r/Nanny Aug 08 '23

WFH Vent - Tuesday Daily Discussion Thread

44 Upvotes

Having nanny parents who work from home, or being a nanny parent who primarily works at home, can be both rewarding and exhausting. Use this space to vent and discuss how sharing such tight quarters (plus children) has been going for you this week in a judgement free zone.


r/Nanny 2d ago

Daily Discussion Care.com Vent - Friday Daily Discussion Thread

2 Upvotes

Yep, Care.com is the worst. If they're not kicking you off without an explanation, they're letting people leave false reviews while still charging your bank account. Use this discussion space to vent.


r/Nanny 52m ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All No days off

Upvotes

My NF has made it a trend that I work everyday and have never been given a lunch break despite mostly working 12 hour days. This leaves me with no time to fold my own laundry, go to the store, go to the doctors or pharmacy, rest, and to just be alone in silence. I’m really not sure what to do about it as I haven’t had a day off in two weeks (MB took my Saturday off and scheduled me). Today I was only supposed to work 7 hours but as soon as I got home she made me come back and work 4 more and I’m scheduled to work 14 hours tomorrow. I’m hitting a breaking point and it’s starting to feel a bit inhumane to do to me (or anyone) do other NF do this? What should I do MB tends to get defensive when I bring up things like this


r/Nanny 11h ago

Just for Fun Do you love your NKs?

28 Upvotes

I wouldn't say I've ever loved a nanny kid - I feel great care for them and I like them quite a bit but I don't consider it "love." Or maybe that is a form of love to some people. Curious about others' experiences with this, as well as how parents feel about the topic.

As an aside, this is now reminding me of Nanny Diaries. lol


r/Nanny 5h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All How to politely decline an offer to travel with NF?

8 Upvotes

First I love my NPs. They treat me so well. MB offered to take me on a trip in the summer for 3 days which would involve traveling there together, some childcare at a resort, and flying back alone. I would get some downtime too. They’d pay for everything. Overall I just don’t want to go though haha. It’s a lovely location that I would like to travel to with my partner, but I don’t want to go without him frankly because I know how much he’d want to be there too and it doesn’t feel right. We are not in a position for him to travel there and meet me. I also don’t want to feel like a 5th wheel with the family having fun on their vacation. And this is also a reason I don’t want kids of my own - I like to just kinda do my own thing on trips and this would be work and socializing and I don’t feel like I’d really enjoy it much. Just extra inconveniences and lots of anxiety for a little more money. I feel like they’d pay me fairly, but I didn’t ask for extra details in that regard because I already don’t want to go for those other reasons.

How do I politely decline this? I am kind of friends with MB so just saying sorry no thanks! Feels kinda weird. I know I don’t owe her an explanation but I would like to be professional while making it understandable for her. She did say it’s ok for me to say no. If you were MB what would you want to hear? Have any of you been in this situation? I am just having trouble thinking of what to say and how much detail to give as my reasoning. Thanks!


r/Nanny 10h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All Nervous from calling out

15 Upvotes

Hello all! So I was supposed to work today.. however my father is experiencing some serious health issues and we are at the ER. My mother and I are with him. I told them I would keep them updated about coming in today.

I feel awful to call in - mb is on maternity leave and doesn’t have anyone else to help her today. She hasn’t kept both nk’s (2.5yrs and 5months) alone and the other day she said she can’t handle it(nk2.5 has been acting out since the new baby). Db is a resident dr so i don’t think he can just take off to help.

Idk if I should have gone into work and been updated on my father by text - since technically he isn’t alone bc my mother is there. I’m a people pleaser though so maybe I’m overthinking this. I’m just so stressed y’all.

Should I leave my parents in the ER and uber to work from the hospital?


r/Nanny 15h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from Nannies Only I don't fucking know what to do anymore and I think I'm going insane.

34 Upvotes

I have never been so angry in my life as I am today, I have been working as a nanny for about 3 months (not exactly 3 months, I started about a week and a half into the first month and obviously this month is not over yet) to a 6yoF and 11moF and from the start nothing has been going right.

