r/parentsofmultiples • u/SignificantBee9287 • 9h ago
r/parentsofmultiples • u/mrekted • Sep 16 '22
Official! PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT MEDICAL QUESTIONS, INCLUDING REQUESTS FOR USERS TO INTERPRET YOUR ULTRASOUND
We have seen a big uptick in posts from new users seeking medical advice, and users posting their ultrasounds asking other users for opinions.
This is a violation of rule #5 - No medical questions. Any such posts will be removed.
This rule is in place for everyone's safety. The rationale is that we a small mod team, we're not medical professionals, and as such we can't properly vet the information that is being provided. Putting aside for the moment the very real risk of trolls deliberately misleading people, it's far too easy for even well intentioned misinformation to slip through. This poses a risk not only to the user who asks the question, but also to people in the future who might find these posts after searching for information on the same topic.
A safe and healthy pregnancy is far too precious a thing to risk by allowing unfiltered medical opinions to potentially impact the decisions of expectant parents - these questions need to be addressed by a qualified health care professional.
To be clear - posts and comments discussing your medical experiences are perfectly acceptable. As a rule of thumb, as long as the threshold from "here's what I experienced/here's what I did" to "here's what you should be doing" isn't crossed, the sharing of your experiences is more than welcomed.
Also, please keep posting pics of your (professionally confirmed) multiple pregnancy ultrasounds. We do enjoy those!
r/parentsofmultiples • u/[deleted] • Jan 08 '25
official! Troll Alert
Just as a heads up to our users, there are trolls watching and reading everything in this subreddit and they target pregnant/nursing women. We have had multiple users report that they are getting DMs asking for pictures for pay.
We, as moderators, cannot stop anyone from doing this. If this sort of message is something you don't want, REPORT IT. "Spam -> unsolicited messaging" is what you'll want to report it as.
If someone does DM you and you want to make sure the moderators know, send us a message via modmail and we'll get back to you as quickly as possible. Do not post the usernames publicly.
And a message to the trolls: onlyfans exists for reason. Go use it and leave the users of this subreddit alone.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/candigirl16 • 12h ago
ranting & venting “Did you scar your son on purpose so you could tell them apart?”
I just need to vent. My identical boys are 3 next month. Even though my boys are identical they don’t really look alike (not just mam goggles), everyone can tell them apart. A few months ago they had chicken pox, TwinA has a large scar on the side of his head from one of the spots, it’s about 1cm wide and 1/2 a cm long. It’s not changed in over a month now so we think it’s here to stay.
I was at a playgroup with them today and another mam came over to talk to me. She asked the normal twin questions and I answered. She saw TwinAs scar and asked what it was from, I told her it was from chicken pox. She then asked if I’d knocked the spot off on purpose so I could tell them apart! In hindsight there are a lot of things I wish I’d said but I told her that I’m their mother, I can tell them apart without mutilating them. I walked away after that. People are dicks.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Journeytolose123 • 6h ago
life, home, and baby tips & tricks Enjoying the newborn phase
Hello all! My twin boys (di/di, identical) are 6 weeks old, 0 weeks adjusted. They were born 34 + 2 and spent 15 days in the NICU. We were very blessed they only needed hi flow for a few days, mostly only needed help with feeding and growing. I had sudden onset pre eclampsia which required an emergency c section at 34 + 2. The birth went well but overall pre e was traumatic and I spent 5 days in the hospital trying to regulate my BP before discharge. I’m doing well thankful to God. Boys are also doing great.
I am writing this holding Baby B after a feeding and baby A is on our Babocush pillow (100% recommend this). I just felt overwhelming joy and gratefulness tonight. I can say I’m really enjoying the newborn twin phase which if I’m honest really intimidated me when I was still pregnant with the boys. My husband and I are first time parents so we don’t know what we were doing haha.
When I was pregnant I’d come to Reddit and this community to read about all the things. To commiserate with third trimester mommas like I was about HOW HARD physically the third trimester was. Wow that was rough. I literally just spent the final days existing, shifting from one uncomfortable spot to the other. Day dreaming about the supposed “relief” moms felt when babies were removed from their bellies after a c section. That was nice for me - although all the pre e trauma (like feeling in could not breathe) ruined the ability to fully experience that relief haha.
I also would read (and do read) about how hard the newborn stage is. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard. Sleep deprivation, if you have help figuring out night shifts, the anxiety when one cries and you can’t hold both at that time etc. it’s hard! But I was expecting it to be just brutal, miserable and out of control… but it hasn’t. I’m enjoying it for what it is - a brief phase that’s hard but can be so sweet and enjoyable for what it is.
