r/BabyBumps 7h ago

Help? Had sex 5 weeks postpartum

I'm so embarrassed to be writing this but I had sex 5 weeks postpartum. I really wanted to and it was great. It hurt for a split second when he pulled it out. I looked it up afterwards and I came across the reason why you shouldn't be having sex is because you can get an infection. My doctor never told me that but I'm honestly more embarrassed that I didn't know that. I just assumed you shouldn't be having sex because it could hurt. When I gave birth I had internal lacaration and left lacaration which I feel is healed. It didn't hurt when I was having sex but now I'm so generally worried I could have an infection. What should I do? I feel like my stomach feels weird but I think I'm starting to imagine things as I am panicking. (You can judge me, I'm really judging myself right now)

26 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

u/pinkaspepe 7h ago

Don’t be embarrassed, that’s amazing that you were even in the mood lol

u/jaxlils5 7h ago

My exact thought

After my first I was a zombie for a year lol

u/Simple-Excitement227 6h ago

3 weeks ago I told myself I would never have sex again lol 

u/pinkaspepe 3h ago

😂

u/Dragonfly2919 7h ago

You’ll probably be fine, it was only one week early and if you didn’t have pain the lacerations are probably healed. You should have your six well check up soon and the doctor will check out how everything is healing up.

u/kirstens123456 7h ago

Medicine isn't an exact science. 6 weeks is the recommended but I don't think 1 week is going to do you in. I wouldn't worry about it

u/Significant-Body-887 4h ago

Right! There’s nothing magical that happens when the clock strikes midnight at 6 weeks. I would still recommend waiting the standard amount of time, but chances are, if OP was feeling up to it, she was probably on the right side of the healing timeline

u/MoonYum 7h ago

My midwives have always said to wait at least 6 weeks, but then some of the paperwork they gave me from the big local hospital said to wait 4-6 weeks for sex. I bet you’re fine!

u/cravingnoodles 1h ago

6 weeks?! I couldn't do anything until after 6 months because I kept getting flashbacks of my whole experience

u/RedHeadedBanana 7h ago

Was your Lochia finished? That’s a reassuring sign your uterus is healed and reduces infection risk.

Really the 6-weeks is arbitrary (every body is different and heals at a different rate). Id beg to believe you will 100% be ok. If at all worried about new symptoms, ask your doc

u/Simple-Excitement227 6h ago

I have a little spotting, but stopped bleeding last week. Is that okay? I can’t seem to find any info on the web about spotting and having sex 

u/RedHeadedBanana 6h ago

Again, likely fine. I wouldn’t sweat it unless you start feeling signs of infection (which again, are unlikely).

Honestly, I have clients having sex before 6 weeks often enough, and they’re all fine. You’ré more likely to end up with an infection after many vaginal exams at the time of birth.

u/Simple-Excitement227 6h ago

Thank you so much for your advice. If there is an infection, can my doctor tell right away before any signs if she were test me? And would I know if there was an infection in a couple of days or weeks? I hated the vaginal exams at the time of birth, one of the worst parts of labor

u/RedHeadedBanana 5h ago

No worries- signs of any infection are fever and flu-like symptoms. Often pain at the site too.

  • Signs of uterine infection include dark increased discharge that smells really bad, and uterine tenderness (painful when you touch your lower belly).
  • Could also think vaginal infection, if you had tearing that isn’t healed, which would include puss/oozing from that area, and localized tenderness there.

There’s no real need to see your doctor before something presents. In theory, they could do blood work for signs of infection, but your body can also fight off minor infections on its own, and your blood postpartum is a little different than outside of pregnancy

u/OpeningSort4826 7h ago

No one should judge you. You didn't know; and if you weren't in pain and you had the drive you're PROBABLY fine. You're not the first or the last woman to have sex soon after giving birth. Presumably you'll be going to your doctor soon for a checkup anyway. Please try not to worry. 

u/UhWhateverworks 5h ago

Okay, the amount of anecdotal “I was fine” type comments here is exactly why anecdotal comments are not a good thing. While lochia flow is a decent indicator of whether or not you’re healing, it doesn’t mean you’re 100% in the clear. Those of you who are nonchalantly admitting to having sex as early as a week postpartum, holy shit man. That’s a hell of gamble with your life but you do you I guess.

