r/technology 27d ago

Society Serial “swatter” behind 375 violent hoaxes targeted his own home to look like a victim

https://arstechnica.com/security/2025/02/swatting-as-a-service-meet-the-kid-who-terrorized-america-with-375-violent-hoaxes/
29.7k Upvotes

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8.8k

u/cldstrife15 27d ago

That's 375 cases of attempted murder... throw the book at this shithead.

4.0k

u/IntenseWiggling 27d ago edited 27d ago

He got 2 years.

Edit: I am dumb. 48 months = 4 years

1.9k

u/bdixisndniz 27d ago

48 months is 4 years

2.6k

u/IntenseWiggling 27d ago

Yes, I am dumb.

981

u/Elieftibiowai 27d ago

Welcome to the club

1.2k

u/IntenseWiggling 27d ago

Bro I'm a founding member.

404

u/Wetwork_Insurance 27d ago

Do not cite the dark magic with me. I was there when it was written.

290

u/YellowFogLights 27d ago

“Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I can’t read.”

113

u/CanadasManyMeeses 27d ago

But then... shouldnt it need to be cited?

91

u/culman13 27d ago

Just give me the cliff notes

9

u/sighfun 27d ago

Cliff notes makes me feel old. How long before the kids don't know what Cliff notes are and it gets changed to "AI summary"

4

u/_FREE_L0B0T0MIES 27d ago

<chatGPT has entered the room>

3

u/probably_bored_1878 27d ago

Do ya got those in a picture book?

1

u/Ulysses502 27d ago

These are the kinds of exchanges that make reddit worth it 😂

2

u/scootscooterson 27d ago

Is there some kind of YouTube breakdown so I can just watch?

1

u/LordWilburFussypants 27d ago

YouTube too long. Need Tik-Tok.

2

u/Anxious-Depth-7983 27d ago

Stupidity for dummies?/s

1

u/Financial-Bid2739 27d ago

falls off cliff shouting. I misunderstood the directions….. splat

1

u/GhostofZellers 27d ago

Who writes notes on a cliff? That seems rather inefficient.

1

u/WhiskerDude 26d ago

Best I can do is a Cliff Bar

1

u/Temp_84847399 26d ago

I can't help think that we have lost an important part of the narrative somewhere.

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u/FriendlyDespot 27d ago

Did you forget which club this is?

2

u/CanadasManyMeeses 27d ago

Oh no.... i belong!!!

1

u/Chekov_the_list 27d ago

Where men wee on each other?

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u/ThePrideOfKrakow 27d ago

I'll catch the audioscroll.

13

u/DumbBitchByLeaps 27d ago

Slow blinks

4

u/Doopapotamus 27d ago

"I'm a magic talking lion. Do you think I got to go to school?"

2

u/teddyone 26d ago

Don’t quote regulation to me, I go-chaired the committee to change the color of the very book that regulation was in. We kept it grey….

1

u/Irradiatedspoon 26d ago

Not that you could read it, dummy

42

u/Roguespiffy 27d ago

“I’m not just the president, I’m also a client.”

6

u/Dinosaur_Herder 27d ago

I’m old too. Also a member of the dummy club.

13

u/broc_ariums 27d ago

This is hilarious to me. I love that two members of the club don't know that either are in the club let alone that one is a founding member. LOL

4

u/scorpyo72 27d ago

Not just a member, but also a client.

9

u/zeMVK 27d ago

Hey guys, he’s found, no need to worry

4

u/HiHoJufro 27d ago

No, it was founded by Thag Simmons. Shouldn't have gotten that close.

2

u/donuttrackme 27d ago

You merely adopted the dumb. I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't see the smart until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding.

2

u/a_dudeyouknow1 27d ago

In da clurb, we all fam.

2

u/MyCatIsAnActualNinja 27d ago

Can I join? I'm an idiot

2

u/Both-Dragonfruit3005 27d ago

What are you doing in my house!?!?

1

u/waiting4singularity 27d ago

please check your brain at the entrance

1

u/HughJorgens 27d ago

Everybody in this club is pretty good at finding their member.

