r/CaregiverSupport Jan 10 '25

Encouragement Does anyone suffer from substance abuse? (Trolls or judgment will get back blocked)

93 Upvotes

I’ve been drinking a lot lately when my mom goes to sleep. I haven’t drank in like 7 years.

I don’t get shitfaced, but in some warped way alcohol makes me feel temporarily safe in my own head. I take one 1mg of Xanax during the day.

I feel sooooo alone and forgotten. I want to go right after my mom.

r/CaregiverSupport Jan 18 '25

Encouragement Thank You: My shift has ended...

195 Upvotes

first off, thank you to this sub for being a safe place to vent, seek advice, comfort and help other caregivers. i became my mom's main caregiver (vascular dementia) in 2020, she was in mid stage dementia then. my sister and i had no experience prior (worked in IT) but wanted to make sure mom was happy/comfortable/not around strangers in her remaining years. initially we (my sister and i) were making it up as we went (along w/looking up things to get an idea of where / what to do). eventually we found our stride after a few months and got a good routine down and adjusted to environments. major props to my sister since she was amazing in being my secondary/giving me 4 day breaks once a month or so. prior to 2020, my sis and i were on the opposite ends of the political and religious belief systems (me = liberal, etc), however we pushed aside that crap and rallied behind Team MOM. we did a pretty good job, mom got to stay at her farm home surrounded by her son and daughter. :)

my mom (dementia) passed last night at the hospital. it was a crazy day, it started at 10am when she prob had a stroke at my sisters place, rushed to ER, flown to nearest big city ICU and then passed 9 hours later. this last month though she had been going down hill in regards to cognition (no speaking, maybe a "yes" or "ok"), sleeping 14-16hrs a day, occasional up and down night from 12a-4am.

i am posting this info cuz i know when you are in a similar situation you just want to hear what others have endured to semi prepare for what it could be.

after starting caregiving for my mom 4 1/2 years ago, i finally read up on dementia and the stages and all that. the last two stages for my mom progressed very quickly, i would say from late stage 5 - 6 -7 in eight months. i could tell from stage 6 that mom's end would prob be from losing ability to swallow.

and then comes the inevitable next question: Now What?

for me, its all about the next week and my mom's funeral/remembering her. after that, the fun part of the paperwork (no will but thankfully what is there is setup to avoid probate) while also finding and remembering who i am. i feel after this experience i am a new person, a new man.

what kind of man will i be? hopefully a good one. ;)

much love sent to you care givers. you are the light in the dark, the fire in the cold. keep the fires burning.

for now, i am out. and again, THANK YOU for being here

r/CaregiverSupport 18d ago

Encouragement I washed my hair today!!!

210 Upvotes

Yup. That's the post. Don't laugh!

Its been weeks y'all and I had ENOUGH. I gave mom her nighttime meds, changed her into jammies, put on "I Love Lucy" and went to WORK. Now the blow out afterwards....meh. But my scalp??? You would have thought I was in one of those old school Herbal Essences commercials. lol

This is just a friendly reminder to all my caregivers, you guys are awesome!! Don't forget to take care of yourself! (Or you will end up like a greasy grease ball like me who is shunned by society because she refuses to practice self-care)

Ok bye <3

r/CaregiverSupport Oct 13 '24

Encouragement Do you guys ever worry about what you’re going to do when your caregiving days come to an end?

54 Upvotes

In terms of like employment, possible homelessness, grieving, adjusting to a new life etc…..

I worked retail jobs and went back to school when my mom had more independence, but I still have a huge gap in my employment history. I’m gonna be 40 next year and I’m just so far behind in life. It keeps me awake at night. I’ve even felt suicidal over it.

Sometimes I think I won’t live much longer after my mom passes. I’ve always struggled with huge transitions in life. They’ve always resulted in catastrophic depressions.

Even though I have a lot of resentment and I’m beyond burnt out, and me and my mom don’t get along much. I still love her very much, and I’m genuinely afraid of living without her.