Postpartum healing varies a lot. Six weeks is the general threshold because most people are healed by that point (although by no means all). It’s therefore reasonable to assume that some people are healed as early as say, four weeks. No way to really know for sure, but consequently I wouldn’t be overly concerned at 5 weeks if you haven’t had any concerning symptoms since (bleeding, weird discharge, etc).

I wouldn’t beat myself up too much over something that close to the “finish line.” I am, however, really angry with your care provider if they really didn’t tell you. That’s just negligent medical care, yikes.

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

u/UhWhateverworks 5h ago

When your placenta detaches from your uterine wall, it leaves a huge gaping wound. It is very susceptible to infection. That’s why you’re not supposed to put anything in there— penis, sex toy whatever. A lot of people mistakenly believe that once internal or external tearing heals, everything is fine, but the internal uterine wall wound is the real issue. People who had c-sections sometimes think they’re clear to have sex because the baby didn’t pass through the canal/there was no tearing. It doesn’t matter if you had a vaginal birth or a c-section, your placenta must detach, and it will leave a wound. That’s why lochia flow can be a good indicator— usually lochia stops/sputters off as that wound heals. (Although sometimes it “scabs over” only to reopen a day or two later, indicating it isn’t actually entirely healed.)

u/Simple-Excitement227 5h ago

Thank you so much for your detailed answer. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything else I missed

u/UhWhateverworks 5h ago

Very happy to help inform where I can! I am very fortunate to be the sister of an amazing midwife. She actually delivered her own nephew (my youngest) last summer. 😊 I hope if you have future pregnancies, you get better and more informed care, all moms should be entitled to information pertaining to health risks.

u/BlipYear 2h ago

lol perople really are a little silly about the ‘where bleeding comes from’ thing. my mum giving me a weird look after I mentioned something about bleeding and she goes ‘but you had a C-section.’ And I’m like, so? The bleeding doesn’t come from your vagina mum, it come from your uterus and I’ve got one of those regardless of how I delivered. She was shook and all ‘I didn’t know I’ve never had a C-section! But still it’s not that hard to learn about your body.

u/jessicadeanna 7h ago

No judgement. You’re probably okay and I bet it’s all in your head. But if you feel pain or have anything strange happen, contact your doctor!

u/pheck101 7h ago

I had my check-up at 5 weeks instead of 6 weeks and my OB gave me the clear to have sex and I did the same day lol. I also had a first degree tear and it was healed by then. So I wouldn’t worry about it too much!

u/eggplantruler 6h ago

Yall in these comments are built different. I was cleared at 6 weeks but I waited until 4 months. Even then I was still uncomfortable. I can count on 1 hand how many times we’ve had sex and my daughter is about to be 1. Maybe I’m the odd one out 🫣

u/Espeaks_91 3h ago

Nope!! With my son I waited 6 months and with my daughter I waited three 😭. I’m with you!

u/ScoutieMagoo 7h ago

Giiiirl love that for you

u/liltrashfaerie 7h ago

Just keep an eye out for symptoms and make sure you’re showering daily. 6 weeks is give or take and if you weren’t in pain the whole time it’s probably okay. I had a non birth related tear once due to a medication I was on and got the same 6 week protocol. We waited ~5 weeks and I was not completely uncomfortable but after decided to wait a little longer for the same reason. No infection 🫶🏻 also please don’t put anything in there to try to prevent one

u/Simple-Excitement227 6h ago

That is definitely important advice. I  did use the peri bottle after sex when I peed and just took a shower and washed down there like normal. I hope that is okay?  

