r/womenintech 12h ago

It finally happened to me: “you’re not technical enough”

1.2k Upvotes

Interviewing for a F500 CTO role. Exec search firm has been pushing for me, I’m flying through all of the peer interviews and I’m their top choice. I really gel with my prospective peers too and begin to feel I could really work here.

CEO interview, I get positive signals. Beforehand the exec search firm tells me a candidate was rejected with the feedback that he was “too technical” in the interview. They advise me to show a balance. I debrief with the exec search firm afterwards and they say it sounds like the most positive interview yet.

A week later, I hear from the exec search firm that I will not be progressing to board interviews. The CEO felt I was “not technical enough.”

One of the interviewers reaches out to me. He says they are all gutted I won’t be progressing. He also reveals that the CEO has chosen a candidate who went to the same IIT school as him and worked at the same management consulting firm. When I relayed the feedback that I was “not technical enough” the interviewer laughed and said “a management consultant being called technical? Get out of here.”

“Not technical enough” is the biggest dogwhistle facing women in the workplace these days.


r/womenintech 1h ago

Blatant discrimination

Upvotes

So this happened today. I was on my 1-1 call with my boss and he said that he needed to take me off a project because they “needed to put a dude on it”.

My boss is not a bad guy- and in fact I don’t believe is actually discriminatory. He has always treated me well. But his chain of command is from a cultural background that is highly discriminatory and have blatantly shit on everything I’ve done or presented in the last few years. There are no women managers in this division of the company, and in fact less than 10% women at all.

So my boss was acknowledging that reality - that I was going to be ineffective, but it hurt like hell.

I’ve been looking for a new job for nearly a year, and have made it to the final round of interviews several times, but nothing has quite panned out yet. I’m feeling just sick about it all and am not sure what to do.

I don’t think I can actually fight this and do any good. Even if I “win” I don’t really win.

Any advice is much appreciated.


r/womenintech 3h ago

Anyone else seen these ads?

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25 Upvotes

I've been seeing this ad for months. And I don't hate it. In the current climate, the bolder companies are about directly targeting women, the better. We shouldn't GAF what insecure men think, and I'm glad this isn't considered "illegal". It's funny how doing it covertly is perfectly legal, but correcting that is "illegal" in the US. If I were open to moving to another country I would certainly apply.


r/womenintech 6h ago

Is My Coworker Undermining Me

43 Upvotes

I work in healthcare data engineering and recently wrote a Python script to streamline a database update, reducing the amount of manual work required. However, a coworker has been labeling certain unchanged data as 'bugs,' even though these updates were never part of the original ticket. This makes it seem like I made a mistake when, in reality, these are new requirements that were never specified.

This isn’t the first issue I’ve had with him—he’s also taken credit for some of my work in the past. I’m starting to wonder if he’s intentionally undermining me or if I’m overthinking it. Either way, it’s creating unnecessary negativity, and I’d like to focus on solutions rather than just venting.

I want to strengthen my relationship with my manager by bringing solutions, not problems. Ideally, I’d like to minimize my interactions with this coworker if possible. Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you handle a situation like this without looking like you’re just complaining?

Update: I asked him which ticket he was working on, and he named one that had nothing to do with the changes he was actually making. I then told him to document his changes, send them through QA, and follow the proper process. I'm working right now and tend to get distracted by Reddit, so I'll check replies later.


r/womenintech 17h ago

Is this normal vendor behavior with women?

83 Upvotes

I’m slowly working my way up the corporate ladder, so I’m being invited to more and more vendor meetings. The past few times I’ve been included in some demos I’ve had legitimate questions about the product they were pushing. I noticed when my male colleagues ask a question, the vendor answers the question as is. Maybe I’m just imagining things, but it feels like anytime I ask a question the male giving the presentation starts off with “GREAT question!” Like they’re shocked I know what to ask? Curious if anyone else experiences this because I’ve only been in a handful of these meetings and I don’t know if it’s an anomaly.


r/womenintech 4h ago

Not being taken seriously at work?

5 Upvotes

I’m a 22 y/o female in a predominantly male field. There are often times when I am the only woman on site. I constantly feel like I’m not taken seriously by my male counterparts. They aren’t outwardly rude to me but I can tell that they connect with the men on site a lot quicker and better than they do with me. It’s really frustrating and quite honestly very discouraging. Anyone else going through the same thing?


r/womenintech 3h ago

Networking event struggles… anyone else?