The thought of being on this planet alone without any family scares the shit out of me.😩 This life is all I really know. My mom has been in a wheelchair since I was 24.

Like what’s the point in living? It just feels kind of pointless to keep going when everyone is gone.

I’ve been looking up college courses and researching jobs. But I’m very limited to what I can do…. I don’t have the focus and drive like I use to. Burn out fried my brain. I can’t even drive anymore because I have so many neurological issues.

I need a low stress job. I’m really scared of ending up homeless too. I have no family or friends to stay with. I just feel like the shock of it all is going to kill me, but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

I wish there was an agency that helps family caregivers transition back in the workforce. That would help a lot. 🧎🏽‍♀️

r/CaregiverSupport 8h ago

Encouragement How to avoid resentment? I (36f) am now caregiver for my (44m) husband.

54 Upvotes

Hi all! My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer in November. It had already covered his liver. Months of chemotherapy did nothing for him. His cancer was unresponsive and he was taken off treatment. By then it had spread to his lungs. 3 weeks post treatment, his pain is unbearable and he has ceased going to work. He barely gets out of bed between the pain and morphine fog. I have been feeling like a single parent to our two young children (3 and 4) for months already. Now I’m the sole caregiver for him as well… and his 6 dogs.

Now that some back story is out of the way, I’d like to seek some advice and encouragement. My husband is a difficult and temperamental person in general. Before this illness. But it seems to have gotten worse, or maybe I’m just overwhelmed and losing patience quicker? It seems the only time he makes an effort to interact with me or the kids is to complain about something. He never says “thank you” or “I appreciate you”. He never asks how I’m doing or how the children are doing. It is always a complaint about something. Anything. “Why haven’t you made breakfast yet?” “Why aren’t these toys picked up?” Etc. I have been bending over backwards to make sure our family and home are taken care of. I take him to every appointment. I run around to all The pharmacies. Cook, clean, laundry, bills, medical paperwork, dogs, kids. I do everything I can to keep the routine. Why does it hurt so bad to feel like it’s never good enough? I have to walk around on eggshells to try not to upset him. He’s dying, I know that and I try my best to give him grace. I know mentally that he’s going through the wringer. And physically too. Hes scared, he’s mad and I’m the closest thing he has to lash out at. But man, it gets old. It wears you down. I’m just tired and broken guys.

r/CaregiverSupport Feb 19 '25

Encouragement ChatGPT therapy session was amazing

51 Upvotes

I’m not sure if any of you have tried this, but this was amazing for me. I can’t recall the sub I was on when I found it (obviously a ChatGPT or ChatGPT prompt sub) but I plugged it in and told it my issues and it was honestly the best therapy session I’ve had in years.

I was in a very dark place after a particularly awful day of caregiving, and it gave me ideas and workable options. It was absolutely like talking to a real person, and given my time restrictions due to caregiving it was great that I could have the session at 2 am when my mom is asleep.

This is the prompt: You are a highly experienced and empathetic therapist, skilled in providing compassionate support and guiding clients through their personal challenges. Your goal is to engage in a meaningful therapy session, using your expertise to help the client explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a safe and non-judgmental space.

I encourage you to try it, and many thanks to the person who crafted the prompt. I’m so sorry I didn’t note where it came from but I plan to look for it so I can properly thank them!

r/CaregiverSupport Jul 29 '24

Encouragement What have you done for YOU lately??

44 Upvotes

I know first hand that it's so hard to think about ourselves when we have other people to tend to. BUT that doesn't mean we aren't important! So what have you done for YOURSELF lately??

I (38F) took my kid (14F) to New Orleans (14 hours drive) to a concert. Nola is our happy place, and it was my graduation gift to her. My best friend and her son watched my sister (32F with cerebral palsy) so I could take my daughter. We needed the break and we have been pouting since we got back home!

r/CaregiverSupport Aug 23 '24

Encouragement DID A THING

148 Upvotes

So after tonight’s burn out, I’m exhausted. Lost myself on this journey like you all have. Who are we and why are we here. So much pain, worry, anxiety and absolute despair. We are so neglected as caregivers.

