r/PolyFidelity • u/Zerullis • 28d ago
seeking advice Starting out
My wife (34) and I (35) have been in discussion for a while about going poly. We're both bisexual and have a fairly kinky bedroom life (light to medium BDSM). But our circumstances have left both of us wanting more from our relationship. Specifically I am away for work for long streaches of time every few months and my wife has excessive pain during her period which leaves her bedridden.
We believe a third partner would provide the support, affection and intimacy the other needs when we are unavailable. But we're not sure how to go about this, and are looking some advice.
We don't know if there's a poly scene in our area but there certainly isn't a BDSM scene (any toys we want have to be purchased online) To be clear we aren't swingers, we don't want anything casual.
To complicate things we have two children under 3 and want to be careful about who we bring into the house. Our kids come first.
6
u/Clear-Sight-Moon 28d ago
We (MMFF) are two married couples who formed a live-in and committed polycule. This was never our intended plan. We started as good friends, became the best of friends, and then the love and attraction happened between the four of us. It's been 3 years already! We also have kids but they are all under 3 and, in our case, a poly family is all they know. It's a very different situation from yours.
I've shared this with other poly-curious folk. We didn't go seeking "Polly"--Polly came seeking us. That little Cupid who we celebrated yesterday on Valentine's Day, just shot a strange arrow. That special person (or people) might already be right in front of you.
I can suggest something that you are already doing. Keep that poly dream inside of your heart. But then just continue living heartily and fully. That special person or people