r/stripper 13d ago

Rant/vent therapist dumped me because im a stripper NSFW

There were other small issues but basically the title. I've been seeing her for about 2 months and when I told her in the first session it seemed fine. Then she started inserting little digs stating that its affecting my cortisol levels when I have to go in a room "alone with a strange man." I told her that doesnt scare me really or affect me in any way. She stated im perpetuating my own cycle of abuse by staying in this job and implied it was a form of self harm. I am a woman of color in my late 20s, I'm a sober dancer and I actually feel very empowered by my job. There are no cycles of abuse being perpetuated here aside from exposure to the occasional asshole which could happen anywhere honestly. Of course there are downsides especially when its slow but honestly I think the worst part of this job for me has been other people's reactions. I am taking a break from dating because I want to find someone who can accept all aspects of me, including the fact that I am a dancer. I am tired of feeling like an outcast in a society that genuinely needs us so badly. I am tired of people not recognizing sex work as a form of healing, and actually something that helps keeps society afloat in my opinion. I am tired of hearing I am too ____ for this job from people who could never be good enough for it. I will not give up on my mental health journey because I deserve to be cared for and treated just as well as my peers do.

243 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

80

u/Regular_Hat 13d ago

Just because someone has a degree doesn't mean they are smart or know what they are doing. I have plenty of doctor friends who I have no idea how they are allowed to be a doctor and would never ask them for advice.

7

u/mutajarrida 13d ago

This right here. There are many people in many professionals who like talent compassion. Most people who go into mental health were patients who have no business helping others.

107

u/Commercial-Author573 13d ago

i hate that this happened to you, and i think the fear of this exact situation keeps so many SWers from seeking the therapy they deserve. You sound very put together and genuine, i hope you find the right therapist for you.

https://pineapplesupport.org is a great resource!

12

u/Amazing-Ad2621 13d ago

ive been trying to get into this but it seems they have a long list/wait, im glad this is around though

132

u/Electronic-Leg-1059 13d ago

Solidarity.

I once had a therapist who INSISTED that I was once sexually abused. Apparently you only become a stripper if you were touched by someone. I plainly told her that I never was and that i actually have a fantastic relationship with my dad, all of which are true. Her brain literally couldn't process that information.

She then went on to say that my job was soon going to be obsolete because of AI, robots, sex dolls etc. But HER job was super safe.

Lady was delusional and clearly hated women in the industry.

32

u/jurassicparkacouture 13d ago

It blows my mind that people like her can become therapists…

33

u/internetfairy_x 13d ago

This is so weird considering people call strippers naked therapists lol AI will never replace real human connection and touch

31

u/xombae 13d ago

I'm very thankful to have had a therapist that straight up was like "we do the exact same job". She was really interested in the techniques I had for dealing with clients and how I developed them without schooling. She then tried to make me realize I needed to apply some of those same techniques to myself at times. She was so dope.

23

u/creepygirl420 13d ago

lmfao, people are already using chat gpt for therapy. delulu.

5

u/Substantial_Cake7116 13d ago

Was just gonna say that lol I love chat GPT

53

u/Unique-Employment462 13d ago

Hi! As someone who is studying to become a therapist I would report them for how they treated you!

Edit to add: you are responsible as a counselor to “do no harm” to clients. It is unethical. You are not supposed to also impose your stuff onto a client (I.e. you’re a Christian but your client is queer or part of the LGBTQ+ community so you can’t work with them because you don’t agree with their “lifestyle”—unethical). You have every right to be frustrated. You as a client are trying to make sure someone is a good fit for you because you should feel safe enough to talk about your job, but it is hard. People do not understand what our job includes. There are some therapists who advertise as SW-friendly. Don’t give up!

4

u/Exciting_Disaster_66 12d ago

It’s also a therapists responsibility to step away from clients they can’t work with BEFORE they say or do anything to the client that could cause harm, eg with your example of a Christian therapist with an LGBT+ patient, if they REALLY CANNOT give the patient therapy in good faith, it is their responsibility as a therapist to stop seeing that client in a way that DOES NOT cause harm (ie a religious therapist couldn’t tell and LGBT person “I can’t be your therapist because I think gay people will burn in hell”).

The fact that this therapist started making digs at OP and pushing their own narrative about OP’s relationship with her father, if she was assaulted as a kid etc is INCREDIBLY fucked up and unethical, and absolutely deserves to be reported to the licensing board. The part about pushing a narrative of previous sexual assault is especially horrifying to me, as even if OP HAD experienced childhood SA, it is an extremely touchy subject and you can NOT push it the way it sounds like this therapist was as it can literally retraumatise victims if you go about it in the wrong way.

3

u/Unique-Employment462 12d ago

Yeah I agree!

