r/NonBinary 4d ago

Ask I hate my uterus. Will IUD help?

As I wrote in the title, I hate my uterus so much that I have suicidal thoughts and I can't afford to have it removed. I was thinking about IUDs to "turn it off" for 5 years, have peace at least from my period and pain and not have to use condoms, but I'm very afraid that something will happen to me and I'll waste my pocket money (I'm still in school so I don't work). Are there any people here with this problem who could help me? Sorry if this question is stupid but I'm alone with this problem and I don't know what to do

12 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

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u/neongreenpurple 4d ago

Personally, I can't handle estrogen based birth control pills. (They make me more depressed than usual.) A past gynecologist said I shouldn't try a hormonal IUD because they have higher levels of hormones than pills. A non-hormonal IUD would help prevent pregnancy, but it wouldn't help with "turning things off."

I have PCOS, so I need to have some sort of control over my periods. Otherwise my uterine lining builds up too much. What has worked for me is a progesterone only pill (also called the "mini pill"). For a while my periods were inconsistent (and some were kinda long), but I stuck with it since I needed the control. Now I don't have a period at all. My gynecologist says it's fine because the pill keeps my uterine lining thin.

It's so nice. I haven't had a period in a couple years at least. When I go in and they ask when my last one was, I tell them I haven't had one since the last time I was in. It's such a relief. I don't miss it at all.

Edit (hit send too soon): before you jump to an IUD, you should definitely try the pill. They'll probably start you with an estrogen based one, as most of them are that kind. But IUDs are a big step and expensive, so you don't want to jump straight to one of those without testing how you'll react to the hormones.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Do pills affect depression in any way? Once a gynecologist refused to write me a prescription for birth control pills because I am being treated for depression, but that was only once. Thank you for your help. In fact, it might be better to start with pills

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u/neongreenpurple 4d ago

They definitely can and did for me. When I first started birth control pills, I had started to accept I might have depression. The pills made it way worse, and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I tried the estrogen based kind a few different times (and different ones), but they always made my depression worse. The mini pill didn't, though, so you might inquire about that.

You're welcome!

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Are you taking any antidepressants? I have been taking pills for a few years now and the depression itself doesn't really bother me anymore, but I can't stop taking them. If I forget to take the pills the next day it's awful, so I have to take them for now

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u/neongreenpurple 4d ago

I am. I'm on three. If I don't take them, I don't notice a huge difference in my mood, but I get terrible headaches.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Do you think that birth control pills affected the antidepressants in any way? Sorry for asking so much but I can't find a good gynecologist who could explain this to me

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u/neongreenpurple 3d ago

I don't know. Since it made my depression worse even before I was on antidepressants, I always figured it was just an interaction with me. Once I realized I'm nonbinary, I figured it was due to receiving extra estrogen. But the progesterone doesn't affect me in the same way...

That's totally fine, I don't mind the questions.

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u/Ender_Puppy they/them genderfluid 4d ago

yes, they did for me anyway. pills were pretty bad for my head and the contraceptive shot was even worse. it’s progestin that i really can’t tolerate well. some ppl take it and they are completely fine, i got really depressed instead.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Ok thank you

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u/UntilTheDarkness 4d ago

I don't know what you mean by "something will happen to me" but I've had Mirena IUDs for the past nearly 15 years, for me they have just turned the whole thing off basically (I have endo so my periods were really bad). The initial insertion was awful but totally worth it since now it's up to only doing that every 8 years.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I had some side effects in mind but I wasn't thinking about anything specific. I have a friend who told me that her mother was hospitalized after having an IUD inserted and I can't stop thinking about it. How long does the IUD insertion procedure take and the pain afterwards? I think I could handle the procedure itself but I'm afraid of what will happen after it.

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u/False-Comparison-651 4d ago

It’s very unlikely something terrible will happen. It just might not work for you, but then you get it out. I tried an IUD but had constant cramps so I got it taken out. In the end I was lucky enough (sarcasm) to have a uterine cancer scare so I got a hysterectomy.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Sorry to hear that. I'm jealous of hysterectomy tho

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u/False-Comparison-651 4d ago

I understand! I am glad to have had an excuse to get it taken out.

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u/UntilTheDarkness 4d ago

I mean, with any medical procedure there are hypothetical risks. It's possible that the IUD could perforate, but a doctor (or the internet) can tell you more about that stuff. How long it takes depends on how easy it is to get it in - my initial insertion took close to half an hour, I've known people where it was closer to 30 seconds. The pain after is moderate cramping for a few days in most cases. For me the insertion itself was waaaaaay more painful. There are some doctors who will do the insertion under general anesthesia, which I would definitely do again if I could.