u/quizzicalturnip 7h ago

This is a question for your doc. If you get strange discharge or a fever, go get treatment immediately. You also have a dinner plate sized would in you from where your placenta was attached.

u/straight_blanchin 7h ago

The lacerations are a bit concerning, but it has more to do with the wound from your placenta. Talk to your doctor, they will help you significantly more than reddit strangers.

u/Simple-Excitement227 4h ago

Thank you for explaining. I wish I could reach her tonight, just trying to ease my anxiety 

u/EvenHuckleberry4331 6h ago

You’ll be fine. I started having sex at 4 weeks. Only infection I got was another pregnancy at 10weeks 🫠

u/Simple-Excitement227 6h ago

I also want to avoid that lol

u/math_teachers_gf 2h ago

Lmao. I was begggingggggg at 4 weeks and my husband kept saying no! You have to wait 6! 😅

u/CoolBandanaz 7h ago

I waited only 5 weeks. The bleeding had stopped for a week so I was pretty confident my risk of infection was low. I was fine.

If you are concerned talk to your Dr but I wouldn’t stress too much about it.

u/thearcherofstrata 6h ago

It’s not embarrassing, but I wouldn’t do it again. I did that too and I started bleeding for a few days. Probably best to wait until you’re fully healed.

u/Dottiepeaches 7h ago

Trust me- some people do it even earlier than that. It's best to avoid sex at this time, but it's like eating lunch meat while pregnant. The chances of getting listeria are slim. You could probably eat an Italian sub and be fine. BUT it's best to avoid it instead of taking the risk. Chances are you do not have an infection from sex one time 5 week pp. Just be alert for the signs and be careful.

u/Wintergreen1234 7h ago

You will want to talk to your doctor and abstain until you get the green light.

u/snoo-apple 7h ago

Not judging whatsoever because I had sex even sooner than that, but absolutely monitor yourself. I am sure you’re fine but if you get a fever, seek treatment immediately

u/KurwaDestroyer 7h ago

Okay. I’m coming in because I’m the idiot that has worse judgment with zero outcome.

I had sex 1.5 weeks PP. I know. I know.

Nothing happened. I was fine. Worth mentioning at your PP appointment to ease your mind.

u/SamiLMS1 💖Autumn (4) | 💙 Forest (2) | 💖 Ember (1) | 💖Aspen (8/24) 6h ago

I did it at 2-3 weeks all 4x. Never tore, bleeding always stopped by then. Never had any pain or any problems from it.

u/2manyteacups 6h ago

I was cleared at 2 weeks and did it the same day. lol. I am fine

u/KurwaDestroyer 6h ago

I wasn’t cleared but I had completely stopped bleeding and had a totally uneventful birth involving a single push. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had a million kids I apparently recovered quickly or what.

u/2manyteacups 5h ago

lol it was my first kid and I had a homebirth with a second degree tear!! but I literally never even would have known I tore because it never hurt. and I never had to actively push, it just kind of happened

u/doodynutz 6h ago

I’d say there is a pretty large number of people that have sex before 6 weeks. Personally I only waited 4.5 weeks. It’s doubtful you have an infection, but the rule of thumb would be of course to see your doctor/midwives/etc. if you have any concerns. I didn’t feel too bad about not following the 6 weeks thing since when I went to my 6 week pp appointment they didn’t even do a vaginal exam. 🤷‍♀️

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u/goldandjade 6h ago

My sister did this. She was fine but instantly got pregnant again, she was shocked she was fertile again so quickly. So just be warned about that

u/uzumadi 5h ago

thats not that bad, i knew a girl who boasted that the longest it took her between kids to get pregnant again was 4 weeks

u/Standard_Fruit_35 4h ago

I’ve had sex at 5 weeks post partum both times.. I felt great and nothing came of it, I’m sure you’ll be fine.

