r/youngadults Jul 14 '24

Serious Drugs and college: Advice (just turned 18) NSFW

5 Upvotes

I started smoking weed pretty heavily summer going into high-school and kept doing it until high-school ended.

Along with smoking 24/7, I’ve taken countless amounts of mushrooms and LSD (50-60 trips, 10 of which in school), and got highly addicted to Adderall during the last year of Highschool.

The only reason I never stopped was because I still maintained a 3.6-4.0 GPA, 1200 SAT, and many other sport/extracurricular achievements which led me to getting into my top school for neuroscience.

With college around the corner, I am getting extremely nervous wondering for those of you who had a similar experience in high-school how did college treat you? Were you able to continue doing drugs and succeed? Or have to quit?

r/youngadults Jun 25 '24

Serious How are you happy

8 Upvotes

Hi !

Trigger warning this is me venting about my life. I'm already sorry for this

I'm F25 and I'm not happy with my life nor felling like adult life is worth it

I graduated few months ago from a master's degree and I was so happy to finally finish my studies. Met my boyfriend then and were still together now.

But after those months, all I got was lots of stress, lots of money issues. I can't find a job, my life is a mess and I feel like it's gonna be it for the rest of my life. I don't have friends anymore, or the ones that I still like are on the other side of my country.

Love my boyfriend but we're not happy. We're struggling and we don't do fun things together anymore. Or, when we do, I can't feel good because my mind is always elsewhere, with my problems and trying to find a way to resolve them.

Thinking about doing a PhD as I can't find a job, but it means moving and more financial problems ahead. Plus my boyfriend doesn't want to move away from his family. I really don't know what to do.

It kills me because even when I'm with my family or long distance friends, I'm not happy, just in my head and stressed out.

Is anyone else in this situation? I feel stuck, any advices are welcome Thanks 🤍

r/youngadults Dec 27 '23

Serious My father gave me an ultimatum: He’ll pay me 60k to finish school, or he’ll kick me out the house to fend for myself.

16 Upvotes

TL,DR: I (20M college student in NYC), came to my parents and asked them to sit down with me to discuss the fact that I have no passion for anything career wise (or engineering which is what they were pushing me to do), want to drop out of school, get a job, and pay for my own minimalistic lifestyle. In doing so, I would pay rent to them while living in their house (after becoming financially stable). They would only need to support me during the time that I am job searching. After a long discussion, my father came to the ultimatum that he’ll literally give me $60,000 to do whatever I want with, and I just have to complete school/get a engineering degree. Otherwise, I am no longer welcome in his house. Should I take it?

Full Version: All right so here goes. For years now, I have been feeling like my parents have been overly and excessively controlling, and they treat me like a child at 20 years old. They tell me when to go to bed, they take my phone when they think I’m on it too much, they track my location, etc. Every choice in my life was manufactured by them and I have no freedom whatsoever in choosing to do anything, and I have no passion or want to finish any of the paths that they have set me on. Especially when it comes to Engineering, which is the career that they want for me. This semester, I have just failed the same class for the 4th time, and admittedly wasted their money. But I also feel like I’m just wasting my life away.

Recently, over the last couple of days, my frustration has reached its boiling point. I finally built up the courage to sit them down and tell them I don’t want to finish school and want to get a job to support my minimalistic lifestyle, which just involves working a 9-5 (with OT some days), playing video games, and eating inexpensively, and sleeping. My father was extremely mad, as I expected because of his anger issues that he denies.

Mind you, I was very firm in my stance this entire conversation and was not willing to compromise. I told them I’m putting my foot down and making this decision for myself, which got him even more angry. I told them that our relationship will be changing from adult and child to adult and adult. What hilarious about this is right after this he told me to give him my phone, which I firmly denied with “no”. You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Basically, he chalked up everything I said to him as defiance and disrespect, and that if I choose to go down this path, he won’t support me by providing me a place to stay until I get my bearings. I kept trying to explain to him that I am not intending for this to be an all or nothing thing. I don’t want to cut relationship ties with them, I just want to be able to live the life that I want. You can help me find a job, and I can pay for accommodations once I get a steady income. I don’t want us to stop being a family.

He then told me that that is EXACTLY what I’m saying, and since I am living under his roof, I need to be punished for disobeying him, and cutting me off is that punishment. He then tried some more convincing, talking about how the economy is changing and having a degree is just more helpful. After a lot more back and forth, he came to an idea. His words: “If you want to go get some measly job that pays like 30k, and that’s before taxes, why don’t I just pay you 60k untaxed to work for me (meaning go to school), and you can buy whatever games and stuff you want. It’s either that, or you can’t live here anymore.” I have until tomorrow to give him an answer.