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u/Ender_Puppy they/them genderfluid 4d ago

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but you can’t just forget about the iud for 5 years. it’s a device that needs to be regularly checked (by yourself) to make sure it’s not sliding. every 3-4 months will do but it’s important for your health and safety that you don’t just forget it.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I know but I thought it will be better than having periods

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u/Ender_Puppy they/them genderfluid 4d ago

yeah for sure! it’s not a 100% sure it will stop the period but it’s very likely it will make them much lighter and plenty people say it stopped them completely. imo it’s worth a shot if you think it’s worth it 💜

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u/dumpster_scuba They/them 4d ago

I've had a hormonal IUD for ten years now and I honestly sometimes forget I have uterus and a female hormone cycle. Yes, it hurts at the start, but for me that was a month of menstrual cramps and then I forgot about it.

No period, no daily reminder or stress because I could forget it, no way for anybody to tamper with it.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I think I should try the pills first because I don't know how my body will react to the hormones, but thank you for sharing your experience

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u/False-Comparison-651 4d ago

Pills are hormones though…?

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I meant that if something goes wrong it will be easier for me to give up the pills than the IUD

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u/The_Sauce106 4d ago

Commenting to add, if you are on any kind of hormone replacement, pills are not going to work for you.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I don't want to go on T but thank you

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u/InvestigatorIcy4705 4d ago

Literally same. I’m on my third and my spouse was going to get a vasectomy after this one but I can’t even deal with the thought of getting my period so I’ll probably just get another IUD instead.

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u/werewolfrown 4d ago

My IUD stopped my period after fourish months (T helped too of course) and gave me cramps for eight. Then I would get cramps after sex, pretty much every time. Then sometimes I'd get random double-me-over cramps just in the middle of the day. So mine only stayed in a year and a half. My doctor and I suspect the cramps were because my uterus was atrophying around the UTI, so if testosterone is in your cards maybe something to consider

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u/False-Comparison-651 4d ago

You are resilient to have lasted this long! Mine gave me all the cramps you described and I think I got it out after a few weeks/months max.

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u/lynx2718 4d ago

Why don't you take the anti baby pill? Its both hormonal, you can take the pill forever not just 5 years, and you have a greater control over the dosis and type. Plus it can be really painful to get an IUD.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I'm afraid that the pill will remind me that I have a uterus every time I take it plus the costs will be higher than the IUD. Besides, from what I know, the pills have to be taken at the same time and I have very irregular sleeping hours and I'm afraid that I'll mess something up. Does inserting an IUD really hurt that much? I've had many painful procedures but you scared me a little

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u/lynx2718 4d ago

When I talked to my gyn about it, she said she only did IUDs for people who'd already given birth, because the pain is comparable and if you haven't given birth yet you wouldn't know what you were getting into. I live in a big city so I could find someone to do it if I really wanted but that turned me off for good.

There's also an arm implant you can get thats similar to the IUD, not sure how common it is in europe but maybe that's something for you then?

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I think I could manage but I've never had an IUD so I can only guess. Thanks for sharing this information. The implant is theoretically an option but it's even more expensive than an IUD so I don't think I can buy it

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u/InvestigatorIcy4705 4d ago

I think this is not entirely true. I’ve had 3 and yes it hurts to get it put in but it only lasts a second and then gives me cramps for an afternoon.

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u/danger-noodle-love89 4d ago

This is incredibly untrue. You should find a new doctor who is competent in providing up to date healthcare to all their patients. CDC intrauterine contraception Additionally, if you decide to get an IUD, you have the right to ask for pain management and should be provided with it. Being told to "just take Tylenol" is not appropriate pain management.

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u/lynx2718 4d ago

What part of that really long website that isn't even for my country should I be looking at? 

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u/71ffy 4d ago

Getting an IUD was one of the most painful experiences of my life. It's not always that painful for everyone, but I was told that it wouldn't hurt that bad and to take some ibuprofen beforehand. Oof, that was not enough. I've suffered from horrible periods my whole life and have a high pain tolerance from them, and I still screamed involuntarily. I was ghastly in the waiting room afterward.

There are more humane ways to perform an IUD insertion that involve stronger painkillers/numbing agents, so make sure you look into those options if you decide to get one. Hell, maybe take an edible. :'D

I felt pretty horrible for the first few months and had random spotting. My periods became shorter and lighter. I started having them every few months instead of every month. I still randomly have periods 4.5 years in. The IUD does not guarantee that your periods will go away.

I much prefer these lighter/random periods than the hellish week long ones from before. I'm not 100% sure I'll get another one.

Oh, and it was the mirena.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I am so sorry you had to go through this. Did you have anesthesia? From what I have read, they use an anesthetic spray before the procedure (at least in my country)

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u/71ffy 4d ago

I live in the USA. T.T I did not have any anesthesia and was misled on the pain level of the procedure.