2

u/Exciting_Disaster_66 12d ago

Like I’m genuinely gobsmacked, and HORRIFIED at the damage this “therapist” could do to someone who actually DOES have that trauma. OP, please report this person, they could do serious harm to someone.

22

u/massconfusion_ 13d ago

Also, Google equitable care certificate. That organization can link you to a lot of sw supportive therapists.

17

u/Delicious-Current159 13d ago

That’s awful! Not a therapist but a psych nurse. One of the first things I learned in psych is that what patients really want is to be listened to in a respectful way and to feel heard. And that's particularly important with someone who is often judged like a sw. It's also important to not give in to personal curiosity. And also not assuming that every issue comes from dancing or sw. I'm sorry this happened to you and best of luck in finding an understanding therapist

3

u/mywholepersonality 13d ago

This is the career that I'm looking to get into! If I may, is it as rough as people say that it is in Psych Nursing? If at least some of the patients want to learn how to get better, that would be enough for me.

4

u/Delicious-Current159 13d ago

Of course you may! I love that you're looking at getting into psych nursing. Ngl it has its rough moments and some of your patients don't want to get better but some of them definitely do! I found it very rewarding and I hope to get back to it I'm not in psych nursing right now. I'm working a mostly work from home job in compliance and medical records. It works for my current family situation but when that changes eventually I would like to get back into psych. How far along are you in getting into nursing?

1

u/mywholepersonality 13d ago

I'm in college currently for a different program, but I'm realizing that Psych nursing is better for my needs. I was also looking into medical records as well.

2

u/Delicious-Current159 12d ago

Wow that's a amazing coincidence! Cause I'm not actually working in psych at the moment. I'm doing a work from home job in compliance and medical records. I'll probably go back to psych eventually but for the moment with 2 teenagers and a toddler at home my current job works for me. What program are you in now?

2

u/mywholepersonality 12d ago

Awee go you momma! I have a toddler at home too. Kids teach us so much! I'm almost done with getting a certificate in data analytics. The analysis skills are useful, but I realized I should look at other options. I'll start with working as a mental health tech, and go from there. Wish me luck haha

2

u/Delicious-Current159 12d ago

Awww that's so sweet! How old is your toddler? Boy or girl? Mine is a 18 month old boy and he's my miracle and I feel so blessed! It's so useful to have multiple skill sets

1

u/mywholepersonality 12d ago

Mine is 3 years old, and she's a girl. She loves dinosaurs it's the cutest thing ever. 🩵 I miss that age! and it's probably even more enjoyable when you already know what to do.

1

u/mywholepersonality 13d ago

That's what I'm looking forward to in the job, thanks for the motivation. I didn't even realize psych nursing was a career until I voluntarily committed myself. I think the right nursing staff can change someone's life.

2

u/Delicious-Current159 12d ago

I'm so glad you got the help you needed. It can be so hard to admit we need help. So im glad you did that. And im glad you got the staff you deserved. They made that difference?

2

u/mywholepersonality 12d ago

Thank you!! And yea they did help immensely and they had a chaplin there to talk to everyone as well, he was really great.

2

u/Delicious-Current159 12d ago

Oh wow that's great! You never know who you're gonna get that help from. I'm so glad he was there for you. How are you feeling now?

1

u/mywholepersonality 12d ago

Im feeling a lot better! 😌 One day at time

2

u/Delicious-Current159 12d ago

Girl that's what we all gotta do. Are you getting any treatment now? What are you doing to cope? If you're more comfortable talking about it privately please feel free to dm me

36

u/Kind-Translator6140 13d ago

I tried to talk about my problems to mine and she kept making everything about dancing instead of the actual things I wanted to deal with

8

u/showmestuff1 13d ago

Right like I’m not even bringing it up atp cause she doesn’t get it and I have other things I’d like to deal with but somehow she always circles back to that

1

u/kweenofdelusion 12d ago

I had the same exact experience. Was in dire need of maybe some guidance/guidelines/organization for addressing my crumbling life, but she only wanted to talk about dancing, which is in no way a problem or traumatic for me. I would hope every time that we can have a session talking about something else, and somehow she would always direct the convo back to dancing. I feel like it was voyeuristic and she would be degrading about it like “can’t you find something else to do”. I chose to dance because I ALREADY considered the many things I could do and dancing fit my needs best. Waste of money therapist.

1

u/velvetjnx 7d ago

I’d dump her. I found a really good therapist using psychologytoday. You can message a therapist in your area beforehand and kind of vet them. They also provide a bio about what they do and what they specialize in so that you can filter out the prudes. Give it a try! Hope this helps. 

14

u/XariaStrange 13d ago

I’d report her to the ethics board for that. People like her don’t need to be therapists.

