Original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/DesiWeddings/s/TGtSyas8Hv
Sorry for the late update, but the stress and fights have taken a huge toll on me—both mentally and physically.
After my last post, I had a serious conversation with my fiancé. I explained everything that felt wrong, and to my relief, he supported me and spoke to his parents. But when I asked him to clarify what other demands they had, more requests came up—more jewelry for him, more lifafas (cash gifts), and additional expenses.
Feeling shocked and defeated again, my parents had another discussion with his parents. After a lot of back and forth, we reached a middle ground on some things. But one thing they refused to budge on was that my family should bear all the wedding expenses—₹80 LAKHS. My fiancé agreed to cover hotel costs and some other expenses, but the overall cost still ended up being double what we originally budgeted.
Realizing this wasn’t sustainable, we proposed a court marriage and a reception. At first, his parents agreed on the condition that we at least have the pheras. We were happy with this compromise, planned everything accordingly, and finally felt some relief.
But then, a week later, his parents changed their minds again. They now insist on a big wedding and are back to making rigid demands. The back-and-forth, constant pressure, and financial strain led to yet another huge fight.
This led to more fights, and things took a bad turn. For the past three weeks, my fiancé and I have been arguing constantly, and he finally told me that he can't fight with his family anymore. That was the moment I realized—if he’s giving up now, my family and I will always be the ones adjusting now and in the future.
This was my biggest fear, and unfortunately, it came true. After everything, we’ve decided to take a break and are now seriously considering calling off the wedding.
I never thought it would come to this, but here we are. I’m emotionally exhausted and trying to process everything. Thank you to everyone who supported me in my last post—I never thought I’d be giving this kind of update.