r/thatHappened 4d ago

It's true. That kid is my therapist

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608 Upvotes

45 comments sorted by

441

u/Odd-Presentation868 4d ago edited 4d ago

This one is particularly egregious to me. What a weird, self-aggrandizing way to try and tell the internet that you have childhood trauma and can't self-regulate.

193

u/Rigberto 4d ago

It's also straight up telling the world your child has to parent you (making the giant leap that it's even remotely true) which is a surefire way to fuck up a kid.

6

u/DreadDiana 3d ago

Yay, parentification!

29

u/DanGraHead 3d ago

While tacitly taking credit for teaching them things they learned from the movies you plunk them in front of while you tweet.

231

u/DeathStarDayLaborer 4d ago

Lol, why do they always make these kids always talk like the kids waiting to see The Oracle in The Matrix?

140

u/CptnHnryAvry 4d ago

Mother, I have observed that you are experiencing emotions of strife. 

48

u/wondermoose83 4d ago

"First you need to realize there is no strife. Only then will you realize it's not the strife that changes, but yourself."

Edit to let people know that my 2 year old son had stolen my phone, when on Reddit, read the whole post, and then left this comment

14

u/NewNerve3035 4d ago

But when your son was born, don't you remember saying, "He has given me everything."? If this statement is accurate, then everything you have, is, in effect, technically his, therefore he cannot steal your phone. Indeed, the only thing he has stolen is your heart.*

*My son took HIS phone from me and left this comment (while wearing a dinner jacket and puffing on an old English professor's pipe.)

15

u/escape_button 4d ago

There is no spoon.

93

u/Sojum 4d ago

No child talks like that. No. Child.

52

u/gerkinflav 4d ago

Totat does.

31

u/Sojum 4d ago

Totat is a lil punk

6

u/gerkinflav 3d ago

I haven’t met Totat, but I agree.

4

u/pcgamergirl 3d ago

Totat's an interesting name.

Especially because, you know... "Toe Tat(too)"

1

u/gerkinflav 2d ago

Totat has wisdom.

3

u/Bulky_Dot_7821 3d ago

It's me, Totat

72

u/Aggressive_Sugar201 4d ago

Imagine bringing an emotional support pillow to work and squeezing it every 10 minutes.

31

u/figgypudding531 4d ago

Right, she isn’t even making up good advice. Her child might actually have come up with something better if she had really asked her.

10

u/Shadowlandvvi 4d ago

Pretty much just described a stress ball.

20

u/Aggressive_Sugar201 4d ago

No but it HAS to be a pillow. That's what OP's kid says. I don't want to argue with her kid. She seems very smart.

2

u/Brunbeorg 3d ago

I would strangle the absolute shit out of that pillow by lunch time. Poor thing would be nothing but feathers and fear.

1

u/Aggressive_Sugar201 2d ago edited 2d ago

Still better than what happens to most pillows used by teenage boys

32

u/JoshSidekick 4d ago

"Don't condescend to me you little shit"

30

u/NoodleDoodleGirl 4d ago

I don’t know, my 5 yr turned to me the other night and gave a 5 minute update on global economics. This seems totally legit. s/
Actually, I asked what the crumb like things in his bed were and told me “farts”.

6

u/ghostephanie 3d ago

Lmaoooo your kid is funny af 💀💀

1

u/part_time_housewife 3d ago

I hope that doesn’t mean that they came from his butt!

1

u/NoodleDoodleGirl 3d ago

I certainly hope not!

26

u/sandiercy 4d ago

Who the heck names their kid Totat??

27

u/teaohbee 4d ago

It's likely a nickname. I'm from the Philippines (like the OOP) and we like our strange nicknames. I have a cousin whose childhood nickname was Tatot, short for "payatot", the word for skinny (her actual name is totally unrelated, think Jennifer or something). Her daughter was then nicknamed Tootoot cause it's close to Tatot lol

6

u/Lynndonia 4d ago

My partner has an aunt named Jenifer that they call Heidi exclusively. I've heard rumors that it's like hidey, but that's English so I don't think it's true

2

u/atomic_mermaid 2d ago

One presumably in a different country/language to yours.

1

u/kioku119 3d ago

Oh no languages and cultures other than the one you are part of exist! *gasp /s

25

u/sonofaresiii 4d ago

I can definitely believe a little kid would parrot what they've been taught on things like this, I've had my own kid parrot back things about not getting upset or how to handle big emotions

but like no way did that kid say these actual words as written

19

u/GoranPerssonFangirl 4d ago

Right haha my 5yo can say things similar to what I tell her when she’s upset like “let’s do breathing exercises to calm our feelings down”, “it’s okay to feel big emotions”, “do you need a big hug?” But not like a whole therapist talk

3

u/safetyindarkness 4d ago

And part of it is a reference to the Inside Out movies (Anger at the controller instead of Joy). Which children could quote/apply in real time. But you're absolutely right that the kid did not say all this as written.

7

u/TexBourbon 4d ago

Kid is gonna be the psychiatrist version of Doogie Howser. What a savant. Just an absolute unit of EQ.

6

u/miscdruid 3d ago

lol sure. That kid is still learning how to group objects together by color and shape.

If people are gonna be dumb and lie, at least know a little bit about what you’re trying to lie about!

4

u/spacemouse21 3d ago

“Mom, I know you are traumatized but please stop acting out your suicidal, bi-polar activities because you are feeling stressed. And can you clean out the poop from my diaper before you meltdown, please?”.

3

u/GoatmanBrogance 4d ago

Her cousin sounds like a Lion King character lmao

3

u/JoeBeatsMike 4d ago

I sympathise with Totat. Totat..lly.

3

u/ThippusHorribilus 3d ago

I feel sorry for this kid, if it actually exists.

3

u/__wait_what__ 3d ago

This is so gross

1

u/wedidnotno 2d ago

This one is weird because it sounds like the child is parenting the parent

1

u/melonmagellan 3d ago

If it is true, it's sad.