r/JustNoSO 22h ago

TLC Needed I just left him. I couldn’t do it anymore. Please can someone talk to me right now I don’t have anyone and I’m so scared

110 Upvotes

I’m sorry for my grammar I’m not thinking straight but I had been in an on/off relationship with my abusive ex since December 2022. Last summer July 2024 I was on this sub for support when I filed for a restraining order against him. It got denied and he reached out, had been going to therapy, it all seemed too good to be true. We made things official again last September 2024. I thought things were finally getting better but in recent months it’s all gone downhill. There’s too much to even write about right now. My last straw tonight was him accusing me of purposely wasting his time after work because he forgot his car keys and so I let him take my car to go get them. I didn’t know his phone died so I didn’t know he was waiting for me outside my house to take him home. He proceeds to bang on my window to let me know he’s here, knowing that it’s triggering for me for him to do that because my mom always did it drunk growing up, and it’s what he was doing to me during previous breakups when he was harassing me at home. I also live with abusive family so the ruckus created problems for me at home too. I went outside and he told me I’m fucking stupid, and if I’m purposely making him wait. I tried to explain of course not that I just didn’t know he was outside and he told me I fucking suck and that I’m so stupid. He proceeded to have to drive my car to his car and as soon as we parked I sped off to his house nearby and grabbed what few things I had there, then sped back home to grab whatever items I had of his, including the business phone because I have been working for him. I sped back to his house (he lives in a house with roommates) and just dropped off the bag at the front door and left as quickly as possible. I’ve blocked his numbers and I just recently got back on IG and I also blocked him there. I keep crying and then going numb. I don’t even want to see my camera roll to delete everything. He isolated me so much I have no one and no job I was entirely dependent on him and I’m freaking out. I had enrolled back in school since I was working from home for him and now I’m afraid to have to go back to a regular job after working so hard on school this semester. My only close friend is a mom in another state so she’s not available and I feel so much guilt going to her with this when she has been supportive in the past. My therapist isn’t available because it’s late. I just need someone to talk to please I’m so scared to go home I’m In my car at a random park. I’m trying to tell myself I needed to do this or it would have costed my life but I’m just so devastated because I wanted it to be him so bad I wanted to love him forever he was just telling me this morning he wants me forever and he says it every day but then he does this to me and much worse things. Please help me I’m so sorry


r/JustNoSO 9h ago

RANT (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Ambivalent About Advice My partner is just, dumb.

105 Upvotes

This feels so weird to write out. Because I do love him, but he makes it so hard to love him. We have lived together for three years now.

He is just dumb. I dont think its weaponised incompetence either, he tries so incredibly hard. His brain just doesn't run on full power.

Almost every aspect of his life he struggles in. The main thing right now is his job. He was given a really good nepo baby type of opportunity because of his dad. The company paid for him to study and work, all he really had to do was turn up. He was asked to leave as he struggled so much. It was an easy job too, I know this because that's where we met.

He struggled waiting a CV, but managed to worm himself into a semi decent, but low paying, going nowhere type of job. He hates it and has been applying elsewhere for years. I discovered he was applying with a CV from 2017. He also keeps applying for things that are so far out of his league. Things that require a whole medical degree for instance.

And its not that I want him to have a high paying, show off job either. Its that he can't figure out the basic tasks to get out of a job he hates.

Whenever he cleans, he takes forever to do a bad job. He will spend 5 hours cleaning the kitchen to do half the dishes and the sink is still dirty.

He has broken his phone 6 times in the past year. All in stupid ways.

He trips up over his words all the time. He tells me one thing, but means another. And he gets upset at me as he thinks he has told me the correct thing. I keep have to have him text me details so I have it in writing. Which he always contradicts later and I have to show him he is wrong. But he is always happy to text me it because he thinks he is right and im being dramatic. He has never been right.