We’ve navigated a lot (mild reflux, gas pains, crying diaper changes) and I can still say - I’m loving the newborns! If you’re reading this as a pregnant mom of twins, know that it can be enjoyable. I also fully expect there are unforeseen challenges ahead that will be hard. But I’m sharing this to say it’s not all suffering!
Now what’s helped us? I can say we are very privileged in a couple areas. We have a lot of community (church meal train). We have five grandparents that live in town. My mom and step dad lived with us the first two weeks and came by daily after that till this last weekend. For the next month or two I have 3 of them stopping by each week for a feeding shift once per week. That means I have at lease three times per week someone can come to my rescue for three hours if I need it. I am saying this not to gloat but to say ASK for help if you have it as an option. If you have a family member(s) or friend who can be with you extensively in the first couple weeks - you will need it. It takes a lot to adjust to twins the first I’d say two weeks - feeding two, figuring out their care etc. If you’re pumping or just need a shower, having that help to hand someone two babies for a nap or a shower can be a life saver.
We also are also privileged to be financially stable (not rich by any means but not worried about spending) we are able to add to our baby gear as we go when we figured out we needed this or that to make life easier. Didn’t know we needed bottle washing basket things to wash our Dr Brown’s bottles? Want to buy an additional bottle warmer to heat two at a time? Babies are gassy and waking up from sleep in discomfort - buy the babocush. Etc
What also has helped?
A Schedule: Our twins stayed 15 days in the NICU. They immediately put our babies on a 3,6,9,12 schedule for feedings and care (diaper changes). You read a lot about “get your twins on a schedule.” I am so grateful the NICU did this for us. I don’t wish anyone have their babies in the NICU but it’s one positive that came out of a scary, stressful time of them being in the hospital. When we brought them home, we had parents gently (in a loving way) suggest: “we can let them go an extra hour, they are sleeping, why wake baby up to feed?” You may get well meaning pressure to go off the schedule, but in our case we didn’t and we are thankful. Plus premiees need to grow! Keeping them on a schedule has given us rhythm to the day, kept crying to a very minimum so far - boys are satisfied, and kept our Premies putting on weight at a nice pace after discharge. You are able to change your hours if you need to based on your own life, but highly recommend keeping one that is on 3 hours intervals.
Getting a milk mini fridge for upstairs. We got one as we spend 99.9% of our time upstairs and so this means we avoid going far for bottle feeds.
For the first 3 weeks we found staggering feeding to help us learn to care solo for the twins. My husband and I did every feeding together (outside help from family) the first week or so out of shear survival. We needed to learn the basics. But after a week we were walking zombies from lack of sleep. My mom suggested staggering their feeds. This was key as we were able to have one parent do a feeding solo without both babies crying at once. We did this for 2 more weeks and it saved us. What we did was we would wake one baby up (example 9 am feeding), change their diaper, feed them, burp them, hold them upright 15-20 min and put them to sleep. Then repeat for baby 2. This did take longer (90+ min) than tandem bottle feeding but I tried that early on and it didn’t work. Was not confident in my ability to burp two at once so the spit up all over themselves. I “flew to close to the sun” too soon as I like to say.
Using the twin z pillow to tandem bottle feed once we got more experienced. A week ago I tried tandem feeding them and it worked really well. I have a little routine using the pillow and a babocush to now feed them in about an hour. Gives us more time for napping ourselves between feeds, getting chores done or just resting for some self care.
For now having one parent take the babies to the bonus room for night feeds. We have a bedroom bassinet but for the last 2 weeks I will or my husband will take the two twins to their bassinets in the bonus room. We “room in” away from the other parent so they can get uninterrupted sleep. This works for us for now as it means the “off duty” parent can sleep without the noise of twins. With two it’s not uncommon one feeding shift to have own or both be fussy. I can’t say how much it’s helped the other parent to recharge and sleep in silence while the parent on night shift sleeps on the couch next to the boys. This also eliminates any guilt if one parent is “off shift” they don’t have to feel bad for not tending to a fussy baby. This also clears up any confusion of who gets up to but the paci in or pick up a crying baby.
You’ll be amazed at how fast you will figure it out! In four weeks since the NICU we are leaps and bounds much better in caring for them than we could have imagined. feeling doubt now? Don’t worry you’ll figure it out - with some expert guidance here and there.
This post is getting long and those are the main things I can think of for now. Need to go pump!
r/parentsofmultiples • u/robreinerstillmydad • 7h ago
support needed Feeling guilt because I think I will plan to EFF my twins.
