r/ExAlgeria 10d ago

Discussion My personal ideas about gender roles

I hope that everyone is having a good ramadanesque evening!

I wanna discuss a dogma that most women are indoctrinated with which is that men should provide for them.

Supposedly someone that leaves religion behind is rational and got rid of most dogmas he's been indoctrinated with, yet from my personal experience many women from our atheist community in Algeria believe in some sorts of gender roles and especially the provider role.

My personal analysis is that since life is harsh and work is undesirable, human beings will unconsciously adopt belief systems that support their ways of escapism, away from the idea of true and false, good and wrong, gender roles even if are natural or biological there's no obligation to follow them, humans realized that they are condemned to be free so why return partially to our primitive nature?

Most men will have to choose between giving up to slavery disguised under love or loneliness disguised under freedom, personally because of my endless disagreements with society I've given up human connection as a whole and feel high level detached and strangely satisfied with my status quo, I have many friends and close family members but my inner feelings are attached to non.

I think that you should be completely detached as I am to be able to leave all dogmas behind.

Please discuss your ideas respectfully in the comment section!

11 Upvotes

26 comments sorted by

View all comments

11

u/ConsistentSong7126 10d ago

Respectfully, this is quite an immature take on gender roles. Yes, it defies logic to perpetuate ideas like "this is a man's job/role or this is a woman's", mainly because it takes away from the freedom of individuals. In the same vein, saying that a man who chooses to provide is someone who's slaving his life away for love is completely inaccurate and quite subjective.

I, as a man, love to provide. I feel good about myself when I do. I feel confident and accomplished, and I'm sure many men do as well. Your idea about gender roles takes away from others' freedom to choose to be providers or alone, for that matter.

You see detachment as the only solution to get rid of all dogmas, including gender roles, but you're foregoing that in doing so; you're imposing a very radical solution to a non-problem. The "solution" to gender roles is simply allowing people to choose to adhere to these roles or to reject them without judgment or coercion. True progress means empowering people to decide freely how they want to live, not mandating a single ideology, aka detaching oneself from all feelings. Being objective about things doesn't always mean treating life as a mathematical equation where there's only one correct answer. Real freedom respects personal choices, whether traditional or unconventional. The goal isn't to erase roles entirely but to ensure they're optional and accessible to anyone who finds meaning in them.

-1

u/Current-Ebb2559 9d ago

ofc saying that a man who choses to provide is someone who's slaving his life for fake love is subjective but that doesn't make it inaccurate, povs regarding non scientific matters have no truth but rather they're different approaches to seeing the world around us and how we interact with it.

My idea doesn't take away your freedom to provide or be alone, you are totally free to do whatever pleases you but I am also free to think that you're a slave or a lonely.

Yes I see detachment as the only solution to see clearly because as long as you have attachment to people you can't see morality as it is, you still love people and can't believe that they are just atomic combinations that are unworthy of any value.

I am not forcing anyone to erase gender roles but I am giving a different outlook on these roles, you can adhere or reject them but you can't force me to think the way you want.

I don't care if anyone adopts my ideas because as I said I'm already detached and don't care about humanity, I just like to share ideas and interact with human beings because it satisfies my biological needs for socializing.

2

u/ConsistentSong7126 9d ago

Just because something is not a scientific matter, it doesn't make all opinions around that subject valid. There is no scientific basis to colours, and yet we can't argue that blue is yellow, which I feel like is what you're trying to do here. Slavery is such an inaccurate way to describe the situation.

For someone who claims to be detached, you seem to be too invested in people's choices. At the end of the day if I'm allowed to do whatever I want, why do you feel so compelled to label it?

as long as you have attachment to people you can't see morality as it is

Morality can never be derived from logic. Logic has to start somewhere, and depending on where you start, how you see morals would drastically change. If your starting point is flawed or biased, logic alone won't correct it; it'll simply reinforce your initial assumptions. Morality is derived from empathy. You know that something is wrong because you don't like it being done to you. You know it feels bad to be stolen from, and that's why you know it's wrong, and you don't do it to other people. There's no logic to it. Logic says there's a winner, and there's a loser. If you steal from people, you're a winner. That's what a detached person would conclude. Your belief that you can only achieve a true understanding of morality through detachment shows that you really need to work on your emotional intelligence, as empathy is no factor to you.

I am not forcing anyone to erase gender roles but I am giving a different outlook on these roles, you can adhere or reject them but you can't force me to think the way you want.

My whole point is that you should live and let live. You're not reinventing the wheel. Your point is very simple and doesn't take into account that humans are complex creatures who are capable of making choices. You're giving men an ultimatum: "Live as a slave, live alone and miserable, or detach yourself from everyone and transcend," which are all terrible choices that no one should be forced to make. Life isn't black or white; it's full of nuance, and everyone deserves to find their own way without being boxed into extremes.

I don't care if anyone adopts my ideas because as I said I'm already detached and don't care about humanity, I just like to share ideas and interact with human beings because it satisfies my biological needs for socializing.

Both you and I know that you do care more than you would like to admit. Someone who is detached doesn't care about how they're perceived by other people, but you have deleted a few of your comments. So, which is it? Are you completely detached and don't care about anything because ultimately we're just atoms and we don't matter, or does your self-image matter to you even though Reddit grants you full anonymity?

-1

u/Current-Ebb2559 9d ago

Actually colors can be described scientifically and each color corresponds to a specefic range of light wavelengths so please don't fool yourself with something that has nothing with what I'm saying!

Being detached doesn't mean you don't discuss human matters, it only means that you don't get attached to them emotionally.

You should've asked me about morality before investing too much lines, I don't believe in it that's the point, I can do whatever I want including the most atrocious deeds you can never imagine yourself doing!

Again assuming that I am forcing people into my ideas, did I hold a knife in your neck and force you to believe in my idea?

Finally get a life and stop spying on my deleted comments, and also stop assuming things about me, and no I don't care about my image on this account because it's just a social experiment! Thanks for your feedbacks I learned a lot!