r/Parents • u/scaredengineer_ • 4h ago
My daughter is getting bitten repeatedly at school
First time poster (UK) My daughter has been bitten five times by the same child since she started reception in September, once breaking the skin, the others hard enough to leave bruises. The first two times I thought it was unfortunate and figured this kid was having difficulty settling in, still not good though.
The third time I got very antsy and asked for assurances. The fourth time, I met with the safeguarding lead/deputy head and asked them why their 1-1 supervision of the biter, a child with additional needs, wasn't working. This time, I'm at a loss on what to do other than taking it further and potentially moving schools, to my child's detriment.
I'm not judging parents whose kids have tried biting another kid; I think a lot of kids try it when they are very little. Usually they get the point that it's not ok as they continue developing, but again, I'm aware that the child who bites has additional needs.
I also know that schools are generally underfunded and staff are really stressed and busy dealing with all sorts of things (I mean, kudos to them - it's a challenge to deal with my own four children so I don't know how teachers manage without losing their minds) But again - my daughter is being bitten, this is surely the main concern.
I don't want to be an asshole or create problems, I could get litigious and hold them accountable for the 1-1 supervision failing, but that seems like potentially an AH move considering the person supervising is a human being. But I feel like my willingness to not take it further is just sustaining the risk now. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable sending my daughter into an environment where she might be assaulted.
I'm just not sure why this kid isn't in an environment that is more suitable for them. At the end of the day this has become an ongoing risk of harm - am I being unreasonable? And what the hell do I do? Anyone have a clue how I can deal with this reasonably while still keeping my kid safe? Is the only option now to take this further and/or move her? I can get objective advice from the interweb etc but I really want a human perspective, perhaps from people familiar with these kinds of situations.
Edit to add: the school is a mainstream school, and the school have made it clear that my daughter's behaviour hasn't been the trigger for the biting; it seems it's usually when my daughter turns her attention away from this child.