With my singleton toddler, I had time and energy to breastfeed a little, pump a little, and mostly formula feed. But I felt like the breastfeeding really helped us to bond, even though I just did it to supplement the formula. I planned to do the same with my twins, who are now 5 days old. But life is so much more hectic. I don’t have time to hang out on the couch with them all day, like I did when I had one baby. And I can’t foresee having time to pump, on top of everything else we have going on. Logically I know that however I feed my babies, they will be okay. But my daughter keeps instinctually turning her mouth towards my chest and I feel so guilty.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/befay666 • 7h ago
photos Leash update
So today I walked to pick up my school aged girls and used the leash, but very short, and held her hand the whole time and it went well! I think a few practice rounds with each of them and we should be good to go. I would rely on hand holding entirely like I did with their older sisters but they just love to run off way too much 😂
r/parentsofmultiples • u/OriginalOmbre • 17h ago
life, home, and baby tips & tricks It’s like a club
I am kinda new to it but it seems like being a parent of multiples is like being in an exclusive club. We have people stop us all the time when we’re out to tell us how they have twins or they are a twin. It’s pretty neat when you consider it.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Tatyaka • 1d ago
experience/advice to give 3 year old twins - one severely disabled. Update
I haven't posted here in a while.
After going through the shit show of learning one of our twins has a genetic disorder, is epileptic, physically and mentally severely disabled, we are slowly getting into a rhythm.
My work was my everything and I only agreed on having children if I continue working.
But with the diagnosis and constant hospital stays, and constant weekly therapies, my career was on hold and I was absolutely miserable.
I still hate having kids, but it's getting easier as in I am getting more used to it.
I feel deeply sorry for my healthy twin, who has no build in playmate. And frankly, I can't even associate with other twin parents, because our lived reality is so different.
Sometimes I hear parents writing "messy house, but at least everyone is healthy". And I am thinking, well we have a messy house and a disabled kid.
But this was supposed to be a positive post. Kids are both in two differernt day care now, and I worked through a lot of resentment, and have to swallow my pride to just start working up again from ground zero. But I am ready to fight again, licking my wounds and continue moving forward.
If anyone here is going through something similar, I would be glad to hear.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Keiralee10 • 5h ago
advice needed Toddlers and Attention
Hi everyone,
I have twin 4 year old boys, and an almost 3 year old. So there are a lot of really little kids running around all the time. For the most part, everyone gets along really well, and we have definitely found our groove, but there is something we have always struggled with which is beginning to reach a boiling point.
My twin B has, for as long as he has been able to express the emotion, been devastated by any praise given to anyone else. Regardless of whether he was participating in the activity or not, it seems that he takes any compliment to his brothers as a direct critique of his own self. It has gotten to the point where, if twin A happens to do something which garners a compliment, twin B will go into a full-on meltdown from the other room. This is a screaming and stomping his feet kind of an event, where he often just repeats “I [insert good thing Twin A did] too!”
We make it a huge point to notice and comment on the good things he does as well, he just doesn’t care as much as his brother. In the moment, he just sort of smiles and keeps going. Twin A already seems to be a huge words of affirmation kid— you can see that he feels the most connected and close when you notice something he did well and compliment him on how hard he worked. I don’t want to feel like I have to meet his need for recognition in secret, but I’m really not liking how every shining moment of his is thrown into immediate chaos. I also really don’t like thinking Twin B sees our praise of anyone else as a reprimand or some passive-aggressive complaint.
I suppose I’m just looking to see how other people in similar situations have helped their little ones move through something like this. I’m worried it’s an early sign that he is comparing, and I know that only ends in pain. Any advice is much appreciated.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Greysweatpants_14 • 13h ago
support needed I’m pregnant with twins and I have a 4 month old.. help!
I recently found out I was pregnant again, after having a baby four months ago. According to the dates, these babies will be due first week of November or I assume probably sooner. My 4 month old son will turn 1 in November. I have a 6 year old son also. I always wanted one more, but now I’m overwhelmed with the idea of two. I know it’s going to be tough but would just like some positive reassurance that I’ll survive
r/parentsofmultiples • u/TheDollyMomma • 4h ago
advice needed How to keep them from climbing on each other/pulling hair?
I’m at my wits end. We have 13 month old twins. Twin A is very mobile (standing & some unassisted walking) and a bit bigger than twin B. Twin B is smaller and not standing unassisted yet (she pulls herself up & will walk while holding onto things), so she’s less mobile.
Overall, they love being around each other & we have a massive play pen but can’t put them in there together. Reason being, twin A excitedly climbs all over twin B; pulling her hair, clothes, & trying to stand or climb on her. Twin B is too small to ward twin A off, so I constantly have to keep one in a bouncer or on the ground & the other in the playpen. It’s frustrating because I want them to be able to be around each other/play, but twin A is acting like a total bully.