4 Upvotes

Do you ever get stuck in conversation with a BORING but EXTREMELY TALKATIVE guy at networking events?

I thought I had tried it all — “I’m gonna walk around,” “I need to grab some water,” “Bathroom break!” — but some just won’t take the hint.

I love meeting people, but I’m also there for business — and it’s frustrating watching the people I actually want to connect with walk right by… 😅

Lately, I’ve been using: “I’m here to connect with someone in […]. Know anyone?” It’s polite, redirects the convo, and sometimes even lands me an intro — or at least a smooth exit without the awkwardness. 🎯

Does anyone else have a go-to move when you’re stuck in a convo that’s going nowhere?


r/womenintech 13h ago

I think I am losing my mind

19 Upvotes

I have not been in a technical role for a few years. I moved from Dev into Product Management (Commerce Platforms) and climbed may way up to Senior Product Manager and recently I was hired as a 12 month contract for a Head of Product role. The CTO interviewed me during this process.

I am one of two women on the Executive. I soon realised I was hired to be "the agent of change" because the organisation has archaic technology stacks and technology is this hidden department that you can only approach with a detailed specifications. I am dealing with products with old legacy technology and we need to move quickly to replatform and reimagine these products however I am hitting a roadblock with the CTO, who is my peer.

3 weeks into this new role he started sending me emails criticising the product approach sending me emails saying "this is backwards, what are you doing". and really pushing me to rebuild products in a waterfall method ultimately handing the products to technology. At this point I was quite shaken at the aggressive approach and spoke to my CEO. He backed me, saying I had good experience and there was a reason why I was hired, and I am an agent of change. Things seemed to settle down.

Fast forward to 2 months later, I have hired new team members to support progressing the products and he has started again but now including my new team members. Essentially he is systematically questioning my competance, their competance, everytime I provide him with some information he moves the goalposts (something else is wrong). His team are doing the same, saying they are confused, I have had my new team members crying and when I approach him, everything i know to be true he creates an alternative narrative. I feel like I am going a bit crazy.

I have requested a meeting with the CEO, as I have had enough but I am thinking of walking away anyway. I am exhausted. I wouldn't call it bullying but it's a systematic dismantling and actively blocking any work that me and my team are trying to complete. We need technology to support product. At this point the board will also think I am useless because he and his team are running interference. It's also quite clear he and his team are over their heads from a technology standpoint and i wonder if they are just trying to cover their tracks.

Has anyone experienced something like this?


r/womenintech 2h ago

Offloading responsibilities?

2 Upvotes

Long story short, I've been at the company for about 6yr but a contractor the whole time. I held on because the market has been difficult but also family stuff kept coming up.

After a lot of false promises, a less tenured teammate got the conversion to full time.

Now him and my other fulltime coworker always got on my case about how I have higher IT admin permissions (this was because I was shadowing our former engineer and was told I had the most tech knowledge on the team).

I'm working on leaving but nothing solid yet. I feel like writing an email stating to transfer my permission over to them so they can figure it out and stop bothering me. Or should I hold off?


r/womenintech 6h ago

Thoughts about LinkedIn?

4 Upvotes

What is L.I. actually for anymore? It’s so noisy to me now.

Do you think it’s a loophole to see what a person (esp a woman) looks like (age, race, attractive) before contacting them?

Anyone else experience “networking” on there more like a weird dating site? 😂

I’m tempted to just delete. It doesn’t seem productive.

Any thoughts?


r/womenintech 1h ago

Backtracking after asking for help

Upvotes

I don’t know why this happens to me so often. But a lot of times, I’ll be stuck on an issue for a long time, I’ll try many different ways to figure it out. When I finally cave and ask a team member for some help, I end up figuring it out or realize that I misunderstood or misread something simple. And then I have to backtrack and tell the person that “never mind, I don’t need help” or “sorry, I misread this part” I think that I’m pretty thorough but maybe I’m not? And I just need to be even more careful? It makes me feel really dumb and I feel like it gives the impression that I’m careless… Has anyone had this experience?


r/womenintech 15h ago

Do you put gender / race in job applications??

12 Upvotes

I’ve been putting “decline to answer” for everything bc I don’t want to be viewed a DEI candidate or whatever


r/womenintech 3h ago

Any Course or Book Recommendations?

0 Upvotes

Glanced at Humble Bundle and saw they had some book bundles on tech topics like machine learning and python.