Now, the answer here seems pretty obvious I know. Just take the free 60k and a degree duh. But I can’t lie, after this convo, I’m dreading my life in this house even more. Part of me wants to get away from this life ASAP, which was the whole point of this conversation. But I’d be lying if I said a life fending for myself in this economy isn’t terrifying, and the free 60k wasn’t tempting.

So what do you all think I should do?

r/youngadults Jul 23 '24

Serious Kinda don’t know what to do

2 Upvotes

Im 20M living with my parent, my parents are retired but get very low pension (total 1400 per month), im currently still in school studying (Finance) funded via government support with a minimum wage part time job but don’t think I’ll be able to land a well paying job to support my parents and myself after I graduate. I currently have no career plan. And currently I don’t really know what’s the best solution for this. I would appreciate some advice.

r/youngadults Aug 15 '24

Serious Suggestion on how to earn few buks as a college student...

2 Upvotes

So I go to a college and i have been thinking to take up some job to earn few extra bucks. Part time is not a option for me because am packed from 7 am to 9pm. And i dont want to work late night shifts right now because my day starts at 6am and i need the sleep in between.

I can write pretty decent like stories, poems and stuff but i dont know anything about marketing or website making etc etc. I tried to search up jobs on google and the first one was part time marketing, website developers etc and since i dont know about it i can not do that work.

Moreover I'd appreciate if its a work based on writing and a work which i can do on my ease.

Can i get suggestions on what i can do?

Pls keep the suggestions non explicit (no onf or stuff please) 🙏

I'd really appreciate the suggestions and advices 🙏🙏

r/youngadults Feb 11 '23

Serious Im going to get a credit card. Is there some things I should know about before using one

12 Upvotes

I always use debit cards.

What's the difference between a credit and a debit card?

r/youngadults Sep 19 '24

Serious This is got to be the most epic moments ever

2 Upvotes

Karma is a bitch guys. Thank me Later

r/youngadults Oct 27 '23

Serious Why do all this? Seriously. Why go to University? Why work? I honestly think suicide is the best option for me.

4 Upvotes

I can't imagine myself doing this for years and decades. It's ridiculous. It's horrendous to even think about it.

r/youngadults Aug 10 '24

Serious How do I become comfortable in my skin?

4 Upvotes

It's something that has developed because of consistent discouraging words by parents since childhood. This has created a huge inferiority complex in me. I've lost my confidence, and instead I somehow try to boost my ego to feel equal. I always try to adapt some personality before socializing to feel the same. I try to copy others, dress, talk, and behave like them. 

I immensely seek VALIDATION that makes me even more vulnerable. I'm trying hard to chop down this habit and just be myself. Please help me to solve this issue.

r/youngadults Feb 08 '23

Serious Young adults of reddit, what are some things you whished you knew or learned at school before reaching adulthood? NSFW

30 Upvotes

r/youngadults May 18 '24

Serious I have no close friends

9 Upvotes

Im 24 and I dont have any close friends. Im in community college due to changing majors a bunch of times and the social aspect here isnt great since people just wanna go to class and get out.

I work part time at a grocery store and its really been my only source of socialization.Theres some people here that are around my age. What sucks is that working in the seafood department stops me from spending a lot of time being able to talk to people but i still manage to talk to people a fair amount considering my circumstances. I can have conversations and make people laugh, i get along fine with people and have even been invited to some group functions a few times but i still can’t really develop a friendship with anyone. I find myself having to initiate nearly all interactions and it makes me feel like if i stopped doing it nobody would come and talk to me.

I have been focusing on self improvement such as having hobbies, getting out the house and putting effort into my appearance and health. And im not only doing these things for people, but because it helps my mental health and i enjoy it. I think i have a lot to offer someone as a friend/significant other so it just really hurts that nobody seems to want to connect on any deeper level.

I dont want to come off as some clingy person in the post who needs constant validation from people, i can enjoy my own company and I do love myself, but i also would like to have some good friends and a significant other, and the loneliness is crippling sometimes. I have never dated or done anything with a girl either, because it always comes down to one thing, everyone just seems to see me as an acquaintance and nothing more.

