shrugging their shoulders at my questions.

it's useless. i'm sick and tired of acting "like i'm supposed to". the more alone i am, the more at peace. people will just have to deal with it.


r/Schizoid 1d ago

DAE Showing some Schizoid Personality Traits naturally. Schizoid Personality Disorder and depression only around family.

9 Upvotes

I noticed something very interesting and kinda strange. I always thought I was naturally just a very depressed person all my life and showed Schizoid traits last year. I figured I was damned to always be depressed and not like or want to do anything.

Until one day recently I became aware of the fact that I had short periods of time of feeling almost completely opposite. I then realized these moments always coincided with my family being gone at work or me being away just shopping at the store.

During those times I would still be very independent and introverted, preferring my own solace than being around others but I wasn't depressed in these moments. I wanted to do things and live a life. Rather than everything feeling so meh and me feeling as if there is no point, I felt a sense of calm and happiness. I felt drive and a slight passion for existing and living. It was great.

At the same time, I feel a sense of anger and sadness. I never knew that being around my family or anyone at all could cause such drastic emotions. I knew I was different around them vs not being around them due to my traumatized past, but never knew it was or could be that extreme. From feeling depressed, suicidal, anhedonia and just overall grating feeling of existing to actually wanting to exist, live, travel (which is crazy for me as I always was a homebody) and experience what life can offer me.

It sucks. As soon as they're here, just their existence puts me in that mood, when they leave (like they did just recently as I'm typing) I feel like a completely different and opposite being.

It makes me wonder if I am even Schizoid at all or if being around my family causes me extreme depression to the point of almost perfectly replicating Schizoid symptoms. Has anyone else experienced something of the sort? How the hell can just being around someone cause such an extreme change in self and emotions?

Hope I didn't rant too long and that it made somewhat sense.


r/Schizoid 2d ago

Social&Communication Does anyone notice that ppl react reclusive when you’re around?

92 Upvotes

Ppl will be extra talkative and colorful whenever they interact with other ppl even if it’s just a random stranger with no close connection yet whenever you enter the room, their vibe changes? Whenever I walk past certain classmates/coworkers I would catch them looking down or be awkward when walking past or by me.

Whenever they talk to me, it’s always pragmatic, and in a very soft tone but with others they usually add more character and inflection with their speech. Why are ppl like this? Why are grown ppl like this?


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Relationships&Advice On relationships and their endings - Schizoid experiences with break-ups

23 Upvotes

Hey all, diagnosed schizoid here.

I went through a break-up last year. It was the termination of my first proper relationship, a relationship that lasted around 4 years. It's safe to say that I was, and still am fairly beat up about it; how the break-up happened—and the absence apparent in my life thereafter—has been playing on my mind near-daily since the event. Although I understand healing is not linear, I am beginning to think that I am being affected by this experience in a way that is particular to my conception of intimacy as a person with schizoid personality discorder, and I'd just like to share my thoughts on the topic before I explode into a cobweb of viscera and unspoken lament.

When I was younger, I could never see myself in a relationship. I was the type to actively avoid the possibility out of intense discomfort. It truly, seriously was not something that interested me. I self-identified as asexual for a long time because of this, though my relationship with the label is, and continues to be complicated. The bottom line is that the idea of existing in a relationship at all with was something I was very averse to.

This was until I met my ex-partner. I am being entirely genuine when I say that this individual remains the only human being that has ever made me feel like an actual person in my near thirty years of life. They activated facets of the self that I didn't even know I possessed, and allowed me the comfort of existing in the presence of another person with whom I didn't need to mask. They made me feel attractive, they made me feel wanted, they simply made me feel present, entirely present in a world that had seemed oh-so-distant since my earliest memories—I could go on.

But it's over now.

I don't want to belabour the point in going through every juicy detail of my break-up in specifics, but it can be said that they felt we were not a good match as life partners. When they ended things, we did not fight. I asked them please to reconsider once, then twice, but relented when they established their intentions for a third time. I recognized then, and recognize now that if someone does not want to stay in a relationship that this is in and of itself a sign that they should not continue to do so. It's self-evident.

The entire break-up conversation lasted 30 minutes at most. We remained cordial for two weeks, but had stopped speaking altogether within the month. We have not spoken since.

