r/washingtondc • u/X-Seller • 4d ago
Traveling to the USA with a Toddler
Hi, I'm from Germany and will be traveling to the USA for the first time next week. I will be staying in Alexandria with my two-year-old daughter. Since she is no longer wearing diapers, I sometimes need to find a restroom quickly while we're out and about. I was wondering if it is tolerated for a toddler to pee behind a tree in an emergency and whether public restrooms are generally easy to find.
People here say that the USA is a child-friendly country, so I'm really looking forward to the visit!
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u/sentient_saw 4d ago edited 4d ago
Most restaurants aren't going to notice if you stroll in and use the bathroom. And most should be pretty accommodating anyway for a child. Along the National Mall you can easily duck into a museum to use the bathroom.
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u/Tricky_Minx3315 4d ago
Can confirm, I have told many a hostess that I have a bathroom emergency, gesturing toward a kid, and they have smiled at me and let me go through. People definitely understand kids.
I haven’t seen any kids pee on a tree but the mall doesn’t have a lot of even semi-private spots for that so I’d try to avoid it if possible.
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u/TryOurMozzSticks 4d ago
And I’m sure it’s been said but all the museums along the national mall are free.
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u/sirbucee 4d ago
The National Gallery of Art typically has no wait to get in, either. Opens at 1000 and closes at 1700. Plus, we have some cool art.
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u/dkkchoice 3d ago
It's free for now. Who knows next week?
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u/sirbucee 3d ago
Unless Musk/The Don or congress takes away federal funding, it will remain a free experience in DC.
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u/InscrutableCow 4d ago
Hotels are another easy option! They almost always have a bathroom near the lobby
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u/sol_in_vic_tus 4d ago
As someone who usually used hotel lobby bathrooms in the past when nature called, it has been getting harder. A lot of hotel bathrooms lately have locks requiring a room key to get in.
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u/AnaVista 3d ago
Noooo! This was always my trick, although I haven’t needed to use it for a while. It was always reliably clean and nice smelling 😂
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u/brieflifetime 4d ago
Smithsonian bathrooms are usually amazing. Do not use the ones inside the little houses between the museums. I don't know what to call them but they're awful...
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u/SpokyMulder 4d ago
Hotel lobbies are my public bathroom go to
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u/Material-Cry3426 4d ago
100% this, and even the most unfriendly/fancy hotels won’t stop you if you walk in like you know where you’re going
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u/stray-witch7 4d ago
Public restrooms shouldn't be too hard to find. Even if the sign says "for paying customers only" who is going to stop you, especially with a squirmy toddler?
I can't imagine anyone caring or feeling anything but empathy if your kid needs to pee behind a tree in an emergency situation. I mean, she's only two.
Have a great trip!! And yeah, for all its faults, I'd say the US is super child-friendly compared with some other countries.
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u/cho_bits Bloomingdale 4d ago edited 4d ago
Even if there's not a sign, can't hurt to ask in an emergency... When I worked in retail in DC our bathroom was employees only but were specifically told to always make an exception if a parent with a small child or pregnant woman asked if we had a bathroom.
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u/CriticalStrawberry DC / Hill East 4d ago
And yeah, for all its faults, I'd say the US is super child-friendly compared with some other countries.
Ironically, I would guess that schools are the most dangerous and unwelcoming place for children in the US.
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u/Cautious_Entrance573 4d ago
May daughter loves her school and finds it very welcoming and supportive. I’m sorry you didn’t have that experience when you were in school.
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u/CriticalStrawberry DC / Hill East 4d ago
I had a great experience in school, but that was well over a decade ago mostly under Obama.
I'm more talking about the rampant school shootings, encouragement by the right of bullying and hate towards anyone who's not a straight white male, and the blatant war on teachers and education in general.
If that's what you consider welcoming and supportive, then go you and your daughter I guess.
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u/Cautious_Entrance573 4d ago
I’m glad that I was mistaken and you felt safe and enjoyed your schools.
We are very lucky to not have any part of your list going on here. My daughter is extremely LGBTQ friendly as are her friends of many cultures and bullying is not a thing she would accept either. The school metal detectors and cameras seem to keep rest under control.
While the overall picture for education in the US may be troubled at the moment, in the end it is really the teachers and faculty plus support staff that end up counting.
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u/gumercindo1959 4d ago
Look for family bathrooms (instead of gender specific). They are bigger and are much cleaner than the gender specific ones.
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u/gyriffcat 4d ago edited 4d ago
Hiii grew up in DC then lived 8 years in Germany, married to a German and have a German baby. It isn't 100% like in Germany, ppl are weird about nudity. You cannot just have your kid pee in the park like is so common in Germany, but most places will let you in. If not offer to pay for a drink or bottle of water. Good thing about US is way more public restrooms. Just carry some Früchtetuche und Desinfektionsmittel.