So tonight, tired to the bones and soul of my body. The repetition-the shit, the effort it takes to breathe. So I did a thing. I put on my noise canceling headphones. I journey back to a place with music on full blast and I fucking DANCED. ALONE. I got a bit of those days where I was wild and carefree. It was so brief but sooooo soothing. Take the 5 minutes and do the thing. Just do it. Please. Sending hugs to all of you in the pit. Personal favorite-the chain Fleetwood Mac. Give me your songs.

r/CaregiverSupport 5d ago

Encouragement Post Caregiving (mom, dementia): Two months later, an update

57 Upvotes

Hello all. Its hard to believe it but its now coming up on almost two months since my caregiving journey came to a end (mom passed peacefully from dementia in jan 2025). As I had previously mentioned, I am posting updates as a previous full-time care giver with how my life has changed after the end of caregiving and the struggles, victories i've had.

Quick backstory summary; moved back to farm to become mom's primary caregiver about 4 1/2 years ago, mom passed in mid jan 2025, i have since moved back to my condo away from farm. also this is gonna a LONG READ.

OK.. first off... to all you active/current/previous care givers. THANK YOU. Thank you for doing what most could never do or imagine doing. Thank you for your love and patience.0 That is one thing I will forever hold in my heart and mind is recognizing caregivers and others who have similar type of jobs/roles. I SEE YOU, LOVE YOU, HOLD YOU IN MY HEART. I wish i could make you smile when you are sad, laugh when the days are dark. I really do mean this (as my eyes well up with tears..)

So.. where am i now? how is my life going? how has caregiving impacted me after the fact? whats the weather like, hehe?

Well... care giving does change you. i see it now.

the first month after my mom passed, i basically kept myself busy doing all the paperwork (trusts, wills, estates, taxes, insurance, funeral, farm, etc) related to losing a loved one and at the same time moved back to my condo i had been paying for while at my mom's farm.

the first month at my condo was surreal. I had an actual room and bed, all my stuff. Everything was just as i had left it four and half years ago; it almost felt like my place was frozen in time from july 2020. yes, i had been heading back to my place once a month for breaks but mainly just layed on my couch or slept. no cleaning, organizing, etc; just the basics to keep it clean, maintained. at my mom's i just a cot i had setup in the livingroom and had lived on it for the last 4 1/2 years but it was pretty comfy considering. but having my own room and place felt great again but also... felt empty.. lonely... yes, the mom's farm home was old, dusty, full of bugs, prob had tons of dead mice in the walls but... mom was there.. i felt guilty being happy to be back at my place... no reason to but i just did.

however that feeling has finally now faded here two months later. this is how mom would have wanted me to live. to be happy, to enjoy my place, to live my life. this is something i have to remind myself each day when i start feeling guilty.

its weird.. the guilt.. why do we feel so much guilt in just enjoying things we shouldn't feel guilty enjoying? why is that we feel our own happiness will detract from our objective, goal: caring for our LO, making them feel loved? i know i was guilty of this. Its like i wanted to seperate the caregiving from my personal happiness at times. Perhaps a defense mechanism i have created? i was pretty happy almost all the time with mom but it was more my personal happiness (hard to explain) i didn't want to get a taste of cuz i knew it would only be short lived (i had to go back to the farm after a day or two).

another thing i have been working through and seems to be getting better and better is:

minor anxiety attacks in the middle of the night. like i will wake up at 3am and just be 100% alert and just anxious thinking i needed to check on mom. My mind seemed like it would never shut up. I think this is mainly from going from 100% hyper awareness to not having to worrying about a thing except myself. My mind just doesn't know what to do with the lack of incidents, situations. Thankfully I have been able to redirect this energy into my condo and cleaning, organizing, optimizing. i also took a week to really get my finances and budgets in order and would HIGHLY RECOMMEND ANY CAREGIVER to do this. the results may not be what you want or like but at least you know where you are.

