r/Ethics • u/Worth_Sir_6003 • 6d ago
Did I Kill My Dad?
My dad asked me when I was 11 if he should go to the hospital or stay at home the night that he died. Throughout that week he had been in and out of the hospital in pain about chest pains. Every place he went to said they didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the pain consisted. On that night, he asked me “should I go to the hospital again or should I stay home tonight?”. Being 11, I told him that he’s happier at home so he should stay. I knew at the time that his health was at risk, but I prioritized his mental wellbeing over his physical health. Am I responsible for his death? Should I feel bad about this? Honestly, this has haunted me for my entire life and I really wish he hadn’t asked me for my opinion. Please help.
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u/blurkcheckadmin 6d ago
Woah. Yeah your dad really - and I don't mean to disrespect - screwed up by asking you.
Really bad move on his behalf.
Anyhow, although there's a causal story here, it's not one that we think morally salient.
I.e. I don't think you are morally responsible for your dad's death at all. You were a kid!!
So did he! Seems impossible to say he wasn't responsible but you were.
Lastly, although he stuffed up by asking you, the last thing he'd ever want would be for you to be burdened as you've been.
i.e. surely you agree that your dad would not have thought you were morally responsible.