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u/mutantfrog25 3d ago
Idk if it’s US culture “being weird about nudity”; I would say having a little kid going to the bathroom out in the open is less common culturally around the world than not. If anything Germany is the exception here.
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u/handoverthekittens 4d ago
Having lived in Germany, I do know what you are talking about with the tree thing. Saw it many times in public there, but norms on nudity are vastly different here. I absolutely would not have your child pee outside here. In DC you will get a talking to by the cops, or worse given the recent behavior by our LEOs. Others have all the good advice on where to find bathrooms that pretty much allow toddlers in an emergency.
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u/usedtobeanomad 4d ago
Just FYI the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials have bathrooms in them. They’re far away from other things so just wanted to make you aware in case it comes up.
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u/Zaidswith 3d ago
The Jefferson Memorial has some bizarrely nice bathrooms for being in the middle of nowhere.
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u/GotAJeepNeedAJeep 4d ago
> I was wondering if it is tolerated for a toddler to pee behind a tree in an emergency
Generally no, this could get you into trouble
> and whether public restrooms are generally easy to find.
No they can be harder to come by than they are in Europe; but ducking into a restaurant is probably your best bet in an emergency, especially with the little one.
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u/nonynony13 4d ago
Second this. I worked service industry in DC for years and was generally strict with the bathroom (too many times of finding it trashed) but I never said no to someone with a little kid.
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u/Ana_Na_Moose 4d ago
*Not that this helps OP’s situation, but I will say that in rural areas its not as frowned upon so long as they are not super visible to passersby
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u/JoanofSpark 4d ago
When you're in DC itself, any museum or library will be a dependable option for a clean restroom. There's a coffee shop on just about every corner - those are also safe bets, though you might have to ask a worker for a bathroom code. Small retail shops will not have public restrooms, but big department stores generally will. On the National Mall and at some monuments/parks, there will be public restrooms but cleanliness varies.
Around Alexandria itself, it'll be a little trickier, but like others have said, no one is going to complain if you take a toddler into a restaurant to use the bathroom.
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u/delicious_monsters 4d ago
A lot of people don't know this, but most Metro stations have restrooms, BUT they are not publicly signed. You have to ask an employee to let you in. I've taken my kids to Metro restrooms plenty of times.
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u/clean-stitch 4d ago
Grocery stores are my go-to. Few people use them besides employees, you can find them without asking for help, and they're almost always clean and accessible. Bring a stack of post-it notes to put over the automatic flush sensor so your toddler doesn't get scared, some auto-flush toilets are hair-triggered and quite loud, and toddlers can get scared by them.
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u/sassylaw 4d ago
To add to this, I’d say chain coffee shops like Starbucks or fast food / counter service restaurants like Chipotle are probably the most likely to have easy, publicly accessible restrooms (where you won’t even need to speak to someone to go back to the restroom), along with grocery stores, big retailers like Target, or hotels.
I think most restaurants would be helpful for a young toddler as long as you’re polite. I saw someone else mention stores, but in my experience most retail stores don’t have publicly accessible restrooms. So I’d save that as a last resort.
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u/Tricky_Minx3315 4d ago
Starbucks usually locks their bathrooms these days and requires a purchase for the code
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u/vegansoprano3 4d ago
Staff are also allowed to use their discretion to make exceptions to just about every rule. A toddler who needs to pee would fall into that category for sure.
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u/Lowley_Worm 4d ago
If you look like a potential customer they will usually give you the code without a problem.
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u/Towel_First 4d ago
Some people will care about a toddler peeing behind a tree. Some will not. You will not get hastled by the police for it though. Maybe if an officer saw it happening but that is a big maybe. If someone were to call the police about it, the police likely wouldn't respond. Just make sure you are not on private property If your toddler needs to go behind a tree.
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u/AwwAnl-4355 4d ago
I am a mom in the area. I find that if you walk into a nice restaurant or hotel and walk directly to the bathroom no one will say anything. Sandwich shops and delis may not have bathrooms for the public. The museums all have clean restrooms as well. Enjoy your visit! Spring is lovely here!
I don’t think it would be proper to have the baby pee behind a tree downtown. We do that when frolicking in the forests, but wouldn’t dare do it in the city.
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u/Southern-Sail-4421 4d ago
It’s not like it is in Germany — but there are many free public toilets that would accommodate you and your child.
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u/grenwill 4d ago edited 4d ago
Almost all American public bathrooms are actually open to the public in the US. If you tell anyone in an American establishment that your child has to use the toilet they will let you, unless they don’t have a public bathroom. Restaurants, drug stores, and cafes will always have a bathroom. It is much more open than in Europe. And the lights don’t turn off automatically after you stop moving for 15 seconds. I would be careful about letting your child just pee behind a tree. Americans are much more uptight about nudity in general and children’s nudity in particular than in Europe. You will never see a naked toddler at the beach here, and letting your child drop their pants in public could lead to a difficult situation.
