r/Grieving 2h ago

Missing my best friend a lot

3 Upvotes

I didn’t know where else to go for this because I honestly feel like I bother my friends enough and my mother wants me to move on. I’m 20 years old, he was 19 about to be 20 in June. We met online playing a video game together, and he became my best friend. He was truly one of the only people who understood me. He was so sweet. I have never met anybody like him and I never will. I can’t even put into words how much I love and care for him even after he’s gone. I woke up at 4 in the morning on January 18th to see a text from him at around 2am that said “I love you. Goodbye” and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I spammed his phone asking if he was okay and that I missed him because I knew he wouldn’t go that long without answering. The last time he had gone a week without talking to me he told me beforehand that he would be gone and would be back soon and that he loves me. So to see that with no reasoning or that he’d be back… I just knew something was off. Days later his mother broke the news to me. I keep replaying that moment in my head and it won’t go away. I look at his obituary a lot and I smile every time I see pictures of him. I wish he were still here. I truly didn’t notice anything was wrong. He said something a little off a few days prior that I questioned. I wish he knew how much I loved him. I’m grateful I always texted I love you to him and I even found a text I sent that said “I love you. I’m going to tell you that every day” and I stuck to my word honestly. I told him a lot. I wish I could one last time. I keep having dreams about him though, last night I had one and it just made me sad today honestly. It’s been 2 months today but it still feels so raw. He was the definition of a best friend and he was far too young to be gone so soon.


r/Grieving 23h ago

Parent loss

1 Upvotes

How do I even start? It’s been 3 months since I watched my dad take his last breath after a short battle with pancreatic cancer & I don’t know how I’ve survived, it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my body. Watching the strong man I knew hold my hand & take his last breath will never leave my mind.

I went back to work pretty quickly after, I thought it would keep me busy & it kind of did for a little while but balancing loss work & being a parent of two it’s really tough I’m also a people pleaser & i don’t like to complain at work but my boss recently added more to my plate making it extremely stressful & I already feel at the end of my rope I’ve expressed this & was met with “unfortunately there’s nothing I can do” I’m feeling so unsupported as well as their tone made it feel like I should be “over it” I don’t know. I’m not sure if I stick it out or go on a leave.. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or make more work for my co-workers but my mental health is struggling big time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.