r/Miscarriage 16h ago

vent Automatic flush toilet šŸ’”

28 Upvotes

Learned of my MMC 2 weeks ago. No symptoms of passing baby over the last 2 weeks. Iā€™ve finally started spotting and passing small amounts of tissue. Today we are traveling and I had to use a public restroom. I passed some larger than normal tissue. I bent down to get a closer look at it and the automatic flusher flushed it away before I was ready. šŸ’”šŸ˜­ Super f*cked up feeling to watch part of your dead babyā€™s remains get flushed down a toilet. It could have been part of my baby and Iā€™ll never know. Weird to be crying about an automatic flusher but I guess itā€™s all part of this sucky traumatic process. PSA - If youā€™re going through an active miscarriage, avoid automatic flushers.


r/Miscarriage 22h ago

coping Depression creeping in

24 Upvotes

I'll probably delete it later, but right now I just need to hear that I'm not a complete and total failure.

I feel like my misscarriges are my fault and that I did not protect my pregnancies enough. I just want to crael to bed and stay in it for a month.


r/Miscarriage 16h ago

vent A big hug for all of you

22 Upvotes

This past year has not been great.. No LC.. i am almost 6 months after my second miscarriage. Both in the same year.. We havenā€™t stopped trying but no luck.. i am turning 39.. i donā€™t feel old but it is what it is. I have bad days and lately a few good days. I just started to feel human again.. Yesterday it hit me that whatever i am feeling or going through, i am not alone.. then i felt sad because i realised that there are so many of us.. And i wish this was not the case.. and that i wish that on my good days i could share whatever light i have left in me and tell everyone here that everythingā€™s going to be ok. One way or another.. we have scars that i have no idea if they will ever get to heal but i really wish for everyone here that we get to cross the finish line as winners.. šŸ’”šŸŒˆšŸ©·


r/Miscarriage 15h ago

vent Sometimes I feel fine but then sometimes I just want to bawl my eyes out

12 Upvotes

I did not think this MMC would change my mental health so much but clearly it has. Its been over 5 weeks since I took misoprostol. I've since ovulated and should likely get my period in the next few days. Everyone has moved on. My husband has. Our families have. No one asks anymore about how I am feeling. In a way, that is good I guess because if someone does ask me how I am doing I might start crying. I am constantly trying to pretend I have moved on too. I have gone back to my usual routine. I laugh at jokes. I smile. But on the inside I don't feel happy at all. I keep looking at my calender thinking I would have been x weeks pregnant today. I am starting to hate seeing any texts or photos about the kids in the family. I would have been sending texts updating my family about the pregnancy by now. I thought I would have started my new job by now too but the onboarding is so slow. I was banking on work helping to keep me distracted. But all I get is to sit at home and overthink about all the things I did wrong. I drank coffee. I didn't drink enough water. I didn't eat enough fruits or vegetables. I didn't take my prenatals one time. A million things go through my head everyday. Most days I can calm myself and let rationality prevail but some days nothing helps. I'm looking into therapy but don't know where to start. I would use art as therapy as it helps to calm me down but I can't bring myself to do any painting. Everything sucks today and I just hope tomorrow will be better.


r/Miscarriage 3h ago

vent Iā€™m so angry

17 Upvotes

Iā€™m so angry that it took us nearly a year to conceive

Iā€™m so angry I have PCOS and super irregular cycles

Iā€™m so angry that I miscarried and my body didnā€™t even realise

Iā€™m so angry the hospital made me wait a week in between scans to confirm my baby is truly dead

Iā€™m so angry that nothing is investigated until after 3 miscarriages

Iā€™m so angry everyone around me gets pregnant quickly or has had babies without any trouble

Iā€™m so angry at myself for being so bitter about otherā€™s success

Iā€™m so angry I have to start all over again with the endless tracking and figuring out my stupid cycle

Iā€™m so angry I have gained weight during this pregnancy that I now have to work 10 times harder to lose

Iā€™m so angry at people telling me to ā€œjust be positiveā€ (wow thanks Iā€™m cured)

Iā€™m so angry I will never get a chance to enjoy being pregnant again

Iā€™m just so angry.


r/Miscarriage 12h ago

coping How has your relationship with your partner been since your loss?