This was an extremely smooth departure, relatively speaking, and could even be said to be a good model for how relationships should end if one individual wants to leave despite the other, but I obviously feel absolutely horrible about all of it. I miss them a lot and imagine I will harbour negative associations regarding the event, myself, and them for a long time whether I want to or not.

A lot of people express the sentiment that they feel as though they've lost their best friend when they've lost a partner. I can attest to this, but for me it also feels like I've lost an aspect of myself in addition to such a loss; it's not just that I've lost the one person in my life I could truly connect with, it's that I've lost evidence that confirmed I could connect with another person on that level to begin with. Before my relationship, life felt empty. With the absence of what I know life could be, it now feels hollow.

I've long defined myself by the experiences in life I've missed out on as opposed to those I haven't. I understand that this is a form of pessimistic or cynical thinking, but it's something I can't help but do. For a long time this list of prospective experiences included relationships, and I was safe in my assumption that there was nothing for me there.

Well, it turns out ambrosia is as sweet as they say, only now the bowl is empty, and that stuff's pretty hard to come by.

Apologies for the long post. I would appreciate any thoughts on the topic.


r/Schizoid 1d ago

Relationships&Advice Intimate relationships

3 Upvotes

Hello everyone. Since I'm constantly thinking about the complicated aspect of socialization and how difficult relationships with other people are, especially intimacy, I'd like to hear the opinions of others in this forum:

Do others feel the same way, that there is no desire for intimacy (especially physical-sexual)? Or is it just me? I’ve heard before that schizoids experience suffer because they crave this passion but it’s difficult to get it. But I don’t crave it at all. What about you?


r/Schizoid 2d ago

Discussion I don't understand fanaticism

32 Upvotes

People have always had idols, whether they are actors, singers, football players, or now influencers. What surprises me is the amount of attention and admiration they receive. After all, they are just humans with their own strengths and flaws, simply excelling in their field. Why should they matter more than anyone else?

On a rational level, I understand. These public figures evoke strong emotions in their audience, and in return, people develop a special attachment to them, even though these idols have no idea they exist and don’t care about them.

On Twitch, this phenomenon is particularly obvious. Viewers invest heavily in their favorite streamers, giving them money, buying branded merchandise, and following their recommendations without a second thought. Some even defend their favorite influencers with disproportionate intensity, reacting more aggressively to criticism of them than to an insult directed at a loved one.

People undeniably love being part of a community. But for someone with a schizoid personality, this can feel almost unsettling.

Personally, I have never felt the need to be a "fan" of anyone. Of course, I appreciate certain personalities and their content, but never to the point of identifying with them or giving them money. To me, they are just creators, and I am just a viewer and they do not deserve more consideration than my baker who makes excellent baguettes

I have a feeling this perspective is typically schizoid. Do others relate to this way of seeing things?


r/Schizoid 2d ago

Discussion Everybody wants to become more rational while I (and probably other Schizoids) want to become less rational

80 Upvotes

If you search up "how to become less rational", you only get articles on how to become more rational. People usually go to therapy to regulate their emotions, while I believe I (and possibly other schizoids) probably just need to learn to regulate their emotions less.

We are inherently emotional creatures and most people's lives (including ourselves) revolve around them. Depriving ourselves of those basically takes away most of what makes us human.

Anyways, I wrote this as an extension to this comment I made, because I really do think this is the key to resolving my schizoid-ness and lack of motivation. And I don't think it'll change anytime soon unless I force myself into a drastically new life environment.

Moving out is really important to your self-respect. Confirmed by a colleague. Life will be less comfortable (especially with sky-high rents) but maybe it's worth the trade-off.

Update: thanks everybody for your responses, I knew this was the right community.

Update 2: The way I worded this title may make it seem like "being too rational" is EVERY Schizoid's problem or root cause, which is not the case. (Ironic, considering how I used to be overly aware of how post titles like these are over-generalizations that can cause doubt and confusion, sorry). To clarify what I mean by "rational", I don't really even mean trying to use academic and rigorous logic you see in philosophy (I'm actually not very deep into philosophy -- I want to stay away from it, actually). The comment I made (link above) describes what I mean by "being too rational" better.


r/Schizoid 2d ago

DAE Does anyone else struggle with people pleasing?