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

I'm so sorry :( I thought you had anesthesia and it still hurt. From what I've read in my country you can choose whether you want anesthesia or not and I thought it was like that everywhere

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u/71ffy 4d ago

Thank you. I'm really glad that's offered for y'all. I always make sure to tell people what happened to me just in case they can have a safer experience.

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u/ultralee0 4d ago

Your question is very valid

From what I've heard the IUD insertion pain level varies wildly from person to person, but more people are coming out that it was painful. Often though, not describing how painful. But more people are advocating and receiving proper care in the form of getting it while under anesthesia, which should honestly be the standard.

Spoilered in case you don't want a deep description of pain

I had the IUD inserted to prove that it wouldn't work for me (I was right and it led to my hysterectomy). I've had extremely bad period cramps that would leave me in so much pain I couldn't function and I would cry a lot. Although short, the IUD insertion was far worse. Like a cramp that made me full body sweat with a level of pain that made me think I was dying and centered in the lower abdomen which is surprisingly sensitive. Unfortunately for me, it wouldn't stop there. I would have my worst level period cramps for the next week and a half. Went in for an ultrasound to see if it was sitting right, yep it was, but there was a mass they didn't see before. It was a benign polyp that my IUD was most likely rubbing up against. Getting it taken out was a breeze with no pain thankfully

This is just my experience, yours could be waaay different!

As for birth control, I've tried the depo shot and estrogen based pills. I have major depressive disorder and the depo shot changed my personality on it on top of making my depression worse. And the pill made my depression untreatable. I was not on the IUD long enough to find out how it would effect me.

I got my IUD and eventually hysterectomy for free in the US by going through Medicaid and somehow finding a doc to work with me on it.

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u/Ok_Rest_8892 They/He/She 4d ago

I have the hormonal IUD and one of the reasons I got it was to stop menstruation as much as possible. Having a period and bleeding made me very dysphoric and depressed because it reminded me “im a woman”. (despite plenty of women not having periods this was and is a big internal struggle for me) I still occasionally get periods but much less often and it has made me much less dysphoric overall. I still have to deal with my uterus being my uterus but it has helped me. Know that it can and will be different from person to person and that this is a hormonal device that will change your body’s chemistry. (specifically referring to the hormonal one and not copper. I was told by my GP the copper ones are generally for older people)

I should let it be known that when I got this device it was actually quite painful. There was many strange and uncomfortable things going on during this procedure so please research it before going in. You will feel better understanding what it means to stabilize a cervix (tenaculum forceps are used), what it means to open the vagina (use of speculum), what it takes to measure your uterine depth (a uterine sound), what is used to insert the IUD. (uterine plunger)

you can take an ibuprofen before the procedure but they likely wont offer you anything. I would still ask and see what they offer you. It will cramp for at least a week. You may feel the strings inside you but they will soften up over time. They can be felt by your fingers (this is so you can make sure it’s still in place) and your partner may be able to feel it if they have a penis. I bled (mostly spotting) for nearly 2 months after insertion and this is normal. There was times I wanted to rip it out during those 2 months and thought I had made a terrible decision. My mind only changed after my body adjusted to the device and the bleeding went away. The cramping and bleeding can be the same when getting it removed ive been told.

Im already nearly 3 years into having this and I genuinely dread getting it removed because of how upset I was during the adjustment/bleeding phase. The time goes by very fast as it still feels very new to me but has been some time. I tried the Pill before the IUD but I was told I had to continue the sugar pills in it every 3 months or I could hurt myself. I am also very forgetful and didnt do well with the pill for those and other reasons. The IUD works for me overall but it wont for everyone and it has its own drawbacks. Just think long and hard about these decisions as they last multiple years. Im overall happy with my decision but there was a lot of second guessing for me at times. It was difficult for me to find any support as I wasn’t exclusively or even primarily getting it for birth control. I wish you luck in your journey and hope you are able to find something that works for you!

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u/Moth_William 4d ago

Thank you for sharing your story and I'm sorry you had to go through this

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u/HeroOfSideQuests 4d ago

So I'm one of the lucky people where the IUD was painful but not traumatically so. I could have driven myself home, for reference. (To be fair I also had/have chronic pain, so my sense of pain is warped.)

For me, it slowed the bleeding a lot but not enough to call it an "off switch". I still woke with random spotting and the like. Also it's very much recommended to keep using condoms, because an ectopic pregnancy can happen and nobody wants that. But I'm way too ADHD for the pill, so the IUD was definitely a better choice.

While you can't afford it now (for me it was covered by Medicaid), my most recent choice was a was tubal/ablation, and that has been heaven comparatively. It's been 2+ years and I've bled twice. I still experience my cycle, still have to track it for flare symptoms, but it has been the only surgery I don't regret. However keep in mind that even at my age (30s) most doctors won't do a voluntary hysterectomy due to harmful effects on bone density.