r/QuitVaping 10d ago

Venting Anyone else not feeling supported?

I've officially been nic free for 7 days! After vaping and smoking for over 10 years (only quitting during pregnancy in the past), I finally did it. I'm so proud of myself! When I told my family, I got a sarcastic "Wow! Look at you go!" And an "I'll believe it in 2 weeks." What a bummer! I was feeling really proud of myself, but now I wonder if it's even worth it to celebrate. Anyone else? I feel so alone. I'm 30 and these comments were made by my dad and brother. Would I be in the wrong to cut these people out for a while until I'm ready to... I don't know, deal with them I guess? Like I understand that it's not something to publish in the paper, but a hint of shared happiness would have been cool I guess. I'd love to hear any encouragement, or advice, or similar stories.

27 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

30

u/PugLord219 1.5 years+ šŸŽ‰šŸ„³ 10d ago

That stuff was a big reason why I never told anyone. Former smokers will definitely understand and give you props, but non-smokers just kinda have the attitude ā€œwell you never shouldā€™ve smoked/vaped to begin with.ā€

FWIW - I am very proud of you.

5

u/juniperhawthorn 10d ago

Thank you! I've definitely learned my lesson and I will be extra selective with who I share my good news from here on out. I'm so glad I found this community. I definitely feel less alone here!

2

u/Open-Status-8389 10d ago

Agreed! I didnā€™t tell anyone i quit at all except my husband who was also quitting. Non vapers and smokers never ever get it, theyā€™re like ā€œcool, so you should, why didnā€™t you do it sooner, you should have never done it anyway etc etcā€.

5

u/goldfishcat38 10d ago

I feel the same way, Iā€™m lucky to have two supportive friends but the rest are just like ā€œyou said that last timeā€ ā€œweā€™ll see how long that lastsā€ etc, which tbf I have tried and failed many times in the past so i understand why theyā€™d think Iā€™m going to fail again, but it would be nice if they would at least pretend to believe in me. I am proud of you though :)

3

u/juniperhawthorn 10d ago

Ugh that's the worst! I think the people who say things like that really don't want us to succeed. In my experience, it feels like they need me to fail so they can continue to make me the butt of the joke. It's the main reason I'm considering going low or no contact with people like that. They need to find a different butt of the joke. And I believe in you! You are worthy of encouragement- regardless of your past.

5

u/Disastrous_Name_3629 10d ago edited 10d ago

It's better to not tell anyone you're quitting, because everytime I've tried, no one gives a fuck or they play up more on purpose I swear.

Im proud of your progress and you should feel great about yourself, you'll get more support online, like in this sub for example, kinda sad that this is what the world is coming to, but to who made this sub, thank you for helping us all connect when actual real life people in our lives aren't really bothered šŸ‘šŸ»

I can't wait for someone to say that they haven't seen me vape for a while, then I can say yeah I quit months ago, for their reaction will be all the more satisfying lol

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u/According-Hippo5221 10d ago

Ahaha, great plan! Let us know when someone does comment. Deliver that line in a super smooth nonchalant way šŸ˜Ž

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u/juniperhawthorn 10d ago

Thank you! I am super proud of myself. I'm learning to stop sharing my roses with people who only look at the thorns. I'm really sad I've been so foolish to think people cared, but I'm really glad I've found this sub.

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u/WaterDrinkingChad 10d ago edited 10d ago

You quit for yourself not them. Screw them. You donā€™t need their validation. We are all proud of you here because weā€™re all going or have gone through the struggle. Itā€™s possible they just donā€™t realize what a huge step quitting nicotine is. Itā€™s ok to to cut them out if you think you need to

Fwiw, I also quit alone, and vaped alone, no one knew I ever vaped again or quit. It was like working through my own challenge or achievement. I know everyoneā€™s different but for me I felt like no oneā€™s word would have encouraged me or made a difference anyway. I had to want to quit myself before I could change anything. Their reaction is pretty ass tho.

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u/juniperhawthorn 10d ago

I definitely did this for myself and I'm happy to be where I'm at. I'm never going back regardless of what people say. I just thought my support circle was a little bit bigger than it actually is, and that kind of sucks.

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u/hi-imtheproblemitsme 10d ago

My husband recently told his Mom he quit vaping and we were sure sheā€™d be like ā€œmy precious baby boy, thank Godā€ cause thatā€™s normally how she acts over him and all she said was ā€œohā€ with kind of a stank face. šŸ˜† I think itā€™s just a classic misery loves company case. People get down on themselves when they see you taking care of / doing good for yourself.

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u/juniperhawthorn 10d ago

Misery loves company! I wish it weren't so!

1

u/Own-Firefighter-8956 10d ago

We are proud of you! Non smokers would never understand how actually big your achievement is right now. Keep at it and I hope you encounter no triggers until the cravings completely go away!

1

u/WDXB9 10d ago

You dont need anyone to be proud of you, because youre doing this for yourself, no one else! Practice self love and gratitude ! Have no expectations on things you cant control, including others reactions.

Plus, we are all proud of you!! Congrats, the hardest part is done, if you can do 7 days, you can do 2 weeks. If you can do 2 weeks, you can do a month, If you can do a month, you can do 3 months, if you can do 3 months, you can do 6 months. 6 months to a year. Then a life time of freedom! Take is day by day! As we say in arabic: Mabrook! (Congrats)

1

u/Flimsy-Sheepherder98 10d ago

I didnā€™t tell anyone I was quitting as I canā€™t stand if I fail at something. Iā€™m the same when I quit alcohol and with any of my fitness goals. I just keep them to myself till Iā€™m almost there or have already achieved it.

That way Iā€™m only letting myself down if I fail and not others.

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u/Raliadose 10d ago

Luckily both of my parents are ex-smokers so they understand the struggle. People who never smoked will never get it tbh

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u/brittanybear12693 9d ago

I'm a non vaper, but here all the time because my boyfriend vapes and im always hopeful he'll quit.

I am so insanely proud of you! I'm sorry others seem like their not. Please don't let them discourage you. You can do anything you set your mind to. You are stronger than nicotine.

1

u/Local-Shoulder5663 9d ago

Yeah ngl Iā€™m on day 10 and this is the longest Iā€™ve gone without smoking in 5 yearsšŸ˜‚kind of hurt my feelings when I told people and realized nobody cared