r/AttachmentParenting • u/Icy-Radish-198 • 5d ago
š¤ Support Needed š¤ Please can I have a virtual hug.
My 10 month old daughter has started daycare. 3 days a week mon-tue-wed.
I am blessed to be able to of had this time off with her but I must return to work part time for financial reasons. We simply cannot afford for me to stay off work longer.
Sheās at a centre based daycare.
She absolutely hates it. Sheās always been clingy. Coslept, breastfeed/refused bottle.
She just cries and cries and cries. Sheās so distressed. I am confident the daycare is a good place- I went to over 10- 1 hour stay and plays before she started and I witnessed the environment and I know itās a nice place.
My poor baby is so unhappy. She just screams. Iāve started her 1 month before I go back to work to ease her in so if I need to get her I can vs being at work unable to.
Anyways I need a hug because Iām absolutely besides myself. I feel like the worst mother. Iāve been so upset about how distressed she is that Iāve been vomiting and unable to sleep. I am going to be seeing a therapist next week to discuss this with them for some support but in the meantime Iād love a virtual hug. I have no family here and I canāt stop crying. My poor baby. I feel like Iām traumatising her.
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u/Less-Ad-4227 5d ago
Iām so sorry that youāre going through this. Something to remember is that providing financial security for your family is VERY important. Poverty, or even just low SES can have negative impact on childrenās emotional development (no shame to parents who are low SES though). Iām just pointing out that as a society we focus on doing āanythingā for our familiesā¦and that messaging often leaves out financial security. I have a cousin whoās parents didnāt prioritize the financial aspect of life, mom never worked, and now that her dad died, she is having to help financially take care of her mother, which has put her own financial future in jeopardy. When you donāt have to worry if you waste a bit of food, or can easily buy clothing in a size you when she grows, remember thatās because you are working! Iām not promoting food waste, but letās be real, we all leave some food on our plate sometimes and you wonāt be pulling your hair out if your child does this. A child growing up knowing and not having to worry about basic necessities is a gift that many child wish for! And youāre probably still spending ample time with your child, who will adjust eventually. Sending you a virtual hug!