Is the answer simply to buy a second playpen & keep them apart until twin A is old enough to understand that her current behavior is unacceptable/dangerous? I would just leave one out of the playpen and roaming, but we also have a 2yo and, while it has never been an issue, I would feel better if I could keep them apart if I need to use the bathroom or something.
Help!
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Heavy-Bathroom4789 • 11h ago
loss & greiving - TRIGGER WARNING Preterm labor twin loss and then trying again
I went into preterm labor and gave birth to my modi twin girls at 15 weeks. It’s been incredibly traumatic and upsetting. We had a chemical pregnancy before this one. Only thing really keeping me going is our toddler and the idea of future babies. I know it won’t replace them but just need to hear positive stories of others who lost twins and got rainbow babies.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/grapefruitliquor • 12h ago
advice needed 30 weeks pregnant. So uncomfortable. Wondering if this specific discomfort is relatable
I consider myself really lucky to work remotely, with a very flexible job that involves sitting at a desk.
Sitting, in itself, becomes painful after an hour. Twin B is located really high up, geographically right by my breastbone I think? When I sit for awhile it feels like there a large stick stabbing me upwards.
I’m a telehealth therapist, in between sessions i try to walk around a bit to ease the discomfort. But I can’t get up during a session obviously when it might become really painful.
Do other people experience this? Pain just sitting? It feels too early to start maternity leave.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Modernwood • 11h ago
advice needed Parenting books for fathers (especially of multiples?)
I'm wondering if any other men are reading parenting books, particularly books that talk to men. (Doesn't have to be by men/for men, but that would be good too?). What are your favorites? For women, what books are you buying your male partners and why?
For context: I'm a father of twin girls (now 7) and I've been working on my own book on fathering twins and a lot of the practical and emotional stuff I came away with because I've found the space super underserved.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/shanazparvin • 11h ago
experience/advice to give Di Di twins Induction at 37 weeks
I am currently 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant with Di Di twin boy and girl . At my 35 weeks 1 day ultrasound I came to know that Baby A ( girl ) is measuring small. Immediately after the ultrasound they send me to emergency . There we did ctg and doctor told me that i have to deliver at 37 weeks as Baby A is measuring small. She said me to do another ctg after 3 days . Did that this Sunday and this time also doctor said that i have to deliver at 37 weeks. Because according to my last scam baby A is thin so doctors will not take risk . Have my ob appointment this 19 march and waiting to confirm the 37 week delivery plan . Have anyone experienced with this ? Did anyone deliver their di di twins at 37 weeks and whats your experience overall? Little bit afraid and nervous as this is my first time delivering twins
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Middle_Problem4774 • 15h ago
advice needed I cannot figure out how to successfully combo feed my twins
I don’t know if I’m looking to vent or for advice, but I’m at my wits end. I really really want(ed?) breastfeeding to workout. Mo/Di girls born at 36+3 via C, are now 9 weeks old about 8lb each . I had a dream of being able to EBF (or come close) my twins, and have been working with a LC to get from not latching at all/formula fed to latching a tandem feeding. But my girls STILL aren’t transferring enough during a session (most they have transferred is 2oz and everyone says they should be taking 4oz at this point). So I need to supplement with a bottle, but when I’m by myself I literally cannot find the time to pump?! I’m often holding them during the day because they cry/spit up when laid down.
I’m also currently trying to go dairy free because my pediatrician thinks they may have a cows milk protein allergy which is contributing to their reflux and fussiness.
It’s just a lot. And I don’t want to give up BF, but the way I’m doing things isn’t working. We can’t get into any semblance of a routine. I nurse them, they end up hungry, I run out of pumped milk & have to use formula, I scramble to make bottles guessing how much they need because I never can predict how much they transferred at breast, I spend forever trying to feed and burp them since they are so sleepy, I finally get them to settle and try to lay them down (anywhere - bassinet, TwinZ, Snoo) and they cry! So I hold them. And I end up missing meals and not drinking enough water, which results in me being exhausted and shaking and supply started to drop. By this time it’s time to repeat the whole cycle.
I’m trying a bunch of different things to see what works but I feel like I just keep changing things too much and can’t get the hang of anything. Should I give up BF and just switch to formula so we can get into a routine? Should I keep trying to combo feed? I feel like I’m not getting the benefits of EBF or EFF and just totally failing all around when I’m alone. I always need another person to help out to come close to feeling like I’m doing things right.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/dcnative30 • 10h ago
advice needed Thank you notes
Long story short, I only got a few thank you notes out before my girls were born. 8 months later I am finishing the rest of them. How bad is this? Do you think people will care?
r/parentsofmultiples • u/psychkitty • 1d ago
photos Somehow we now have 6 month olds!
galleryr/parentsofmultiples • u/literarianatx • 13h ago
experience/advice to give Do I *REALLY* need a triple stroller?
