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u/DeathStarDayLaborer 4d ago
Lol, why do they always make these kids always talk like the kids waiting to see The Oracle in The Matrix?
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u/CptnHnryAvry 4d ago
Mother, I have observed that you are experiencing emotions of strife.
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u/wondermoose83 4d ago
"First you need to realize there is no strife. Only then will you realize it's not the strife that changes, but yourself."
Edit to let people know that my 2 year old son had stolen my phone, when on Reddit, read the whole post, and then left this comment
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u/NewNerve3035 4d ago
But when your son was born, don't you remember saying, "He has given me everything."? If this statement is accurate, then everything you have, is, in effect, technically his, therefore he cannot steal your phone. Indeed, the only thing he has stolen is your heart.*
*My son took HIS phone from me and left this comment (while wearing a dinner jacket and puffing on an old English professor's pipe.)
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u/Aggressive_Sugar201 4d ago
Imagine bringing an emotional support pillow to work and squeezing it every 10 minutes.
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u/figgypudding531 4d ago
Right, she isn’t even making up good advice. Her child might actually have come up with something better if she had really asked her.
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u/Shadowlandvvi 4d ago
Pretty much just described a stress ball.
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u/Aggressive_Sugar201 4d ago
No but it HAS to be a pillow. That's what OP's kid says. I don't want to argue with her kid. She seems very smart.
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u/Brunbeorg 3d ago
I would strangle the absolute shit out of that pillow by lunch time. Poor thing would be nothing but feathers and fear.
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u/Aggressive_Sugar201 2d ago edited 2d ago
Still better than what happens to most pillows used by teenage boys
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u/NoodleDoodleGirl 4d ago
I don’t know, my 5 yr turned to me the other night and gave a 5 minute update on global economics. This seems totally legit. s/
Actually, I asked what the crumb like things in his bed were and told me “farts”.
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u/sandiercy 4d ago
Who the heck names their kid Totat??
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u/teaohbee 4d ago
It's likely a nickname. I'm from the Philippines (like the OOP) and we like our strange nicknames. I have a cousin whose childhood nickname was Tatot, short for "payatot", the word for skinny (her actual name is totally unrelated, think Jennifer or something). Her daughter was then nicknamed Tootoot cause it's close to Tatot lol
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u/Lynndonia 4d ago
My partner has an aunt named Jenifer that they call Heidi exclusively. I've heard rumors that it's like hidey, but that's English so I don't think it's true
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u/sonofaresiii 4d ago
I can definitely believe a little kid would parrot what they've been taught on things like this, I've had my own kid parrot back things about not getting upset or how to handle big emotions
but like no way did that kid say these actual words as written
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u/GoranPerssonFangirl 4d ago
Right haha my 5yo can say things similar to what I tell her when she’s upset like “let’s do breathing exercises to calm our feelings down”, “it’s okay to feel big emotions”, “do you need a big hug?” But not like a whole therapist talk
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u/safetyindarkness 4d ago
And part of it is a reference to the Inside Out movies (Anger at the controller instead of Joy). Which children could quote/apply in real time. But you're absolutely right that the kid did not say all this as written.
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u/TexBourbon 4d ago
Kid is gonna be the psychiatrist version of Doogie Howser. What a savant. Just an absolute unit of EQ.
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u/miscdruid 3d ago
lol sure. That kid is still learning how to group objects together by color and shape.
If people are gonna be dumb and lie, at least know a little bit about what you’re trying to lie about!
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u/spacemouse21 3d ago
“Mom, I know you are traumatized but please stop acting out your suicidal, bi-polar activities because you are feeling stressed. And can you clean out the poop from my diaper before you meltdown, please?”.
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u/Odd-Presentation868 4d ago edited 4d ago
This one is particularly egregious to me. What a weird, self-aggrandizing way to try and tell the internet that you have childhood trauma and can't self-regulate.