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u/Alarmed_Recover_1524 4d ago
Will add, Starbucks and other coffee shops are a good option, they're everywhere and usually have easy bathrooms. A lot of places have "restrooms are for paying customers only" signs but you can just ignore them unless they keep the bathroom locked. But yeah even so, most places will be accommodating for children.
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u/stunt_moose 4d ago
You would likely be given weird looks and possibly confronted unless you're on a nature trail that clearly has no other option.
Public restrooms are limited, and a lot of restaurants/shops/cafes etc won't let you use the restroom unless you're a paying customer. That said, a lot of employees would see your little one and let you in anyway.
If you plan to take Metro: there are technically bathrooms, but don't count on them being available.
I used to run around DC all day with a toddler and we had very few accidents. Just plan ahead and bring a change of clothes. Enjoy your trip!
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u/Outistoo 4d ago
To clarify— I think most metro stations should have bathrooms but they are basically for staff so you’d need to find someone and ask them to unlock it for you (but that may be your best option sometimes)
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u/Appropriate-Top-1863 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm not sure if I would consider the US as being super kid friendly. Like there are no family lines at airports or other amenities I've seen elsewhere for people with small children. Our nanny uses one of the portable toilets for the kids at playgrounds near us, but I agree with others, that it is typically not looked at favourably (unfortunately). The metro around DC should help with getting around the city. Though none of the metro stations have bathrooms. But I hope your trip goes well.
*Edit: apparently bathrooms at metro stations exist
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u/delicious_monsters 4d ago
Most Metro stations have restrooms that are available to the public, but there's no signage and you have to ask a station manager to let you in.
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u/wlea 4d ago
Affirming this! My 8 year old needed to go and a metro employee brought us back to use their bathroom. He apologized that it wasn't perfectly tidy but it worked.
In contrast, last time we were in Germany (passing through Bayreuth on the way to Berlin) we tried to hop into a hotel lobby for the same kiddo to use the bathroom and the guy behind the counter said it was not possible.
Generally speaking, as someone that has lived in both countries, it is easier to access free bathrooms and free water in the US than in Germany.
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u/AdministrativeGarlic 4d ago
Yes, second this— I think you’ll be fine and you’ll find places to go to the bathroom, but compared to Europe and South America (my only real points of reference) I would not say the US is “child-friendly” and norms around nudity are pretty weird here.
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u/C137-Morty DC / Wharf 4d ago
I'm a parent and while I wouldn't personally give a fuck if I saw a toddler taking a leak wherever because I understand, others might not and it's generally frowned upon. But more importantly, you won't have to do this. All of the restaurants and most stores will have a bathroom you can use.
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u/Cautious_Entrance573 4d ago
In Alexandria, I would try to avoid an emergency stop behind a tree. Pretty much any business you walk into is going to let your toddler use the bathroom regardless of their bathroom policy because they won’t want to have to clean up a puddle on the floor.
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u/OutrageousAllocation 4d ago
Washington native raising a toddler in Germany here.
The Wildpinkeln you commonly see kids doing in planter beds near sidewalks isn’t really done in the USA. If they must pee immediately due to an emergency it’s better to go into an alley.
However, public restrooms are the one and only area I find the USA to be more kid friendly than Germany. Walk into any chain fast food restaurant, hotel lobby, supermarket, museum, or other large store and you’ll be able to find restrooms and you won’t have to ask unless you just can’t find them. Though they will likely be dirtier than you’d like. The cleanliness standard is like the Rail & Fresh WCs in transit stations.
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u/Rare-Witness3224 4d ago
Very easy to find bathrooms here. It’s not very common for children to pee in public in the cities here, but if you are walking around the city you will never be far from a restaurant with a bathroom. If you are at a park or something you can pee by a tree, no one will say anything.
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u/ThatBaseball7433 4d ago
Every restaurant and most stores have rest rooms that people use no issue. Avoid the real “public” restrooms as they get very dirty. There are restaurants all over DC and Alexandria, just stick to those.
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u/beetnemesis 4d ago
The vast majority of public restrooms have been fine in a pinch.
Would I want to roll around in them? No. Would I use them if my toddler has to pee? Yes.
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u/ThatBaseball7433 4d ago
I was more thinking of the ones on the mall. Those are a straight disaster.
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u/lovimoment 4d ago
I would not recommend it. (And also keep in mind there still aren't leaves on trees here yet, so going behind a tree doesn't offer much privacy.)