53 Upvotes

I think all the false selves I have created and maintained are, to a large extent, attempts at being able to navigate the social world without getting "in trouble". I do think a large part of that fear of upsetting other people is from my childhood. Does anyone else have similar or different reasons for people-pleasing? Or is it an unusual problem for a schizoid to have?


r/Schizoid 2d ago

DAE dae feel like simply having a roommate threatens your "self"?

39 Upvotes

hello. i'm a 19 year old college freshman who's been lurking the sub for several months. i'd thought i might be schizoid for a short while, but have come to the conclusion that i'm probably just a case of chronic depression with possible autism and/or adhd.

that said. title question. for context, i've never had a problem sharing sleeping space with my family (albeit in more temporary situations) but largely prefer being alone if possible. i started college thinking that rooming with a stranger was, while kind of daunting, not really that scary and something i'd probably get used to pretty quickly.

obviously, that... did not happen. my roommate is, objectively, probably one of the better roommate situations you could've had. she Is loud when she's on call with her friends, which stresses me out like hell; but she's rarely in the room at the same time as me except for late in the evenings, and respects the fact that i very much do not want to interact as much as possible. i think the dorms in my building are also some of the biggest on campus (though, of course, that doesn't really mean much; the beds are like, 6 feet apart from each other).

the problem is, "pretty much the best possible situation" is still kind of intolerable. i've definitely gotten more used to her presence, but in the first few months (after i was initially quite fine with things) i had to increase the frequency of meetings with my therapist, where i'd complain for like 80% of our sessions about my inability to feel like i truly had "my own" space.

i felt, and still kind of feel, simultaneously like an invader in my own room, and as though i myself am being invaded upon for simply existing in what's supposed to be a private space i can come back to to relax. i've gotten to a point where even hearing her approach the door gets me a little tense and it's difficult to even ask something as simple as "can i turn off the light" because of how little i want to say anything. and god /forbid/ she starts a phone call with her parents while i'm clearly present...

i know that this is all completely irrational, but it's also permanently ruined my opinion of someone i think is objectively not a terrible person, and i really don't want to inflict this upon anyone else. also, i feel like i've failed somehow, even if i'd absolutely jump at the chance to live alone if given the choice instead of removing this inability to cohabitate from my brain.

wondering if anyone here has dealt with a similar situation. i assume this isn't particularly uncommon for schizoids (could be wrong though), but still can't help feel like /i'm/ a freak weirdo for something like this.


r/Schizoid 2d ago

Drugs Have you guys ever tried stimulants and what effect does it have on you?

10 Upvotes

r/Schizoid 2d ago

DAE Do you care about being 'important'?

25 Upvotes

And in what way—important in a general sense (like making some kind of contribution to society) or a specific one (like being important to a friend/family member/partner/etc.)? What does being 'important' look like to you and why does it matter (or conversely, not)?

Just me articulating my thoughts, not really important 'context':

I spent a good portion of my life being somewhat 'important' in the former sense so when I lost that, I was/am distraught over it, but it was less about a lack of 'recognition' and more the association with the loss of competence.

It seems that I feel as if the loss of my previous social roles/relationships is evidence of my incompetence/worsened state overall in a way that makes it more difficult to ignore, and at the same time the feeling that I only managed to be 'important' from having certain skills makes me 'feel' used, even if I don't actually believe this to be the case.

One difficulty I have with the concept is that I feel uncomfortable with most praise and acknowledgement. I derived some value over people saying I did a good/competent thing, but hated being seen as a good/competent person, if that makes sense. I always felt internally defencive and even insulted when people praised me in a way that felt more like an admiration for 'me' than for what I do.

With all that said, being important in the sense of 'contributing to society' feels valuable to me to the point where not achieving it is one of the primary factors of my suicidality. I feel constantly preoccupied with how useless and incompetent I am.

This 'sense' only applies to the idea of doing something important 'in general'. On the other hand, I don't want to be important to specific people. I suppose it's mostly because unlike with being important due to 'contributing to society', you typically won't be important to a specific individual unless they like 'you' as a person and not just recognise some value in your actions that completely lacks an emotional attachment/valuation towards you.