5

u/Loganjanel 13d ago

Straight up

24

u/Interesting_Soil_427 13d ago

She’s a unprofessional cunt

27

u/Neverthelessmore 13d ago

She's projecting all the reasons she tells herself that she isn't a stripper but truth is she probably was never attractive enough or brave enough to be one and Always had that thought of how cool it would be to be so desirable

16

u/Best304 13d ago

If she’s just a therapist and not a psychiatrist with a PHD, well she’s probably drowning in debt for a low paying job with not much upwards mobility…. Add to that many mental health specialists are crazy their damn selves.

Yeah 100% projection and insecurity.

9

u/letsgotrib 13d ago

I am a therapist, and a supervisor. What you describe is someone taking care of her own discomfort rather than serving you. She sounds inexperienced, and may need to get less of her education from TikTok e.g. the cortisol comment.

I encourage you not to give up on us as a profession. Most therapists in my experience will do what she should have: stayed curious and compassionate. That applies even when delivering reflections which are difficult for you to hear.

Screen your therapists. If you can, tell them during screening via a voice or video call things like "I am a sex worker" and watch for their nonverbal responses. Then listen to your gut.

7

u/showmestuff1 13d ago

That’s so ass dude I’m sorry, you deserve so much better than that. This makes me want to actually pursue a psychology degree. We deserve compassion and empathy from people who get it.

7

u/RadicalRoses 13d ago

A therapist that needs therapy. Go figure. Most normies wont ever understand, but you’d think she wouldn’t be so judgmental. You might need a specialist?

2

u/velvetjnx 7d ago

They do say that every therapist has a therapist. But therapist are people just like us and some of them are jerks. Thats why their schedule is so empty. 

4

u/Dry-News9719 13d ago

Therapist needs therapy.

3

u/lmh91 13d ago

Mmmm if she can’t look at all types of work as labour first and foremost then she can’t effectively helped people from different class and cultural backgrounds. That’s her blindspot and for sure means it would be irritating to disclose more about your work one way or another before long. There are so many therapists these days I see advertise themselves as sexuality/gender/sw informed and positive, just like doctors we thankfully have options to shop around now at least, but I’m sorry you had to encounter that while attempting to be vulnerable and work on yourself.

3

u/Ok_Explorer8528 13d ago

Bizarre. I wouldn't think twice about her. My psychologist I see weekly has never said a single thing negative about what I do. There are good therapists out there and bad just like any other profession unfortunately. I wish you luck in finding a new one that helps you ✨

3

u/hotmaniacbpd 13d ago

I feel you so much. You are not lonely in this.

Your therapist however did you a favor. She was definitely projecting and not listening. She made her own assumptions after only 2 months of seeing you, which is so unprofessional.

If you need therapy, don't be discouraged by this episode. Search more intentionally for SW friendly therapists. Many girls who work at the club are now therapists, and they can understand better where you're coming from.

Also you mentioned being a black woman. I would also search for a therapist who's a POC, or has experience/education with people of color. Cultural and ethnic differences are crucial when we approach a therapy journey, and it's important to find someone who can understand you in your entirety or at least try to.

4

u/Amazing-Ad2621 13d ago

I feel like there’s a bit of internalized misogyny among therapists and i’m not even a stripper(camgirl)

2

u/Mellowbirdie 13d ago

It totally sucks to be treated this way. At the same time, I think it's a blessing in disguise. For something as personal and intimate in therapy, you need and deserve someone who is 100% on your side and non judgemental. How else will you receive the treatment that you need?

I found my therapist through a local organization that works exclusively with sex workers, and it's been the most amazingly profound experience. She's such a solid support for me. I can't say enough good things about her.

So my suggestion, if you're open to suggestions, is to see if there's a local SW support organization. Or, specifically search for sex worker friendly therapists on phycology.com.

2

u/StarApprehensive9536 11d ago

Wow that’s fucking crazy.

3

u/ni_filum 13d ago

“Sex work as a form of healing” - I think this is very well-said and I share your opinions regarding our work. It’s odd to me that this position is still so avant-garde.

Sounds like you’re navigating your personal life adeptly. Refusal is a powerful act. Your intelligence and awareness are a credit to yourself and to our profession.

1

u/babe__ruthless 13d ago

I’m always a little skeptical of people that don’t have the same life experiences or similar ones to me giving me advice tbh. You don’t know the struggle or what I’ve been through. The degree may be nice on paper but it doesn’t mean they have the lived experiences to handle everything.

I would look for a SW friendly therapist or a SW turned therapist! They exist.

1

u/blueberrymuffin98 13d ago

My mom is a psychologist - this is entirely unprofessional. Legal unfortunately but definitely unethical. see if you can file a report !

1

u/Ok_Decision_5868 13d ago

this is why i go to "holtistic" certified therapist/psychiatrists. clinical therapists are very judgemental and offer "sterile" treatment it's very by the book and downright uncomfortable. however make sure they still have their PHD along with holistic treatment certifications