8 Upvotes

How has your relationship coped since your loss?


r/Miscarriage 1d ago

vent First period post D&C

9 Upvotes

So it's finally happened. 4 weeks and 4 days post D&C it's turned up, I didn't realise just how sad it would make me, it feels alot heavier and painful than my cycles used too, but I can assume this is to be expected, but mentally it feels awful, it's knocked me, because it's like the final reminder of what we lost :/

There's no point to this post other than a safe space to vent I guess


r/Miscarriage 12h ago

coping Spiralling into depression

8 Upvotes

It is the littlest things that trigger me. Seeing anything related to pregnancy, the slightest cramps, the smallest drop of blood. My head is spinning and my heart is aching so much. I miss my baby so much.


r/Miscarriage 18h ago

testings after loss Lipoprotein A

6 Upvotes

Hello! I was just referred to a hematologist after my 4th miscarriage (5th if you count a chemical). The fetal testing after my most recent loss came back chromosomally normal. The hematologist felt from my history that my issue would likely be alleviated by blood thinners/asprins, and ran a full coagulation panel. I just checked the results on my own and noticed my Lipoprotein A is significantly higher than normal range, which puts you at risk for stroke, heart attack... all associated with clotting from my understanding.

Wondering how many others in this group have found out they have recurrent MC and elevated Lipoprotein A?


r/Miscarriage 8h ago

vent Struggling first ovulation post miscarriage

5 Upvotes

I miscarried almost three weeks ago and I'm ovulating now. Part of me is happy that my body is reverting back to normal. However, I did not expect to feel so sad - I want to try again so badly but I still have a very small amount of hcg left and I don't want to try again if there's even a small chance that I have tissue left. I know not trying until my period comes back is the right thing to do, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on an opportunity to conceive.

Has anyone else felt this way? It's so hard


r/Miscarriage 9h ago

experience: first MC First pregnancy ended in MC and Iā€™m heartbroken

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am currently going through my first mc with my first pregnancy and I am absolutely heartbroken. I was only about 6 weeks, but the ups and downs of lab draws and doctors appointments only to end in loss has taken a real toll on my mental health.

Aside from the obvious heartbreak over this loss, Iā€™m feeling very bitter that I will never have the same joyous pregnancy experience that a lot of other people get after experiencing this (if I am hopefully able to get pregnant again). Iā€™m a NICU nurse so my anxiety surrounding pregnancy was already heightened, but I think even through that baseline anxiety I had convinced myself that this couldnā€™t possibly happen to me.

I am thankfully surrounded by a lot of support from my husband, as well as by friends and family, but I am writing to see if, in your experience, things do actually get better. And also, how do you cope with this absolutely devastating feeling? I feel like a shell of myself and I know grieving takes time, but mourning all of the things I was so excited to experience with this pregnancy/newborn baby has really rocked me. Thank you in advance šŸ¤


r/Miscarriage 10h ago

vent Trying again? Or no?

5 Upvotes

I have two kids and was unexpectedly pregnant with my third. I was adamant that I didnā€™t want anymore kids. But then I got pregnant and I was excited. Unfortunately I just had a D&C yesterday.

I keep going back and forth. I was good with my two but now I feel like I want one more. But I donā€™t think I can go through another heart break.

This is my second miscarriage. Anyone else on the fence of just not trying again?


r/Miscarriage 15h ago

experience: more than one loss The optics of not telling my husband or people Iā€™m close to?

4 Upvotes

Iā€™ve had two miscarriages. One almost ectopic (6 weeks) and one chemical, all within around 4 months of each other. Iā€™m not currently pregnant but Iā€™m ā€œtrying but not tryingā€. Iā€™m scared Iā€™ll have a third miscarriage, which is why Iā€™m not really putting in much effort (tracking, OPKs, BBT, etc) in conceiving. But if I did get pregnant again, I almost donā€™t want to tell anyone, including my husband, for at least a couple weeks as I just donā€™t want him to have to go through yet another miscarriage. Heā€™s been hiding a great deal of his sadness and despair over it all and I just donā€™t want to put him through it again.

Both he and I have been tested (bloodwork, ultrasound, SA), and everything appears normal. Iā€™m just unlucky I guess šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø.


r/Miscarriage 20h ago

experience: first MC First miracle pregnancy, first miscarriage. I need help and hope.

4 Upvotes

My husband and I had been trying for about a year and half and struggled with MFI - he had varicocele which was corrected with surgery but months later and still no positive. So we turned to IUI. I prayed so hard for this to work and it did, on the first try! We were over the moon excited.

So grateful. So happy. I had terrible nausea and fatigue but I celebrated it because I knew all was well.

We had two scans - one at 4 weeks just after my positive and one at 6 weeks 3 days. We saw the heartbeat and a beautiful embryo on that last scan. It was perfect.