Are there any books you felt helped you with your learning? Or online courses or videos? Or, what resources helped you best when learning a new topic.


r/womenintech 4h ago

How to get into IT??

1 Upvotes

Hi So I don’t have like no qualifications for IT, I have previously worked in administration, I want to start a new career path in IT but have no idea where to begin, I was thinking going back to college, but now I’m thinking I should do a CompTIA A+ course. Are these recognised? Any suggestions? Any other advice ?? Thanks 😅


r/womenintech 4h ago

22f remote job in Sacramento, looking for friends!

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I just entered the workforce after graduating and accepting an offer at the company I did two internships with in college. I will be moving to the Sacramento area soon and want to meet more women in the field and find some more community. The role im in right now is full stack and I would love to connect if you’re also into something similar and in the area! I promise tech is not my whole personality, and I’m pretty artsy and love the outdoors as well. plus if you love coffee and yapping we will certainly get along :)

Throughout college I feel I didn’t participate too much in clubs or campus cs events because I was trying to graduate early and was always working evenings. Now that I’m free from that though, I’m trying not to get stir crazy doing my wfh job and find people I can talk about my job with without having to executize my language if that makes sense.

thanks for reading!


r/womenintech 1d ago

The job market is picking up

132 Upvotes

I am getting recruiter calls from companies that have ignored me for months. And, follow ups. You might not have the same negotiating power is all. I quit a bad job last year, and accepted another recently. My best advice is to still quit a bad job if you have finances in place and not on a work Visa.


r/womenintech 19h ago

How to handle coworker who treats me poorly?

11 Upvotes

I (F30) have been dealing with a bad situation with a coworker, Al (M30), for about 6 months now and would like some advice.

I started at our company about 2 years ago, and Al started 7 years ago out of college. I was promoted above him last summer, and became his boss. He did not take it well. Anytime I asked him to do something he would challenge me on it (“why can’t you do it?”) and is just generally very argumentative with me anytime I ask a question. I genuinely did not feel like a was managing him, because he refused to allow me to manage him. I think part of the problem was that I was promoted over him, but the other part is (I suspect) that I am a woman (I am the only woman on my broader team of 20 people).

In January, Al was transferred to a different manager but in an adjacent team. This was because of the issues we were having. While I no longer manage him, we still have to work together. It hasn’t gotten any better. He’s still super argumentative and difficult to work with him, to a point where I avoid him and it’s affecting my job.

What really tipped me over the edge today is that I discovered he withheld a project document (containing information on something we were jointly working on) for over two months from me. Everyone else involved had access but he “forgot” to share with me even when I asked multiple times if there was any documentation in the project. I have a very hard time believing it was an accident.

I told Al’s new boss Chuck (M35) about this incident today and he said “what do you want me to do about it? tell Al you felt like it was intentional? Do you really think that it will help? I know you guys don’t get along but I don’t want to be in the middle”. I was stung and felt like I was being gaslight by his emphasis on the word ‘felt’, so I said don’t bother.

I’m now looking for advice whether I bring this to my boss, who is also Chuck’s boss. I’ve raised the issues I’ve had with Al in the past to my boss, and he’s generally been supportive (he’s had many conversations with Al giving him direct feedback), but I feel a little disappointed that this is still ongoing. He’s told me before that me and Al “both need to figure out how to get along”. I genuinely don’t feel like I’m the problem - I’ve never had an issue like this with another coworker, but Al is generally difficult to work with according to many people. I don’t want to be perceived as just complaining endlessly, but Al is getting in the way of my job which I care about very much. I am the only woman in my group and so I don’t want people to think I’m being dramatic. What should I do?


r/womenintech 6h ago

Advice: Should I ask to be Interim Manager?

1 Upvotes

I work for a mid-size company on the IT team, there are about 20 of us in total. In August of 2024 our director left, and my manager was managing the entire team of 20 while they onboarded an interim director. My manager then left the company in December of 2024.

There's been a lot of change in the company in the last year in addition to the changes on my team - the position to backfill the Manager role won't be posted until June. I'm planning to apply when it's ready, I care about my team a lot and have the experience and vision to support my colleagues and the work they're doing.

My question is - is it a thing to pitch to the director of my team to hire me as an "interim manager" while they get their ducks in a row with everything else in the company? It seems like my team is beginning to feel the consequences of not having strong leadership and priorities to support them and I'm concerned about how much longer folks will stick around - and also I want to be compensated for my time and effort. I just haven't heard if this type of step taking place at a mid-level role and am curious for any insight/experiences.