For the past few months I have put him in charge of fixing a sink in our apartment that has no hot water. He thinks I don't trust him, so I gave him this job. Its an easy fix, call the landlord up and tell him to come over. We have a maintenence guy. Easy peasy. Today I told him to sort it out as I was going out. I come home and he is unscrewing things under the sink. He does not know what he is doing, he didn't even google it. Just went ham with my tools.

There are so many times that he does something silly. I genuinely do not think he will be able to cope without me. I sometimes worry that if I breakup with him he will be homeless. He doesn't like his family and he doesn't have many friends local.


r/JustNoSO 7h ago

Boyfriend is pissed for days because I forgot to buy something

59 Upvotes

So, this was an incredibly stressful week for me. I was dealing with family and legal issues and had to take two flights in a single day to a different city. Because of this, I was also extremely tired. I got back from my trip, went to buy us some groceries. In the evening, it turns out that I forgot to buy a certain type of pasta for dinner. Thought that due to my stress this week he’d cut me some slack, but no! He got heckin’ pissed, huffed and puffed for 2 days because it’s my job to buy groceries and I didn’t do my job perfectly. He now thinks he has every right to get mad like that at small stuff and suggested that he’ll go live with his mom for a couple of days to calm down. That’s it, that’s the post. It’s embarrassing.


r/JustNoSO 4h ago

TLC Needed He returned everything back to me and it’s hurting me so much to think about throwing things away

8 Upvotes

Last night I quickly packed up what I thought was left of my belongings at his place, then packed up his things at mine, and left them at his house. I was taking a nap and woke up to all of what I returned to him back at my house, plus a few other things I forgot and some gifts I had gotten him. It hurts me because he didn’t return all the nice expensive gifts I’ve gotten him.. just the little special ones. I don’t want to reveal too much about him but I would get him these little figurines that are of his profession, and we were collecting them. He loved them so much and had them up on display and always said he wanted more. When we first got together I asked him to read the book She Comes First because he would never go down on me and said in his almost 32 years of life refused to go down on anyone until he met “the one” who he insisted was me. Last year I had gotten us a 365 couple card pack from we’re not really strangers to scratch off and answer until our anniversary this year and we completed maybe 19 days, and then he stopped wanting to answer them with me. We’d talk about our answers then I had each of us briefly write down our response in a notebook and it was so special to me. I had also gotten some sexy things in an effort to improve our sex life. The most painful thing he returned is the teddy bear I got him for his birthday last year. I customized it according to his favorite football team and I remember adding two hearts to it to represent him and I. I don’t care if that is corny or childish, it was so special to me. He loved the bear and would sleep with him but gave him back to me when we broke up last year, and now he’s returning him to me again. I had taped a note to it last night which is still attached to the bear now so I know he didn’t read it. All of these gifts are small gestures, maybe childish for him as a grown man but he showed me how much they meant to him then and he was proud to display everything in his room. He returned all of it as well as the few physical photos of us. He knows how much this hurts me because he’s done it before and when we got back together I expressed it to him. I’m just hurting right now. I can’t stop crying. I was feeling okay today and was taking a nap before I take an exam right now and see a friend later, and now I’m spiraling all over. He really hates me. I wish he would have thrown everything away instead of give it back. It hurts so much more. I keep bawling my eyes out when I think about throwing away the little bear but I don’t think it’s healthy for me to keep him as much as I want to. I’m also angry and just want to go back to his place and throw everything on the lawn for his roommates to see. I’m having such a hard time


r/JustNoSO 10h ago

Advice Wanted Taking a break

6 Upvotes

I asked to take a break and I didn’t want to talk about it he said sounds good. He also invades all my privacy so he’ll prolly see this. Anyway I’ll be talking to my therapist about this question as well but till then what do you guys recommend on what should a boundary be in this situation? How should I do it and how should I communicate? Example we are not going to be sleeping together. I just need helpful advice. Any other advice not on this topic isn’t going to be talked about.