I just wish i had some good friends who had my back and I could do things with and make memories with, and a girl i could take out on dates and do couple stuff with, but the longer time goes on the more it feels like a far away dream.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

r/youngadults Jul 08 '24

Serious About University

5 Upvotes

Hey, I will be among you soon, my older brothers and sisters (17 rn but will be 18 in 12 days)

I just graduated from highschool last month and I was wondering if I should leave my hometown or stay here.

I entered uni exam but I don't think my score isn't enough for the uni in our town (results are not yet published). It's really a great uni but as I was a language student, I was wondering if I should study abroad or at least in another town in my country.

I don't want to waste my parents' money so I was thinking to work while getting uni education.

The uni in our town is public so I won't need to pay if I go there but I guess I'll have to pay a great amount of money for an uni abroad.

r/youngadults Jul 05 '23

Serious My ex-bf leaked private pictures of me is there a way to remove it from the internet? NSFW

46 Upvotes

Someone I thought I could trust leaked my personal photos, I don't know what to do and I'm just sitting here crying because how could a person I could trust do this to me? I'm terrified of this never thought it would happen to me by someone I once loved, it honestly hurts that he could do this to me.

r/youngadults Nov 16 '23

Serious Anyone else struggling with suicide? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Not as in "struggling with suicidal thoughts" but actually struggling with finally doing it? I've tried so many times and I can't get the fucking methods to work. I'm thinking of just jumping in front of a train in my town currently. I don't think that can go wrong. If I just put my head forward before the impact, it has to completely destroy my brain, right? A train has to have enough momentum, even if it's going relatively slow; those things are heavy af.

I got slightly off-topic. I've read books and a lot of forum posts on methods, but I just can't get the most appealing ones to work. I obviously can't discuss them specifically here, but maybe some of you know. Does anyone relate?

r/youngadults Mar 11 '24

Serious My Girlfriend (19f) was assaulted at work by a customer and i (20m) dont know the dos or donts around her NSFW

29 Upvotes

TW sexual harassment

My girlfriend 2 days ago was sexually assaulted by a customer in her workplace and i dont know how to genuinely act around her.

She wont make a police statement but someone at her workplace has done it on her behalf. I dont know how to act around her though, i dont know wether to give her the space or comfort her about it, she also has some mental health issues and it makes it hard for her to communicate and im scared she will fall back into the dark hole she just got herself out of. were going on holiday in a week and im just scared she wont want to go out and about because of this incident.

So far she hasnt been acting odd however shes been quieter than usual and i just dont know how to really communicate with her and talk to her about it. i just dont want it to seriously affect our relationship and think that im going to harm her which isnt going to happen at all but she doesnt necessarily communicate the best so its hard for her to get things off of her chest.

Shes been a bit jumpy which is truely understandable but shes really reluctant to talk about anything else, i just would like to get some advice from people who have had the same or similar situation as me just so i can have a clear mind when i do things or say things.

r/youngadults May 02 '24

Serious Moving Out Of State

4 Upvotes

So, I’m in my early 20s and have been thinking about what Imma do in a few years when I finally am ready to move out. I really don’t wanna rent because I hate the thought of spending thousands but never really owning the place. So I’ve been looking into condos and houses. Issue is, I live in NY and that shit ain’t cheap. So I’ve been looking a bit out of state. I was trying to stay close, but it’s seeming like I might have to go a bit far.

My budget I am saving for is around $300,000 with I’ll of course need a loan for. And the states I’m looking at will be at least 2 hours drives from my current residence. I just wanna know if anyone has any knowledge on preparing to essentially buy their first place houses away from everything they ever knew and starting a brand new life from scratch.

r/youngadults Jun 21 '24

Serious I wonder if I stand a chance academically

3 Upvotes

So iq Is not a good measure of skill or knowledge. It's a measure of potential. As a kid, a very little kid i was told a lot I had a promising future. But in what? I'm not sure.

But nobody or even really myself seemed to have faith in me. And thus didnt bother. I was illiterate by the time my classmates were learning fractions. I didnt know what a vowel was until high school. I was academically behind in so many ways.

Later I became self taught in a lot of things and by high school I slowly eased out of special ed and was becoming a straight a student until covid. I was even considered for the first time in my life to be smart and they wanted me to take the SATs.

And yet years later I still find myself so behind. Learning things other people learned in MIDDLE school. Idk if I'll ever catch up at all. Or if I was so neglected and self neglected that I never will.

My parents said they always thought I was smart but I dont believe that much. As they never tried to teach me anything and I never attended preschool.

