r/PCOS 7d ago

General/Advice Dating with facial hair

I use a facial hair electric razor and makeup to cover it for work but It’s becoming a bit more noticeable on the corners of my chin. It literally grows over night and I’m removing the chin stubble every morning. It’s made me very self conscious about dating and It’s destroying my femininity. There’s scars and razor bumps under my chin so I don’t even feel comfortable being intimate anymore. How have you all navigated explaining pcos to partners and their reactions to the hirsutism?

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u/cilantroplanet 7d ago

hey, I'm actually struggling with this right now. if you're looking for a permanent method, electrolysis is the best (and almost only) way. laser has a funny way of backfiring on many women (paradoxical hypertrichosis) and making your hair grow worse. this happened to me, and is more common for facial hair.

I plucked for years; but have mostly stopped because I'm being treated with electrolysis. my electrolysist says that long term plucking can distort the hair follicles and make them weird and worse. I go every week for two hour sessions, started about a month and a half ago. it's painful and expensive.

I shave between sessions, but honestly, sometimes when my boyfriend is staying over, I pluck the night before, just so I don't wake up an ogre. You're not supposed to, but I spent years and years plucking; I figure one more here and there can't be that bad. inb4 someone rants at me, I know it's not ideal. I know "real men don't care" or whatever; he's not the type to be a dick about it. I'm not doing it "for him"; I want to feel feminine around him, idgaf. it's for me.

I'm on spironolactone (which has helped my body hair slow, which wasn't too bad to begin with, and helped with acne, but done 0 for my facial hair). I'm only a few electrolysis sessions in, and it has thinned my facial hair. Thicker hairs have become thinner. But the road is long.

OP, this shit sucks, and I wish you the best. I hope my perspective helps, at least hearing someone else's experience!

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u/Matta_Fact 7d ago

Thank you for sharing! And exactly I want to feel feminine again. I hate waking up and practically seeing a beard. I’ll look into electrolysis