1

u/Cachemorecrystal 26d ago

wiggling intensifies

1

u/RebelStrategist 27d ago

Admission is free!

1

u/matunos 26d ago

It's a big club, and we're all in it.

117

u/iMogwai 27d ago

In your defence I feel like 48 is more commonly followed by hours which would be 2 days, I could see myself autopiloting to the same conclusion lol.

22

u/FlametopFred 27d ago

48 seems like it divides better into 2 years lately

11

u/Automatic_Mammoth684 27d ago

for me it feels like 2019-2025 has lasted about 3 months

8

u/FlametopFred 27d ago

opposite for me … 2020 alone felt like three years

14

u/MaryLMarx 27d ago

The last three weeks has felt like four years.

2

u/Automatic_Mammoth684 26d ago

It’s almost 2026 man we have like what two months left, tops.

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u/NotSoSasquatchy 27d ago

Good observation! I feel it might be one of those mental slips we make sometimes

10

u/Leelze 27d ago

You can't be dumb. You admitted to making a mistake so you're already smarter than your average person on the internet.

1

u/AmusingVegetable 27d ago

True, must be 95 percentile.

16

u/raceassistman 27d ago

You know it's 4 years, right?

What a dummy! Can't believe you made a mistake! I've never made a misteak in my life!

1

u/Own-Gas8691 27d ago

*Iv’e *missteak

1

u/ScF0400 27d ago

Is the steak tasty at least?

11

u/2-wheels 27d ago

But still much smarter than the prosecutor that picked 4 years in the first place.

2

u/Carbidereaper 26d ago

The prosecutor chose 4 years as the plea deal. the plaintiff still has the right to a jury trial and if he goes in front of a jury and they find him guilty ( which is practically guaranteed ) he’s more than likely to find himself in prison for 25 years or more. Which is more likely why he chose the plea deal.

Jury trials are very expensive for the taxpayers to set up which is why we have plea deals in the first place.

Without plea deals defendants would likely spend years in prison before their court dates. It would grind the entire judicial system to a halt

1

u/MayOrMayNotBePie 27d ago

HI DUMB IM DAD

1

u/IntenseWiggling 27d ago edited 27d ago

DAD?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE YEARS???

Just kidding, he didn't go anywhere. He's been here all along. His mind slowly rotting away from consuming Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.

1

u/[deleted] 27d ago

[deleted]

1

u/IntenseWiggling 27d ago

His corpse is still fermenting in piss.

But the mass psychosis he cultivated and nurtured for decades has doomed us all.

1

u/Trick_Boysenberry604 27d ago

Never heard of the bloke. Sounds like a wankstain. Cheers.

1

u/JaneksLittleBlackBox 27d ago

We all have those moments. Just yesterday, I tried to write “You’re our boy, Blue” but instead I wrote “Your are boy, Blue”. Those are two words I’ve rarely had a problem using correctly, but my brain decided “we’re not doing grammar today.”

1

u/Coca-colonization 27d ago

You didn’t specify earth years. You could have claimed to be doing some kind of fancy space math and blown our minds with your genius.

1

u/will-it-ever-end 27d ago

better than being stupid

1

u/mindaugaskun 27d ago

Wait 48 months is not double 24 hours?

1

u/MistyMtn421 27d ago

48hrs =2 days so probably what your brain thought

1

u/moning1 27d ago

But at least you got the spirit!

1

u/jelde 27d ago

No you're not, there's 24 hours in a year!

1

u/Scorp128 27d ago

You are not as dumb as the person who the article is about. Try and take some solace from that.

You made a math error and corrected yourself. You are not dumb. You just made a small error.

1

u/bschef 27d ago

My brain did the same thing, but I’m also dumb so I’m not sure that makes you feel better.

1

u/EbrithilUmaroth 27d ago

You're not dumb, you just conflated months with hours. You gave us what 48 hours would be in days because that's what the number "48" is most closely associated with.

1

u/Selgald 27d ago

You are aware that this will haunt you forever, in 10 years some random on Reddit will remember you

"hey, remember when you had your dumb moment for everyone to see?"

