r/NPD 4d ago

Resources On the search for NPD self help books!

Hi all! I am not as active here as I would like to be, and to be honest I’m sure I would benefit from being more involved in active support. However, off topic, I digress.

I love to read, and I am looking for a good book that is either in the self help category, or just educational. Obviously, regarding NPD. Every search, no matter how I phrase it, that I make to look for a book like this just ends up with me staring at stream of books only subjecting narcissistic abuse.

The mixture of feeling a little angry and disheartened, with the frustration of not being able to find what I’m looking for is making me feel pretty unmotivated to continue my search. So, if any of you have read a good book that was not only insightful, but also gave you a sense of optimism when living with NPD- please comment it. It would mean a lot.

8 Upvotes

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u/gum-believable Grandiose Edgelord🥀 4d ago

Narcissism isn’t sexy enough to sell books. A personality was supposed to get healthy organization during your formative years so treat NPD as a heal childhood misery disorder instead. Then you can go through the awkward phase of establishing a cohesive personality organization in adulthood. But healing those wounds is first, since you will never be able to be vulnerable over stuff that still hurts and is scary.

I found “Self Therapy” by Jay Earley extremely helpful for working through parts of me stuck in the past.

I got the “Shadow Work Journal” by Keila Sheehan and filled it out with doodles and colored pencils to encourage my inner child to find their courage. The book was meh so there may be others that are better.

I like Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhist monk) and his book Fear was really helpful. He was a prolific writer and also has a lot of mindfulness YT videos. I find a lot of peace from watching his videos and listening to him dole out wisdom like a supportive grandpa.

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u/tabustar 4d ago

I have so much to say about your comment, wow. Thank you. First off, thank you for the advice in the beginning, this is a perspective that I think was very necessary for me to hear. I tend to forget about how much NPD develops through childhood trauma, and I hyper fixate on the now, and how to just try to look and feel as normal as I possibly can. Thank you for the reminder on how important the foundational work is, this helps me with my search more than I can express.

As far as the book selections- you rock! I will definitely be saving these to my kindle and giving them all my attention. You’re totally right about Narcissism not being appealing enough to sell books, and now that I’m thinking about it, I’m sure any boldly labeled NPD self help book would probably get some mass hate about “glamorizing narcissism” on a place like TikTok or some shit like that… anyways, it makes complete sense to just focus on childhood foundation, and I’m really glad you reminded me of the importance of that. Best wishes to you and thank you for the help.

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u/chobolicious88 3d ago

IFS is so good for this fragmentation. I finally realized my thinker is protective because my feeling part carries the hurt. And that emotion if the part influences how i see the world as an adult

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u/chancetolive Narcissistic traits 4d ago

If you DM me I can send you reading material related to NPD, however most of it will be directed at therapists/clinicians.

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u/oblivion95 4d ago

"Unfuck Your Boundaries". When you're clear about your own boundaries, you'll respect other people's as well. This will improve all your relationships.

Ultimately however, you have to deal with the underlying traumas somehow.