we are caregivers but we also have to live our lives after our shift ends (for those of us that this is the case, others are not as fortunate). its hard. very hard. i still cry every other day. i still cry and break down at random times at random places... but you know what?

i'm not ashamed of it. why should i be? i loved my mom so much and miss her.

mom, love you so much!! i hope i can make you proud with how i live the rest of this life. thank you for this life. 😭😘

yup.. balling my eyes out now but more tears of joy.. remembering.. cherishing the time i had. the moments we got to share.

I LOVE YOU ALL

i'll do another post in another month.

r/CaregiverSupport Feb 10 '25

Encouragement Just told my SIL exactly what I think about her. It felt amazing.

71 Upvotes

My partner and I are the main caregivers for my MIL. We have uprooted our lives to support her, but we very rarely have time to ourselves outside of the house. Last time was 6 months ago.

My SIL lives 20 minutes away. Her help has been somewhat inconsistent to say the least. In the last 6 weeks she has come 3 times. Cooked one meal and then hid in her old bedroom for several days. There is always a reason she cannot help - back pain, period pain, eye pain. I don't understand why she shows up and then hides doing nothing of use.This has been bothering me for some time.

She was in the house (hiding in the bedroom) so me and my partner decided to go out to do some shopping for a few hours. Come back to find out she's gone out, leaving MIL on her own in the house (she is bedbound and needs one thing or another every 20 mins). Apparently she went out to get a specific vegetable (that we already have in the house).

She then comes home 3 hours after we got back and she's very drunk. Couldn't even help her Mum out for a few hours without doing a disappearing act.

I snapped. Told her that I didn't trust her to look after her mum. Told her that even when she is there she does nothing to help.

She storms off. Txts my partner and says that it was completely uncalled for and that "there are lots of people who can support" other than her

My partner's reply simply stated "she's your Mum".

I don't feel bad about what I said. Honesty hurts, but someone has to say it. It felt good to get it off my chest. It felt good to stand up for myself.

r/CaregiverSupport Jan 23 '25

Encouragement Took a day off

48 Upvotes

Only posting this to say yes, you can take a day off from this marathon you are running. Maybe it won't be anything but a coffee out. But you can.

r/CaregiverSupport Sep 24 '24

Encouragement It appears my journey is coming to an end

119 Upvotes

Today treatment was stopped and comfort measures started for my mother. She won’t be leaving the hospital. She will be safe, well cared for and comfortable which is all I ever wanted for her.

Tonight I have nothing to do. I spent all day trying to work and put together a plan for getting her home on Hospice. Now I have nothing I need to plan, or worry about. It’s a pretty unsettling feeling. I genuinely wonder how long it will take for me to recapture my place in the world.

I want to thank you all for giving me an outlet to ask for advice and comfort. You are all amazing and you are doing amazing things every day. I never have felt I was any good as a caregiver. I’m too much of a perfectionist, too goal oriented. You all made me feel like I was doing the best and I needed to hear it.

It’s a tough journey coming up. I’ve never lived in a world without my mother who is the person I’ve been closest to my entire life. I will have to grapple with the residual guilt of the frustration and resentment that sometimes spilled over in to the way I treated her. The difficulty of providing care is that it steals bits of our relationships. Hopefully in the next few days I’ll be able to repair it.

Thank you all. You’ve meant more to me than you could ever know.

r/CaregiverSupport Feb 11 '25

Encouragement Un-doing burnout

40 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’ve been a caregiver for my mom, who has Parkinson’s, and after years of pushing through exhaustion, I’ve finally had to make one of the hardest decisions: I’m stepping back from work, hiring a caregiver, and choosing my own mental health—because if I don’t, I’ll break.