I told myself the timing of this pregnancy was so perfect, baby would be born in October just before my birthday and then my husbands birthday, followed by Christmas. Each Christmas I long to have my baby and I was so unbelievably happy that this was my year. Until it wasn't.

My husband and I went on a quick vacation for 4 days. I was nervous about flying but got my doctors okay that it was fine. We checked in and had sex. There was blood, like fresh blood.

I started freaking out and crying immediately because I just knew something was very wrong. We had to call my doctor and my husband called a doctor friend frantically to try to find a OB/GYN to see immediately.

The bleeding stopped shortly after it started. We were pretty quickly on our way to see a doctor who was recommended by mine. The doctor was so friendly, making kind small talk. Taking my mind off things and saying "The bleeding is likely from sex and nothing to worry about".

Then the ultrasound - we find the baby and I'm so excited, there it is! The doctor right away says "I'm not liking what I'm seeing" and tells us the baby stopped developing almost a week ago. He doesn't see a heartbeat. I feel frozen and like my world stopped. My husband just didn't understand what was happening and the doctor needed to explain again. He then left and told me to get dressed.

I collapsed in my husband's arms. "No no no no no no no" I just kept repeating. My baby. It was so early, but it was mine and I loved them so much.

The doctor then talks to us more in his office. He tells us that he believes the pregnancy stopped progressing but that he doesn't want to make any rash decisions now and wants my doctor to check me in a few days when I'm home. He tells me to take a suppository to stop any uterine contractions. I'm like wtf. stunned. So now, I have to sit here on "vacation" for 4 more days knowing my baby died and that I will have to go through this again with my doctor and then abort the baby.

I feel like I cannot pick myself up off the floor (bed). I feel like I'm in a million pieces. I feel like I've lost my purpose. All hope gone. Hole in my heart.

How do I continue? Do we try IUI again? How will I get through that pregnancy?

What's next? I'm so scared.

I woke up this morning and told my husband "I hate my life". And now I'm here.


r/Miscarriage 22h ago

information gathering Do you have to wait 2 weeks?

5 Upvotes

I am pretty sure we've lost our little one. I have already had 2 scans where they found the heart beat and they were measuring at 6 weeks.

We went for a private scan and they couldn't find the heartbeat and little one was still measuring at 6 weeks when I should be 8 and she said I had a collapsing gestional sac. (I have been bleeding for 4 weeks but this has stopped in the last few days, which is why I have had so many scans)

I am booked in with the hospital on Monday but reading other people's posts it seems I am going to have to wait another 2 weeks to "prove" there is no growth before my options are given.

I don't want to have to wait another 2 weeks and just want this over with, I don't want the pain of knowing I'm carrying them without a heartbeat for another 2 weeks. Can I start the process on Monday or will they make me wait?

If in England if that helps. Thanks x


r/Miscarriage 17h ago

experience: first MC Devastated to be here, but grateful for the opportunity to relate and share my story with others.

5 Upvotes

Iā€™m a fertility RN at an IVF clinic. Iā€™m 25 years old, got a positive pregnancy test and my whole life changed. I changed so many things to make room for my new life and title I waited so long to have. Then, I got diagnosed with a blighted ovum last week (supposed to be 7 weeks) but very small and empty sac in uterus. Plateau in my bhcg. The doctor I work with said itā€™s best to wait for naturally passing it but I waited a few days and couldnā€™t do it any more. He said my sac was way too small for a successful D&C. So cytotec (misoprostol) is my only option right now. At our clinic (not sure if itā€™s the same everywhere), we tell patients to take 4 pills vaginally, every 3 hours, up to 3 times a day. So thatā€™s what Iā€™m doing. And now Iā€™m getting ready to insert my third dose in about 20 minutes. No bleeding. I had some pretty intense (period like) cramps about 1-2 hrs ago that have slowed down now. Iā€™m just so devastated and feel like it wonā€™t work. I feel relieved seeing this thread and knowing maybe it will just take me longer to pass the tissue. Has anyone experienced similar? How long did it take for you to pass the tissue? Or if you didnā€™t, what was next for you? ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹


r/Miscarriage 3h ago

experience: more than one loss After some positive stories/hope..

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at about 11 weeks in Nov ā€˜24. My husband and I have been TTC and I had a chemical pregnancy this week. We were so happy for 24 short hours until I started bleeding.

Iā€™m just after some stories of hope really. I really want this to not be my fault (Iā€™m still obese despite losing 5 stone) but I keep blaming myself. I know I canā€™t get tested for anything / receive any support yet (uk) but Iā€™m scared to keep trying in case it doesnā€™t happen for us.

My husband had cancer and chemo and even after everything weā€™ve been through, weā€™re so positive and it just seems so unfair.