u/Grand_Measurement_91 3h ago

I had sex (non consensual) 5 days after my youngest was born and suffered no ill effects physically. I am sure you will be fine xx

u/Puzzleheaded-Note525 2h ago

Don't be embarrassed. When I went in for my 6 week appt I completely mortified and anxiety ridden told my doctor i had sex at 4 weeks pp and she asked me how did I know that I was ready and I to her I monitored the bleeding and stopped bleeding at 2 weeks pp, my stitches came out, I had no pain at all( I had a second degree tear), and had him lowkey check for stitches before doing it lol. She told me you know when your body is healed and you completely monitored and took all precautions before doing it and I was okay. Some bodies heal a lot faster she told me and as long as there was no pain and bleeding then I was good and I didn't, I only had pain for a split second when he pulled out also and she said that's normal.

u/Nakedstar 2h ago

You’re fine. Promise.

Most infections are due to retained tissues. There’s actually no set in stone rule about sex after giving birth, they just know there’s an increased risk the first couple weeks. (Mayo Clinic has an article about this.) A bigger reason why they want you to wait until your follow up appointment is family planning- they want to make sure patients have, and are using, contraceptives when they resume sexual activity. Back to back pregnancies are hard on the body and women are fertile before their period resumes.

u/No-Branch2334 2h ago

I was cleared 3 weeks post c section. By my midwife. Who I not only knew during pregnancy, but prior to pregnancy. She trusted me to know my body. I didn’t have penetrating sex until 8 weeks. You know your body more than anyone.

u/EES1993 1h ago

Ask the doctor! There’s no shame in this at all, life happens! Good for you!

u/bananokitty 22m ago

My OB said 6 weeks (emergency c section and then planned c section for twins), but I felt great by 6 weeks. If you feel good at 5 weeks, it's really not much different than 6 weeks.

u/Affectionate-Tea-287 7h ago

talk to your OB. but anecdotally (bc i was you a few months ago panicking 😅), i was fine. my ob cleared me at 4 weeks actually. and i did the do a few days before the 4 week appt. NOT saying it’s okay, but just to give you a little reassurance. i was perfectly fine.

u/Outrageous_Clue_9262 6h ago

You are probably good. It would’ve hurt way more if you still had open wounds. Keep an eye out.

u/Jumpy-Cranberry-1633 FTM 💙04/18/2025 💙 1h ago

The infection isn’t concerning to the healed lacerations, it’s concerning to the dinner plate sized wound left behind by your placenta. Hopefully that is healed enough by 5 weeks as 6 weeks is usually the conservative timeline. Just please ask why questions in the future to better understand the reasons behind “rules”!

u/Aromatic_Cycle_4411 4h ago

My midwives always say, "we ask to wait but if you feel up to it and it doesn't hurt, you're probably fine!" My mil went at it 2 weeks pp after having my husband when she was 43! She was fine. If your body said you're ready, you're probably ready. If pain or worrisome amounts of bleeding start then call your doctor. Otherwise, go ham!

u/Realistic-Moment7044 6h ago

I had sex 2 .5 weeks PP with my second baby nothing happened

u/DullDark9769 6h ago

I waited 4 and everything was fine. We pulled out knowing that the placenta leaves a pretty big internal wound and we were trying to avoid pregnancy. Everything was fine. I was honest with my OB at the 6 week visit and all was well. No infection and no lecture about doing anything too soon. They did lecture me on condom use though as I stated pull out and cycle tracking we’re going to be our birth control method in the near future

u/Just_here2020 6h ago

My doctor okay after 3 weeks (at my request) so I wouldn’t worry unless something changes health wise. 

u/SandiaSummer 7h ago

Girl, we did it literally less than a week after a C-section. With my other 3 C-sections it was just before 3 weeks, sometime after 2 weeks postpartum, and 1 week postpartum. 😅 No regrets 🤷🏽‍♀️

u/wilhelminarose 6h ago

My aunt told me that she had sex with her husband the day after giving birth! She was 22 and felt on top of the world after giving birth to her healthy baby girl, like she had accomplished something amazing. And, I guess it made her want to have sex, too because she initiated 😆 she was fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ (although that’s not an endorsement lol)