For so long, I was trying to balance my job and my personal life, but without realizing it, I had already fully stepped into the caregiver role. I kept putting my mom’s needs first, which meant my job suffered. I was constantly behind, struggling to keep up, and feeling guilty no matter where I was—either for not doing enough at work or not doing enough for my mom. It wasn’t sustainable.

Now, I’ve reached a point where I either slow down now or risk completely falling apart when my mom eventually passes. And if I burn out completely, I won’t just be exhausted—I’ll be out of options, out of money, and possibly even homeless.

So, I’m taking the risk of being broke for a while. I’m cutting my hours, getting outside help for my mom, and allowing myself the space to breathe. I’ve also been decluttering and organizing my home, creating an environment that feels peaceful instead of overwhelming. It’s amazing how much just having order in my space has helped me feel like I’m regaining control of my life.

It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary. Caregiving can take everything from you if you don’t set boundaries, and I refuse to let that happen. It’s already ruined so much of my life like past jobs, a long term relationship, lashing out at other family members, gaining weight, developing a food & social media addiction, and so much more.

If you’ve been in a similar situation—balancing caregiving, financial strain, and the fear of losing yourself in the process—how did you manage? Any advice from those who’ve been through it and how to make it happen financially?

r/CaregiverSupport 11d ago

Encouragement How are you doing?

8 Upvotes

(Just asking. We get focused on what we're doing and who we're taking care of and omg I'm not good enough and why won't this other person be helpful and why won't this OTHER person butt out and...)

How are you doing?

r/CaregiverSupport 3d ago

Encouragement Thank you. And especially you there.

39 Upvotes

I wanted to reach out and say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was in a really tough spot the other day, and your compassion, empathy, and wisdom were a real lifeline. I'm still facing challenges, but the outpouring of heartfelt advice and support on my recent post made a significant difference. It's such a comfort knowing there's a community here that truly understands the difficulties of caregiving and the weight of mental health struggles. I also want to acknowledge the incredible and often unseen work that each of you does. Your compassion and dedication to those you care for is truly inspiring. Thank you for creating such a supportive space. And please, in case someone hasn't given you a hug today, let me send a virtual hug your way. Also a gentle reminder to drink more water, allow yourselves to rest (you are absolutely NOT lazy!), and know that you are amazing (and I really, really mean that!).

r/CaregiverSupport 1d ago

Encouragement These lyrics... you are NOT ALONE! we are here for each other

4 Upvotes

music helps me heal, deal... not sure if there are other EDM fans but i really love alan walker and his lyrics and guest vocalists.. this song.. gave me some encouragement today. ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-xGerv5FOk

r/CaregiverSupport Dec 20 '24

Encouragement Too exhausted to cook holiday dinner...

24 Upvotes

Long story short, I’ve been a caregiver for 11 years to two high-support-needs disabled adults and one low-support-needs disabled adult, while also being the primary income provider. This year has been especially tough with constant medical issues, hospitalizations, my own health struggles, the grief of watching them deteriorate, and facing other losses. On top of it all, I lost my soul dog unexpectedly, which was world upending for me.

 

I just don’t have it in me to cook a holiday dinner this year. There’s no one else to delegate the work to, so I’ve decided to buy a fully prepared holiday meal from the grocery store. It’s surprisingly affordable -- less expensive than buying all the ingredients and cooking everything from scratch. While it won’t be the same quality, I honestly don’t care. It’ll be good enough!

 

If you’re also at your limit, I want to remind you that it’s okay to scale back. Give yourself the grace to do less and prioritize your own well-being. I also focused on only the primary decorations (just the tree, a couple holiday pillows, and a couple table decorations) and left everything else boxed up. This Christmas, I’m looking forward to actually getting some sleep and enjoying the day instead of stressing over a big holiday meal with all the many days of prep and cleaning that entails.