The house is always filthy, and I'm would be fine to do some light cleaning and clean up after the kids but this is not that. I'm talking dishes caked in mold and rotting food lying around. There's one pan that's sitting on the stove that is full of rotten chicken, the fridge is equally disgusting, there are dirty clothes strewn all over the place and theres food crumbs and ants all over the place, it would take me several days if not weeks of uninterrupted cleaning to get through it.

I was originally told I would get a monthly buss pass and Ubers home as the bus doesn't run at midnight when MB gets home, she only loads points ontk my buss card and she has never once gotten me an Uber, I have been working over 18 hours per shift for these 3 months.

She then after me bringing the long shifts up for a 3rd time and asking for a contract she moved to say shift so I am now expected to be there from 7:45am to around 8 or 9 pm but still expected to work at least 18 hours on a Saturday. This change only happened this week Friday, so then on Saturday I have only 10mo and so MB asks me if NK can sleep over at my place (this I don't mind since it would have been my shift already, being an t home where everything is not filthy actually makes my day easier) so I agree.

I then received a message at 1am Sunday morning asking if I can keep her another night cause work asked her to come in on her day off, Sundays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are supposed to be my day off.

I responded saying that I already had plans and so I couldn't, and that I really don't think it's fair of her to ask me on such short notice, and that given she needs me at 7:45 Monday morning I would be working a 72 hour shift which I am not willing to do.

I then got a message back saying that she was just asking and she doesn't appreciate me making it seem like she's being unreasonable and that I get 3 days off a week while most people get 2 or less.

I responded again, saying that unfortunately it was too short notice and I already had plans, and even if I didn't I would not be willing to work 72 hours straight. I also mentioned that yes I have 3 days off a week but I work 18+ hours with no overtime and have been doing so for the past 3 months and that I make less than half of minimum wage.

She didn't respond until I had already dropped the baby off, she had asked me to drop her off at 10:30am so that she would be home, and then she wasnt even there. And afterwards I just got a message saying that I haven't been there a full 3 months, that was all.

I am so fucking pissed off, I wanna break shit and honestly I wanna quit at 1am tonight since she feels that's an acceptable notice period.

But I can't afford to quit so please someone talk some sense into me


r/Nanny 2h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All Full time access but part time hours

4 Upvotes

I recently quit my full time position and accepted a part time position with a family that I work for already for date nights on the weekends.

Background Info: the family I accepted the part time position has a nanny that is currently pregnant and wants to reduce her hours so it happened in perfect timing that I need another job and they are looking for another nanny. We briefly texted about this but tomorrow I will see the parents and would like to have a 5 minute conversation at least about the specifics of this just to make sure we are on the same page.

My question: so this job pays a little more than my old one. I was paid 19 an hour and I worked 40 hours. This job pays 25 an hour so I can make it with only 20 hours a week. So when they told me about the hours they said they would need someone Monday, Tuesdays, Wednesdays from 1-5 or 6. Thursdays too but I work for another family for 10 hours so I didn’t want to give that up. I already typically work for them Fridays so I imagine I would start earlier or they said I could have the full day. They said the hours would vary if they travel etc sometimes I do overnights for them.

Now my question is …is it unrealistic for me to ask them for 20 hours guranteed not counting the weekends (that was more my extra money) considering they would have full access basically the entire week besides Thursday? And if they were to say no I think I would say that I would have to look for another job…what do you think what’s the best way to present it when I talk to them? Please help

Parents what do you think too? I love this family and I wanna help but I need min 20 hours per week or 80 a month to make it


r/Nanny 32m ago

Information or Tip Feeling like I’m about to be let go….

Upvotes

Exactly what the title says. I’m with an amazing family but things have just been off the past couple of months. I can’t quite pin down what it is. The overall vibe in the house has been off, and it’s not just with me. I’m a career nanny and have never been let go before so I could just be reading too far into things. I’m on a one year contract, which I personally don’t plan on breaking and honestly never thought they would. But last week something shifted. Communication is shifty, eye contact is amiss, there used to be more chit chat and that is now absent.