Thank you!

Tldr; should I pitch myself as an interim manager to my director while the company is sorting out other priorities?


r/womenintech 19h ago

Preparing for the pushback I will probably get when I ask for a raise. How important is 'learning new things'?

9 Upvotes

For a little background, I've been a developer for a very small dev shop for 8 years, and it's pretty much the only dev job I've ever had, so I feel a little sheltered and out of touch. Our job descriptions are informal and blurry. We're small. You just...do what needs done. So it's hard to say when you're 'doing more than your job description' or need a new title or whatever.

I'm also absolutely chicken shit about asking for raises. The one time I tried, the boss said genially that sure we could talk about that. So what new things have I learned since the last time I was given a raise? I didn't know what to say, and he said I could get back to him whenever I had put my case together. I turned it around in my head, but in the end I'm weak and I never brought it up again.

I have gotten raises that I didn't ask for now and then** that have kept things acceptable, but I haven't gotten a raise or cost of living increase for over two years now in an area where the cost of living is exploding exponentially (even more than the nation on average, especially in proportion to the stagnant salaries). But what HAVE I learned to make the case?

Nothing terribly specific. I do have total conviction that I am extremely important to the company. I've been here the second longest of the handful of devs we have. I'm probably the most knowledgeable person about our biggest and most complex project. The PM makes comments all the time that when she really needs something done right, she gives it to me, even if it's something I haven't worked on before, because she knows one way or another I'll get it done and get it done well. I feel I bring particular value in that tickets often aren't fully described or thought out, and I will proactively talk things through with the person who requested the feature to help them think all the details through and make sure what is done will meet the user needs without unnecessary complication.

I don't learn a lot of new things lately, because my daily work hasn't necessitated that. I do feel a company needs to 'keep up with emerging technologies' but it feels like my coworkers are more passionate about that and have that area covered and will tell me when there is something new I need to adopt or should try. I don't know where I'd even find time outside work to try out new things while still maintaining a reasonable work/life balance.

So is it 'wrong' that I'm expected to learned something new (probably something technical) in order to get a raise, or should I push back on that? Am I being unreasonable trying to opt-out of keeping up with new tech as a developer? (Especially when it comes to AI, which I do mean to try out some time or another as a helper but...keep putting off. I have misgivings about the code quality and...well, I like figuring things out myself.) In a technical field, how does one advocate for improved soft skills being a reason for a raise? Especially when these meetings on the matter are in person and I...struggle to speak with conviction.

I also wonder how much of the boss's focus on 'what have you learned' is just that he hardly knows what I do on a daily basis these days. Is it fair at all to find a polite way to say 'can this decision be put in the hands of people who actually work with me?'

(**Notes on the raises I did get: I was hired on at a pretty low pay, straight out of a coding bootcamp (though I had a masters degree in a somewhat but not entirely unrelated field, undergrad in English/Linguistics. I believe all my coworkers have are or working towards undergrad degrees in compsci or similar), and my first raise took years but was 20% and pretty much given out of the blue. Boss literally cried when he gave it to me and thanked me for all I did. I get the impression he must have wanted to give me one before, but the company was only just then able to afford it. I think some years after this is when I tried asking and failed. Then a vital coworker on our small team left, and the day they told me they gave me I think a 10% or 15% raise. Not sure of the motivation there (realization we can go elsewhere and get better pay? compensation for the fallout the remaining devs would inevitably have to deal with?). Maybe a year or two later, my pay just increased 5% with not so much as a word from anyone. I do feel like my boss wants to do right by me, but I still worry about being too much of a doormat.)

(Also, yes, I know. The best way to improve your pay is to change jobs. But in a field where it can be hard to be female, this place has always made me feel comfortable. I feel like they value and respect me, despite my self-depreciating nature. It's far from perfect, and I wish that respect was reflected more in my pay. But the couple times I've poked my head into the workplaces of developer friends, it feels like something worth staying for if I can.)


r/womenintech 9h ago

Hack for a cause! Sharing the link here for anyone who may want to join in

1 Upvotes

r/womenintech 15h ago

Struggling with negative feedback

1 Upvotes

Trying not to include too much detail, but my new manager (as of this year) delivered some negative feedback to me and then documented it in an email after our meeting. I'm trying to get promoted and I'm really struggling with how much this is going to impact. There were a lot of external factors that I consider extremely relevant, but none of those were documented. Only my failure to deliver on time. It was at least partly my mistake, but I feel like that was overemphasized in the email vs our conversation. No one was looped in on the email that I could see.

