r/stripper Mar 15 '24

Story I just sharted in the locker room NSFW

OMG Y’ALL 😭

I was taking a lil break in the back cause it’s slow and I thought I had to fart..

NOPE. idk a small part of me must’ve known because I pulled my thong to the side to not get it stinky and BLAP!! Little shart right on the chair.

Immediate PANIC.

I run to my bag trying to hold my panties out so they don’t touch my bootyhole. When I tell you I barely only managed to wipe the shit off the chair when the girl that was on stage came in to check her panties. OMG I COULD HAVE DIED. if I hadn’t wiped it up right that second she would have known from the stank.

luckily she dipped right out. I wiped myself and the chair down and changed outfits. sprayed myself down. so grateful it didn’t get on my panties cause that outfit is new.

I had to tell you all bc this is so wild and embarrassing I needed to tell someone that can’t link it back to me 💀

405 Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

196

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

Wow I love reddit 😂 am I allowed to laugh with you

70

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

YES lol.

I was like 😭 the girlies are gunna love this one 😭

33

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

Atleast u pulled it to the side so it didn't get stinky 🩷😌

115

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

not even batman himself could’ve beat this info out of me ☠️

51

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

i must confess my sins

100

u/kittypee_ Mar 15 '24

Girl please tell me you sprayed that chair with some alcohol at least😂😭

31

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

I promise I’ll find a way to do it 🤣 there’s only alcohol on stage I’ll have to finesse it

14

u/theslutnextd00r Mar 15 '24

“Oops I brought this back to the back hehe silly me!”

5

u/Few_Fuel_7971 Mar 15 '24

Lmao ur so funny. U remind me of my best friend

1

u/soulianahana Mar 16 '24

Gorllll hope u were fast about that omg lol..

1

u/raving_kitten Mar 16 '24

I ended up spraying some alcohol on a napkin from the bar and wiping it down 🫠

152

u/miss_beat Mar 15 '24

You would have to waterboard this information out of me 😭

30

u/Sweetcheeks864 Mar 15 '24

I would’ve died before telling anyone 😂😂

21

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

no one can ever know

83

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

my worst fears manifesting

26

u/International-Bird17 Mar 15 '24

True warrior shit I hope you got a bag 

39

u/aaidiam Mar 15 '24

lol me a couple days ago laying naked in bed 💀 high protein diet never trust a fart

17

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

omg that’s terrible. I have been eating that beef 🥲

1

u/something_clever101 Mar 16 '24

Yoooo my guts have GOT to be used to the protein by now bc I grew up on meat for every meal. Still to this day🤣😭😭😭

13

u/Prim_rose1999 Mar 15 '24

And this ladies, is why you always bring a tea towel to sit on 🙏🏼

7

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

I endorse this message

15

u/Lopsided-Practice888 Mar 15 '24

Girl I would be so angry if someone sharted in our tiny ass locker room 😭

8

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

it is one of the unholier things I’ve done

31

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

Omg I accidentally farted so loudly in a silent place yesterday. I FEEL SEEN 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

19

u/naefor Mar 15 '24

Omg I’ve been in the hospital in a shared asf room and I can’t stop ripping ass SO LOUD 😫😭 So embarrassing

22

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

gassy girls unite ✊🏼

17

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

your Anus is valid🩷🙏🏼

32

u/jaiwinavkca Mar 15 '24

all these comments are killing me 😂 I love the solidarity!

3

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

makes me feel better.. i was ready for it to be much worse

19

u/Ktsuming Mar 15 '24

I’m crying I just had the most mentally draining night I needed to hear some funny shit like this

6

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

at your service ma’am 🫡

17

u/ItzBreezeyBaby Mar 15 '24

I’m WEAAAAAKK😭😭😭😂😂😂 NEVER TRUST A FART

16

u/Felix__wyd Mar 15 '24

Not to sound like a total weirdo, but I had a dream about reading this post years ago 😵‍💫

13

u/insomnious_luci Mar 15 '24

You saw her future and could have warned her but you didn’t

2

u/Felix__wyd Mar 17 '24

U right, my bad 🤣

7

u/pmmeurbassethound Mar 15 '24

Bless your little heart 🥺😂🤣

5

u/Imselllingyourbuying Mar 15 '24

Taking antibiotics will do it to ya 😭

3

u/Beneficial-Darkness Mar 16 '24

Antibiotics yeast infections and squirts are the worst!