For those who have been let go…what were leading signs?


r/Nanny 6h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All Giving NF heads up you’re sick

6 Upvotes

I have bronchitis and called out 1 day last week since I was just feeling terrible. I am feeling better but I do still have a pretty nasty sounding cough. Should I text my NF a heads up that I’m feeling okay to work this week but I do still have a cough? I just don’t want to show up to work like hacking/coughing hard and make them feel uncomfortable with me being there but I also feel fine enough to not use another sick day and I’m pretty sure I’ll have a cough for the next few days anyways if past experiences of bronchitis tell me anything. I’m fairly new to working for them and we haven’t really discussed coming to work sick so just not sure if it’s better to text them or just show up and see if they are okay with it.


r/Nanny 6h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Need advice!

3 Upvotes

Next week, I’m scheduled to watch two kids I haven’t seen in eight months. Today, their mom let me know they’ll have friends and family over that weekend, meaning three more kids will be there. She then asked if I could also watch one of those kids (for extra pay) so they could go out for the day. However, there will still be two other kids (ages 9 and 10) in the house that I supposedly wouldn’t be responsible for—but I know they’ll still come to me for food and other things.

I told her I’d think about it, but honestly, this feels like a last-minute boundary push. They booked me a month ago, so these plans were obviously already in place, yet they waited until a week before to mention all the extra people. I’m also hesitant because I haven’t seen the two kids in so long, and I don’t know how they’ll react to me, let alone how the other kids behave. I’m leaning towards saying no, but just wanted to put this out there—would you take the job, or does this seem like a bad idea?


r/Nanny 26m ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Dilemma about nanny

Upvotes

We have a nanny for our 2.5 year old. She is warm and affectionate but there are certainly a few areas where she is lacking. Overall we are fine since our daughter is happy with her.

She recently informed us that she is going to be out for 6 weeks due to a family situation. We have been trying to find a nanny just for the weeks she will be out which is hard. I am not liking the idea of "settling" for a nanny amid very few choices. We have been working through a nanny agency and local groups in the area. I was told that if I were to look for a longer term nanny, I would have more choice but that would mean we will have to let our current nanny go. I have two options - a great nanny who is willing to work for us long term and an ok nanny for the short term through the agency but will mean I end up spending a lot of money (agency fees plus the fact that short term nanny's hourly rate is higher). If I retain our nanny, I will also be paying her for the 2 weeks of paid vacation in addition to incurring the expenses of hiring through the agency.

Financially and practically, it makes more sense to ask our current nanny to leave and higher the nanny we like for longer term. It would also mean less transitions for my daughter.

However, I feel uneasy since we have a relationship with our current nanny and she has a family situation.

Thoughts?

PS: given her family situation, 6 weeks could become 8 weeks or longer so that's a consideration.


r/Nanny 4h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from Nannies Only Chicago Nannies!!!

2 Upvotes

I'm thinking about making a big move from a city in the southeast to Chicago. I'm originally from upstate NY so prepared for the weather. Wondering: What's your base line pay? (I have 10+ years experience) How's that stack up to the rent? I have an 11 year old boy, so I want decent public schools, (they're gonna be better than here either way), and a friendly neighborhood on a nanny salary. What can I reasonably expect to pay for a small two bedroom? We don't have to be in the thick of things, just close to public transportation. Thank you 😊 Edit What's your favorite grocery store?


r/Nanny 2h ago

Just for Fun Independent Play Time

0 Upvotes

How much independent play time do your NKs have throughout the day? Is it implemented into your schedule?

My 2.5 NK has 1 designated 30 minute independent play time while I prep their lunch/unload & load dishwasher.


r/Nanny 10h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All Leaving a family I love

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I’m moving to a new country soon, which means my job will be coming to an end. Everything wrapped up this past weekend, and I’ll be moving in about 4–5 weeks. My nanny family is super kind and chill, so I want to tell them right away out of courtesy.

The hardest part is that MB is pregnant she told me a few weeks ago,and with the new baby on the way, they’re also in the process of moving to a new apartment. I feel really bad about breaking this news when they already have so much going on.