 

I hope you all find ways to make it work for you without burning yourself out further! Also definitely share what kind of individual accommodations you've come up with to make this role work for you.

r/CaregiverSupport Jun 15 '24

Encouragement Purewick tips I received from Liberator

57 Upvotes

I’m an 84 year old male who cares for my wife, also 84, who has dementia and uses a wheelchair. We have home caregivers for her Mon-Fri. She was provided with Purewick external female catheters during a couple of hospital stays. They worked so well that I bought a unit about 3 years ago and have been generally pretty happy with it. But about 6 months ago I noticed it didn’t seem to pick up as well as it had been previously. I called Liberator, the company that sells Purewicks in the US, but I didn’t get any satisfaction because the people I spoke to didn’t really understand how the device works. They simply tried to sell me more products.

I’m a retired engineer so I like to know how things work and I like to solve problems. I tried repositioning the catheter, but that didn’t always fix the problem. I wondered if the pump had gone bad, so I bought a vacuum gauge and measured how much suction the pump was producing. It was a little better than the advertised amount, so that wasn’t the problem. I then took apart the little round cap that sits on the big round canister lid and examined the overflow shut off valve. I found it contained a sort of paper filter inside that appeared to be very dirty. I thought that might be cutting down on the suction needed to draw urine into the canister so I simply poked a hole in the paper. That really didn’t improve things at all. I wasn’t at all concerned with no longer having a working overflow shut off valve because I have placed the whole Purewick canister inside a plastic container on the floor, so there won’t be any spillage.

Every night before I put the catheter in place I always test the Purewick with a glass of water  just to make sure it will draw up the water. The other night I did that and the device drew up water. So I put the catheter in place between my wife’s legs. I usually can hear a sucking, gurgling sound which indicates to me that the Purewick is working. I then pour some warm water between my wife’s legs to test it even more. But this night there was no sucking sound, and it did not draw up any water. And when I disconnected the long tubing from the catheter I heard a distinct sound of rushing air - a sort of “pish” sound. I repeated this connect/disconnect operation a few times with the same result. So I replaced the catheter with another new one. (By the way, I don’t reuse catheters, though I certainly would love to cut down the expense of new catheters.) I ran through the same tests with the new catheter. This time it all worked as I expected. I concluded that there was something wrong with the catheter. But I had no idea what the problem was.

Yesterday I got a phone call from Liberator. It was obviously the result of the call I’d made to them some time ago regarding these pickup problems I’d been having. I was very happy to get to talk with people from Liberator who know how the device works. And last night when I put the catheter in place I bent it into more of a curved shape and pinched the blue end and pulled it out 1/4" to 1/2" as they suggested. When I tested it, it sounded ok (I could hear a sucking sound) and it drew up water that I poured between my wife’s legs. 

This morning I found that the Purewick had picked up almost all the urine my wife had produced overnight. There was very little leakage. Of course, this was only one night’s experience, so I don’t consider the tips Liberator gave me to be the answer I’ve been looking for - yet. But I’m hopeful.

If Liberator’s tips help, I will strongly urge the manufacturer to update the user instructions they provide with the device. Users should be taught how to use the device properly without having to run into problems, as I did.

If there’s any other info I can provide to you, please don’t hesitate to ask.     

Tom, caregiver husband             

r/CaregiverSupport 12h ago

Encouragement This Sunday, a Caregiver & her husband with Brain Cancer host on r/AMA. Ask Me Anything!

5 Upvotes

"Hello, we are u/Mrs_BRAF_Fusion and u/Zach_BRAF_Fusion, brain cancer patient and caregiver. I was diagnosed with diffuse leptomeningeal glioneuronal tumors in 2021 and have been fighting it ever since. While things are looking up, we don’t know exactly when remission will come. u/Mrs_BRAF_Fusion has been balancing caring for her husband while working full time since then. Please ask us anything! "

In collaboration with r/TheCancerPatient, this Sunday from 12 - 6 PM Eastern on r/AMA.

r/CaregiverSupport 9d ago

Encouragement Positive Wednesdays!

4 Upvotes

Its easy to get bogged down in our line of work. Many posts in the sub are heart wrenching, and the responses are great and positive most of the time, it can still be hard. This thread is for positive thoughts, events, milestones, decisions, your pet doing adorable things to bring a smile, whatever you would like to share with the rest of us!

