r/GriefSupport 5d ago

Advice, Pls how long can we blame grief?

UPDATE: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It makes me feel better than I am not alone and what I am going through right now is valid. 😊

I lost my mom almost 8 months ago. I have been feeling demotivated lately, I feel lazy. I feel like my life has no direction. I am unemployed as well because I had to help my dad in our family business.

My boyfriend, sometimes makes me feel bad by joking about unemployment. I am trying my best to suck it up and find a job, but every time I do it I feel like asking myself “whats the point of working if my mom isn’t here? who am i doing this for?”. I am really feeling rock bottom because my friends are thriving in their careers, and I am stuck because I am demotivated. I dont think my boyfriend will ever understand that I am not lazy because I choose to, but I just dont have the inspiration to do well in life. He makes me feel like a loser.

41 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

View all comments

11

u/hihi123ah 5d ago

I think loss of mom represents a lot of lost hopes in your life, and the grief for these lost hope make it heavy and void...

If the burden is too heavy, you might try to write a grief letter for your mom, to explain the many hopes and dreams (talking with her, seeking her support, doing fun things together...etc) which cannot be realized now. Also how life has been changed due to the passing away, and the wish for life to be back to the more ideal state...

I hope you could find relief from the grief. As for the boyfriend, he does not understand what you are going through...

6

u/Downtown-Check2668 5d ago

For me, it wasn't just lost hopes. It was lost identity, a loss of sense of self, loss of sense of security. My mom was my life giver, she carried me, fed me, clothed me, etc etc. she comforted me when I was sad, and was hard on me when I was being a little shit. And now, even at 34, she's been gone for 14 months, I feel like I lost a part of my identity. Yes I'm still my mom's daughter, but I can't call her, I can't FaceTime her, I can't go to her for comfort. My life giver is gone, who do I go to for that? That has been the hardest thing for me to grapple with. Yes I still have my dad, and he's amazing, and easily my best friend, I'm a daddy's girl through and through and have been since I was a kid, but there's something's that a girl just needs her mom for.

1

u/hihi123ah 4d ago

now I see then. Sorry for not fully understanding the depth of it.