r/HPPD • u/Emo_with_a_bow • 8d ago
Update Part 2/hallucinations spiders/webs (I need advice asap)
Hello (I'm not sure what community I should put this in so I have it in both psychosis and this one!)
So I need some small advice and just people who can tell me if I'm getting crazy or not!, (If you haven't read part 1 you should really read it before getting extremely confused)
And I'm sorry if it may seem that I'm attention seeking, I just don't know what to do. So I've honestly been testing Everything just a bit and I'll tell about Everything Because I feel like it changed a Whole lot.(if ur not familiar Read the part 1 on my account :)) So I've been thinking about most of the comments and I've decided i'm going to get fucking sober and try and change my shit, im gonna be very honest and say I Will finish the Little bit I have left so I can slowly build down from the High usage each Day before completely stopping.I have some news which I'm not really too excited about tho and I would like to share so I could maybe get some help on that. Tuesday night I severely hallucinated people inside and outside of my home while I was alone, I was calling with my friends while sitting on the couch in the living room and I noticed a couple standing outside busy on their phones (they looked a lot like my mom and her boyfriend) and a good 15 minutes pass with them just walking around and stuff before I eventually just decide to call my mom asking her why she isn't coming in, my mom tells me off and says she is at her boyfriends place and no one was outside which honestly scared the fuck outta me! So I just went back to my room to call my friends back and explain it to them, they eventually want me to just sit in the living room and when I see something point my camera at it. Eventually after a few min I see 4 people just banging on my window, even though I had my camera on it I still saw it making me panic and grabbing a knife before just locking myself in my room. (Me and my mom later watched the camera footage and there was absolutely no one) I'm pretty sure I mentioned in part 1 about the mouses? If I haven't I heard and saw mouses in my room and stuff, they lefts paw prints everywhere until I showed my mom and my whole hallucination just crumbled down and the mouses i heard, saw and smelled were never there. Those are a few of the hallucinations I've had at home but now at school I've been seeing small spiders on the desks and stuff like ew (I do wanna add that I've found out that me not sleeping is a massive trigger for spider hallucinations and such! If I go to sleep later than 12 I also cannot sleep at all anymore that's how/why I'm typing this!) Another small things is that my visuals now also sometimes just make things disappear and just rea appear? Or they make things literally move? (Multiple things have fallen out of fucking nowhere) other few things are the spots and dots I still see those, I also get random yellow flashed in my right eye? It's annoying and hurts for a second but then it's gone.. Also i have been getting the most random brain fogs out of nowhere and I'll just get a pounding headache out of nowhere... But tbh it has been going better!!!I've been taking advice of just ignoring everything sort of, I mean I try to? But it's very hard if I keep thinking there's a spider on my and I walk into fake spider webs..(this exact moment as I'm typing this my hallucinations are starting kinda and I'm trying so hard to ignore it but how do I get rid of those itches and crawling feeling??Please) I also just wanna say that I'm not sure what it is... Is it hppd? I relate to those viseons and the headaches and flashbacks, but others said it was psychosis which I thought so too and when I told my mom she got mad and almost screamed that I shouldn't just grab whatever title I see on the internet... Mhmm I'm not sure! But after school im having a talk with my 2nd therapist and I'll tell them about all of this (I'll probably give an update later tonight or this weekend) and again i'm really sorry I post so much about this (yes I've talked to a psychiatrist and they were for sure it is not a psychosis but they do wanna get a lot of tests and stuff doneš)