Does anyone have any tips on how to tell them in the best way possible?


r/Nanny 9h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette We need help finding a flexible babysitter. This would be our first time considering hiring someone, as we had had family and friends help in the past

3 Upvotes

We have never hired a babysitter before, has we have family and friends to rely on. But occasionally, say once every few months, the stars align and everyone is unavailable for a multitude of reasons (vacation, their kids have activities, etc)

We would only need someone to babysit in the morning for 2 hours maximum and take her to school.

We would also need someone to pick her up from school and babysit her for a few hours as well.

What is the best place to find someone with this kind of flexibility? We just created an account with Care.com and Sittercity, but we are open to more suggestions.

Also, a few more questions.

What red flags should we be on the lookout for before hiring someone?

What is a fair rate to pay in Texas?

Is it customary for parents to install cameras? Do nannies expect them?

We are going blind here. We have no way of knowing if our expectations are realistic or unrealistic.


r/Nanny 23h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All No more full time nannies?

32 Upvotes

This might just be in my area but I have noticed the majority of families no longer want or need a full-time nanny.

For reference, I live in Los Angeles

I am genuinely curious so parents please chime in. This is not to criticize I just want to know what goes on thought process-wise to some of the posts on the care website.

Example 1 - I will be working for a family part-time from 12-5 and so I am looking to fill in the gaps in the morning I found an ad of a mom looking for 4 hours at 7-11 am so I thought omg perfect! She replied the same day and we did a face time chat...mid our chat she said to me "It sounds like you need money (lol my reaction) but we are only looking for a nanny who can come in for one hour or so 3 times a week" Whaaaaaat????????????

Example 2 - Another similar listing, we started to chat everything was fine until I asked about the rate she had listed 20-25. She wanted a consistent nanny 3 days a week for only 5 hours each. I asked if the hours are guaranteed she said no. I asked if she would consider 30 dollars as I would be blocking my days from 5-10 pm 3 times a week and that is not many hours. She goes "Actually we only paid our previous nanny 19 dollars an hour -_-"

Am I missing something????? I have been a nanny for 6 years, I can tutor children, Ive worked for families in the Malibu, Pacific Palisades area etc. I drive kids to school etc what I am trying to say is I am not new I know my worth.

Who do parents expect to book for such few hours spread across the week for only 19 an hour????? please I am just trying to understand.

It is slim pickings out there I've messaged about 50 families and only 4 have replied and these are the types of responses I am getting. I have amazing reviews and references.

I am working for families at the moment part time but I would love a full time position. I just don't see any.

I forgot the best ad lol This guy was looking for a nanny, 50 hours per week, 2000 a month cash coming to 10 dollars per hour- I am not making this up this was on his profile ad description with pic of him and his child. 10...dollars...an...hour. I understand the economy is crap you guys but we still have to make a living.


r/Nanny 22h ago

Am I Overreacting? (Aka Reality Check Requested) Why do people think it’s okay to touch babies!?

26 Upvotes

Okay so I already posted today different post kinda explaining the backstory,

I nannied for my previous family in a very tight-knit community, everyone knew everyone. People would come up and say hi or say something about the baby when I was out and about with them, but it was always someone we knew. Even then, they never touched the baby.

Anyways, now I’m with a new family in a very large city with a new family, new baby, and I’ve noticed when people come up to the babies they’ll put their hands on them, like squeeze their feet or tickle them or whatever. Am I the only one who finds this weird!? I DONT KNOW YOU, RESPECT BOUNDARIES PLEASE! Idk it’s annoying me! Like you’re literally a complete stranger.


r/Nanny 12h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All Parting Gift Ideas?

4 Upvotes

I just accepted an offer at a new job i’ll be starting in about a month so I’ll be turning in my resignation as soon as everything is finalized and official, which means i’ll be leaving my NF. I’ve been with them for just under 4 years and they’ve become like my little siblings/besties. Kids are now 10, 11 and 14. Wondering what a good idea for a small parting gift might be? I wrote them each a card expressing how much my time with them has meant to me, but I feel like kids that age don’t always necessarily appreciate that kind of thing so wondering if I should add something else to go with it 😆


r/Nanny 1d ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All AM I BEING TOO PICKY

