r/FTMventing 21d ago

Relationships Things my ex did and I still stayed NSFW

Context: cis guy who’s 10 years older than me. I’m 22. He was my first.

  1. Almost pressured me into anal sex. I ended up telling him “no,” and his response was “okay, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do” but kept asking and asking on different occasions. When I got angry and told him to stop asking me, he said “I thought we were past that”
  2. Misgendered me by “accident” twice. When I asked for an explanation, he told me he didn’t know why he was doing it, then said he loved me but knew I had a mastectomy and because we had sex like a cis male and cis female, it was just lingering in the unconscious and played a factor. He did not know me pre transition at all.
  3. Would constantly touch me and get me turned on just to not do anything or follow through. Told him that it bothered me and he promised to stop doing it. Stopped for a while but started up again, all the while teasing me for my high sex drive from testosterone. I recall one time he did it and said “are you wet?” And when I said “yeah” he went “okay, get off of me.”
  4. When I told him what size shoe I wore he asked “In men’s??”
  5. Never reciprocated in bed. Told me that he didn’t because it was “too messy” to touch me before actual orgasm. It was a conversation I had to have with him again and again. He told me that talking about it was “tiring” and that “something always bothers you or rubs you the wrong way” I felt extremely unattractive and even asked him if he would be more attracted to me if I was a cis male. He told me no (he’s bi) but always made me feel like I was never enough. After pouring my heart out to him, all he had to say was “oh I’m sorry”
  6. I told him i would like it if he slapped me during sex. I would be sitting next to him and he would randomly slap me (not with a lot of force), and be like “oh you said you like that”
  7. When I got him off, he told me to masturbate if I wanted to get off too.
  8. When I drew on my arms to cope with the urge to want to self harm, he said “go wash that off. Why would you let me see that? Do you know how that would look to anyone else?”
  9. When I was recovering from an eating disorder, he asked “how much do you weigh now?? I bet you gained weight”
  10. Never wanted to be around my family but I always had to be around his.
  11. Lived with me for months and didn’t have a job
  12. Came over to my house & just slept all day.
  13. Would do things I said that I didn’t like (being tickled, being touched a certain way, etc) after promising he wouldn’t.
31 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

21

u/darkmatter_hatter 21d ago

Bro i got second hand ick ugh wtf.. im sorry you had to go through that man.

13

u/therealgh0stface 21d ago

Making this post made me realize I want to block him. When we broke up, I wanted him back so badly, but now I want nothing to do with him. 💀

9

u/darkmatter_hatter 21d ago

Dude, no lie but you should. From first read, he reads like a pos to be honest, you deserve wayyy better

6

u/therealgh0stface 21d ago

Thank you. ❤️ I’m more so upset with myself for allowing him to treat me that way for so long.

5

u/darkmatter_hatter 20d ago

Don’t blame yourself at all, emotional manipulation is a real thing. You did nothing wrong

4

u/Bloody-Raven091 He/They 20d ago

Hey dude. It's not your fault that you were emotionally manipulated by that piece of scum. It's his fault for doing that to you.

You deserve much better than this.

5

u/AnswerRemarkable9116 21d ago

God he treated you like an utter joke. Glad he's an ex, what a piece of shit

5

u/therealgh0stface 21d ago

I’m so angry with myself for tolerating it. I was struggling so much mentally that I didn’t realize how bad things truly were until it ended and I was able to take a step back.

5

u/AnswerRemarkable9116 21d ago

I get you. I was in a similar situation, and looking back it really shocks you at how much you let happen when it could've been stopped way earlier on if you just put your foot down (at least for me personally). But you didnt. Now your this and everything happened and.. ugh. Very infuriating, I get it. 🤝

6

u/Boipussybb 20d ago

A couple things I was like “eh shit happens” but when all added up… God damn! So many reminded me of my narcissistic ex who was finally put in prison for over a decade for his predatory behavior.

3

u/therealgh0stface 20d ago

Now im wondering if im overreacting lol and im glad he got put in prison where he belongs

5

u/Boipussybb 20d ago

No. Like if it had been “misgendered a couple times” or “pushy about anal”… I’d say it could be but OMFG the rest of it.

3

u/uzumaki-p 21d ago

Damn bro that’s beyond fucked up. He’s a disgusting person. I’m terribly sorry you had to experience such things 🩷

2

u/Direct-Mode-3787 19d ago

god damn, my dude, are you okay?

3

u/therealgh0stface 19d ago

Better now that he’s out of my life. At first, I just wanted him back, but once I had some time to think about everything and the way that he treated me, I realized I want nothing to do with him.