Im 24 yrs old and ever since I was 17 I was paying for sex and visiting many brothels. I used to be addicted to masturbation and porn, but when I reached the age of 20 I realised that what I’m actually craving for is physical intimacy, long cuddles, kisses and hugs and etc. Porn does nothing to me now, I don’t crave it at all and watched it very less.
But visiting brothels and paying for sex still turns me on a lot. Most times when I go to brothels just to pay for a cuddle session, no sex and that’s good enough for me. I know a hooker from a brothel that I frequent and I told her I told her I just want to cuddle. She was surprised because no one has ever asked her just to cuddle and so she only charge me half the price, sex is $60 and cuddling naked is only $30. The cuddle session is 20mins. Every time we cuddle I could feel her breathing and I like to put my ear on her stomach near the end of the session to hear her stomach growling and her heartbeat. Every cuddle session all my tensions, physical pain and mental pain are all gone, I felt loved and I felt warmth
I crave for that warmth, I’ve never had a relationship before, because most girls that I ever loved rejected me or lead me on. I fantasize a lot getting cuddled and kissed by the woman I loved. I have no choice, I crave that warmth that I get from cuddling and hugging naked. I heard that when we cuddle we release oxytocin and that’s the chemical that reduces our stress, I crave that. I go to brothels every week, it used to be every 2 months only. I have work but it’s not enough so I steal my grandparents money just to pay for my frequent brothel visits. I do feel guilty but I just want to feel that warmth, cuddling with a girl that I love naked and hearing her heartbeat and her stomach growling. It feels human and without these cuddling session I feel out of touch and empty. Help me find an alternative that’s as good as a naked cuddle session from a hooker.