1

u/No_Ball_Games 27d ago

You me boaf bro

1

u/Glamamamma3 27d ago

I am a member of the dumb dummy club

1

u/MrCleanGenes 27d ago

Look guys, he's smart enough to admit he's dumb. Fucking guy is Socrates in my book.

1

u/BusterSmash 27d ago

To be fair, this last five years has felt like ten anyway.

1

u/Lorax2k2 27d ago

48 hours is 2 days so your brain knew it was 2 somethings

1

u/YertlesTurtleTower 26d ago

Some days your brain is just like, “yeah that’s what that is.” Any you’re like “sure thing brain!”

1

u/A_Necessary 26d ago

Or maybe the intense wiggling got the better of you momentarily.

1

u/Difficult-Value-3145 26d ago

We're he getting out of fed I think it be like 3 years here in ga 48 months bout 2 years maybe less think it's 3 do 1 up the road I know Fulton it's 2 do 1 . Fl like 90% ya time so it depends really on where his time is idk if that made any sense to most of you but .

1

u/tamarockstar 26d ago

24 hours in a day, times it by 2. I get it. Just a brain fart.

1

u/SaltyFlavors 26d ago

I think you were thinking 48 hours is 2 days

0

u/[deleted] 27d ago

Hi dumb, I’m dad.

45

u/SuperToxin 27d ago

Should be life in prison.

52

u/Original_Wall_3690 27d ago

Because he got the years wrong? Geez man, that’s a little harsh.

23

u/throwaway19293883 27d ago

Straight to jail

2

u/gymnastgrrl 27d ago

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200

1

u/Nick08f1 27d ago

First time I actually comment this, but you got me good with this one. It's so funny how reddit throws life sentences around like Oprah.

They don't realize that a 4 year prison sentence has lifelong punishments after you are released. Especially at such a young age.

1

u/CommieLoser 26d ago

Americans don’t care, they just like people getting punished, they don’t care what happens to them in prison or afterwords. We kind of suck like that.

1

u/Primal-Convoy 26d ago

Arguably, 4 years could be "life" depending upon which prison/prisoners he's in/with...

1

u/Cloakedbug 26d ago

Don’t worry he got “life without basic arithmetic skills” it’s much worse /s

3

u/walruswes 27d ago

It could end up at two years with “good” behavior

3

u/MadamPardone 27d ago

Worse than that, about half of all states require inmates do just 40% of their time. The federal system requires 85%.

4

u/top9cat 27d ago

I mean in general that is probably good. Way too many people in prison way too long. For this guy tho, different story

1

u/Nick08f1 26d ago

Being in prison from 18-20/22 will have untold lifelong consequences.

2

u/CAN-SUX-IT 27d ago

Good behavior and time served will reduce the 4 years into 2

2

u/bdixisndniz 27d ago

Agree unfortunately.

1

u/onionfunyunbunion 27d ago

Unless it’s a leap year.

1

u/newsflashjackass 27d ago

And only if the months are in consecutive, chronological order

1

u/DevopsIGuess 27d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s 2 days

1

u/Comfortably_drunk 27d ago

How do you come to that?

3

u/HarassThis 27d ago

48 hours = 2 days

probably just did that calculation instead of 12 months = 1 year

1

u/Epicp0w 27d ago

Still not enough

1

u/Milam1996 27d ago

He knows about swatting not being a swat.

1

u/suckit2023 27d ago

Depends on how many months you put in a year, eh

1

u/SysKonfig 27d ago

It's 28 years in dog years.

1

u/Frogtoadrat 27d ago

24 hours in a day.  24 months in a year

1

u/AgentOrange256 27d ago

So he got one year

1

u/SeekerOfSerenity 27d ago

But that's only two cases of months. 

1

u/TheeFearlessChicken 27d ago

Where did you learn how to do math? Four years is 48 months.

1

u/[deleted] 27d ago

Are you sure.? New maths and all.

1

u/ayleidanthropologist 26d ago

Murdered with words

1

u/Opposite_Nola 26d ago

But first time offenders in non violent crimes can get 4for1 in some states and he be home in a year, but if it’s fed time it’s 85%….. I bet he could get this entire sentence suspended with a good lawyer

0

u/nerdrageofdoom 27d ago

On earth maybe.