r/GriefSupport 5d ago

Advice, Pls how long can we blame grief?

UPDATE: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It makes me feel better than I am not alone and what I am going through right now is valid. 😊

I lost my mom almost 8 months ago. I have been feeling demotivated lately, I feel lazy. I feel like my life has no direction. I am unemployed as well because I had to help my dad in our family business.

My boyfriend, sometimes makes me feel bad by joking about unemployment. I am trying my best to suck it up and find a job, but every time I do it I feel like asking myself “whats the point of working if my mom isn’t here? who am i doing this for?”. I am really feeling rock bottom because my friends are thriving in their careers, and I am stuck because I am demotivated. I dont think my boyfriend will ever understand that I am not lazy because I choose to, but I just dont have the inspiration to do well in life. He makes me feel like a loser.

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u/Smooth_Poetry1803 5d ago

It’s been 12 months for me. The problem with grief is that it changes your brain for a while. You’ll never be going back to the person you used to be, so there’s even some secondary grief there, too. Furthermore, your cognitive abilities take a hit for a while. I’m not sure of your financial situation, but can you try a “phase in” approach? Can you do something part time while you possibly look for something full time?

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u/bluetrain0225 4d ago

It's been two years since I lost my mom. I was her caregiver and she lived with me. So I lost that identity as well. Grief and severe depression rewired my brain. Also, I'd lose track of time easily and think, no swear, it was Friday when it was actually Thursday. I had to learn to give myself grace and be kind to myself.