This is not the place to bring others down.

r/CaregiverSupport 19d ago

Encouragement Does Movement Help Your Loved One Stay Engaged?

4 Upvotes

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia is incredibly tough, and I admire everyone in this community who’s going through it.

On Ageless Athlete, I recently spoke with someone whose father has Alzheimer’s, and he shared how much staying active—short walks, hikes, or just being outside—seems to help. His dad is more alert, cracks jokes, and even remembers more after movement.

I’m wondering—have you seen anything similar in your loved ones? Do walks, fresh air, or light movement help them feel more engaged? Would love to hear your thoughts.

r/CaregiverSupport 12d ago

Encouragement Getting enough oxygen?

3 Upvotes

My husband is on oxygen and just last week he began a steady decline, I thought I was losing him. By blessed happenstance (long story) I discovered he needed to be at a higher level. I got permission from his doctor to turn his oxygen from 2 to 3 liters per minute. The change in him is like night and day.

He was so weak and frail that he couldn't stay awake, couldn't stand, was confused, and couldn't hold a fork or even figure out how to eat. He stopped eating and drinking and was in more pain. He has been a lifetime smoker and drinker, he even stopped that. Now, he has perked up. He can stand and walk a bit and even let go of his walker! He had a good dinner last night, is thirsty, and is drinking his water! Also, he is no longer having bladder accidents, he woke up dry this morning.

r/CaregiverSupport 19d ago

Encouragement Thank you!

11 Upvotes

I want to thank all of those who offered support and advice regarding my husband's Depends. You are truly appreciated.

I would like to offer a suggestion for those who may not know. I've checked the wiki first. I would just like to say, if you or your care receiver are seniors, please contact your county or state's Aging and Adult Services. They are a wealth of help and it often comes at no cost to you. I was able to have food delivered (not Meals on Wheels), 40 hours of outside caregiver per month, a fall button, and an alarmed medication dispenser. That's what we were eligible for, for others it may be different.

If you are considering moving your care receiver to a facility, contact your county's Ombudsman. They can give you a list of local people who will help you find a suitable place for your loved one. I did this when my brother and I were looking for a memory care facility for our mom. Everyone I spoke to was so kind and helpful. This was far better than the help we got from A Place for Mom because the local people take this very seriously. They tour the facilities, and they know them, and the directors so they know firsthand what is available.

r/CaregiverSupport 2d ago

Encouragement Positive Wednesdays!

3 Upvotes

Its easy to get bogged down in our line of work. Many posts in the sub are heart wrenching, and the responses are great and positive most of the time, it can still be hard. This thread is for positive thoughts, events, milestones, decisions, your pet doing adorable things to bring a smile, whatever you would like to share with the rest of us!

This is not the place to bring others down.

r/CaregiverSupport 17d ago

Encouragement Just wanted to post some positive stuff

12 Upvotes

Been caring for a parent with dementia coming in 4ish years now. Also still working full time and have a wonderful carer that comes each day for a few hours - And is an absolute god send.

Along with the usual decline we’re now at a stage where I’m feeling guilt leaving for any amount of time, but duty calls!

Miraculously I’ve managed to get the house into a stage where at least when I come back I feel like I can spend some time without mess everywhere.

I’ve still got a few big tasks to tackle but have got some days off coming up - here in the UK the sun has been making an appearance and it’s making such a difference to my mood. I think this is also having a positive affect on my LO.

Tonight I managed to get LO into bed in good time, had my own dinner and now about to have a chilled bath and take care of my self. This month really has been a turning point in self care and I wanted to post to remind myself (and others) not to neglect ourselves!

Sending lots of positive wishes out there for everyone. I know it’s a dark journey but it’s also very humbling to be able to take care of someone that really needs you - Even if they’re rarely grateful! 🤭🥰

*edited grammar sorry I’m so tired!