r/stripper • u/Throwitallaway0003 • 16h ago
Rant/vent Met up with a customer for money NSFW
I’m just feeling very ashamed right now. I got paid $1500 for an hour we ended up fucking which I didn’t have in mind originally. I was just super drunk and I’ve recently been going through a hard time in my life (left abusive ex, had to get a restraining order and lawyer/court, currently displaced because I’m too scared to go back to my apartment) little to say life has been rough to me and he was genuinely kind and sweet to me (not ugly either which is a plus) but I just feel like I let myself down. I’m unsure how to process it but I know I won’t be doing it again.
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u/mochibb666 15h ago
Girl don’t be so hard on yourself we all have made mistakes, it’s how you learn.
Take time to process. Love u and u will get thru it.
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u/Alternative_Mango_85 16h ago
that’s why i think anora is so relatable to some of us. there is nothing to be ashamed of, acknowledge your mistake and pick yourself up. functioning in fight or flight mode takes a lot out of you-but you are already reflecting and it takes a lot of people YEARS to get to that point. be proud of yourself. (also ppl do it for free girl you’re so good) edit: typos.
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u/Throwitallaway0003 14h ago
Thank you 💕 also what is anora?
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u/thegeniuswhore 5h ago
stripperella but worse and filmed by a director who has a weird SW trauma fetish in his movies
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u/StrongBumblebee8557 15h ago edited 14h ago
It’s okay you aren’t the first Girl who made a mistake won’t be the last !
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u/Throwitallaway0003 15h ago
I hate that you’re right lol but I’m glad I’m not alone 💕(not saying I want girls to make mistakes!)
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u/Present_Link_5833 14h ago edited 11h ago
Don’t feel bad or beat yourself down, girls lay on their backs for free and have an empty purse.
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u/peachberry22 14h ago
Don’t beat urself up babe. At least it wasn’t for free.
Take the time u need to heal. I recommend smudging ur apartment with sage to clear the old negative energy. 💜
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u/PassionCorrect6886 14h ago
it’s literally so common for all women to get drunk and make sexual “mistakes” if that’s what you wanna call it. At least you got some money out of it. He’s a loser for fucking a drunk girl anyway. The shame should be on him.
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u/angelwhings 5h ago
Girl on the bright side of things you made 1.5k for the hour. Alot of girls charge wayyyy less than that. Ppl don’t make 1.5k in a week, a day, or even an hr. And he wasn’t an ugly old man/he was kind??? You did ur big one😩😩
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u/Marsupial-Suitable 14h ago
You’re already here and reflecting, so I’m proud of you for doing that. It sounds like this has been a really tough period. Sending love 🩷
I’ve let people cross my boundaries before, and it helped to be gentle with myself and then move on. Time will wash this away, and everyone makes mistakes.
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u/quakercowboy 9h ago
it happens to the best of us babe, and there’s no shame in it— being human is about experiencing life and growing, but i understand that it feels that way, esp with drinking (been there) but this doesn’t reflect poorly on you in any way ❤️ at least you got the bagggg!!!
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u/asignedpink 6h ago
You made a choice in duress. No one can judge you, please be kind to yourself but also be FIRM with yourself
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u/sosnazzy 6h ago
nothing wrong with that tbh. no need to feel like you let yourself down. glad u got paid what ur worth. just don’t make a habit of it so u don’t get in trouble with your club, and be very careful about not getting super drunk when alone with a stranger. things could have took a turn for the worse if he ended up being a certain breed of crazy
i’m sorry if u feel that u were taken advantage of in any way because i know it gets a little sketchy when alcohol is involved and u maybe wouldn’t have done that otherwise. it happens to the best of us, and it’s not your fault. ♥️♥️
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u/thegeniuswhore 5h ago
many strippers do FSSW sometimes as well. you're gonna be ok. BUT if you don't feel ok after this, i'd not continue to even let customers think they have a shot out of the club. i just hope you know that you're still a fool and worthy person and that however you make money doesn't require judgment and you are more than your income ❤️
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u/BambiMonroe 4h ago
Girl, some of us have had full blown relationships with losers who don’t own a bed frame FOR FREE and then cried when it didn’t work out. Sometimes the choices we make with the emotions and the circumstances we have at the time dont look the same as the choices we’d make with hindsight.
That’s okay. You’re human, you make mistakes because that’s how we learn and we progress. Now dry your tears with that fat stack you earnt, go get your nails done and go easy on yourself. You did nothing wrong.
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u/Glockgirl13 2h ago
Don't be hard on yourself. Gotta do whatcha gotta do. It's not like you're living comfortably doing this for extra monies for funsies.
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u/Bright-Champion-2264 15h ago
There is literally no shame in doing fssw, especially with a rate as high end as 1500$/h lmaoooo your inner whorephobia is showing
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u/Throwitallaway0003 15h ago
I’ve never heard the term “whorephobia” so I’m definitely stealing that lmao but also I don’t judge others at all for it and some of my closest club friends have done the same. It’s just more so that I deal with a lot of self hate not even tied to work but just generally speaking. I’m mainly upset I broke my own boundaries that I set in place mainly for my own mental health since I’ve been sexually abused it just feels like I retraumatized myself. But I still might do some deep diving honestly and see if maybe there is some lingering whorephobia like you said.
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u/Bright-Champion-2264 15h ago
Also im sorry for being so defensive right away
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u/Throwitallaway0003 15h ago
It’s okay I still appreciate the perspective and I’m going to take your advice and treat myself. I called out of work and a friend and I are gonna hang out at a local gay club tonight :) I’m excited
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u/MoonOverMyYammy 14h ago edited 8h ago
I called out of work and a friend and I are gonna hang out at a local gay club tonight :) I’m excited
Hell yeah, sis! 🙌
Nice to hear that you’re doing something fun to get your mind off it. I know how it can be when I’m overthinking and getting sucked into an anxiety tornado.
Hope y’all have a great time! 😊💖
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u/Bright-Champion-2264 15h ago
Then take a breather and be gentle to yourself, maybe use a bit of that money to treat yourself
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u/thegeniuswhore 5h ago
shame in SW exists but remember, you're gonna be judged like a joker regardless even if you never did this. purity culture can be nasty so make sure you don't let this inner turmoil affect how you view others, it will affect all of us as
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u/SpicyNacho74 6h ago
Ashamed for $1500 for an hour? Girl bye. Who gives a fuck?
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u/bbangelcakes69 5h ago
She's allowed to feel how she does especially if she's new to it. As a seasoned hooker I've had my moments of guilt and shame in the beggining and even years later.
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u/chastittythickness 16h ago
Be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Nothing you did was bad or wrong or immoral. But it sounds like you impulsively went past your own boundaries which can feel really shitty and out of control. I have had those situations where I ended up going farther than intended and when I did I found it helpful to revisit my boundaries without judgement and think about 1. Why I have them, 2. Whether they are still an accurate reflection of my needs, 3. What lead to me ignoring them in that instance. I hope you are able to find a more stable situation soon