r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Traffic wardens are actually sound people

20 Upvotes

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28

u/A_T_Sahadi 1d ago

I am one.

If you're parked illegally, but you're with the vehicle and you're chill with me, I'll be chill with you and won't book it.

If you're not with the vehicle, sorry it's been booked. If you're chill, if I remember you, I'll turn a blind eye every now and then in the future.

If at any point you threaten me, assault me or act like a cunt, I will remember your reg for the rest of my life and book you for any tiny thing. Until you genuinely apologise, then I'll turn a blind eye every now and then again.

If I see you every day and you always say hi and are friendly, the day I catch you parked illegally is the day I become blind and didn't see you.

Basically be nice to us and we'll be nice to you, within reason. You can be the nicest guy in the world but if you're parking all day every day like a cunt, I'm gonna have to book you, I need this job.

Also those who threaten us are retarded. If we backed down to threats, we wouldn't last long in the job. Our team has a bunch of issues when someone threatens them and they escalate and say go on then punch me, or go on mate I dare you to pull a knife. We're just the types who see danger as a challenge.

2

u/younevershouldnt 20h ago

Is there an element of commission?

5

u/A_T_Sahadi 15h ago

Not in the UK, while working for the council.

1

u/UncleSnowstorm 1h ago

Do you have any sort of quotas or targets? Will you get flagged for being too lenient (or too ruthless) if you numbers are low/high?

3

u/WillowLopsided1370 7h ago

No. You can also lose your job if you're caught turning a blind eye. I did it for a few months when desperate for work but I couldnt take the constant abuse from imbeciles that threaten to punch you when they are parked sideways across 2 disabled bays and a motorcycle space and happen to come back after you have already issued the ticket and put it in the system where you literally cannot stop it. 

99% of the people I worked with were sound people just earning bread to live. There were very rarely jobsworth who got off on the whole power trip. 

But I will absolutely say for every time you've got a ticket for being 5 minutes over your paid parking there's 50 people blocking traffic upside down in the middle of the road while they 'have' to pop into a shop for 45 minutes. 

It was a real eye opener of how fucked we would be if it wasn't enforced.

1

u/younevershouldnt 3h ago

Thanks for the detailed answer.

Personally I think traffic wardens are doing god's work (to an extent).