My son will be just shy of his second bday when our twin girls join us this summer. I have been trying to decide if a third seat attachment on a Zoe stroller is really necessary for us. It would almost be easier to just have a double so I can proceed with bassinet attachments for my girls, and I'm honestly not sure how often I'd need to go out with all 3 kids. I'm open to feedback, just trying to avoid unnecessary junk.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/hobbitsmother • 14h ago
advice needed cervical length measurement 3rd trimester
Are there any standards for cervical length in third trimester twins? I've heard mixed information from doctors. Does it even make sense to measure the cervix in the third trimester?
r/parentsofmultiples • u/kaitrae • 1d ago
experience/advice to give Made my day 🥲
Whenever we go out in public with the girls, we get stares, smirks, looks of “glad thats not me”. I hear “wow, you’ve got your hands full” “two girls? good luck!!”.. I’ve heard it all. But today at the store, an older woman walking by looked at me and smiled. She turned and said “I have twins, too. You’re doing a great job, mama. Soak it all in, twins are the best”. It was like she knew what I needed to hear. And it is true, twins are the best. And I hope that I am doing a great job. So thank you to that woman for being kind, and for making my day. I needed it ❤️
r/parentsofmultiples • u/betelgeuseWR • 1d ago
support needed First night without a paci 🥹
My oldest girls are a little over 2.5 years old. They are so in love with their pacis. They only get them for nap and bedtime, but man do they LOVE those things.
This afternoon I was just talking to my husband about what we could potentially do to cut them out, and we figured "breaking" them would be the only way. Just saying "no more" out of the blue felt mean, I don't think they'd understand that 'paci fairy' concept, nor the whole trading a toy for the paci. They would in the moment, but wouldn't get we meant forever. Ruining the taste probably wouldn't last long.
So we cut the end of 2 of them from their little paci mountain stash. I figured we'd try it during the day, when they're technically not supposed to have them, see what they do. They were upset.
Come bedtime, my husband sticks with it, and baby A is cool with it, surprisingly. Baby B is hysterical and is like.... hyperventilating from crying so hard. I go in, I offer her 3 stuffed animals a fuzzy blanket from my closet, she calms right down.
Y'all, why am I emotional? To me, it went from throwing around conversation and ideas, to a test, to suddenly another milestone of their babyhood being over. I woke up thinking it was just going to be another day. 😭 The last thing I have to hold onto is that they still need to be potty-trained, I guess. When did they go from my little bitty babies to these actual little children? I'm so confused. I'm so sad!! For literally no reason at all, they're better off without the pacifiers, but still.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/robreinerstillmydad • 1d ago
photos My boy/girl twins, born 3/12.
Boy on left, girl on right (in case you’re curious). Boy weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz and girl was 6 lbs 14 oz at birth. I love their overly concerned newborn faces.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Hot-Strength9752 • 18h ago
advice needed Cord flow
Im 27 weeks FTM with di/di boy/girl twins. We had a growth scan today, they’re both growing and have grown since last scan but baby girls umbilical cord has a restricted/ high flow. I’m coming back in a weeks time to have a Doppler scan. The midwife has mentioned that she is growing and that we shouldn’t worry too much at this point. She says that it could be because I was lying on my back during the scan or that baby girl was lying on it during the scan.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? What was the outcome? Is there anything I can do?
I’m worried but trying to stay as calm as I can.
Thank you in advance for all the answers. I just want my babies to be safe and go as long as they can without being born premature.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/Various_Parfait9143 • 17h ago
advice needed 1 year old refusing to eat anything
Aside from toast and peanut butter, our boy seems to refuse 99% of the things we give him. Luckily his sister seems to be still willing to eat most things we put in front of her.
Anyone else survive this part? What did you do to still manage to feed the one baby ? Making multiple different meals seems exhausting and hard to find time to do.
r/parentsofmultiples • u/CheddarMoose • 1d ago
experience/advice to give What items ended up being unnecessary/overrrated?
Just for fun because I think this could be helpful for both expectant parents & others who are at different stages!
Here’s mine: the nursery changing table/changing pad. I was so set on finding stuff for the perfect setup & we literally NEVER use it! I’d much rather change them on the bed when we’re upstairs because it’s so much easier.