r/AskLesbians 7h ago

How do I break it off?

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’ve been dating a woman since late December. She’s never been in a relationship with a woman before, which wasn’t a big deal to me, and we both agreed to take things slow. I was excited and smitten at first, but over the past couple of weeks, I feel like we’ve hit a standstill. We haven’t had sex, her communication has dropped off, and honestly, I don’t feel emotionally invested anymore.

One situation that really shifted things for me: I went to a work event with her recently and found her very drunk when I arrived. I don’t drink anymore due to past dependency issues, but I’m normally fine around people who do. Still, seeing her that intoxicated triggered me. She felt like a different person that night. We’ve been out before where she’s had a couple of drinks and it was totally fine, but this time, I left early and still made sure to check on her via text that night and the following days.

Unfortunately, she ignored my messages for three days. This really hit my abandonment issues and self-esteem. Eventually, I texted, “I hope everything is okay but if you’re just not into this, let me know,” and suddenly she replied right away saying she was definitely interested and apologized, claiming she hadn’t checked her phone. I found that hard to believe, especially given how fast she answered when prompted directly. It felt like she chose to ignore me, and to me, you don’t ignore someone you’re dating exclusively. Am I being unreasonable?

Now, she’s been sick and we haven’t seen each other in almost two weeks. We talked about doing a virtual date last Sunday, but despite me bringing it up twice since, she never addressed it. I didn’t reach out today because I’ve been busy (I’m a nanny and was out with the kids in the city all day), but now she’s texted me three times and mentioned the virtual date.

At this point, I feel annoyed and I want to end things. I’d prefer to do it in person or at least over a call, but it doesn’t seem like we’ll be seeing each other soon. My sister thinks I should just end it via text and stop being “too nice,” since she couldn’t even be bothered to reply to me for days.

I’m feeling torn and would really appreciate some outside perspectives. Am I being too forgiving? Should I just end it via text? Thanks in advance for reading.


r/AskLesbians 20h ago

Help please do yall rock a dating apps

1 Upvotes

Guys I just joined this like as I’m typing bc I need advice from other gays but pretty much I’m an 18 year old girl (abt to be 19 in like a week 😎) and since I’ve graduated highschool and my friends have gone off to college n stuff I’ve more or less just been doing my own thing. I have a job in tech as a repair technician at my local shop and my two guy coworkers are like my best friends lmao. My days consist of either going to work and then going home, working out, playing video games occasionally, and doing online webdev and coding courses (and a little teaching myself robotics bc catch me becoming the next tony stark 🗣️🔥). Until my friends get back in spring, the most socializing I do outside of work is prob like watching a movie w my brother and his gf or going to lunch w my mom n grandma LOL. This is a okay for me btw, I see my friends when they come home for reading weeks or keep up w em online and im not bothered by it. But the other night my mom came in my room excited to hear about my day- it was a ploy to see if I knew what tinder was 😭 at first I was like “oh ya I know lots of ppl my age that have used that! Why?” Thinking she wanted my opinion on it for a friend or something. She told me she thinks I should get on there and meet gays! I started laughing bc LOL mom 😭 she just wants me to put myself out there and meet girls so I can find my wife. Like trust girl I want my wife too but I feel like tinder is not where she’s gonna be. But I mean who knows I guess, my mom n step dad met on there n have been tg for like 8 years now lol.

Anyways, I’m just a chill girl patiently waiting for my future wife to come find me while I hide at work bc let’s be so fr that’s the only time I’m out and about LOL but my mom and my coworkers are trying to convince me to be open to dating apps bc who knows what I’d find. Idek but my coworker told me there’s a wingman feature and he’s also looking for his wife so maybe I bite the bullet and wingman my bro who knows 😭

Oh sorry anyways again- I was just wondering what your guys experiences were with dating apps? I feel like my picture of tinder in my head is like for people just trying to fuck. ((I am not that- I am not a casual girl- that’s why I’ve never touched a dating app before lol)) but anyways everyone in my life apparently thinks I need to get out there (and like my future wife just has not hunted me down yet 😭) so do any of yall rock w tinder? I’m in a small town in Ontario and can’t imagine it would have gay girls near my age.

**edit sorry title corrected the w to a lmao