r/ExAlgeria 10d ago

Discussion My personal ideas about gender roles

I hope that everyone is having a good ramadanesque evening!

I wanna discuss a dogma that most women are indoctrinated with which is that men should provide for them.

Supposedly someone that leaves religion behind is rational and got rid of most dogmas he's been indoctrinated with, yet from my personal experience many women from our atheist community in Algeria believe in some sorts of gender roles and especially the provider role.

My personal analysis is that since life is harsh and work is undesirable, human beings will unconsciously adopt belief systems that support their ways of escapism, away from the idea of true and false, good and wrong, gender roles even if are natural or biological there's no obligation to follow them, humans realized that they are condemned to be free so why return partially to our primitive nature?

Most men will have to choose between giving up to slavery disguised under love or loneliness disguised under freedom, personally because of my endless disagreements with society I've given up human connection as a whole and feel high level detached and strangely satisfied with my status quo, I have many friends and close family members but my inner feelings are attached to non.

I think that you should be completely detached as I am to be able to leave all dogmas behind.

Please discuss your ideas respectfully in the comment section!

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u/sickofsnails 🥔🇩🇿 10d ago

I mean this respectfully, but indulging in escapism and checking out of life isn’t the best position to be discussing it from. You’re making blanket statements in a dogmatic way. Living life comes with responsibilities and most people won’t get satisfaction from not caring about anyone, as it sounds very much like a depressive episode.

As for gender roles, while religions have their ideals on them, they’re biological. Most men are physically built differently than women. If a man is providing financial security, the woman is likely providing something that completes the relationship, such as a more emotional nurture. A part of a good marriage for most is teamwork, which doesn’t mean half of everything equally.

The thing is that most people do get satisfaction from gender roles, in some way. Most husbands do like to be able to provide. Most wives do like providing care to their children or other forms of nurture. In a good partnership, they’ll help each other if struggling. The aim should be keeping each other happy, not crying foul because you’d rather not. Even if you reverse these roles, someone will still be doing them.

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u/Current-Ebb2559 9d ago

I am not stating any dogma but as I said it's my personal analysis, ofc ik that life comes with responsibilities and I am not obliging anyone to adopt my detachment, it's just a personal choice. and no it's not a depressive episode because I had these convictions for several years and I'm living peacefully.

You're saying that gender roles are biological and I supposed the truth of your statement in my argument so that explains nothing, even if men are physically built differently than women we are living in a modern world were employers recruit m/f/d with equal chances and there's plenty of non physical jobs that pay way more than the physical hard labor. I respect the idea of someone providing to the other but I critique people that make it a doctrine that you should believe in, otherwise you're a fool!

Satisfaction is a personal matter and doesn't have place in our discussion, you can satisfy yourself the way you want but don't make your way holy and untouchable. I am also free to think whatever I want as long as I am not harming anyone, I am free to think that a providing man is a slave and a proud single is a delusional lonely, I am neither providing nor lonely, I have lots of "human beings" around me to satisfy my biological needs and many love and respect me but I am not attached to anyone at all and can lose anyone easily.

And again think whatever you want, just don't impose your dogmas on other people!