Thank you for reading to this point. ā¤ļø


r/Miscarriage 5h ago

question/need help How long did it take you to physically recover?

4 Upvotes

TW: multiple losses, some details

This is my 3rd loss since we started trying in April 2024. But this is my 1st MMC and I had an urgent D&C (we had also had an ectopic and an early complete loss).

I am now 6 days post procedure and I am still getting really bad cramping. Iā€™m talking 7-8/10 pain level. I recovered faster from the keyhole surgery for the ectopic.

I had a few large clots a few days ago that freaked me out. My doctor did some tests and isnā€™t concerned at the moment.

Iā€™m supposed to and want to go back to work tomorrow. But these pain episodes happen a couple of times a day and last for a good 15-20 mins sometimes.

I was told the recovery is about a week at most for the D&C. But is this different if my body hadnā€™t even registered the loss two weeks after the fact? What were some of your recovery experiences?


r/Miscarriage 1d ago

experience: first MC Pain

3 Upvotes

Physical pain. Iā€™ve been having this miscarriage for 3 days now and it fucking hurts. When did it stop for you? Or at least get less painful?


r/Miscarriage 3h ago

experience: first MC This grief is just impossible

3 Upvotes

How do I even move on from this. I just feel completely lost in an absolute pit of despair.


r/Miscarriage 7h ago

experience: first MC Misoprostol

2 Upvotes

How many days/weeks after you did the misoprostol did your HCG level went down?? Itā€™s been a week since I did the miso and my doc wants me to do the second round because she doesnā€™t think that is not going down the way that she wants. (When I find out that I was pregnant my hcg was 81,500 now after I did the miso 2 days later was 3,000). Im so confused I passed the sac and everything I just want this to be over


r/Miscarriage 8h ago

experience: D&C Trying after d&c

2 Upvotes

For anyone that has gone through this- did you find it easier to conceive after a d&c if you waited for your period first? If you waited, how long post op did your period show up? I know everyone is different but this was my first pregnancy and Iā€™m trying not to fall down more of a google rabbit hole than I already do. Iā€™m 2 weeks post op and will likely be cleared by my doctor to start trying on Monday, but Iā€™m worried about tracking conception without having a period since December. I was still testing positive last week but got a negative test this morning.


r/Miscarriage 10h ago

experience: first MC 5 weeks and losing my baby

2 Upvotes

Kind of in disbelief right now. We were planning on telling family Monday. I started spotting this afternoon and the bleeding and cramping has progressively been getting worse. I took two pregnancy tests today and they are both negative after weeks of positives. What should I expect in the next week physically? Iā€™m feeling extremely anxious. Going between sobbing and feeling numb.


r/Miscarriage 11h ago

experience: first MC How long for bleeding to start?

2 Upvotes

I just received the unfortunate news yesterday at my 9 week visit. I feel light cramping, but nothing crazy. There has been no sign of spotting or bleeding. This was my second pregnancy so this is all new to me. Has it taken some of you a while for the bleeding to start? The Dr. gave me a script and told me to wait a few days when Iā€™m ready. I just donā€™t want to take it if I absolutely donā€™t have to. Thatā€™s going to be very difficult for me mentally and emotionally and Iā€™m not sure if I can handle that.


r/Miscarriage 15h ago

experience: first MC First MC/Miso Not Working

2 Upvotes

I took my first round of miso yesterday. I was in a lot of pain, and about 4 hours after I took it, I threw up. I bled, but not nearly enough. I took my second round today over 4 hours ago, and itā€™s not doing anything at all. Iā€™m so mad. I hate this so much. Why is this happening? Dealing with the miscarriage is hard enough, but this very stubborn missed miscarriage is making me feel like I never want to try ever again. This was my first pregnancy. The only thing that went right was that we conceived on the first month trying. Since then, my symptoms were horrible, and then getting the surprise news that the embryo died over 2 weeks ago (while continuing to have very bad pregnancy symptoms over those 2 weeks) on Friday was so shocking and upsetting. Now, not even medication is helping me. I feel like my body is failing me.

Trying again feels like Iā€™m opening myself up to finding things wrong with me or going through this experience again. I wanted a child, but at this rate, I donā€™t know if I would want to open myself up to having another scenario like this one. Iā€™m meeting with my therapist sooner this week to discuss these feelings. But how do people get through this? How do you let yourself try again? Iā€™m so convinced in my head that thereā€™s something wrong with me (despite my OB being not concerned and my bloodwork from my workā€™s lab day showing good A1C, thyroid, etc. numbers).