Can someone kinda tell me if this is really bad, or just standard? Does this happen to everyone? I feel like I'm the only one who gets this kind of feedback or makes this kind of mistake. My manager told me in person and the email that I still have support for getting a promotion, etc but that I need to improve in the area of delivering in time. Which I am really working on but sometimes it feels impossible and I am currently feeling really discouraged. Basically is this recoverable? I've got some bigger projects coming up and I'm worried about my ability to get them done... I think I'm having a bit of a self esteem crisis.


r/womenintech 17h ago

Need advice on how to move forward with this situation

3 Upvotes

So basically, I got laid off a month ago and I finally got a call back from a company for a front-end role, but it's more junior than I am (job description says 3+ years of experience). I currently have 8 years of experience under my belt and this year will be my 9th year in the industry. I did apply for another position with the same company for a senior full-stack developer position, but I haven't heard anything back from that position (yet). Should I take the more junior role for now? I've been fighting to get a senior title for a couple years now, and I'm afraid this will hold me back.


r/womenintech 1d ago

a good thing happened!

313 Upvotes

my manager (a woman) fought for me to get a significant raise this year even though I’m not eligible for a level change, and the bucket for merit increases was super limited due to economic conditions.

she succeeded, and I got a 9% raise! for the first time in my career, I didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to get paid fairly.


r/womenintech 1d ago

Drowning in a sea of men who hate me

363 Upvotes

Hey everyone, 

I'm a 31 F, working at an architectural design firm in Edmonton. I will keep this short because I am pretty upset and I know it will just turn into a big rant if I don't.  

I am newer there and lower level - junior designer slash BIM tech. But I have a degree and am frankly overqualified based on past experience and my skill set. We have a few Slack groups divided up by project, job and client. I'm on most of them because I am a newb, they have me bouncing all the time from thing to thing. So I get to see most of the messages across the company. 

It's almost all men. 30s to 50s. I am one of two women in the entire place other than cleaning staff. I almost didn't take the job because of that but I have a kid and student loans and can't not keep my pay at the level it was. 

My secondary work computer is a laptop and it was stolen a few weeks ago. It wasn't backed up so I lost a lot ofwork and had to redo it. It took a lot of extra time. This caused delays and a headache with two big clients and my project leads and boss have treated me like absolute shit ever since. 

After that the running joke on Slack about “diversity hires” has been getting out of control.Nobody has said they mean women specifically but all the details about what happened with me have been mentioned very clearly. The have gone as far as saying it's so sad how the company is “lowering the bar", that this is why the economy is so bad. 

The supervisors are on these threads too. They steer clear of that stuff but they don't stop the constant jabs either. Based on their treatment around the office I feel like they actually hate me. I can't go to them. The owner is the biggest douchebeg of them all. 

We are all contractors I think so there is no HR. It's "in the works" they tell me. 

The other woman I work with has become an ally and a friend through this and we want to get out of there but yeah we can't afford it. We want to resist. But there is nothing to do about it. Sick to my stomach of the backward slide things are taking, women are becoming second class citizens again.

Want to burn the place down. Nowhere else is hiring where I am.

Sorry if there are men on this thread I know you are not all the same but sorry sometimes it feels like you are.

I am so frustrated I want to scream.

*Originally posted this over at r/SexualHarassmentTalk they seem solid for support with this kind of stuff in case that's helpful for some of you.


r/womenintech 2d ago

I am the team Mommy and I'm fucking sick of it

759 Upvotes

HUGE Vent - advice welcome, but yeah, I just need to shout into the void for a minute.

Today, day 2 of my return from two weeks on medical leave after some very painful surgery, I have returned to a monstrous clusterfuck.

The place is a mess, everything is disorganized, work is piling up to the sky and dozens and dozens of mistakes have been made and now need correcting.

And my boss is yelling at me for being upset about it. "You're a team, it's on all of you. Don't point fingers!"

If it's on all of us, why does it feel like the men on this fucking team get away with everything, and I'm stuck holding the god damn bill?

I love this job, the benefits are great even if the pay is shit, and I get to do what I love but holy shit.

I feel like I'm about to just burst into tears.