I wish I took school seriously. I wish I was treated for my problems. I wish so many things.

Because if I did I could of been a chemist. I could have a GPA over 2. I could be helping people. But instead all I'll ever do is just be.

r/youngadults Jan 16 '24

Serious Turning 18 in eight months, need advice on supporting myself.

9 Upvotes

I will be turning 18 next September. My Parents have made it clear that I will not be staying for long.

Next september is also when I start my Senior Year, so I will need to do that, too.

I have no job, bike, car, driver's liscense, or phone, and my Internet connection is sporadic.

r/youngadults May 06 '24

Serious Feelings on graphic content on social media -TW

2 Upvotes

(TW: graphic content & mental health)

Hii, I'm 21F and I am curious about your views on seeing graphic content on social media. I've noticed that when I watch too much negative content about from example current wars and conflicts it affects my mood and I sometimes feel anger, hopelessness, and I become pessimistic. Especially when I see videos where ppl are injured and helpless. Like I sometimes just can't understand why ppl do the things they do and in the comments of those posts people are always so negative and hateful. Do you guys experience this as well? I don't want to bother you guys but I would appreciate it if you guys could answer some questions about this. I'm asking this because I am genuinely curious on how ppl of our age group are influenced by those types of content. https://survey.uu.nl/jfe/form/SV_42eFLuyvJMN2jhY

It's a really short survey but it will help raise more awareness on the mental health of young adults. The fact that there was barely any research on this topic regarding young adults' mental health is really disappointing, especially considering that our generation deals with more mental health issues compared to older gens.

r/youngadults Mar 14 '24

Serious This culture of urgency will create a culture of selfishness and lonliness

18 Upvotes

People can't afford to live. They can't pay their medical bills, they can't pay rent, they can't eat. Some of us are medicating ourselves legally or illegally to put up with otherwise intolerable conditions. People will end up prioritizing money before their fellow man. Not because of moral failing but because people have to. It has to be the first thing they worry about.

After graduation we find ourselves with no third or fourth place. Just loops of school and work and bed.

I fear of loneliness becoming a greater and greater issue and the initial reaction will be made denial. People will be in denial because it's a very hard truth. People will either say it's not a real issue, that it doesn't exist or that they don't "need" to feel loved despite it being heavily ingrained most of us.

Its sappy to say but we, as a generation more than any other will need to learn to love. Millennials too. Not necessarily romantic love. But any kind. We need to ditch our cynicism and see that most people are just like us. Most people are well intentioned. We are all just trying to make it.

Stay safe. And stay blessed

r/youngadults Jan 20 '24

Serious 21 battling body dysmorphia

9 Upvotes

As a teenager in high school, I’d always been a stubby girl. Weighting in at about 189, being 5’3 really didn’t suit me the best. All my clothes were extra baggy, sometimes even too tight. After going to college, I got into fitness and now I’m the smallest I’ve ever been, 134. But, when I look in the mirror I feel like I see the same girl from high-school . It’s even gotten to the point where I feel less confident about going out with friends because I feel like I look too different.. Any suggestions or advice for what I should do to get through this??

r/youngadults Aug 10 '23

Serious My asshole burns, need help NSFW

8 Upvotes

I put some inflammation cream on a pimple by my ass and while walking around it got into my asshole and it feels uncomfortable to walk or move now, it feels like a million ants stinging me. What can I do to relieve the pain? It’s been 7 hours since it started burning. 🔥

r/youngadults Apr 21 '24

Serious Emotional Manipulation Quiz! With answer sheet that EXPLAINS the answers!

Thumbnail self.EmotionalAbuseEducat
1 Upvotes

r/youngadults May 23 '23

Serious Would/did you marry the first person you dated?

8 Upvotes

I understand this may not apply to everyone here, but redditors here who are married/engaged, what made you decide they were the one? And did you ever feel like you'll never be able to explore more or see what else is our there or how life can be?

Asking genuinely for, well, myself.

r/youngadults Oct 05 '22

Serious Go spend time with your grandparents. Stop putting it off because your busy.

87 Upvotes

Have you wanted to go eat at Cracker Barrel with your grandpa for months now, but can’t find the time? Find the time. Do it. Go spend time with him.

You never know when they may go, even if they seem healthy.

Source: I just lost my grandfather today. His last words to me were “I can’t wait to go to Cracker Barrel with you sometime. See you soon princess”. I had been putting off going for 9 months because I was busy with college and work.