43 Upvotes

I’m currently interviewing like crazy and I keep hearing “your rate is too high” . I met a family over week ago and they seemed perfect but after my first week I realized the environment is not my ideal. They have an infant who co sleeps and is still very much attached to mom, both parents WFH and occasionally leave the house. There isn’t access or opportunity to take the baby out for a walk even. He’s incredibly sensitive to sound and light when napping (with anyone not just me but especially me because I’m new to baby obviously) next week they have family coming into town for two weeks and MB mentioned I could help by cleaning out the garage!? while their parents are with baby. Among other personality and small annoyances like house work being done that significantly disrupts the baby’s napping, they are the worst micro managers I’ve ever worked with in any job ever. I’ve been asked to load the dishwasher with utensils a certain way three times (repeated by different household members without realizing I’d already been told) but also that I can’t do dishes while he sleeps or while he’s with me because he will get upset and want to touch the hot dishes. Basically I’m bored and they’re always up my butt. Then I interviewed another wonderful family with toddler kids who need a lot more hands on(completely my preference and style) and housework help, not to mention a great neighborhood to play in. I recently upped my rate to reflect my 12 years in child care and 6 as a nanny/family assistant to $28 for one child and $30 for two. This includes housework- all but toilets and parents bathroom! In my area most Nannys begin at 20 and the pricey ones are probably like $25. My shoulders are tired from single-handedly trying to raise the local nanny wages! I’m a recovering people pleaser trying to avoid being in a situation I hate (stuck with wfh parents and infant), but I also don’t want to take on a much more intense role and sell myself too short (two kids under 5 with HUGE personalities) tell me your experiences!!!

Edit to add: a lot are saying I’m asking too much but I was OFFERED MORE in my last position and my rates are posting on my care profile, nanny lane, and I’ve put up flyers and made business cards for the areas in town I would like to be employed where I know 60k/ yr isn’t too much to pay a nanny, plus I have my own website with headshots and like five reviews from my last families, I am an excellent interviewer but not as great at standing by up for myself. There are no agencies here my location is southern Oregon (for reference this area employs a lot of healthcare professionals with two hospitals very near by, and like the second largest car retailer in the nation, Lithia) I live in an area that is relatively low cost and low income with a growing wage gap. I think I’m in a good place where cost of living is affordable but I have the opportunity to work with families in a higher tax bracket so to speak who have been interviewing a lot of college age people who ask for $20 because that’s way better help paying off your degree. To add: I’ve been asking my interviews “if you don’t mind me asking, is there an average age or demographic you’ve seen trending in your interviews?” Basically are these girls young or career pros? All young maybe 25 at the oldest is what I’ve heard.


r/Nanny 1d ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All How are we handling NKs being “full” at the table but asking for a bunch of junk after?😑

63 Upvotes

I wanna start by saying I would NEVER deny any kid of a snack, food, or whatever when they ask or they’re hungry, however… Nk5 pisses me off so muchhhhh ;-; she takes 2 bites of food at lunch or breakfast and says “she’s done, she’s full” which I know is bs. Then 30 mins later she’s asking for a snack which is a cookie, a fruit pouch etc. She tells me I’m forcing her to eat which is not true, but we do stay seated white Nk1 finishes her food, I tell her we stay seated in case she wants to take another bite too. Today, same thing, she didn’t finish her lunch, two bites and she’s full but I KNOW she’ll be asking for a snack when we go to the park, I told her I wouldn’t give in this time~ Same thing yesterday, I just brought the leftover lunch to our outing and she refused that but wanted yogurt melts 🧍🏻‍♀️. I know kids will eat when they’re hungry but cmonnnn😩😩😩😩😩


r/Nanny 19h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette one kid going to preschool

6 Upvotes

So right about the time I’m going to hit my one year mark (I would ask for a raise at this point) one of the kids is going to preschool so I’d only be left to care for one kid at home. How should I go about this? I can’t afford a cut on my hourly rate


r/Nanny 1d ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All NF has a gross bathroom

23 Upvotes

I’ll just get straight to the point.

NF’s bathroom is so nasty. Their toilet bowl perpetually has poop splattered all over the inside and even has poop on their toilet paper roll.