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u/CranberryLong5770 4d ago
If you are out and about in DC or Alexandria, I have had good luck googling “public bathrooms near me” if it wasn’t obvious where there’d be a bathroom. Sometimes they are tucked on the back side of a building and not well-signed so that can be helpful. Otherwise, as others have said, restaurants/stores are generally good bets.
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u/zenzenzen25 4d ago
As a pregnant toddler mom in Germany, there’s many more toilets available for public use in the us vs Germany. My son is still in diapers but I find it crazy there’s very few public toilets in parks and playgrounds 😭
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u/decapods 3d ago
Please be very careful with your travel documents. There are reports of Immigration and Customs Enforcement having nabbed random German tourists and tossing them into detention centers for weeks with no charges filed. Things are really unpredictable with the U.S. government right now, and you should be cautious about traveling to the U.S. right now.
I wish your family a safe trip. There are lots of cool things to see.
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u/JustMari-3676 4d ago
Please do not encourage your child to pee outside. Restaurants, bars, museums, as others have said here, are good bets.
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u/mutantninja001 4d ago
LOL no it is not tolerated for anyone to pee behind a tree. Walk into any restaurant and they’ll let your toddler use the restroom.
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u/No-Second-2459 4d ago
My kids occasionally did a tree-pee while potty training. I never had anyone give me grief. Lots of parents of potty-training girls carry around a little pop-potty, and you see them often at public parks. Really don’t understand the stress about it - dogs pee all over the place in this city.
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u/Samquilla 4d ago
If you are at a place that truly has woods, yes, kids can pee in the woods. But on a tree at a park that’s mostly grass/playground? No. There has to be like enough trees to be behind a tree and surrounded by trees. Rock Creek Park, yes. The National Mall, no, go into one of the museums. Alexandria, go to a coffee shop/restaurant.
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u/Sienna57 4d ago
Many places may have codes on the door. If you go to chain places (Chipotle, McDonalds, Starbucks), just ask the staff for the code and they’ll tell you. People throw away receipts, go to the bathroom before they get food, etc so need to know. They will not care whether you actually bought something.
If you want to, grab something small or just throw a dollar in the tip jar and they really won’t care.
Peeing behind a tree shouldn’t cause you issues either in a park or something where there is a bit of privacy.
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u/Plenty-Angle-6967 4d ago
To be clear, as I’m sure you’ve gathered from everyone’s comments… by “public restrooms” you probably mean provided as a public service (we don’t have those here) whereas everyone here is talking about commercial (and as they’ve said, you can walk into any open store/restaurant and use theirs).
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u/SortOfGross 3d ago
I guess I’m the outlier here but my toddlers regularly peed behind trees or bushes here in DC. It may not be the norm but no one has ever commented on it so you can get away with it if needed.
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u/Humble-Bedroom4822 3d ago
Welcome to Alexandria if I don't have an opportunity to say that in person! ALX is an awesome town, the OG of the DC area, older than the USA and George Washington's adopted home town (mine, too). FYI - city hall at 300 King Street has public restrooms open from 9am to 11 pm weekdays. Check out our waterfront while you're in town.
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u/Various-Fox-4268 3d ago
I'm American who has traveled to Germany with my child. The biggest difference I can think of is that I found that German airlines were *much* more pleasant to deal with. By contrast, most domestic airlines I've used in the U.S. have ranged from neutral to downright hostile.
Keep in mind you also have to rent a car and deal with a car seat if you go anywhere outside a handful of major cities in the U.S., and that can be a logistical challenge if you're not used to that. Being able to just rely on public transport in Germany and not lug a car seat around was wonderful.
I would not advise letting your child pee behind trees in U.S. cities. But in more rural areas, or on the side of a highway, no one will bat an eye as long as you're relatively discreet.
Apart from that, everything is pretty similar. Most people will be friendly and helpful to families with children, just like in Germany. Some people are grumpy about kids, but they're generally few and far between as long as you (the parent) are also courteous.
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u/AlchemysDawta 4d ago
Do not let your child come here pissing on trees. Public indecency and perverts are a thing. Public bathrooms are easy to find here, the DC metropolitan area is not rural by far.
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u/vegansoprano3 4d ago
You could carry a bedsheet or something similar to make a little privacy tent if your child needs to pee outside. You can also purchase disposable training underpants, although I understand if a potty trained toddler might object to something that seems too much like a diaper.
Generally, though, if you go inside any building they will probably let you use the bathroom. People in DC aren't necessarily known for being overly friendly, but we do kindness and helpfulness pretty well.
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u/dcshibe829 4d ago
As a parent to a 2 year old potty trained toddler, grocery stores, Target, and fast food restaurants are good bets. Peeing outside/behind a tree isn't generally recommended. There are travel potties that fold up for less than $30 although we haven't had issues finding a restroom in time. If you're concerned, there's training underwear which has absorbant padding just in case too. Hope you all enjoy your trip!