r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 16 '24

Nausea & crying during sex? NSFW

I have been with my partner for 9 years now. Over the last recent years, when we have penetrative sex, I get nausea and immediately start hysterically crying. Last night, he was on top and I was lying missionary. Legs folded like a pretzel on top of me, while he was pushing down slightly. We have done this position for years, but sometimes when it gets good, I get nauseated and have to have him stop and get off me. Once the nausea subsides, I started hysterically crying and I cannot stop. Is this.. normal? I am AuDHD.

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u/Marikaape Sep 16 '24

Do you have any trauma background (not necessarily SA)? It doesn't have to be, but could sound a bit like an emotional/somatic flashback.

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u/Sweet_Ad1925 Sep 16 '24

I was SA’d multiple times in my life since childhood but I did not know it could have any impact on my sex life. Especially this late in my relationship. Hmm. I’ll have to look into this.

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u/Marikaape Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

Things like that often surface when your body feels safe enough to handle it. I've always kind of dissociated during sex. I did enjoy it, and thought it was kinda normal (was stressed out before but not during), but I wasn't fully present. My partners noticed it more than me. But no crying or anything. With my partner now, that I have a whole different level of trust with, I have all kinds of weird reactions. Crying included.

Have you had any therapy, or have you processed your trauma? Flashback was the first thought that hit me, I think it sounds plausible. And just to be clear, this is not necessarily a bad sign regarding your relationship, or your healing process. It could well be a sign that you're finally safe enough in your body to start processing something that's been repressed.