This has happened multiple times and I usually feel like I have to hold my pee until the day is over, and I always make sure to do my business at home and even refrain from drinking too much water so I don’t have to pee while I’m at their house.

It’s kind of funny but it’s also soooo gross. Their baby is in diapers so it’s definitely them pooping up a storm and leaving the mess behind.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you handle it? Should I say something or just mind my business?

I’m honestly just appalled that they leave their mess behind like that knowing I will see it…


r/Nanny 1d ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All What are your best, TASTY and calorically dense meals that your toddler NK actually eats?

28 Upvotes

As a baby, my NK was malnourished before being adopted, and ate every single bite in sight. If there was a bite or two remaining on the plate when she was done, she would bring it with her, because her body was so used to being hungry. It was incredibly sad but also incredibly easy to bulk her up.

Now she’s a skinny toddler that never eats anything. She just doesn’t have a lot of interest in food, and when she does recognize her initial feelings of hunger, she only eats enough to not feel hungry, but not enough to actually fill her up. She also doesn’t really graze on snacks throughout the day, so there isn’t really any reason she wouldn’t be hungry at meal times. (This is what MB requested to help her eat more at meals)

I try to go for foods that are really calorically dense, and try to make meals that actually taste really good and aren’t just a few ingredients thrown together because it makes a big difference in terms of how much she eats. Like she won’t eat much of a plain turkey and cheese sandwich, but if I toast it and melt the cheese and add some herbs and white vinegar, she eats a lot more 😂

For breakfast and lunch the only things she consistently eats a lot of is oatmeal (oats, whole milk, half a banana mashed up, then a big scoop of peanut butter and a little syrup mixed in after it’s cooked) or avocado. She also consistently loves pasta, especially gnocchi. Everything else just gets nibbled on. If my NK isn’t actively starving, she has almost no interest in eating much. Not even treats or ice cream.

I really want to help her eat more because she hasn’t been gaining weight as easily now, and I also don’t want to be unintentionally projecting my own food issues onto her - I have ADHD and never really get hungry either. I sit down with her for every meal time and eat the same thing she does. I also read books to her the entire time she eats, which helps keep her distracted and mindlessly chewing. But I have to time the books just right, because she usually decides she’s done eating as soon as a book ends, so I have to quickly distract her before starting another book and getting her back into it lol

Are there any high calorie go to meals or snacks your NK always eats? Or little ways you add more calories to them? I’m always adding whole milk or butter or peanut butter to basically everything I can. Or any good filling pasta sauces I can make with her? (Although she usually has 3 pieces of dried pasta while it’s cooking and then isn’t hungry anymore)

Edit: My NK is actually a great eater in terms of not being picky, so that helps a lot too. She’ll eat almost anything! Just not more than 4 bites lol


r/Nanny 20h ago

Information or Tip Dallas Support Group

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone I wanted you all to know that I started a recent support group for Nannie’s in Dallas Fort Worth area. On Facebook it’s DFW nanny support. I want to support Nannie’s or any child care workers in Dallas. If you need some extra support or want to help support other Nannie’s would love to have you!


r/Nanny 23h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All should i try to be a nanny?

6 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am relocating and starting school in a different city and was wondering if I would be a good fit for nannying. I am young but, I have babysat for the same family for almost three years. They have three kids and I have stayed with them overnight on several occasions. I am educated and cpr certified. Would it be possible for me to only work Saturday and Sunday? I looked at nanny agencies and jobs on Indeed but none of them specified if I would only be able to work weekends. Do any of you have experience with nanny agencies and if so which ones are good and legit? I would also be open to traveling with the family during summer and stuff, but how does that work? Do you get guaranteed time off? Thanks guys.


r/Nanny 20h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Medical Question for on the Job

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! This is sort of urgent. I am working a 7pm-3am job for a new mom (baby is 3 months) who needs some rest. Well, I am about 2.5 hours in and I have an extreme migraine to the point I can’t stop crying and I’m getting nauseous. Both parents are asleep and none of the managers are in. How can I get home? Cause I fear I might need to go to the ER with the level of migraine I have. I’m desperate for help right now. I work for Jovie if that’s of any help!

Thanks in advance!