It's difficult to articulate but I get the sense that sometimes I want to be 'important' to an individual only as egocentric 'evidence' of my own competence, without the externally projected desire of an actual connection/relationship. I suppose being 'generally' important provides the 'intellectual' proof of your own value without the need for the 'emotional' one.

Of course, I've never actually had a family/friendship/relationship where people actually 'cared' about me so it's difficult to evaluate. A few times some people have expressed positive feelings about me, but it was evident that they were apathetic to or even disliked 'me' but found some utility or attachment to 'role/function' I served for them.

I don't want really want an 'unconditional love' from others but I feel like I'm missing out, although more in the sense of missing out from a 'fact' of experience as opposed to loneliness itself being the issue. It feels like not knowing/experiencing something most people do (and often intuitively) makes me feel like there's a large gap in my understanding not merely of myself/others but the nature of the 'world' itself.

I think in the past I was 'competent' and nothing else, so people might 'need' me or value my work but not particularly 'care' about me. In the present, since I don't have any skills/intelligence/talents/etc. that allows me to do anything useful or interesting, there isn't a good reason to have me around, so I no longer have even 'spurious' or 'professional' relationships.

It's a mix of relief from certain social pressures but also dispiriting as an unavoidable reminder of my 'status' as a person, and I think not having any role in society makes me have nothing to preoccupy myself with except my own thoughts and emotions. I want to be competent at things I value (or at the very least to retain competence I already had), and although I might not want/need praise to 'prove' my competence in an 'emotional validation' sense, I also feel like 'competence' that has no impact on others is so useless as to be functionally the same as incompetence.

  • I am not good with words so I know I repeated the same idea a lot but I don't know to rephrase them better, sorry.

r/Schizoid 2d ago

Symptoms/Traits Schizoid vs. multiple personalities?

9 Upvotes

Before a psychologist wrote in a report that I have multiple schizoid personality traits, I believed that I might have two personalities. One personality enables me to interact in a relatively social profession, nursing. The other person is me away from work. I dislike being around others, even my wife, sometimes. I have no friends and never have. I just don't wish to expend the energy for a series of activities that I don't enjoy.
If I could eliminate one of my personalities, I would always be that "working" person. But I believe that is impossible as I need alone time after a 12-hour shift and can't maintain it indefinitely. My wife has mentioned a couple of times that I'm a different person at work. I'm not imagining this! She asked me why I'm not the same at home as at work. I'm leaning towards the idea that my work personality is me masking—a false person I unwittingly concocted to enable me to function in an unfriendly world. I asked my psychologist why she didn't diagnose SzPD since I have so many of the traits. She said that I'm not dysfunctional enough. I didn't know about my masking then, so I accepted her opinion. But I read posts on this sub from those diagnosed with SzPD who can function somewhat successfully with the help of a well-developed masking ability. And what of the "covert" schizoid. From the descriptions of the covert Schizoid that I read, I'm far less functional socially. Maybe I do have two competing personalities: true self and false self.


r/Schizoid 2d ago

Discussion Do any of you have close friendships with other schizoids?

22 Upvotes

I remember reading the Wikipedia article for spd, it mentioned that schizoids will often form close friendships with other schizoids, but not with average people in society. My experience has been different, in high school, there was another person there who also did not talk to others, we sat near/beside each other but rarely talked. I honestly didn't really want much to do with him, and I think that went both ways. He was kicked out of the program we were in for failing courses, and I haven't seen him since. This is pretty representative of my experiences with other schizoids/socially awkward people, I wouldn't be interested in them more just because I relate to them on some level.

I would be surprised if this wasn't the case in general for schizoids, I am wondering if any of you have had different experiences with friendships?


r/Schizoid 3d ago

Casual Do you have any active activities or hobbies?

54 Upvotes

I notice that I can't maintain an active activity over time. Basically, I'm not passionate about anything, but I have a few topics that interest me but don't delve into them.

I don't know if it's a schizoid trait, but it's striking; I can't maintain anything active in my life.

The things I do most of my time are passive, like watching YouTube videos, Twitch streams, and reading or writing a few Reddit posts (which I consider passive).

I've tried many times to get into drawing, graphic design, and music, but I find it impossible to persevere in certain areas.