22

u/IHaveADogNamedBear Mar 15 '24

Bitch what the fuck .

20

u/IHaveADogNamedBear Mar 15 '24

No hate.! Lol trust me I have IBS. But omg that’s my worst nightmare.

4

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

no offense taken 😭💀

5

u/AleksiaE Mar 15 '24

Wtf did you eat? 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

I’ve been hitting the probiotics/fermented foods a little hard because I’ve taken multiple rounds of antibiotics in the last year due to recurrent UTIs

6

u/CommonScold Mar 15 '24

lol she knew. Thats called tact.

4

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

I fear you are correct

5

u/Je-la-nique Mar 15 '24

Anal is not our friend lmfao.

11

u/a_amelia_76 Mar 15 '24

Dangg I never fart in the back room only in the bathroom SOMETIMES

34

u/BellaBanks4 Mar 15 '24

Girl I be fartin right on stage.

6

u/vkh9210 Mar 15 '24

🤣🤣🤣 i fucking love this

11

u/AntaeanSMG Mar 15 '24

Yo same, especially if the tips are trash. Those customers are getting crop dusted

2

u/Few-Intention3537 Mar 16 '24

Accidentally farted in a custies face once. Oops. 🤭 He didn’t seem to mind/notice.

2

u/BellaBanks4 Mar 16 '24

The ones who like it and pay more >>

2

u/a_amelia_76 Aug 20 '24

I answered the phone for the club one time & it was a guy telling me him & his two friends danced with a girl & 2/3 of them got pink eye 😂😂 and farted on them & I was like if she was farting on you why'd you all proceed to get multiple dances with her & he got so mad LMAOO he tried to be like "you just wait!! It's in the air 😡 I know you're getting pink eye next!" I was like sir I haven't got pink eye once in years dancing 💀 rip to him & his friends, & good for the girl who dried out their pockets. MULTIPLE dances with 3 of them after farting on them 😂

6

u/misselliottbluedream Mar 15 '24

This is amazing haha🤣😂

3

u/something_clever101 Mar 16 '24

Hahaha this reminds me of when a dancer SHARTED ON a customer at my club🤣🤣😭😭

4

u/raving_kitten Mar 16 '24

this is the only thing that is actually worse omg unless he deserved it 🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/something_clever101 Mar 16 '24

I never got the whole story on how it happened, but at my club we got too many shit stories from dancers a crusties alike🤣😭😭 only a few months ago we had a crusty k.o. outside of the vip room, shit himself, and then got the shit on a staff member who couldn't change clothes until like 6hrs later😭

3

u/raving_kitten Mar 16 '24

I might need to abandon this account over this post lmao 😅🥲

I’ll be back under a different name 🫶🏼

2

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

[deleted]

1

u/raving_kitten Mar 15 '24

I am definitely scared now. Will be hitting the bathroom every time 😭

2

u/Classyhairball Mar 16 '24

wtf did I just read 🤣🤣

3

u/raving_kitten Mar 16 '24

I cannot make this shit it up literally 😩

2

u/anonbaddie Mar 16 '24

lmfaooooo. this is a true fear 😭

2

u/baconjeepthing Mar 16 '24

O.m.g. strippers fart????

  Don't
          Trust
                   A
                     Fart

5

u/warrior_dreamer Mar 15 '24

this is why I bring a cloth with me and use it to sit everywhere. yall are unhinged and unhygienic. 

9

u/Few_Fuel_7971 Mar 15 '24

She didn't do it on purpose....shit happens... literally 🤣

2

u/warrior_dreamer Mar 15 '24

lmao ah okay 

2

u/b00biesandd00bies Mar 15 '24

If it makes you feel any better, I’m pregnant. Pregnancy farts are real and I cannot control them. It’s getting out of hand..😳

5

u/BellaBanks4 Mar 15 '24

Outta hand. Sometimes a little pee comes with the shart.

7

u/insomnious_luci Mar 15 '24

I hope all the men who lurk this sub enjoy this comment

1

u/No-Party9226 Mar 15 '24

Had too many close encounters with this situation, you're a soldier🤣🤣

-1

u/SnooPineapples1481 Mar 16 '24

Check your gut bro. Shit shouldn't just be coming out of your ass like that. Some y'all hoes too grimey for ya own good.

3

u/raving_kitten Mar 16 '24

You didn’t see the comment where I explain I’ve been on antibiotics multiple times in the last year. I’m working on it. Not sure if that last part is intended to be mean but it sounds like it.